Things that make you go What the F**k?

Started by The Real Laoislad, November 19, 2007, 05:54:25 PM

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full back

Quote from: maddog on December 04, 2007, 02:31:14 PM
In one of those silly debates about who lives in nicest area she was taking quite a hammering by a couple of local lads about her area known as Chelmsley Wood. Its a right kip. She went on the defensive when car jackings, break ins, mattresses in front gardens, all were thrown at her. Her response still kills me to this day. "Chelmsley Wood isn't that bad, hardly anything ever happens in my road, apart from that man that got raped in the alleyway beside my house."

Holy fcuk maddog, she is one work of art
Who interviewed this girl & who actually employed her - she must be some looker because it certainly wasnt her brains that got her the job

Puckoon

Our resturaunt/bar used to borrow stock from another resturaunt (owned by a mean f**ker) and vice versa when we would run low of a particular item. There was one waitress in particular who was just daft as a brush ( one famous quote when we were talking about genghis khan "Oh yeah I know him, the footballer"?)

Anyways, one day the chef sent her up to grants to see if we could borrow a leg of salmon... So the chef calls grants and asks them to play along.

She comes back down a few minutes later holding a pork loin wrapped in foil, saying "Grants didnt have any salmon legs either, so they sent down some seabass instead"


maddog

Quote from: full back on December 04, 2007, 02:52:59 PM
Quote from: maddog on December 04, 2007, 02:31:14 PM
In one of those silly debates about who lives in nicest area she was taking quite a hammering by a couple of local lads about her area known as Chelmsley Wood. Its a right kip. She went on the defensive when car jackings, break ins, mattresses in front gardens, all were thrown at her. Her response still kills me to this day. "Chelmsley Wood isn't that bad, hardly anything ever happens in my road, apart from that man that got raped in the alleyway beside my house."

Holy fcuk maddog, she is one work of art
Who interviewed this girl & who actually employed her - she must be some looker because it certainly wasnt her brains that got her the job


She is just a temp so no interview required. She does her job in fairness which is just manual input so no thought required thanks be to Jesus.
However the boss was talking about making her permenant which means fudging her aptitude test as there is no way in hell she will pass it.
I thought the last temp was thick (she went on about crossing a chihuahua with her cat so she could put it in her handbag while strutting around town), when advised to read up on her Charles Darwin she just said "who?", but she wasn't a patch on this one.




stew

Quote from: maddog on December 04, 2007, 03:19:33 PM
Quote from: full back on December 04, 2007, 02:52:59 PM
Quote from: maddog on December 04, 2007, 02:31:14 PM
In one of those silly debates about who lives in nicest area she was taking quite a hammering by a couple of local lads about her area known as Chelmsley Wood. Its a right kip. She went on the defensive when car jackings, break ins, mattresses in front gardens, all were thrown at her. Her response still kills me to this day. "Chelmsley Wood isn't that bad, hardly anything ever happens in my road, apart from that man that got raped in the alleyway beside my house."

Holy fcuk maddog, she is one work of art
Who interviewed this girl & who actually employed her - she must be some looker because it certainly wasnt her brains that got her the job


She is just a temp so no interview required. She does her job in fairness which is just manual input so no thought required thanks be to Jesus.
However the boss was talking about making her permenant which means fudging her aptitude test as there is no way in hell she will pass it.
I thought the last temp was thick (she went on about crossing a chihuahua with her cat so she could put it in her handbag while strutting around town), when advised to read up on her Charles Darwin she just said "who?", but she wasn't a patch on this one.





:D :D :D :D

Maddog you are killing me here. This is hilarious altogether.
Armagh, the one true love of a mans life.

