its quiet...

[Under Lights]

Any stories?

Last November in Belfast, a woman shouted my name and came over with her arms out and hugged me.

It was Arlene Foster.

Did you have an announcement of 20 new jobs or something? That's all she seems to be doing lately. Hanging on coat tails of good news.

[lawnseed]

Any stories?

Last November in Belfast, a woman shouted my name and came over with her arms out and hugged me.

It was Arlene Foster.

Did you have an announcement of 20 new jobs or something? That's all she seems to be doing lately. Hanging on coat tails of good news.

Tell her to see a stylist. Worst hair ever

[lawnseed]

Went looking for a starter for my old corolla.. 200000mls on her shes getting on a bit. Best selling car of all time im told. Tried traynors, beatties and the usual suspects.. nothing seems they have all been exported to africa. So thats going to be the end of these seemenly indistructable little cars. The newer ones are not nearly as good. Is this progress?

[Under Lights]

Went looking for a starter for my old corolla.. 200000mls on her shes getting on a bit. Best selling car of all time im told. Tried traynors, beatties and the usual suspects.. nothing seems they have all been exported to africa. So thats going to be the end of these seemenly indistructable little cars. The newer ones are not nearly as good. Is this progress?

Thems good miles you're clocking up.
What year is it. A simple google search says they are available on ebay for around 60 GBP

[Hardy]

Is McGuigans still there in Forkhill?

[Orior]

Is McGuigans still there in Forkhill?

Mind your own business

[Hardy]

Is McGuigans still there in Forkhill?

Mind your own business

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXfmfj4z3Zc

[Under Lights]

No Walking Stick After Six


The following story is based on real events, some of the names and places have been changed and changed back in order to confuse you of their identity. No elderly people were harmed in the telling of this story.

Frail. Feeble. A stark contrast from their buoyant youth. Their bodies since rejected them. The inspector again signing off on their case. This wasn't living. It was simply existing. Betty had battled her way across the room aided by her worn out walking stick. She had stopped half way before rambling to Molly, who was slumped in a scarlet armchair, 'Where was I going again?'
'Toilet Betty you had to go to the toilet,' perked back Molly, despite her seemingly in a slumber with her eyes shut tight.
'Ok ladies, that's all my notes drafted up,' said the suited and booted Gary. Grey suit, glasses, balding head Gary had been the DLA inspector for Betty and Molly for the past two years. Chat was minimal on his visits. A of the time his questions were met with incoherent answers about the beach or pea soup recipes.
'I will send through the normal notifications..' Gary stopped with his usual spiel as he noticed a large number unopened letters sitting on the coffee table in the centre of the room. Many of these are clearly marked HMRC what a post date of over six months previous.
He bid his farewells and left via the front door out onto Clogher main street. The village had terrace housing, numerous shops, pubs, butchers, a petrol station and chippy. The street itself was tar of course but had a steep incline. A home for elderly people was straight opposite Molly and Betty's residence. Despite their fragile state neither of the twin sisters cared to leave the home that they had grown so accustom too. Molly had bought the house with her now deceased spouse Tom. A nasty brain haemorrhage undetected. It was a massive funeral. The church filled up quickly and a lot of the congregation were forced to stand out the back during the service. Molly's spinster sister Betty moved in with her shortly after the months mind, so she had been occupant of the three bedroom two story dwelling for eight years.
A photo of the sister's in their prime was sat upon a mantel piece above their gas fire. Strawberry blonde hair, skin as white as snow, a few freckles on their nose, the only noticeable difference between them was that Molly sporting a pair of thick framed glasses. Now their hair was the snow white their face once was, both wore rounded glasses upon their now wrinkled face. Betty had made her way back to the chair just as the six o'clock news was beginning on the worn out box set that sat in front of them.
She turned to her napping sister.
'So....pub?'
'That time already?' quipped Molly.
With that the pair bounced to their feet and scuttled off to get ready. The walking sticks no longer needed. They changed, put on a bit of lippy, squirted on some coco mademoiselle and out the door to make the short walk to the pub.
They were met at the bar by the only other resident Paddy. Another of the white haired club. Paddy was 67 years old. A similar age to the twins.
'Ladies, drink?' he chirped with a wry smile.
'Oh Paddy, I'll have a gin,' replied Molly cheerily.
'Gin makes you sin Molly,' retorted her sister, which was met with hearty laughs from the trio.
'I'm not tied down anymore Beth, I can sin all I want.'
'Better make it a double Louis,' Paddy jested to the barkeep.
The bar was steadily filling up with similar cliental. Old timers in for their evening drinks. Louis' bar was usually packed with such from Monday to Thursday evenings. Without them the bar would be empty.
Beth was in the middle of telling a group about their latest DLA inspection.
One for group contributed 'God bless that Gary, easiest inspector to fool yet, if only he'd finish work a bit earlier than six o'clock so that we could get out and about a bit earlier in the day.' His comment met with a serious of nods.
Beth shouted over to the bar keeper 'Louis another round there please, also I might need your nephew Mark to come look at our TV, I think we may have ruined the big screen moving it out of the room this morning before the inspection.'
The walking stick might be needed to help them home.

