GAA Managers Apply for Stauntons Job

[Bud Wiser]

Mick O'Dwyer.

Yerra, I would have put my name in the hat two years ago except that I thought I was getting the Louth job but ended up in Wicklow.  Now Staunton can have that and I'll have his job. Anyway, I have done all I can with GAA county teams, yerra Iv'e been in so many different counties managing teams I am like some kind of traveling messiah. Some of the meeja refer to me as an ould rogue but don't mind them, I want to do this job for my love of football.  Aye, I like a challenge and a change, that's what keeps me going. As regards the team, well as I always say, the talent is there already and all they need is a bit of motivation. I know I can bring them that motivation, forty five laps every night five nights a week, that sort of think that I brought to Laois.

Ger Loughnane.
Well now you don't know me if you think I am not suitable for this job.  This job, John, this job, this job is exactly what I have been waiting for because this job needs a man like me to change this team around. There is no physicality in the team, tell me this John, how long is it since one player got a red card, even a yellow card, even tackled another player? If they are not getting yellow cards they are not physical enough and if they are not physical enough they need to bring more physicality into their game. Sorry, did I mention the word physical more than once?. I would bring this team to a firing range and give them shotguns to fire at oil cans with Harry Bo...sorry, Roy Keanes head on them and if I can't win a world cup with them in two years then I will resign.

Pillar Caffrey
If you ask me am I interested in the job the answer is yes. Any other question? Yes I would need to be allowed pick my own backroom team, all thirty five of them including sports scientists, etc. Any other question? Yes, I would make changes, major changes and this idea of Robbie Keane doing cartwheels when he scored a goal is, I am glad to see, gone from his game. I would not tolerate that at all wherever they get their showboating ideas from.  The team needs to be fired up before they come on the field which they are clearly not, they don't even go down to the Hill end to wave at the crowd and the reality is they have won nothing in the last ten years or so and they need to be reminded of this so I can do the job. No more questions.

[Rossfan]

Surely Maughan would be first in the queue  - non stop TV and newspaper exposure and all that time to work on the tan

[orangeman]

Rosfan - that would be a good way to get rid of him !

[Frank Casey]

Dear John,

I've a plan to stuff Eamon Dunphy's mobile phone in my jocks if he makes any further nasty remarks.

Yours sincerely,


Billy Morgan.

[passedit]

Dear John

Ye want clueless i'll give you fcukin clueless.

P O Rourke