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Messages - Forever Green

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General discussion / Re: Corny One for Friday
« on: September 12, 2012, 01:20:23 AM »
A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".


Little Johnny was not liked in class at all.He was the class bookie,and every bet placed was a bet he won. So his teacher Miss Crabtree called his dad up to complain, to her surprise he hated his son's gambling ways. They both decided that they would come up with a bet that little Johnny would lose. At the end of school she held him back so she could talk with him."Johnny there will come a time when you will lose a bet and I hope I'll be there to see it"
Little Johnny scoffed and said "I never lose in fact I'll bet you 100 bucks that your bush is a black as the ace of spade"
Miss Crabtree hiked up her skirt pulled her panties down to see that indeed she had a blonde bush, with a laugh she said " You owe me 100 bucks the carpet matched the drapes now pay up!"
Little Johnny paid up and quietly left the school. Miss Crabtree called Little Johnny's dad to tell him the good news.She told him she took 100 bucks off of him and he left with his tail between his legs.The dad asked what the bet was and Miss Crabtree told him it was about the color of her bush and she showed him that he guessed wrong. The dad screamed nooooooo she asked what was wrong and he said"He bet me 10 grand that you would show him your bush!"


Went to see my dylexic friend on Sunday to find him rubbing shoe polish on his penis. "You f**king idiot, l told you to turn your clock back"


I was tucking into some sausages yesterday when I saw my wife sucking her portion seductively.

"Would you like me to do this to your's?" she asked, playing with her hair.

"Sure," I replied, handing over my plate. "You've put me off it anyway."


This woman came up to me in a club last night.

"Hello," she said.

"Aaaaargh!" I shrieked. "Why have you got a tattoo on your face?!"

She looked down. "It's a birthmark," she said sadly.

"Oh," I said. "Why would you want a tattoo of a birthmark?"

Then she walked off. f**king weirdo.

General discussion / Re: The OFFICIAL FAI Thread.....Roll on Euro 2012
« on: September 11, 2012, 04:45:03 PM »
I know I deserved it but the Under 21s let my accumulator down yesterday, the b**tards. They must have a pretty decent team to go win 4-2 in Italy with 9 men ffs

Check out Henderson's goal


Good to see there is more talent coming through. We should still have a strong squad once the likes of O`Shea, Dunne and Keane decide to call it a day

General discussion / Re: The OFFICIAL FAI Thread.....Roll on Euro 2012
« on: September 11, 2012, 04:14:46 PM »
I know I deserved it but the Under 21s let my accumulator down yesterday, the bastards. They must have a pretty decent team to go win 4-2 in Italy with 9 men ffs

General discussion / Re: Barking Dogs
« on: September 11, 2012, 03:27:44 PM »
Throw softmints at them

General discussion / Re: The Official Tennis Thread
« on: September 11, 2012, 12:10:26 PM »
Andy Murray is one dour looking bastard. I feel sorry for his lovely looking women

General discussion / Re: Man Utd Thread:
« on: September 04, 2012, 02:15:38 PM »
Wouldn`t it be sensational if Cristiano Ronaldo signed for City?

It probably won`t matter a while lot though as most United fans will be supporting City by then anyway

« on: September 04, 2012, 02:08:45 PM »
A great weekend of Championship hurling and all you`s are going on about is the referee`s

Just goes to show how shite they really are

General discussion / Re: Crumlin Integrated College, Co Antrim
« on: September 04, 2012, 02:05:59 PM »

Despicable creatures

General discussion / Re: The Offical Glasgow Celtic thread
« on: September 04, 2012, 02:04:35 PM »
Of course its Celtic

By a good distance as well

General discussion / Re: GAAboard Theories
« on: September 02, 2012, 10:10:12 PM »
If you say beer can in a Jamaican accent, it sounds like Bacon

It does

General discussion / The Random Questions Thread
« on: September 02, 2012, 01:46:31 AM »
What language do deaf people think in?

Do blind people have dreams?

General discussion / Re: Southern Pubs
« on: September 02, 2012, 01:32:56 AM »
Pubs are dying. Its really sad to see. A lot cheaper for folk to drink in the house these days but you`ll never beat the craic

Sinn Fein can suck my plums

General discussion / Re: The OFFICIAL Liverpool FC thread
« on: September 01, 2012, 02:27:59 PM »
I have it on good information that Michael Owen and Emile Heskey will be signed by Liverpool this weekend



General discussion / Re: GAAboard
« on: September 01, 2012, 12:18:07 AM »
Its very PC

Personally, I think its shite too. Just wanted to hear* other peoples opinion

*you can`t actually hear people on an internet forum

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