Best/worst lines to woo a lady?

[MW]

If only most women were as smart as you! The amount of time lads waste chatting to girls who either have a boyfriend or aren't interested is scandallous.

Believe me, I do not waste my time chatting to lads that I've no interest in.  Then again, does it mean that a girl who has a boyfriend shouldn't talk to other lads in case they get the wrong idea? 

Here's how I deal with any ladies who I think might be chatting to me out of 'impure motives' (ah, have to admit this isn't a daily occurrance)...simply throw the word 'girlfriend' into conversation.

Girls in the same position could say the same (well, best substitute 'boyfriend' for 'girlfriend' )...not in a "I've got a boyfriend, leave me alone" kind of way, more sort of "Yea, that's a bit like I was saying to my boyfriend the other day, but he said..." Said fella will then be off in a minute or two to try his luck in, erm, unreserved pastures. (Well, normally, I once was cornered a few years ago by a girl who saw this as a challenge and tried to persuade he I should go home with her as it would be a test for me of how I felt about my then girlfriend )

[MW]

Ever hear of Rohypnol, ziggy?

On that (kinda alarming) note...*brandishing a piece of cloth/a handkerchief* "Does this smell like choloroform to you?"

[MW]

My friend did the worse I've ever seen. It was in Sally O'Brien's, Omagh in 1996.

He went to the bar and asked for a bag of ice. Obviously the barman looked at him strange, but gave him the place. He scouted the place looking for he described as a suitable woman. (Yeah, he was a bit of a tosser).

He saw a woman and threw the bag at her feet and repeatly jumped on the bag. She asked him what the f**k he was doing, to which he replied.














































"Just breaking the ice".

I said it before and I'll say it again, tosser 

Less demonstrative, and possibly funnier, version:

"Excuse me, how much does a polar bear weigh?"

"Erm, what? I don't know. Why?"

"Just through it would break the ice"

[Yes I Would]

So MW did you nail her?

[MW]

So MW did you nail her?

No, I'm a good boy when I'm in a relationship...mind you the ex-girlfriend in question ditched me the next month

Juat remembered another instance from a few months ago when I was out with my girlfriend and a few of her mates...

Drunkish girl *accosting me on the way back from the toilets* "C'mere (pulls me towards her)...have you got a girlfriend?"

Me: "Yes...that's her over there actually"

DG: *pushing me away* "You're no use to me then!"

Terribly forward these days, women, I blame that show with four ropey old Manhattanites

[MW]

Yes he did. Then, she made him feel guilty about it before giving him a shoulder to cry on and she rid him again.

Looking back, that would have been a pretty good outcome

[Yes I Would]

When its on a plate, you have to have a nibble. thats my motto!!

Bout time they did a bit of chasing, instead of playing silly games for years!!
Read somewhere that women have always and continue to play away from home more often than men. Its just they are much more careful, and higher percentage of men get caught!! ( with their trousers down)

[ziggysego]

Terribly forward these days, women, I blame that show with four ropey old Manhattanites

[Fishbat]

Do you want to be buried with our people?

class!  forget marrying into the family - fancy burying into the family? could be the new one

Or at the wedding speeches it'll be "i wouild like to welcome Jane into the family..................plot"

[achadh gallain]

A friend of mine was out (and was rightly under the influence) last week an went to a girl
"hi girl, come on an sit on me knee an we can talk about the first thing that comes up"
dunno if the girl got it though  he didnt get her anyways!!

also seen on tv not so long ago:
fella - "here do you like raisins??"
girl - "em.. no, why?"
fella - "Aw right, fancy a date instead then??"

[passedit]

A friend of mine was out (and was rightly under the influence) last week an went to a girl
"hi girl, come on an sit on me knee an we can talk about the first thing that comes up"
dunno if the girl got it though  he didnt get her anyways!!

also seen on tv not so long ago:
fella - "here do you like raisins??"
girl - "em.. no, why?"
fella - "Aw right, fancy a date instead then??"

achadh, heard you were a sucker for this one.

Hi burd, you're from armagh aren't ye?   

[achadh gallain]

nah i wouldnt fall for crap like that!! probably just laugh an come back with an even worse chat up line!!

and as for bein from armagh.. eh no!
aghagallon is in antrim... many rows has been caused over this mix up!!

[The Gs Man]

Me being quite the looker and a rock and roll star, I am very often approached by the ladies who i find to be quite forward in this day and age.

I just flash my ring at them and it scares them off.

If that doesn't work I flash the wedding ring.......har har

Oh, and Achadh Gallain there can vouch for my handsomeness......

[achadh gallain]

Me being quite the looker and a rock and roll star, I am very often approached by the ladies who i find to be quite forward in this day and age.

I just flash my ring at them and it scares them off.

If that doesn't work I flash the wedding ring.......har har

Oh, and Achadh Gallain there can vouch for my handsomeness......

I'd rather not.... 

[The Gs Man]

A friend of mine was out (and was rightly under the influence) last week an went to a girl
"hi girl, come on an sit on me knee an we can talk about the first thing that comes up"
dunno if the girl got it though  he didnt get her anyways!!

also seen on tv not so long ago:
fella - "here do you like raisins??"
girl - "em.. no, why?"
fella - "Aw right, fancy a date instead then??"

achadh, heard you were a sucker for this one.

Hi burd, you're from armagh aren't ye?   

cracker line passedit.