Calling all Bards - Alternative Valentines messages

[tyrone girl]

Well a cards nice but dont want a load of rubbish written inside it. He can show me his love in other ways.

[The Real Laoislad]

Well a cards nice but dont want a load of rubbish written inside it. He can show me his love in other ways.

Your some little minx... 

[ONeill]

Well a cards nice but dont want a load of rubbish written inside it. He can show me his love in other ways.

A) Helping you to dry the dishes after you've washed them.
B) Thank you for getting him the beer instead of a grunt/silence.
C) Pat on the head and 'you're a good'un'.

[tyrone girl]

Well my car needs taxed maybe he could go do that for me, and pay for it too. Thats better that something stupid. And i wouldnt feel obliged to give him anything in return. After all valentines is for the girls 

[The Real Laoislad]

After all valentines is for the girls 

Thats where your wrong..
Valentines is for the places like Hallmark and Interflora

[tyrone girl]

So Laois Lad what do u get ur girlfriend?

[The Real Laoislad]

So Laois Lad what do u get ur girlfriend?

Honestly,hand on heart for Valentines I don't get anything,never have never will...
Its a complete joke of a day IMHO
I think you can show love any day, a special day is not needed.
Anyways if I came home with a bunch of flower's for her she would get suspicious and think I was after doing something wrong 
Anyway I have a garden full of the stuff,if she wants flowers I'll go out and pick her some..

[illdecide]

That buying card thingie is a load of crop...and sending flowers is for pansies (did you like that pun) but seriously flowers/cards and all that soppy sh1t is not for me and i'd guess 90% of the rest of us...(i hope)

[An Fear Rua]

card oxfam 99p
two bunches of tulips at Marks & sparks £5
and not a hint of valentine off either
job done.

I wont get a card as she knows I hate the day, she likes it and wanted a card, so I get one for her.

[SidelineKick]

Same as me. I couldnt give a shit if she never gave me a card, its a load of balls. I get her a card because she wants one, why rock the boat?

[blewuporstuffed]

THIS'LL DO

[The Corporal]

To <insert her / his name>

The time I have spent with you has been the most wonderful time of my life.  The thought of being without you crushes my heart, a pain I would never want to feel.  You are my everything and I want to grow old with you. I love you so much.

Touch my willy.

Roses are Red
Veins are Blue
There's 1 in my c**k
Just waiting for you

[brokencrossbar1]

Well i dont mind them buying cards but the man who would write all that corny shyte would turn me  Undecided

To paraphrase Elvis  "you're an MS in disguise oh yes you are, an MS in disguise hmmmm."

[tyrone girl]

  Im deeply offended

[Puckoon]

Just got this in a pm!

Roses are red
But the price is just silly
So forget all that shite
Just show me yer willy!