What's wrong with is not what's in it, most of that would be expected from any bunch of senior players hoping to better themselves and have a successful season, it's the contract itself. It's like something from Dazed and Confused.
If you want to create a culture you don't do it by handing out contracts, you don't demand they get holiday approval from you, you don't demand players that they must give 100% every session, life is not like that, telling them they will have craic etc etc. They are not robots.
It's coming from a paid coach that has no idea how to foster a team spirit or culture and obviously doesn't want to get to know his players. I have one word for a coach like that "ego".