Author Topic: Depression  (Read 69866 times)

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #450 on: January 07, 2019, 05:38:40 PM »
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

If a job is stressing you out my advice is to change jobs. I used to run my own business but ended up working 7 days a week to try and get a living....many a week I paid my employees and went home with very little. I started to drink more and it had knock on affect with family life. I made a decision to walk away from the business.....closed it one Saturday afternoon. I got a job as a postman....loved it.....now work in social care.....money isn't great but it's enough to do me at my time of life. Hope you get sorted.

Tony Baloney

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Re: Depression
« Reply #451 on: January 07, 2019, 05:43:21 PM »
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.
Been there done that. Feeling trapped in a job/relationship is a common source of depression. It came to a head for me as the only way out I could see was to work elsewhere but it had to be on similar or better money. I did a phone interview with another company for slightly better money but more of a commute (which in hindsight would probably have been a worse move) and told my boss about it and that I wasn't happy with current workload and pressures. He obviously told the chief and I got pulled into his office. Got a pay rise and more staff to support me but we are a big company and not everyone can do that.

It's a cliche but this thread is all about talking about it. You'll not change anything by keeping it to yourself and not sleeping at night. Everyone makes mistakes so I would assume there is more to it than just that mistake.

Eamonnca1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #452 on: January 07, 2019, 08:34:43 PM »
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

My work situation has been getting me down for the best part of a year. I've done something about it and I'm starting at a different company on Monday, a company that's making a bit of money and offers better career prospects, plus a shorter commute.

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #453 on: January 07, 2019, 08:51:49 PM »
Work to live......not live to work. Life's too short.

RedHand88

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Re: Depression
« Reply #454 on: January 08, 2019, 08:58:04 AM »
Work to live......not live to work. Life's too short.

This.

Walter Cronc

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Re: Depression
« Reply #455 on: January 08, 2019, 09:04:59 AM »
Cheers for the responses guys.

I think a major reason has been working overseas, away from family for this best part of 3-4 years now.

Have began to take steps to move home (purchased a house) with the aim of moving back in 2020.

Having a goal/aim is certainly beneficial.

paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #456 on: January 08, 2019, 09:39:36 AM »
Cheers for the responses guys.

I think a major reason has been working overseas, away from family for this best part of 3-4 years now.

Have began to take steps to move home (purchased a house) with the aim of moving back in 2020.

Having a goal/aim is certainly beneficial.

I honestly don't think I could work away from home. I've done it a few times for no more than a week and I struggled badly.


Walter Cronc

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Re: Depression
« Reply #457 on: January 08, 2019, 09:50:32 AM »
Cheers for the responses guys.

I think a major reason has been working overseas, away from family for this best part of 3-4 years now.

Have began to take steps to move home (purchased a house) with the aim of moving back in 2020.

Having a goal/aim is certainly beneficial.

I honestly don't think I could work away from home. I've done it a few times for no more than a week and I struggled badly.



I've no kids PJ, just the girlfriend so a lot of fellas are having a tougher struggle than myself.

Fair played to any man who has a young family and can do it.


Mayo4Sam

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Re: Depression
« Reply #458 on: January 08, 2019, 10:51:37 AM »
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

Walter thereís plenty of construction jobs at home now. A real shortage, you could nearly name your price. Specifically thereís a ball of work in Abbvie in Sligo, itís the plant on the Bundoran road so might be suitable for Derry if you wanted to be at home. Alternatively itís impossible to get trades or engineers in Dublin. If you want to drop me a DM I could put you in touch with people
Excuse me for talking while you're trying to interrupt me

Walter Cronc

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Re: Depression
« Reply #459 on: January 08, 2019, 11:09:09 AM »
Cheers M4S. I have made contact with a few firms in Belfast and Dublin.

Willing to do another year away and it suits the other half and her work.