[The Bearded One]

I will never get those 2 minutes back....

[Windmill abu]

Went looking for a starter for my old corolla.. 200000mls on her shes getting on a bit. Best selling car of all time im told. Tried traynors, beatties and the usual suspects.. nothing seems they have all been exported to africa. So thats going to be the end of these seemenly indistructable little cars. The newer ones are not nearly as good. Is this progress?

Just how many times was it sold?

[muppet]

Went looking for a starter for my old corolla.. 200000mls on her shes getting on a bit. Best selling car of all time im told. Tried traynors, beatties and the usual suspects.. nothing seems they have all been exported to africa. So thats going to be the end of these seemenly indistructable little cars. The newer ones are not nearly as good. Is this progress?

Thems good miles you're clocking up.
What year is it. A simple google search says they are available on ebay for around 60 GBP

The latter is progress. 

[Under Lights]

CONFIRMED FOR CHRISTMAS 2014 SO FAR

BBC

STRICTLY COME DANCING
CALL THE MIDWIFE
MRS BROWN'S BOYS
BOY IN THE DRESS
DOCTOR WHO
JONATHAN STRANGE & MR NORRELL
POINTLESS
MIRANDA
EASTENDERS
NOT GOING OUT

ITV

DOWNTON ABBEY
CORONATION STREET
THROUGH THE KEYHOLE
TEXT SANTA
LET'S DO CHRISTMAS WITH GINO & MEL

http://ukchristmastv.weebly.com/latest-christmas-tv-news-2014.html

[Zip Code]

CONFIRMED FOR CHRISTMAS 2014 SO FAR


LET'S DO CHRISTMAS WITH GINO & MEL

http://ukchristmastv.weebly.com/latest-christmas-tv-news-2014.html

Can't wait.  Be better though.

Let's see Gino do Mel.

Let's do Mel at Christmas.

Let's shoot Gino and then do Mel.

Bound to get more than 1M viewers

[Under Lights]

Boy In The Dress is the latest TV Show based on David Walliams' books. He has had a a show each of the last two Christmas'- Gangstar Granny and Mr Stink. Both watch-able.

[ziggysego]

CONFIRMED FOR CHRISTMAS 2014 SO FAR

BBC

STRICTLY COME DANCING
CALL THE MIDWIFE
MRS BROWN'S BOYS
BOY IN THE DRESS
DOCTOR WHO
JONATHAN STRANGE & MR NORRELL
POINTLESS
MIRANDA
EASTENDERS
NOT GOING OUT

ITV

DOWNTON ABBEY
CORONATION STREET
THROUGH THE KEYHOLE
TEXT SANTA
LET'S DO CHRISTMAS WITH GINO & MEL

http://ukchristmastv.weebly.com/latest-christmas-tv-news-2014.html

Doctor Who?