Best thing heard at a GAA match.

[AZOffaly]

Ballysteen GAA county Limerick-heard decades ago at a lunch-time match when there was a lull in play:
"C'mon Ballyshteen, the spuds are boilin'!"
and repeated forevermore.

i was told that was Ahane in Limerick

That is Ahane. It dates from Mick Mackey's time.

We have a lad that does announcements in O'Connor Park. A couple of his are 'Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a black man's jacket after being handed in here. Could the owner please collect it' and during a Leinster U21 game against Louth (I think) during a particularly heavy spate of substitutions late on in the game.

'Substitution for Louth, number 19 XXX replaces number 12 YYY and em, number 23 replaces number 11, and eh, on the Offaly team number 18 replaces number, no, wait, number 17 replaces......(silence) Ah Jaysus they're running on like rabbits over there'.

[rootthemout]

story told at recent wake of a down gael , he was umpiring an importantant club game  in Down when a point was scored, a member of the crowd shouted out for f..k sake umpire that was never a point, to which the umpire replied

"check the irish news tomorrow to see if it was a point or not ya bollocks"

the crowd errupted .

[the scenic route]

two mates of mine at a castleblaney eniskeen a couple of weeks ago out of boredom, told me a great one.

Player was makin a move up the line to make it to a return pass dont think he was the quickest was possible be overtaken by an opponent not sure, but anyway old man be side my two mates lets a roar out of him

"For F*CK sake Ronan are ya pulling a plough" lol

[the Deel Rover]

at a club match in mayo this lad was taking a 14 yard free ( but going through the ronan o gara motions) so it was taking an age the goalie shouted " ffs would ya take the fecking free sure i'd knock that over with me mickey" 

[In the Onion Bag]

BUMP - I love these

[orangeman]

Ballysteen GAA county Limerick-heard decades ago at a lunch-time match when there was a lull in play:
"C'mon Ballyshteen, the spuds are boilin'!"
and repeated forevermore.

i was told that was Ahane in Limerick

That is Ahane. It dates from Mick Mackey's time.

We have a lad that does announcements in O'Connor Park. A couple of his are 'Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a black man's jacket after being handed in here. Could the owner please collect it' and during a Leinster U21 game against Louth (I think) during a particularly heavy spate of substitutions late on in the game.

'Substitution for Louth, number 19 XXX replaces number 12 YYY and em, number 23 replaces number 11, and eh, on the Offaly team number 18 replaces number, no, wait, number 17 replaces......(silence) Ah Jaysus they're running on like rabbits over there'.

[/b]


Brilliant.

[canice lynch]

Club game in Derry and Paddy Bradley is giving one of the Dungiven defenders a terrible roasting a few years back.

Alfie Dallas who was managing Dungiven at the time took this player off and as he was leaving the pitch Alfie said "Dont worry about it Davy, ive seen him roast good players"

Think it was Alfie as well, half time in a championship match and Dungiven are getting well beat by someone he says "Lads the longer we stay in this changing room the longer we'll stay in the championship" 

Classic

[johnneycool]

Reserve hurling game against or neighbours Portaferry was cutting up a bit rough, corner forward broke his hurley and came running to the sideline to get his spare and the manager, Gary 'Scouse' Coulter pulled him an old one from the bag, corner forward looked at it and said, "that's not my hurley", Scouse's shouts at him, "fuckin break that one first then I'll give you your hurley".

[blewuporstuffed]

heard this one second hand:
back his his playing days, eugene mckenna was playing in a club game think it was against dungannon
and was josstling for position in midfield  just behind the referee waiting for the kickout, when yer man hit him a belt,eugene promptly  turned round and leveled him.
when the ref turned round the dungannon man was lying on the ground nursing a busted nose, and mckenna says 'jes ref, i never did anything',
to which the ref replies," well theres only the 3 of us here, and i did't do it!"

[Bud Wiser]

In a tournament (the ones for a set of watches during a festival in Abbeyleix)  a man known as Sabu (called after an elephant in Duffy's Circus) came on to make up numbers with the socks rolled up over the trousers and a pair of boprrowed boots and he was put in around the middle of the field. He wasn't getting a kick at the ball and someone roared in from the sideline " for jaysus sake Sabu will you go up for the ball " and Sabu shouted back,
"shur I'm not a f**king eejit, won't it come down to me".

[AZOffaly]

I may have said this before, but a particularly tasty local derby was in play, and as per usual after about 15 minutes a lad was wiped out on the field. Now this being far removed from a big game, with all it's medical staff etc, a spectator with an estate car was pressganged into taking the unfortunate to Tullamore General.

Anyhow, with the lad dispatched, the game went on, only for one of the mentors to notice that the driver of the ad-hoc ambulance was leaning up against the bonnet of the car, smoking a fag and watching the game, while the casualty sat inside with a dazed look on his face.

'Jaysus Tommy, I thought you were bringing that lad into Tullamore?'

Cue a startled look.

'Now??? I thought you wanted me to wait for a full load.'

[MacDanger]

Heard in Castlebar after Mayo had bowed out of the championship for another year:

"f*ck, out of the championship and the turf not even turned in the bog yet"

Apparently at a Cork V KK final 5/6 years ago, a former KK hurler had a couple of Cork lads behind him chanting "Rebels, Rebels, Rebels..." continuously for the first half and throwing in the occassional comment about same KK hurler and generally sickening his sh*te. Was heading out at half time and the two Cork lads were giving it the "REBELS, REBELS, REBELS...", KK hurler turns around and says

"Ye only ever had one rebel and ye shot him in the back...."

[High Wide and Handsome]

At a club game in derry about 6 weeks ago and the game was getting pretty spicy with the crowd starting to get on the disater of a referees back as his point awarding abilities were wayward to say the least.

With our half back being sent of for a dubious challange there was a few off us along the line when the ball game roaring down with an oppostion player breakin his balls to get it! He kept it in brillaintly but a crowd of us start shouting from behind the wire, BALLS OUT!" an oppostion supporter goes clean mad, taking into consideration this is probably the longest commute we have to a game so the reltionship between supporters is generally astranged.

He proclaims " Here get a fuckin honest -------(club)---- man to do the bastarding line! That ball was in by a mile!"

A man repsonse from the crowd. "Sorry! Wont happen again! See honesty is the best policy!"

[down6061689194]

"check the irish news tomorrow to see if it was a point or not ya bollocks"

I know several who use that line.


After Davey Harte missed a chance in Down Tyrone Replay

'No christmas card for him now.'

[Chuck Lidl]

one day in a minor match a lad goes to the ref "why don't ye suck 'em all aff" hillarious