Thanks again lads!

seafoid

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Re: Depression
« Reply #460 on: January 08, 2019, 02:09:36 PM »


Shane Carthy: ĎI was two years wearing that mask, but internally I was crumblingí

Dublin footballer on the challenges of tackling his mental health issues


about 8 hours ago



Ian O'Riordan
 


0

 
Shane Carty in actin during last yearís OíByrne Cup. ďIím absolutely touched by all the messages and well wishes, and more importantly to hear of someone who has gone out and sought help now.Ē Photograph: Bryan Keane/Inpho    
Shane Carty in actin during last yearís OíByrne Cup. ďIím absolutely touched by all the messages and well wishes, and more importantly to hear of someone who has gone out and sought help now.Ē Photograph: Bryan Keane/Inpho










































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https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/gaelic-games/shane-carthy-i-was-two-years-wearing-that-mask-but-internally-i-was-crumbling-1.3750462

The last thing Shane Carthy wants or expects right now is to walk back on to the Dublin panel.

Not with his utterly changed perspective on life and football and everything else in between. Or indeed his heightened sense of what exactly constitutes success.

What he does want, and expects of himself, is to give it his best shot, and whether thatís good enough time will tell.

In the meantime the telling of his story, his crippling and at times terrifying experience with depression in the aftermath of Dublinís All-Ireland winning success of 2013, to breaking point a year later, aged only 19 and the rising star of the county under-21 team, has been proving both therapeutic and rewarding.

It has been the latter in helping him realise how fortunate heís been to come through it all, including the good and bad days with Dublin football.

Six days before Christmas, in a lengthy online blog, Carthy wrote frankly and eloquently about his journey over the last four and a half years.

It detailed, without overdramatising, the downward spiral which, days after producing a man-of-the-match display in Dublinís 2014 Leinster under-21 final win over Meath, saw him wake up in St Patrickís Mental Hospital.

Only then did he begin to face up to ďthe inner demons I had kept away from for many yearsĒ.

Under the very deliberate headline ĎIím No Longer Surviving, Iím Living!í, Carthy also explains what ultimately brought him back to where he is now, just turned 24 and more determined to ever to revive his football career with Dublin.

ďThe first intention with the blog was to busy myself, to give something back to myself, positively, and maybe further afield in the sporting community,Ē says Carthy, who in November completed a Sports Science degree in DCU, and is currently on a year out.

ďIíd already done some talks on mental health and depression in schools and clubs, but theyíre limited to those present, whereas with the blog people could read and maybe relate to it at any time.

Sought help

ďIt completely surpassed that, in terms of what I expected, the scale of the response and reaction I really canít believe. And in such a good way.

ďIím absolutely touched by all the messages and well wishes, and more importantly to hear of someone who has gone out and sought help now, on the back of it, or just something that might have resonated from the blog. I also wanted people to know thereís lot of people out there that depression touches.Ē

Carthy will, along with distance runner Kevin Dooney and ironman triathlete Gerard Prendergast. also be part of a three-person panel discussion this Saturday as part of the First Fortnight festival, the charity organisation aimed at challenging mental health prejudice through the creative arts and spoken word.

Carthy will further outline some of the mental health issues specific to sport, especially for any athlete or player seemingly at the top of the game, which for the male in particular can sometimes be more difficult to face up to.

From the outside, Carthy had it all in 2014.

Playing with Naomh Mearnůg club, in north Dublin, already an All-Ireland minor winner with Dublin, in 2012, he was called into Jim Gavinís senior panel in 2013 and that year playing scintillating football for the Dublinís U-21s at centre forward.

The team that featured Jack McCaffrey, Brian Fenton, Paul Mannion, John Small, Cormac Costello, amongst others, went on to win that 2014 All-Ireland U-21 title in his absence.

ďI was two years wearing that mask, but internally I was crumbling, ďhe says. ďFootball was the only thing covering it up, as long as I was training, playing.

ďAnd it relates to where Iím at right now, because for the last few years, Iíve been in and out of Dublin championship panels, and that in itself can be a huge low.

But because Iím educated now in how my minds works, and the emotions naturally attached to this, Iím able to control it, whereas before, I didnít know how to handle those emotions, couldnít handle them.

