Author Topic: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders  (Read 1508 times)

sid waddell

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TRASH TALK GAVIN

Notorious Jimmy G calls out contenders


By You and McKenna, Amazon.ie

June 8th, 2019

You think you know somebody's character, and then you realise you don't.

Dublin manager Jim Gavin has dramatically upped the ante on the contenders hoping to stop five in a row this year.

In an uncharacteristic move, Gavin called a press conference on Friday night and proceeded to ridicule Sunday's opponents Kildare for an hour in an astonishing display of trash talking.

Gavin launched into his tirade unprompted after a routine opening question from RTE's Brian Carthy about what sort of challenge he expected Kildare to provide.

“Kildare are little bitches, f**king little pussy bitches. They've been trying to beat us and failing for the entire history of Gaelic football. And they're going to fail again on Sunday, fail in a new and more humiliating way than ever before. We're going to win by 30 points, no, FIFTY points, we're gonna stamp in the faces and trample them into the dirt. We're going to give them a beating they're never gonna forget. They won't be playing no qualifiers after the beating we give them. They'll be tucked up in f**king bed for a week begging for their mammies to give them an egg flip and a cuddle. And they'll never play again.”

Gavin then viciously attacked his Kildare counterpart Cian O'Neill.

“The f**king state of that fat ****. Look at him, the state of him. He's a fat pig, a tub of lard, a porky pig, he's so fat that I'm surprised his arse hasn't been sliced up by Brady Family Ham for public consumption. Bacon Butt is a disgrace – he's an embarrassment to himself and his team. Look at me and my boys - top, elite athletes, winners, toned, ripped, look at us, we're primed to perform to an elite level every time we go out to play. But we want a challenge. And these fat, tubby losers can't give it to us, they roll over and have their bellies tickled every single time. The only elite level athletes in Kildare are horses. Come out you bags of flour, come out and fight me for an hour, show your kids how you got slaughtered by the SuperDubs. HAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA”

Asked whether Diarmuid Connolly could yet make a sensational return to boost Dublin's five in a row prospects, Gavin was non-committal.

“Listen up, with or without Dermo, we're gonna pulverise everybody again this year. Dermo has a choice, he can be part of the gang if he wants, or he can sit on his lazy hole and go and punch boggers in pubs rather than doing it in Croke Park. It's his choice. Does he want to be a pussy or an assassin.”

The Dublin manager was then challenged about whether the GAA was ploughing too much funding into Dublin, thus diminishing the competitiveness of the championship.

He stood up and shouted “LOADS AND LOADSA MONEY”, before taking €500 out of his pocket and setting fire to it with a lighter. Then he took out a fur coat, a gold chain and sunglasses from under his desk and proceeded to put them on.

“See this”, said Gavin as he pointed to the burning legal tender, “we have so much of this that the Sultan of Brunei would cry if he saw how much we had. We could run the country and build 20 new Croke Parks with all the moolah we have. We could fund the European Central Bank. We could bail out medium sized African countries and write off their debt forever. But they can go and f**k themselves. It's ours, ours, all of it.”

Tickets are still on sale for Sunday's attractive Leinster semi-final double-header at Croke Park, available from gaa.ie, tickets.ie, Super Valu stores and from the GAA's ticket office on Dorset Street, priced at €30 for stand seats and €15 for the terrace.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2019, 12:40:17 PM by sid waddell »

Farrandeelin

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2019, 12:41:27 PM »
Very good sid. Keep em coming. :)
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Hardy

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2019, 08:45:52 AM »
Excellent, Sid.

Dinny Breen

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2019, 09:14:14 AM »
Roberto Duran would be proud of that trash talk. Very good.
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J70

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2019, 12:37:55 PM »
Is that an original Sid composition?

Class stuff, whatever the origin! ;D ;D

ONeill

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2019, 11:15:55 PM »
Any update for Meath?
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.

Last Caress

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2019, 11:27:18 PM »
Class. Great piece.  😂😂

Fear ón Srath Bán

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2019, 12:58:39 AM »
Maith thú Sid, have you a corresponding piece put together for when the whole shebang comes crashing down? ;)
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sid waddell

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2019, 12:29:10 AM »



We’re the only royalty in Gaelic football, says the Notorious Jimmy G

By Sean Borin’, irishtimes.ie, June 21st, 2019, 11:23pm

Jim Gavin walks into the Croke Park media centre to the sound of Motorhead’s “King of Kings”, wearing a mock crown on his head.

