Things Commentators wish they haddnt said

[Square Ball]

Here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio
1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing! "

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. "

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - " Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew. "

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said?? "

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, " So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night? " Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."



and no mention of

The batsman Holding, the bowlers Willie

[DrinkingHarp]

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, " So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night? " Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!


Now that is funny!

[DrinkingHarp]

"A lot of good games on tomorrow, but were going to be here with the Cubs and the Mets"
Thom Brennaman, Chicago Cubs Broadcaster

"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid"
Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

Harry Carey, Legendary announcer for the Cardinal, White Sox and Cubs Baseball Teams

"Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all of that, what else do you need ?"

"AW, how could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico"

" When I die, I hope they don't cremate me cause I'll burn forever"

"You know they are not going to lose 162 consecutive games"


Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder

"The Black is a better athlete and this goes all the way back to the slave period. During the slave period, the slave owner would breed his big black with his big woman so that he would have a big black kid - thats were it all started."

[Whitehair]

1. "Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter)

2. "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Winston Bennett)

3. "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical."
(Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

4. "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother."
(Greg Norman)

5. "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
(Terry Venables - Soccer Coach)

6. "I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
(Ron Atkinson - soccer coach)

7. "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
(Metro Radio)

8. "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
(David Acfield)

9. "What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in football?"
(Stuart Hall Radio 5 live)

10.. "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
(David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

11. "For those of you who are watching in black and white, the blue is behind the brown."
(Ted Lowe, Snooker commentator)

[An Fear Rua]

"You'll never win anything with kids" - ALan Hansen at the start of the 95/96 season, Utds kids went on to win the double.

[The Real Laoislad]

"Game,Set and Match there is no way back from this" Andy Gray sky sports as Crespo scored the third goal against Liverpool in Champions League Final 2005

"There is no way Shevchenko will miss i bet my house on it" John Aldridge on Liverpool Radio seconds before Shevchenko misses his penalty against Liverpool

[Syd The Sailor]

An American Sports commentator when a black athlete was in the process of running the kickoff back for a touchdown...."look at that little monkey run" Priceless.....

[DrinkingHarp]

An American Sports commentator when a black athlete was in the process of running the kickoff back for a touchdown...."look at that little monkey run" Priceless.....

That would be Howard Cosell. He was given a little talking about that quote but he actually spoke about white and black football players who ran all over the field that way. He was much better when he was drunk which was about 95% of the time.

When he was on Monday Night Football , a company produced styrofoam bricks "Howard Bricks" to through at the TV everytime he messed up or pissed people off.

[Square Ball]

"You can compare us at the moment to a bit of soft porn - there is an awful lot of foreplay and not a lot going on in the box."
Rochdale manager Keith Hill reflects on their 2-1 home defeat by Stockport.