Check Norris Texas Ranger

[Minder]

Those are my plastic guns that I lost when I was 7. Chuck Norris f**king stole them from me!!

That isnt your denim waistcoat too Puck............??

[Puckoon]

No, but I got a few lashings with a belt like that.

[The Real Laoislad]

No, but I got a few lashings with a belt like that.

Kinky 

Must be a Hungarian thing 

[screenexile]

It was only a matter of time lads!!!

# Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

# There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

# Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

# Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

# Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

# Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

# The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

# There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

# Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

# Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

[muppet]

After many years posting under the Muppet name I am happy to concede it to a more worthy bearer. I can think of none more worthy than this man.

[Niall Quinn]

Jesus lads, come on.
What would happen if a relative of Chuck were to read this board?

[muppet]

To be fair I can explain my problem with him.

I went to boarding school. Every saturday night we were allowed to see 2 videos. We sometimes got to vote on which video. Most voted for the popular film of the day or some US teen film with the usual hot chick. Fair enough.

All the guys from the various west of Ireland jungles and remote islands voted for Chuck Norris.

After the videos, every single saturday, night we had the lunatics roundhouse kicking their merry way through every door, stairs and conversation. They were roundhouse kicking while brushing their teeth. If you asked what time it was you would receive the reply in roundhouse kick speak.

[Minder]

It was only a matter of time lads!!!

# Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

# There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

# Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

# Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

# Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

# Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

# The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

# There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

# Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

# Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Add my signature at bottom of my posts to that list screen. . . . .

[Longshanks]

To be fair I can explain my problem with him.

I went to boarding school. Every saturday night we were allowed to see 2 videos. We sometimes got to vote on which video. Most voted for the popular film of the day or some US teen film with the usual hot chick. Fair enough.

All the guys from the various west of Ireland jungles and remote islands voted for Chuck Norris.

After the videos, every single saturday, night we had the lunatics roundhouse kicking their merry way through every door, stairs and conversation. They were roundhouse kicking while brushing their teeth. If you asked what time it was you would receive the reply in roundhouse kick speak.

Roundhouse kick speak?howz that go??

[muppet]

To be fair I can explain my problem with him.

I went to boarding school. Every saturday night we were allowed to see 2 videos. We sometimes got to vote on which video. Most voted for the popular film of the day or some US teen film with the usual hot chick. Fair enough.

All the guys from the various west of Ireland jungles and remote islands voted for Chuck Norris.

After the videos, every single saturday, night we had the lunatics roundhouse kicking their merry way through every door, stairs and conversation. They were roundhouse kicking while brushing their teeth. If you asked what time it was you would receive the reply in roundhouse kick speak.

Roundhouse kick speak?howz that go??

If it was 1055 you would get a roundhouse kick on each ear. Midnight was two kicks to the top of your head. Oh the memories.....

[Medic]

the myth, the legend chuck norris....

http://legendofchucknorris.com/trailer.html

[Zapatista]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[thejuice]

Saw a bit of an episode a few weeks back on Bravo where he was fighting the IRA. Funny stuff. Apparently all IRA members are Kerrymen living in America going by the accents.