ďIt became an ever worsening situation, whereas now I know how to put a positive spin on it, something I can deal with. It was hard to accept that at the time, when the lows were very low, but Iíve come out the other side now, better and stronger for it. From sporting, academic, and personal points of view.Ē

Difficult moments

He no longer fears the highs or the lows, as long as he feels he can control them. Carthy was invited back onto the Dublin panel in early 2018, featuring in four league games, only be to be dropped again for summer. Instead of letting that get him down, he spent what he felt was an overdue summer in America, playing football for a club in San Francisco, and that gave his fresh perspective again.

 ďI was involved again for the 2018 league, and again let go, and these are difficult moments for everyone. Football has given me so much, and Iím thankful for that, and playing football in the US last summer was a great experience. That negative turned positive straightaway.

And football definitely is still a big motivation for me, I always strive to be the best I can be, whether I get back there or not, Iíll never stop. This year it may have to be at club level, but I want Jim Gavin to know that if or when that call might come, Iíll be ready, and Iím staying ready.


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ďI enjoy the training, and that motivation to get back involved is a part of it as well, to be a part of the huge success the lads have had over the last number of years. But thatís not the sole focus of why I do it. Itís the feeling as well of accomplishing something at training. Everyone can relate to that.

ďFrom a physical standpoint, Iím absolutely on top of that, and for this time of year, January, Iím training as hard as I can, Iíve a huge goal to make it back into Jimís plans. Iím doing everything I can, but outside of football as well, just going to the Phoenix Park for a run or a cycle, because exercise in general has been huge in my recovery, and still is.Ē

And after surviving, he says, the critical part now is to focus on the living again. ďAnd I was just surviving, by the skin of my teeth actually, and wasnít living. Only now after Iíve got the help I needed do I feel like Iím living again, and thatís why I feel Iím in a good position to impact people.

ďThere is also that sense Ďif I knew then what I know nowí. And Iím still seeing a psychologist, spaced out now to about once a month, and thatís the path weíre taking, to be the more independent, make it my own recovery. Iím not putting any pressure on myself either.

ďIt could take six months, or six years, but eventually I will get that independence back, to go on, and there will be things in the way, because thatís life. But I want to strive for excellence in mental health as well. It may not be 100 per cent every day, but I wonít stop striving for it.Ē

Shane Carthyís blog can be read here Ė

https://scarthyblog.home.blog/2018/12/19/im-no-longer-surviving-im-living/
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paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #461 on: March 14, 2019, 04:57:52 PM »
The last few months have been a struggle for myself. Lost a very close friend to the Big C and its hit harder than I thought I would and a friend lost his father to suicide last weekend.

Thankfully there has been brighter days and after a few heavy sessions of chatting and talking later the spirits have lifted.

I always like to give this thread a bump and keep it going.

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #462 on: March 14, 2019, 05:05:21 PM »
The last few months have been a struggle for myself. Lost a very close friend to the Big C and its hit harder than I thought I would and a friend lost his father to suicide last weekend.

Thankfully there has been brighter days and after a few heavy sessions of chatting and talking later the spirits have lifted.

I always like to give this thread a bump and keep it going.

Good man PJ. Itís great that you are talking to others.

tbrick18

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Re: Depression
« Reply #463 on: March 15, 2019, 11:11:45 AM »
There's no words more true than "your health is your wealth".
If something in your life is having a detrimental effect on your health, then try to change what ever that is.
Should it be job, friends, being away from home....at the end of it all the only thing that really matters is health and family.
Everything else is just fluff around the edges to make you "feel" like you've achieved something or that you are living more comfortably. That's just an illusion if it effects your health.
In the past I've been guilty of working long hours or away from home to further my career or earn more money.
Some life events gave me a different outlook, now I priortise family first. No matter what.
I recently changed jobs and at the interview stage actually said, for me family would be first and if they had an issue with that not to offer me the job. They offered me the job and I've worked around family needs ever since. It was the best thing I ever said at an interview and my life is so much better for it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, look at your priorities in life and see what's really important and decide what would de-stress you as much as possible. The money and status is not worth the stress and possible mental health problems that it can cost.

BarryBreensBandage

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Re: Depression
« Reply #464 on: May 19, 2019, 11:47:10 PM »
Very good show on BBC atm about mental health. With premier league footballers and Prince William. Should be on iplayer if missed tonight.
"Some people say I am indecisive..... maybe I am, maybe I'm not".