Reasons why your GAA team lose:

[thewobbler]

We're all a little blinkered when it comes to our team(s). We're never beaten by a better team, or by a team who played well. Anyway, I was just thinking about how rarely the players actually get the blame.

In order of recurrence, these are the real reasons why our GAA teams lose:

1. The players just aren't fit enough. I don't know what the boys are doing at training, but it's obviously the wrong stuff. (manager's fault).
2. The players are skilful, but have no balls. How they could do with a former player in charge to show them what pride in the jersey means (manager's fault).
3, We've got the players, but they no have no brains. We need an outsider in to show them how to play football (manager's fault).
4. The manager picked the wrong team, a blind man could see that (manager's fault).
5. Look, the players didn't play well, but surely it's up to the manager to change things around when that happens (manager's fault).
6. The ref fucked us. That bollocks has never liked us. (official's fault).
7. The other team's linesmen and umpires fucked us. Fellas like that are a disgrace to the GAA (official's fault).
8. We never play well in the rain. I can't remember us ever playing well in the rain (mother nature's fault).
9. Trust us to run into a 7s style team on a hot afternoon like that. It'll be a different story if we get them again in October (mother nature's fault).
10. I can't believe the County Board made us play twice in a week. I know the other team had to as well, but how can we be at our best for both games (administrator's fault).
11. Look, the lads haven't had a game in nearly a fortnight. Surely you don't expect them to play well when they're not getting any games? It's a disgrace (administrator's fault).
12. We're not used to the big pitch. We get lost. (any number of parties to blame there).
13. Ach how anyone play on a pitch like that? Sure it's so tight, the forwards have no room (any number of parties to blame there).



I'd say there's twice as many reasons as that again before we get to the 'better team on the day' statements. Feel free to add more.

[TacadoirArdMhacha]

Sure you'd be waiting for Jesus Christ himself to come down from the cross before you'd get a pass from them lads (half forwards/ midfield's fault)

[orangeman]

The tea after training on Thursday night was cold and there wasn't enough mayonnaise on the sandwiches ! 

[Pangurban]

Too many of them Boys playing soccer on Saturdays

[Bogball XV]

And of course there's the auld favourite, they're too fit - overtrained, left it behind them on the training pitch.  (manager's fault - you'd want to be pulling in 20K a year for all the blame).

[off the laces]

If them forwards could take their scores (Defenders)
if the defence would just defend (Forwards)
Would the half backs stop playing the balls into the corners maybe we would have a chance at getting scores/Scoreable frees.(Forwards)

[Gnevin]

Foreign sport in croker and grants

[5 Sams]

The most obvious reason lads...I'm surprised nobody came up with it.

"They are shite".

[AZOffaly]

A common one I hear among lads like me:

'Sure them young lads don't give a shite anymore. Remember when we <insert heroic deed here>? Them lads only want to be in the pub or chasing women'.

[brokencrossbar1]

Sorry, I couldn't think of any reason at all, hard to imagine it really

[AZOffaly]

I'm sure you used a few in the list when Portlaoise handed ye yer arses

[brokencrossbar1]

They never handed us our arses, but one or two of them tried to have our arses if you know what I mean

It was the frigging refs fault that day allowing those fairies to dive all over the pitch

[passedit]

We're all a little blinkered when it comes to our team(s). We're never beaten by a better team, or by a team who played well. Anyway, I was just thinking about how rarely the players actually get the blame.

In order of recurrence, these are the real reasons why our GAA teams lose:

1. The players just aren't fit enough. I don't know what the boys are doing at training, but it's obviously the wrong stuff. (manager's fault).
2. The players are skilful, but have no balls. How they could do with a former player in charge to show them what pride in the jersey means (manager's fault).
3, We've got the players, but they no have no brains. We need an outsider in to show them how to play football (manager's fault).
4. The manager picked the wrong team, a blind man could see that (manager's fault).
5. Look, the players didn't play well, but surely it's up to the manager to change things around when that happens (manager's fault).
6. The ref fucked us. That bollocks has never liked us. (official's fault).
7. The other team's linesmen and umpires fucked us. Fellas like that are a disgrace to the GAA (official's fault).
8. We never play well in the rain. I can't remember us ever playing well in the rain (mother nature's fault).
9. Trust us to run into a 7s style team on a hot afternoon like that. It'll be a different story if we get them again in October (mother nature's fault).
10. I can't believe the County Board made us play twice in a week. I know the other team had to as well, but how can we be at our best for both games (administrator's fault).
11. Look, the lads haven't had a game in nearly a fortnight. Surely you don't expect them to play well when they're not getting any games? It's a disgrace (administrator's fault).
12. We're not used to the big pitch. We get lost. (any number of parties to blame there).
13. Ach how anyone play on a pitch like that? Sure it's so tight, the forwards have no room (any number of parties to blame there).



I'd say there's twice as many reasons as that again before we get to the 'better team on the day' statements. Feel free to add more.

Welcome to the world of management Wobbler. Rule 1 it's never the player's fault.

Here's a classic posted on our website after the reserve team (ie a team that never trained together) lost their last game of the season to drop a total of five points for the whole season.

Lets forget about last nite lads and regroup and come back stronger and we know wot to expect. The long ball tactics let us down last nite, we shud have had a plan B, a way of changing our attack, but we can learn from it.

[DUBSFORSAM1]

It might help if we practised kicking a football in training rather than doing all this f*cking running...

[tayto]

becasue we're just not good enough, and unlucky, but usually just not good enough.