Tyrones own


What the Fcuk, I thought they usually waited til the kids were in the college
before being force fed agenda's, is it any wonder we are where we are!!

http://michellemalkin.com/2007/11/28/seattle-mayor-warns-kids-take-these-eco-light-bulbs-or-santa-and-the-reindeer-will-drown/
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
  - Walter Lippmann

Tyrones own

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
  - Walter Lippmann

Puckoon

Just watching a tv interview here with Jeffery Dahmer. Blood curdling frankness, scary scary man.


maddog

We had an on-line employee survey done a couple of months ago. I'm sure some of you will be familiar with these. Anyway there are a few questions at the start that determine age range, department, and length of service.
We were brow beaten into doing this confidential survey, no one was interested. Everyone did it after management harping on that we had to do it, and lo and behold the results came back which portray our local management in a very poor light. Now the inquisition has started into who stitched them up. So we gave an honest opinion to HR in a confidential manner and now the shit has started to fly. :o

Tyrones own

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
  - Walter Lippmann

stephenite

Guy standing on the street at lunchtime talking into one of those nice new Nokia N95 8GB phones that cost AU$1105 to buy new here and aren't yet available to get on a contract deal, I'm walking past and he says to the person on the phone 'hang on a second' and says to me, could you spare me a few dollars for the train?

new devil

A classic case of....Fur coat and no knickers  ;D

gerry

Quote
Yip.............. a formal complaint was made, I never wanted things to go the way they did and I would have prefered to keep them both but I couldnt. After  her interview I had the option of keeping her in my department or having her transfer and she is staying. This was my decision. The same blade that made the original complaint is mad at me because of that decision. You cant feckin win.

Stew, Maybe i missed it, but what happen your man who was all over her?
God bless the hills of Dooish, be they heather-clad or lea,

stew

Quote from: maddog on December 06, 2007, 02:29:32 PM
We had an on-line employee survey done a couple of months ago. I'm sure some of you will be familiar with these. Anyway there are a few questions at the start that determine age range, department, and length of service.
We were brow beaten into doing this confidential survey, no one was interested. Everyone did it after management harping on that we had to do it, and lo and behold the results came back which portray our local management in a very poor light. Now the inquisition has started into who stitched them up. So we gave an honest opinion to HR in a confidential manner and now the shit has started to fly. :o

Maddog, tell them you are happy as a pig in do do and you will be fine. The wife goes through the same thing every year as a nurse and the leaders who get graded get poor results and then try and find out who said what and all that does is make things worse. If they done want bad results either A, change and do a better job by taking notice of the poor results or B stop sending out a meaningless survey that they end up ignoring anyway.
Armagh, the one true love of a mans life.

Gabriel_Hurl

QuoteA Turkish lawyer is taking legal action against Inter Milan, the Italian football team, for wearing a strip with "Crusader-style" red crosses that he alleges is "offensive to Muslim sensibilities".

Baris Kaska, a lawyer in Izmir who specialises in European law, said that he had lodged a complaint in a local court against Inter Milan, which last month played the Istanbul team Fenerbahce in a Champions League match at the San Siro stadium in Milan. The Inter players wore a new strip - a white shirt with a giant red cross on it - marking the club's centenary.

Mr Kaska said he was not only seeking damages but was also appealing to Uefa to annul the match, which Inter won 3-0. "That cross only brings one thing to mind - the symbol of the Templar Knights," he said. "It made me think immediately of the bloody days of the past. While I was watching the game I felt profound grief in my soul." Mr Kaska told the Spanish newspaper La Vanguardia that the cross symbolised "Western racist superiority over Islam".

He said that Inter had "manifested in the most explicit manner the superiority of one religion over another". He said the court had contacted both Uefa and Fifa to convey his demand that Inter should be "heavily fined for displaying an offensive symbol". "How could Uefa allow this?"demanded the Turkish paper Radikal.

Inter Milan officials said that they were "astounded". They said that in the first match between the two teams in September at Istanbul - which Fenerbahce won 1-0 - Inter had deliberately refrained from wearing the strip with the red cross but had felt entitled to use it on its home ground.