brilliant lies!

[5 Sams]

There's a boy in our club who can out with some of the most ourageous stuff.

Couple of gems were:

He fancies himself as a bit of a rally driver and on the morning of an AIF he was overheard telling a guy that it only took him 40 minutes to get from Newry to Meaghers car park. This was in the days before the new road!!

He was also the guy who was heard telling a car full of lads heading to Dublin that the Boyne Bridge could be seen from the moon!!

[take_yer_points]

Probably don't know her then.

The proud teller of the lie was a bit closer to home - a Brackaville man playing for Edendork these days. Well he was playing for Edendork the last time I was talking to him.

[ziggysego]

You know, there's a name of a bloke ringing in my head. Sounds like something he'd do. I'll PM you the name.

[Stay goalside of your man]

There was this fella who had a son playing with our club for a while, sound lad but he was a serial liar.

He said that one time he was working on a building that was so high in London that they would be looking down at the planes coming into land in Heathrow.

[The Watcher Pat]

A fella from Aghagallon used to be all into his BMX bikes. He was also a renowned liar. He told us that he was jumping the canal on his bmx one time when his ma called him for his dinner. he turned halfway and came back again.
Another oul boy said that the hills were that steep in scotland when he walked up them change fell out of his pockets

Theres another fella from Aghagallon who told me that he was chased from Lurgan by the brits...He beat them the 4 miles out the road threw his bike down outside the house. He came out the next morning and the wheel was still going around he was going that fast.
Another one was that he looked out of the window and seen 100 crows flying over the field. He then told me that he put his shotgun up the chimney and shot 99 of them. When i asked why he did not shoot all 100 he told me "i'm not going to make a liar outta myself for the sake of 1 crow..
Or even the greyhound he used to have it was that good it had a pup half way around a race...Not only that but it finished the race 1st and the pup came second....
The mans a legend!

[ziggysego]

When i asked why he did not shoot all 100 he told me "i'm not going to make a liar outta myself for the sake of 1

[pintsofguinness]

I was out in Jordanstown last week and seen a girl I haven't seen in about 5 years - would've ran about with her and a few of her mates back then but we just seemed to lose touch. She looked very shocked to see me - I thought I must've had 2 heads or something!!

It turns out a friend of mine told her about 3 years ago in the Bot that I'd died in a car accident and the accident was so bad I had to have a closed coffin!! She'd told all her mates about it and everything!!

The shock was probably a bit understandable!!

I think you win.

[thewingedlady]

There's a Canadian chap in college that i get talking to now and again that come out with the most outrageous shite
ye ever heard of. Among his accomplishments are playing 3nd division soccer in Costa Rica, playing tennis with Andy Roddick, living nextdoor to Hurricane Carter, acting in the childrens TV series 'Goosebumps', he did stand-up comedy at the Edinburgh festival, he rapped on stage with Snoop Dogg and that his father founded Remax and is one of the 50 wealthiest men in the world.

[ziggysego]

You lying thewingedlady?

[thewingedlady]

I shit you not, man's a total bullshitter. Can't stand him. He even told his ex-girlfriend a heinous lie about his own mothers health so that she would stop giving him a hard time.

[muppet]

I shit you not, man's a total bullshitter. Can't stand him. He even told his ex-girlfriend a heinous lie about his own mothers health so that she would stop giving him a hard time.

Did he want a soft time from her? Is there a pill for that, Niagra maybe.

[stew]

I know a lad from Dundalk who spins a great yarn to unsuspecting and very naive yanks about his life as a haggis farmer in Ireland. He had me crying with laughter the first time I heard it, he was playing guitar and singing at our local bar and fell into the company of some of the patrons.
They asked what he did for a living in Ireland and quick as a flash he said he was a haggis farmer, when they asked him what a haggis was he explained that they were a furry wee animal famous for the quality of their wool and that they lived exclusively in the great cooley mountains in County Louth and that they were very hard animals to catch but their wool was worth a lot of money.
The yanks were completely engrossed after he told them about the three main principals involved in catching the (hagi) . First you needed a Scarem, this bollocks would hide behind a bush and come out screaming at the top of his lungs waving his arms and generally scaring the shite clean out of the poor wee feckers. The herdem's were the boys that herded them together and then they ran them down the mountain and straight into the nets of the baggems who netted the wee fcukers and brought them to the gillette razor factory to be shaved before releasing them back into the wild were their hair would grow back and the process was repeated. These people was absolutely sucked in and yer man kept a straight face, I had to leave a couple of times because I didnt want to give the game away but he did a much better job than i did explaining the process to the unsuspecting yanks.
About two years later I heard a colleague of mine telling that story to someone else, he had told his kids who were about twelve and fourteen at the time and they asked if they could go to Ireland to see the haggis running about the cooley muntains, he was cracking up laughing at the time and says he cant wait until the day it dawns on them that he was pulling their legs.
Gerry Sloan, you tell a great tale you big arsed rugger bugger bastid ya.

[Puckoon]

My wife has a small pock mark scar on in the middle of her forehead. She told people for years (maybe 16 or 18 of them) that she had been hit by a train. Her father had told her this, and true to form, she believes everything that comes out of the gobshites mouth. This was one of the less ridiculous and least believeable lies he has told her - and she believed it until she was almost 20 and the truth dawned on her.

[stephenite]

I rode Baby Spice on a flight to Seattle - nobody ever believes me so I've just stopped telling people now. Only me and Emma know the truth

[Puckoon]

I rode Baby Spice on a flight to Seattle - nobody ever believes me so I've just stopped telling people now. Only me and Emma know the truth

She told me about stephenite. Said you werent a patch on ole Puck.