Are you a Rangers supporter? Try the following and find out!

[T Fearon]

You know you're a Rangers supporter when:

1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family once died right after
saying: "Hey, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.

9. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels.

10. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much petrol is in it.

11. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

12. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

13. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

14. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

15. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

16. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs.

Rangers

MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM


NAME................................................................................(
2 mistakes allowed )

NAME................................................................................(
2nd chance )

ADDRESS...

(this means what is the name of the street your house is in and what is your house number.

If unsure of either - check the phone book for details but look under your own name or you will get it
wrong.)

If address unknown - put a tick here:..............

DATE OF BIRTH......................................

(What day does everybody sing happy birthday to you?)

AGE.................

(How many years have they been singing it to you?)

MOTHER'S
NAME.....................................................(Mum
will NOT do. What is her REAL name?)

FATHER'S NAME ( if known
).....................................................................(
NO SWEARING )

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? YES / NO

IS IT YOURS? YES / NO

REGISTRATION
NUMBER..................................(found on the piece of tin hanging from the bumper bar)

DO YOU HAVE A DRIVERS LICENCE? YES / NO

IS IT YOURS? YES / NO

ARE YOU WEARING RANGERS CLOTHING ON LICENCE PHOTO? YES / NO

COULD YOU DRIVE PLAYERS, MATCH COMMITTEE OR OTHER SUPPORTERS TO:

A) HOME GAMES YES / NO

B) AWAY GAMES (to keep costs down) YES / NO

DO YOU HAVE A WASHING MACHINE? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE PREPARED TO HELP WASH OUR TEAM FOOTY GEAR? YES / NO

(tick
which........socks....shorts....strips....jockstraps....hankie
s....bandages .... )

DO YOU OWN A BEACH SHACK YES / NO

COULD WE USE IT FOR THE PLAYERS "END OF SEASON TRIP?"
YES / NO

DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? YES / NO

ARE THEY YOURS? YES / NO

WOULD ANY OF THEM BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOR THE RANGERS? YES / NO

A) BOYS YES / NO

B) GIRLS YES / NO

HOW OLD ARE THEY? 1 - 10, 11 - 20, 21 - 30, 31 - 40, or don't know?

DO YOU HAVE ANY LARGE FOOTBALL TROPHIES (no name tags
) THAT YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DONATE TO THE CLUB FOR OUR TROPHY CABINET? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING OUR END OF SEASON DINNER? YES / NO

COULD YOU BRING ANYTHING ALONG ON THE NIGHT?

(e.g. fairy bread, party pies, cordial, plastic cups,
jelly) YES / NO

ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LEAD OUR SUPPORTERS IN PRAYER:

a) BEFORE HOME GAMES? YES / NO

b) BEFORE AWAY GAMES? YES / NO

c) BEFORE WE PLAY CELTIC? YES / NO

d) START TO FINISH OF A CELTIC GAME? YES /NO

PART TWO - I.Q TEST

1) PICK THE TV SHOW (circle the right name from the clues given )

BLANKETY______________ Cheque / Blanket / Blanks / Donation / don't know

I DREAM OF_____________ a premiership / Nakamura / Jeannie / having money / don't know

STAR TREK, THE NEXT____ Footy Show / SPL team / Generation / don't know

GET_____________________ Gordon Strachan / Lost / rid of Smith / Smart / don't know

HEY HEY IT'S ___________ a Premiership / smoko / Saturday / another defeat / don't know

WHO WANTS TO BE _____ a Millionaire / a Rangers member / stupid / Filip Sebo / don't know

2) PICK THE ODD ONE OUT ( circle the odd one from the lists below )

FEBRUARY 30th / MAY 38th / JUNE 40th / OCTOBER 33rd / APRIL 1st / don't know

SPOON / SOON / MOON / BOON / CHEESE / GOON / SWOON / don't know

A, B, C, D, 4, E, F, G, H, I, don't know

3) WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE?

"I THINKS BEARS IS THE BESTEST TEAM IN GLESGA"

IS IT:

a) BAD SPELING

b) BAD GRAMMA

c) BAD GRANDMA

d) DON'T KNOW




To find out if your membership application has been successful, please put a stamp on both sides of an envelope and leave one side blank. We will advise you by return mail.




BONUS: Please list in order your preferred complimentary Rangers Membership Surgery that comes with every successful membership application. We will try to allocate you a bed in an appropriate hospital, as one becomes available.

a) MOUTH ENLARGEMENT. b) ONE EYE REMOVED.( left or right ) c) BRAIN REMOVED

GOOD LUCK

[Forever Green]

lol classs