relationship advice

[tonto1888]

I'd like to be able to just turn my feelings off but I am not built that way

[imtommygunn]

Plenty of men aren't they just don't admit it. It's no bad thing to admit it or be "wired" like this.

[weareros]

Or rather end of relationship advice.
Mine ended a month ago. It was a short enough relationship but we spent a lot of time together in the 3 months. I was ok until the last few days when it all seems to have hit me and I just feel absolute crap now. Time of year isnt fantastic either to be honest; it was my dad's anniversary yesterday. I dont know how to get over this guys and it's eating me up inside, and I feel in a fairly dark place right now. I feel like I need to message her but I done that a couple of week ago and got nothing in return and all that waits for me if I do that is more hurt. I cant drown my sorrows as I have been sober 7 years and I know that isnt the answer. Any advice would be much appreciated

Let it go. Don't try to message because that makes you the begging one, and women don't react to that. Move on with your life. If it's meant to be, she'll get mad she has not heard from you and she'll be the one chasing. If you act like you couldn't care less, even better. If she doesn't, then it's not meant to be but at least you'll have your self respect, have moved on with your life and your last memory of relationship won't be futile attempts messaging her.

[tintin25]

Or rather end of relationship advice.
Mine ended a month ago. It was a short enough relationship but we spent a lot of time together in the 3 months. I was ok until the last few days when it all seems to have hit me and I just feel absolute crap now. Time of year isnt fantastic either to be honest; it was my dad's anniversary yesterday. I dont know how to get over this guys and it's eating me up inside, and I feel in a fairly dark place right now. I feel like I need to message her but I done that a couple of week ago and got nothing in return and all that waits for me if I do that is more hurt. I cant drown my sorrows as I have been sober 7 years and I know that isnt the answer. Any advice would be much appreciated

Let it go. Don't try to message because that makes you the begging one, and women don't react to that. Move on with your life. If it's meant to be, she'll get mad she has not heard from you and she'll be the one chasing. If you act like you couldn't care less, even better. If she doesn't, then it's not meant to be but at least you'll have your self respect, have moved on with your life and your last memory of relationship won't be futile attempts messaging her.

Pretty much this - if it's meant to be it'll find a way

Been in this situation a couple of times and while you'll have a serious urge to text or get in touch it's the worst thing you could do!  She needs to miss and want you!  Time is a great healer though and it'll actually give you the chance to reflect more on situations with her were perhaps she didn't make you happy or which were indicators that she wasn't right for you - you're always gonna think the ex is the best thing ever once their gone but ultimately maybe just not right for each other in the end up

As others have said, get yourself out and about and personally for me doing strength training was great for the body and soul - you'd want to avoid just lazing about the sofa feeling sorry for yourself and piling on the pounds eating rubbish

Dating definitely harder as you reach the late 30s and early 40s because alot of people are set in their ways

[general_lee]

Blessing in disguise. What's meant for you won't pass you. Best way to get over someone is to get your leg over someone else. Download tinder and let nature take its course

[Aristo 60]

I've never done relationship advice but I need a 5 min break from report writing...so without wanting to pry can you tell us much else about the relationship that would help us figure out your next steps? 

For instance was there much of an age difference, was she fond of the finer things in life? Did you share common interests? Had she any old flames that might have only sparked up again once you were seen out and about together? Was travel an issue? Where are you both on the scale of attractiveness out of ten etc?

For a 3 month old relationship my guess is you might want to reflect on your interactions 3 weeks before the split as it probably took her a fortnight to decide to make the break.

Anything at all to put flesh on the bones of this and then we all might have a clear opinion. Working out in your head why it happened will be your first step on the road to recovery imo.

Ao, she said there was nobody else so I dont think that was a thing. She said she fancied me a lot and I fancied ehr. She thought I was a great person, easy to get on with and funny and I thought the same of her. She said we fell into comfort far too quick and dint do much other than sit in and watch tele. She is right on that one. She lives in the same town as me but is from the other side. Religion didnt matter though. Her ex was catholic and so are her 3 kids. That was another thing, she said she was selfosh, with ehr kids and job she just wanted time to her

I don't want to appear mean but this really sounds like a bullet dodged. She wanted more of the old social scene than a steady partner. If she is near 40 with 3 kids she probably wants a bit more of the way she imagines herself when she was in her late 20's - and she'll do that by keeping her options wide open.