Best thing heard at a GAA match.

[down6061689194]

After down dumped fermanagh from the qualifiers.

'No excuse for bad hay this year'

After down beat tyrone last year

'Book your summer holidays mcmeniman you wee B******'

How ironic

When that match went to extra time the lights were turned on

guy shouts

'now you shower of w****** are costin us a fortune'

[Oakleafer93]

In Celtic Park when Bellaghy and Glenullin were playing the 2007 County Final the PA system announced:

Car registration number XYZ 4567 you have left your window down...that was clever

[REDCOL]

Mayo playing a few years ago, one fella turns round and says to another - " That Michael Smyth is in the army isnt he" - yes comes the reply, "well he is not in th e rapid response unit"

[orangeman]

I was walking out of Clones yesterday and this portly Armagh supporter said to his mate :

" You know Sean, it's nearly too hot to get into a bad mood today !"

[Archie Mitchell]

At Clones yesterday - "McEnaneny ya aul bollix ya, go on back to Monaghan ya hoor ya!"

[Qwerty28]

Last sunday at the Offaly Kildare game, a young local girl was all set to sing the national anthem. Game live on rte so shes all dolled up and camera on her. Everyone standing and waiting for the music to start so the girl can start to sing. Good few seconds pass....no music so the young wan fires away....except microphone not working! She starts fidgiting wth mic but some problem with it and it looks like shes about to stop altogher and walk off when lad besdie me roars out....."C'mon lads hep the poor girl out here" With that the whole stand sings athem like never before and get her through to the end!

As shes walking off the pitch, she hands the mic to the 4th official and he turns it on and goes" Testing 1..2!...Poor girl hadnt turned it on in first place!

[Aaron Boone]

When the ref can do nothing right for your team:

He gives a handy free-in for the opposing team: "Take it yourself ref".
After the game is over and the ref was dodgy throughout: "It's hard enough against 15".

[Shamrock Shore]

Long time ago we lost a first round local county championship to the hated Longford Slashers (pre backdoors, sidedoors, windows etc)

Withe the auld lad the following morning working in Longford town and some fella sees him and says:

"XXXXX, how did ye do yesterday"?

"Arra Pat, the Slashers hammered us"

"Oh", says Pat....."well, ye did well to get his far"

Cheered me up no end. A Fr. Ted moment 15 years before Fr. Ted!

[SidelineKick]

I remember our sub keeper saying one day after we hit the onion bag:

"Ah sure a goal's as good as a point"

[longball]

Was playing in a reserve match vs Moortown, the fella i was marking was older man, well we had a fella corner forward whos a tall enough lad but very very skinny. he was just handly knocked off the ball my man turns to me and says 'what age is that boy?' I said think hes 18 or 19, 'God he replied, he'd needa go on a serious weight programe or ate a serious feed' i brust out laughin

[talktothehand]

i remember late on it a match the opposition keeper shouting to his defenders, " right, everybody up, O. P. up!"

[Maguire01]

"Bies, these hoors have a tarra history for negative tactics hey. So, any chance ye get, kick them, knee them in the balls, poke their eyes out. Just bate the clane shite out of the mushroom loving b**tards".

[3000 miles away]

was at a match in croke park a few years ago,there was a double header on, there was an ulster team playing in the first match then cork where playing in the 2nd match, during the cork game a cork fan kept jumping up and shouting "come on the rebels" each time they scored. then later on in the game he shouted it when things went a little quiet and a fan from the northern team stood up and shouted back at him "would you shut your mouth you's only ever had one rebel and you's shot him, think he was referring to Michael Coliins. That wasn't long shutting ur man and up and the all the people round that understood it laughed.

[Armaghtothebone]

Ulster senior championship many moons ago.
Plunket Donaghy was in the middle for Tyrone; made a phenomonal catch sky high above everyone and then balooned the ball straight back up into the air.
Tyrone boyo in front of us shouts
" Donaghy you're like a lighthouse in the Clogher Valley....brilliant but useless"

Pure magic

[navanman]

In the good old National League days (mid November, freezing, only reason to go was to abuse the other team / ref / your own team / the supporters), a local accordion band (I kid you not) was there to entertain the crowd.

Those of you who remember those brass monkey games will remember that it was too cold for a warm up, certainly I remember Mick Lyons waiting until the first 5 minutes had gone before leaving the dressing room.

Anyway the genius at the mic had decided that the accordion band would get their day in the sun, so announces that there's to be a pre-match parade. Cue groans from the crowd.

A minute passes and he says over the PA 'will the teams please line up behind the band for the pre-match parade'.

No-one moves.

A minute later, with a little more emphasis in his voice he repeats 'will the teams PLEASE line up behind the band for the pre-match parade'

A few players start to saunter over, but stop when they realise no-one is following, and go back to kicking balls aimlessly over the bar in a vain attempt to keep warm.

The man on the PA returns 'Feck yes so, we'll have no parade.'