brilliant lies!

[charlie stubbs]

was down at oxegen at the weekend and me and my mates where debating the best lie that your mates have ever told you!a couple of great ones i heard where my friend told me ranged from him shooting a man to him leaving university because jordanstown lost his coursework,it wasnt the fact that he never did any coursework or exams!another fella we where with said that his housemate at university was going home for a reserve game,but he didnt know who they where playing.it ended up that they where playing his mates team,when asked how he got on he said he scored five points and he wasnt even at the game!

[stiffler]

Charlie what about the one from that same fella saying hes barred from getting served vodka in every pub in portadown because he will ''iiii wreck the place!'''



Another pure lie bordering on stupidity is that a lad once tried to convince me it was a good bet that there will be more than 12 corners in a game between chelsea and united because the defenders are a better quality and they will be able to concede corners at any sign of danger. When i said hes full of shite, he went on a rampage saying he has played 'football' and he knows what hes talking about. the same lad was playing for a reserve mid ulster side!! lol

[Hank Everlast]

I was told by a mate that he was goin away all weekend to a grand prix in monaco.... and his mum told my mum that he a to get a circumcision!!!

[rashCharacter]

I was talking to a few guys at oxegen who told me they had this mate who had a giant ball, i don't believe them but.

[Candyman]

A certain fella I know tells that many lies he starts to believe them himself, but this is the icing on the cake!!!

Says he was on a flight home from America I think it was. Steward calls out does anyone have a pilots licence to which he replies YES
Apparently the pilot had suffered a heart attack and they needed someone to fly the plane. Your probably thinking like me, where's his co-pilot?!?!?!
Anyway he gets into the cockpit and does the business only for there to be a problem with the landing gear, so he has to make an emergency /crash landing.
He gets everyone down safely and receives £600 reward money for his bravery, which he spent on a new sound system for his car!!!
Now this clown did actually get a new sound system for the car and it was about £600 but there wasn't even a mention of his hero efforts in the local papers never mind the nationals OR even the television?!?!?!?!?!?
TOTAL WING-NUT 

[Denver Mayobridge]

Not brilliant lies but I used to live with a fella (now established county player, played full match at the weekend there) and the man was a complete lying machine!

Usedto lie about everything, i think he had problems!! Would say he was going for a meal with his da or something then be spotted sneaking about botanic with numerous girls! It wasn't that the lies were ridiculous just the sheer volume and the fact that there was no need for them!

[stiffler]

I was talking to a few guys at oxegen who told me they had this mate who had a giant ball, i don't believe them but.

I think i seen that ball on the big screen during the Killers!

[Uladh]

Not brilliant lies but I used to live with a fella (now established county player, played full match at the weekend there) and the man was a complete lying machine!

Usedto lie about everything, i think he had problems!! Would say he was going for a meal with his da or something then be spotted sneaking about botanic with numerous girls! It wasn't that the lies were ridiculous just the sheer volume and the fact that there was no need for them!

Its true what they say about sons of the manager getting unwarranted stick....

[illdecide]

A certain fella I know tells that many lies he starts to believe them himself, but this is the icing on the cake!!!

Says he was on a flight home from America I think it was. Steward calls out does anyone have a pilots licence to which he replies YES
Apparently the pilot had suffered a heart attack and they needed someone to fly the plane. Your probably thinking like me, where's his co-pilot?!?!?!
Anyway he gets into the cockpit and does the business only for there to be a problem with the landing gear, so he has to make an emergency /crash landing.
He gets everyone down safely and receives £600 reward money for his bravery, which he spent on a new sound system for his car!!!
Now this clown did actually get a new sound system for the car and it was about £600 but there wasn't even a mention of his hero efforts in the local papers never mind the nationals OR even the television?!?!?!?!?!?
TOTAL WING-NUT 

Candyman that is a classic

[maddog]

I worked with a guy that was a serial liar, he was pretty thick but must have thought everyone else was thicker. Amongst his classics
a) the tunnell being built between Ireland and America that you can drive through, and because its a vacuum you can do 10,000 mph even in a 1.1 ford fiesta.
b) his mate lost an eye in an accident at work, he had his eye removed and while it was in the surgeons tray the eye could still see all round the room.
c) His son has a ducati motorbike that when it goes through speed cameras the rear number plate revolves to reveal a middle finger.

you could write a book on the shite that man came out with.

[Denver Mayobridge]

What are you on about Uladh? Its not the person you're thinking of anyway!!

[The Real Laoislad]

I was 15 and decided i knew how to drive,So i took my fathers car down town and as i was backing out of a car space i hit the wall and put a dent the whole way along the back passenger door.
I drove on as if nothing happened and parked the car back in the garage.The auld lad comes home from work the next day fuming because some c*** crashed into his car in the car park at work at left without telling...Little did he know it was his loving son who had crashed the previous day.I was lucky as the damage was on the passenger side and he wouldn't have seen it when he went to his car in the morning!!

I actually told him about it lately..Im 29 now!! But he only laughed at it and said he never suspected it was me

[Fiodoir Ard Mhacha]

Not so much 'brilliant' lies but a list of the most popular lies were on the wireless today (in no order):

I really do love you

That was magnificient

It's not you, it's me

You're a really nice girl / guy . .

Hey, it's great to see you

Sorry, I've no change


Any others out there?

[Hurler on the Bitch]

I was in the Hunting Lodge Bar in Belfast once when a fight broke out in the bar ... led to all sorts of confusion (girls screaming etc guy being wrestled to the floor) So, I'm watching this from afar and decided to add some spice to the event by shouting from behind my hand: "HE'S GOTTA GUN, HE'S GOTTA GUN!" feck me .. the kicking one of those guys got from a mob was serious .. all because they thought he had a gun..  Felt sorry for him all the same ..

[Fiodoir Ard Mhacha]

Just read my post back there and it sounds like a very dodgy night out, complete with cash transaction at the end.