CLOSEST YOU EVER CAME TO DEATH.

[mannix]

How many near ones have you had? Crossing the street,driving the car,looking at other women and not realising the wife was staring at you?
I was driving one night in the dark countryside when a car was stopped with full headlights on, i flashed my own headlights to  him but no response.As i got closer i was thinking "you ignorant yoke" and decided to slow down  just on the offchance,
As i got up to the "car" it turned out to be an articulated truck with a lowloader trailer across the road with no lights on it.He was unloading something and reckoned it was my fault if i had hit him.99% of people would have hit it, i was just in a very cautious mood that evening after having a minibus come around a bend too far into my side of the road and clip my mirror.
Another time i rolled a car and walked away without even a scratch,even though the roof was pushed over and the windows smashed.
I was at a girls funeral recently, she died in a simple car accident, and I thinking I must have someone praying for me or else I am very lucky.

[Rudi]

You should have done the world a favour & beat the chit out of that truck driver, I hate iggnorant cu*ts like that. Thank God I have had no significant near death experiences. Although I was on a road once with no hard shoulder, a car came around the bend  overtaking another car at about 80mph, heading straight for me, just in time I cut into a lay by which was circa 250 yards long. Where the f*ck did the lay by come out of?

[thejuice]

I got dragged down a road by some scumbags in a car. Apparently I had done something to upset them, though I have no idea why but one of them grabbed my arm  from the back seat and the driver took of down the road dragging me for about 30 metres along the ground. Gives me a shudder every time I think about it.

[An Fear Rua]

width of a road from a bomb that didnt explode properly.

[Orior]

If a 3 year-old child happens to walk out onto the road YOU need to be able to stop. Its no use arguing stupidity. No matter what the conditions or speed limits YOU need to be able to stop. Bear that in mind next time you're in the car.

[imtommygunn]

When in Oz we hired a catamaran to sail round the whit sundays.

We sailed it ourselves. Very very close to capsizing it. Had we done so I wouldn't be here!

Not the brightest move to sail it ourselves in hindsight...

[T Fearon]

Watched Arsenal play Liverpool in 1979. Nearly died of boredom

[johnneycool]

Got a stomach bug over the Easter holidays, thought my insides had passed through me arse on several occasions. Bloody awful.

[Orior]

I was on a double decker bus and was stepping down the stairs from the top deck when the bus did a sharp turn and I was brushed by arm against the handrail. I hardly noticed it, but i did get a slight bruise.

Later that night, I got a headache, and then noticed a black line running from the bruise on my arm up my shoulder and neck towards my head. I skipped down to the hospital who told me that if I had waited an hour I would have been a goner.

[stephenite]

Driving up to work on the road that runs alongside Dublin Airports runway - very dense heavy fog, visibilty very poor. Some little sc**bag in a micra comes tearing down the wrongside overtaking. Had to put the car into the ditch to avoid him, burst tyre was the only damage done.

I think I'm lucky I didn't get catch a hold of the ignorant little shit, I'd be sitting in Mountjoy doing mandatory life stretch.

[Nimbus]

I was on a double decker bus and was stepping down the stairs from the top deck when the bus did a sharp turn and I was brushed by arm against the handrail. I hardly noticed it, but i did get a slight bruise.

Later that night, I got a headache, and then noticed a black line running from the bruise on my arm up my shoulder and neck towards my head. I skipped down to the hospital who told me that if I had waited an hour I would have been a goner.

What was wrong with you?

[screenexile]

When working at the bank I was held at gunpoint. God knows if it was even a real gun or if he'd even have used it but it scared the shite clean outta me anyway!

Injury wise I fell off a 20ft hayshed at age 7 head first onto concrete and was knocked out cold... on return to my aunt's house with 2 eyes closed over she said I needed a good rest after my ordeal and I went to sleep for a few hours after which I was awoken by my parents frantically shaking me because they thought I wouldn't come out of it!

Been lucky in my life so far I've never been in a car accident and I plan to keep it that way!

[red hander]

I was on a double decker bus and was stepping down the stairs from the top deck when the bus did a sharp turn and I was brushed by arm against the handrail. I hardly noticed it, but i did get a slight bruise.

Later that night, I got a headache, and then noticed a black line running from the bruise on my arm up my shoulder and neck towards my head. I skipped down to the hospital who told me that if I had waited an hour I would have been a goner.

Shit, very scary Orior.

I nearly choked to death on a Foxes Glacier Mint when I was about nine.  Was lying on my back just chilling out with a couple of pals and we were sharing the sweets.  Anyway, it got lodged in my throat and no matter how many times my mates thumped me in the back it wouldn't budge.  I managed to make it round home but the only one in was my oul boy.  He played in a showband all over the country so he spent all his days sleeping.  Needless to say, he wasn't too happy to be woken up by his red-faced son rapping the door madly while slowly dying... anyway, when he realised i was in bad way he started frantically putting on him so he could run me up to casualty in the South Tyrone.  For some bizarre reason i climbed the stairs while he attempted to find his underpants, and when I got to the very top step didn't the mint miraculously pop out and i could breathe properly again ... you'd think the oul boy would have been happy my life had been saved, but didn't the c*** beat the crap outta me for disturbing his beauty sleep ...  I distinctly remember that every bite of food tasted of mint for the next two weeks

[illdecide]

While on holiday in South Africa some little black kid (about 12-13) stole a hand gun of a guard/cop and was running like f**k to get away while they chased after him, he ran towards me and the family and hid behind us while holding the hand gun. About 20 meters away were about 5-6 guards/cops aiming guns at him but of course we were in between him and the cops, it all happened so quick and it wasn't till afterwards when you think about it that it could very easily have ended in a gun fight and we would have been like a f**king tea bag...

[The Watcher Pat]

When I was about 16-17 after football training for our local soccer team. Atfer training a couple of minger's who didn't take a shower left the changing room's to be confronted by two masked gunmen. Anyhow the gunmen panicked and the gun jammed..They ran away and into a getaway car. Never even seen the gunman but if he had have got into the changing room God knows what would have happened...Still thank them 2 minger's to this day for not taking a shower.