It’s a surreal scene. A few journalists applaud – one from the Evening Herald claps wildly as he stands to his feet, while a couple of others applaud more mildly, in apparent bewilderment.

It’s the latest instalment of Gavin’s astonishing heel turn as he tries to psyche out Dublin’s latest opponents in their ongoing bid for five in a row.

As is customary, Brian Carthy has the first question.

“A first Leinster final clash between the men of Dublin and the men of Meath in five years, Jim, a rivalry that has such a wonderful history, always great respect there between the teams, and no doubt you’ll have a lot of respect for Meath going into Sunday.”

As Carthy talks, Gavin smirks and strokes his chin.

“Just a little bit, Brian. R.E.S.P.E.C.T., find out what it means to me…I’ll tell you what it means – NOTHING! We have ZERO respect for Meath. They’re a joke. A fraud. A sham.

"They call themselves Royals. On Sunday you’re going to see the biggest massacre of Royals in Ireland since Mountbatten was blown to pieces. Eee-i-eee-i-oh!”

"Believe me when I tell you this – WE are the only royalty in Gaelic football. See this crown on my head? We are the kings of Gaelic football. Croke Park is our palace. The steps of the Hogan Stand are our throne. When you come here, you better bow down to the kings."

Martin Breheny then asks Gavin for his opinion of his opposite number Andy McEntee.

“Andy McEntee? They’d be better off with Helen McEntee! She has as much football knowledge as he does and she’s a lot prettier.

The only time Andy McEntee ever won anything was with a Dublin team. And Ballyboden said he was shit. That’s why they ran him out of the place.”

Malachy Clerkin is next in.

“You must have some great memories of Dublin and Meath clashes from your own playing days, Jim?”

“Yeah, every time I put the bins out on a Tuesday morning, it reminds me of Meath. Do you know why? Because I’m taking out the trash!

"Colm O’Rourke and his little shifty, beady eyes. Tommy Dowd, the big square head on him, Martin O’Connell, the big farmer head on him, Brendan Reilly and his stinky fake tan, Kevin Foley and his little pubey head, Brian Stafford and his even pubier head, Ollie Murphy and his ginger pubey head.

Graham Geraghty? if you can’t beat the Dubs beat…some eggs. Ah, had yis goin’t there, didn’t I? Whites only in his case! Only havin’ the buzz HAAAAAAAAA!!!

"Meath are thugs, they always were. But they’re bringing a slingshot to a gunfight. They can’t bring no proper weapons onto the field on Sunday - because Colm Coyle retired over 20 years ago.”

“They ain’t got James Bond to help them. Pierce Brosnan was a shite James Bond anyway. Meath won’t even get 0-07 on Sunday. We’re gonna beat the living daylights out of them.”

Meath is only good for two things - one is holding concerts. The other is making carpets – and we’re going to fuckin’ walk all over them.”

"They’re so envious of us they copy our players names – who does this Bryan Menton fella think he is ? Brian Fenton? His real name is Jimmy O’Whackdeball.”

"They say Meath have a mountain to climb – well these guys aren’t fit to climb the Hill of Tara.

"Big fat heads on them like John Bruton, young fellas of ranchers fed on fat angel dust cows and driven everywhere by their mammies in poxy SUVs.

They’ve let themselves go like Hector O’Whatshisname? Gimme Hector Grey anyday. Rahoo Rahoo Rahoo!”

"Meath are living in the past – their glory days might as well be in the Book of Kells it’s that long ago.

"Look at them now. Their spirit is totally broken. Their towns are full of Dubs who laugh at them. Their GAA clubs are filled with young fellas in Dublin jerseys. We have broken them as a people.

The only time they have any chance of a ray of sunlight in their lives is on the 21st of December at Newgrange. And this, my friends, is the 21st of June, the furthest day away from then. Say. No. More."

Gavin then stormed out of the room before signing some autographs for a few young Dublin supporters waiting in the lobby, and driving away in his AIG-sponsored Ferrari.

Tickets are still available for Sunday’s Leinster final at Croke Park, priced at €35 for the stand (€40 on the day), and €25 for the terrace (€30 on the day), available from gaa.ie, Super Valu and Centra outlets and from the GAA ticket office in Dorset St.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2019, 12:50:05 AM by sid waddell »

Dinny Breen

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Re: Trash Talk Gavin - The Notorious Jimmy G ridicules contenders
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2019, 11:18:10 AM »
 ;D
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