Author Topic: Depression  (Read 79363 times)

tintin25

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 433
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #345 on: February 17, 2018, 10:40:15 AM »
Long time lurker on this particular thread.

Have probably had stages of mild depression from time to time, generally brought about by failed relationships and comparing myself against those in my peer group.  I found that reading self-help books has helped my confidence and taught me to 'live in the moment', whilst I usually avoid/unfollow pages on Facebook and the like which would just put you in a bad mood (some of those Belfast Live and Belfast Telegraph articles are just toxic).

Thankfully I'm pretty positive at the moment and I'm now able to identify when I take a turn and how to manage it.

Rois

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3025
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #346 on: February 17, 2018, 01:54:42 PM »
Long time lurker on this particular thread.


Thankfully I'm pretty positive at the moment and I'm now able to identify when I take a turn and how to manage it.
It must be a tough enough time when you know it is coming but great that you can tell what to do now.

My colleague at work recently got married to this guy - fascinating story and one where talking to the GP really seemed to help.
http://www.the42.ie/paul-gleghorne-mental-health-hockey-interview-3379361-May2017/

johnneycool

  • Guest
Re: Depression
« Reply #347 on: February 23, 2018, 09:31:57 AM »
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.

Minder

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15034
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #348 on: February 23, 2018, 09:37:17 AM »
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.

Jesus thatís desperate JC
"When it's too tough for them, it's just right for us"

Rois

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3025
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #349 on: February 23, 2018, 09:56:43 AM »
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.
I think he's in my nephew's year at school where my sister teaches.  Absolutely devastating news and I'm sorry for you and your club JC. 
I feel so so so sad that a youngster thinks there's no way out in third year at school. 

paddyjohn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1620
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #350 on: February 23, 2018, 10:04:42 AM »
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.

Shocking news JC. Not easy for the family, club and wider community.

Dire Ear

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1100
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #351 on: February 23, 2018, 10:23:11 AM »
That's terrible. RIP young man

johnneycool

  • Guest
Re: Depression
« Reply #352 on: February 23, 2018, 10:34:15 AM »
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.
I think he's in my nephew's year at school where my sister teaches.  Absolutely devastating news and I'm sorry for you and your club JC. 
I feel so so so sad that a youngster thinks there's no way out in third year at school.

The one and the same Rois, he's a third year in OLSPK.


The Gs Man

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1858
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #353 on: February 23, 2018, 10:48:01 AM »
Terrible altogether.

Thoughts with his family and friends.
Keep 'er lit

spuds

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1459
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #354 on: February 23, 2018, 11:44:04 AM »
May he rest in peace.

Thoughts with his family and friends. Tough times ahead for all that were close to him.
"As I get older I notice the years less and the seasons more."
 John Hubbard

brokencrossbar1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8407
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #355 on: February 23, 2018, 12:07:04 PM »
 I recently read an article that more people on Northern Ireland have died from suicide since the ceasefire than ever died during the Troubles. Let that sink in. Suicide and mental health issues are dreadful and the support structure are not there. There are great groups and they provide support but they need greater government support. I actually see it getting worse in the future as young people on particular donít see a bright future and see not other option.

RIP to this young man. I remember the first person I ever knew who committed suicide did so when he was this wee mans age. It broke my heart then as a 15 year old. There is so little to say when it happens and so little comforts the family. The first few days are the whirlwind and with so many about the family kinda get through that on a wave of initial support and emotions.  After that, that is when they really need help. The Tuesday night when they look at his hurl standing in the bedroom and canít fathom why.....that is when they need support.


ThroughTheLaces

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Thatchin'
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #356 on: March 01, 2018, 10:59:15 PM »
Been part of the board now about 12/13 years. Have had a couple of different usernames, but very rarely post anymore. Always keep an eye on it and particularly this thread.

Not actually sure why I'm posting but sharing seems to help, and I suppose it's good to know if others have felt this way and how and if it has improved.

For about the last 4 years I could not honestly say I was happy. I've had the craic and not been down but just never happy. It's as if I'm just waiting for everything in life just to click into place all at once. And I know life's not like that. There are and will be challenges every single day and week, that's how it is.

But for the last 12 months or so I've been increasingly worse. I have my own small business which should run smoothly, but I do my best to hamper that. Any stress or problems from work have 100% been from my own actions. I would stay off drink, or maybe have a couple here and there, but every 6 weeks or so I'll take out and go on it for 3 or 4 days. Leading to missing work, making excuses to clients and putting myself under serious pressure.

Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts, though I know deep down it's not something I would ever do, even for the simple fact that I could not bear to do that to my family. This will sound like a complete contradiction but I know I have a good life. I have my own business, I'm relatively young and I live in a great place. Yet even though I've just written that I can't convince myself of it. I've lay in bed for days with anxiety. Afraid to leave the house. Knowing that getting a days work over me would put me back on track but just being unable to do it. The smallest of jobs or tasks can make me extremely anxious.

After confiding in a couple of close friends who both gave me the same advice I finally went to see my doctor. He was fantastic with the whole thing. I am on low dosage medication at the moment (only a few days in) and he is putting a plan in place for me. I got the same advice almost a year ago and agreed with it, but once I started to feel 'normal' again I just convinced myself I was overreacting and feeling sorry for myself. But if it's a continuing cycle (which it is) thens it's not normal, and it needs dealt with in the proper manner.

I'm a logical person and that's what scares me the most about this. None of it is rational or logical, which really frustrates me. Sometimes it does just feel like I'm feeling sorry for myself. The best metaphor I could think of is that I'm looking at Ä100 on a table wishing it was Ä1m, whereas I need to be looking at what that Ä100 could buy. I'm hoping over the next few weeks and months with the plan that I'll be happy and satisfied with my Ä100.

I'm not even sure why I've posted this but it's good to get words down and get any advice possible, particularly seeing how many people here actually have first hand experience.

Any help and advice is greatly appreciated and apologies if this seems like attention seeking or anybody feels they have to reply. Just another individual story I suppose.
The apple never falls far from the tree.

Tony Baloney

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14514
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #357 on: March 01, 2018, 11:13:40 PM »
Everything you have said makes total sense and getting it down on "paper" will help. You can still have a great life and be depressed so don't feel guilty about that - plenty of people with money and fame have been in the same boat. There is simply no substitute for sharing the load and it seems that you've done that and are on the right path. The low dosage medication is very likely to be a very long term scenario so I would advise following medical advice and continue to take it even when feeling well as it is there as a preventative measure as well as the therapeutic affect when you are feeling under the weather. Stick at it, talk to people, keep plugging away at the business and keep yourself busy and see if you can knock the binge drinking on the head and it will all help.

Jell 0 Biafra

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 982
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #358 on: March 02, 2018, 02:33:49 AM »
I've a few friends/family members who had been on medication for depression and tried to come off it once they started to feel normal, and convinced themselves they were fine (rather than it being the medication that was helping).  The depression came right back.

Do what your doctor says and stay on the medication for a good while.  If/when you and your doctor feel the time is right to come off it, do it very gradually.  If you're one one pill a day, cut it down to 3/4 for a month or two, and then 1/2 of one for another month or two, and so on.

Stopping the meds because you feel alright, and think you don't need them is a recipe for the problem to come right back.

Good luck with it.  It sounds like you're taking the right approach.

paddyjohn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1620
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #359 on: March 02, 2018, 11:50:10 AM »
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2018, 11:53:23 AM by paddyjohn »