Author Topic: Depression  (Read 76179 times)

StephenC

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 487
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #480 on: October 23, 2019, 01:41:30 PM »
Lads I work in Construction as Safety Advisor - this week is construction safety week and its obviously a big push to talk about certain topics - mental health was on Monday - do no harm sharing some bits up here I think - any info is good info around it lads - its good to talk and its not hard to ask "is everything okay"

Its something I am passionate about myself lads - easy to feel like your in a rut due to work, home life, money etc. Some info for anyone working within the construction sector, and i suppose it can be used for anyone like

Significance of issue
  • 10 people die by suicide each week in Ireland, 8 of these people will be men.
    Men working in construction and production jobs accounted for nearly half of all male deaths by suicide in the period 2008 to 2012, a new report suggests.
    An estimated 1,039 men from a construction or production background died by suicide from 2008 to 2012.

What makes construction workers vulnerable?
  • We work in roles that are isolating.
    Employment is dependent on economy.                                                                                             
    Spending large amounts of time away from family and friends.
    Chronic pain caused by manual labour.
    Stress due to time constraints, work environment & poor sleep. 
    Use of alcohol and mood-altering substances to cope.
    Stigma of mental illness encourages secrecy & isolation.

Warning Signs
  • Talking about self-harm.
    Self-criticism, self-hatred.
    Withdrawing from others.
    No hope for the future.
    Decreased productivity.
    Talking about being a burden.
    Extreme mood swings.
    Absenteeism.

Prevention tips
  • Donít ignore it Ė Speak up if youíre worried. Show your concern; that youíve noticed they are acting differently and inquire why they donít seem like themselves. 
    Respond quickly if you believe your friend/co-worker is in crisis.
 

For more information
  • If you are feeling depressed call the Aware.ie depression helpline on 1890 303 302 (seven days a week, from 10am to 10pm).
    Call the Pieta House 24-hour suicide helpline on 1800 247 247. Or, alternatively, text HELP to 51444
    Free call Samaritans 116 123.

Good on you. Thanks for sharing.

spoofer

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 13
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #481 on: November 07, 2019, 10:56:39 PM »
I don't know about all of ye but sometimes I just wonder. It's incredibly difficult to break on through this dark feeling. I'm a young guy, middle class and a well paid professional. I have seen a counsellor and psychotherapist in the last couple of years. I've stopped drinking(even though I drank f**k allin earnest), I've been swimming twice a week for months but I've started to isolate myself once again. I don't know if it's the dark evenings but I'm not replying to friends texts to go for a night out or cinema or whatever. The thought of going out with them feels me with anxiety due to guilt about having a bit of craic.I can't break this cycle!!! I think I'm doing well but then these self depreciating thoughts crops up again. My wife works extremely hard as do I and the kids are at a very difficult age however she's definitely not mixing her words one bit with me. I feel I do shit loads and sacrifice a lot but I really do get it with both barrels from her which is totally unjustified I feel. I certainly respect her a lot more. I haven't had a sleep in, in nearly 7 years and I do all I can to keep the peace. Actually a couple of my friends have stopped contacting me because I cancel arrangements a lot of the time. I've no connection to the rest of my family because they have their own shit going on and my mother only cares about her partner and when her next night out is. My children are the most important people in my life and I would cut my hands off for them. I remember how much passionate I used to be about Mayo winning Sam and such laughs and banter I'd have with the lads.Right now though its just about me surviving and I feel so alone with a wish that just someone would give me a f**king break and realise that I'm really doing my level best. My heart is in the right place all the time but at lot of those closest to me want to really make me feel as small as possible. I'm not going to give up on it as my children are so beautiful and vunerable but f**k me it's getting so hard. I know I'm my own worst enemy isolating myself but I feel so guilty 'enjoying' myself when I should be fresh and there for my kids and wife all the time.
I apologise if this sounds a little long winded and self indulgent but I just wanted to write down my thoughts and place them here in what I hope is an unassuming  and not a judging place like this forum.  :-\

BennyCake

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7317
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #482 on: November 08, 2019, 12:27:43 AM »
You and the wife seem under pressure, so maybe an hour or two set aside weekly where you can talk with no distractions. They say a walk is great because itís easier to talk while not face to face with someone. That might help clear up one or two things, or at least let each other know how you feel.

You need to do something for you as well. Pick a day and set it aside, even if only for an hour - a pint, coffee, game of pool etc.

Sometimes those doing everything right gets it in the neck more. Itís like the more you do the mores expected of you. I used to hear it said that sometimes in order to get yourself listened to, and be taken seriously is for the dinner plate to go smashy smashy. Not in a drama queen way but to let someone know things are really getting to me here. Not advocating breaking the China set but something like that is a way to maybe open a door

J70

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11976
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #483 on: November 08, 2019, 12:51:27 AM »
I don't know about all of ye but sometimes I just wonder. It's incredibly difficult to break on through this dark feeling. I'm a young guy, middle class and a well paid professional. I have seen a counsellor and psychotherapist in the last couple of years. I've stopped drinking(even though I drank f**k allin earnest), I've been swimming twice a week for months but I've started to isolate myself once again. I don't know if it's the dark evenings but I'm not replying to friends texts to go for a night out or cinema or whatever. The thought of going out with them feels me with anxiety due to guilt about having a bit of craic.I can't break this cycle!!! I think I'm doing well but then these self depreciating thoughts crops up again. My wife works extremely hard as do I and the kids are at a very difficult age however she's definitely not mixing her words one bit with me. I feel I do shit loads and sacrifice a lot but I really do get it with both barrels from her which is totally unjustified I feel. I certainly respect her a lot more. I haven't had a sleep in, in nearly 7 years and I do all I can to keep the peace. Actually a couple of my friends have stopped contacting me because I cancel arrangements a lot of the time. I've no connection to the rest of my family because they have their own shit going on and my mother only cares about her partner and when her next night out is. My children are the most important people in my life and I would cut my hands off for them. I remember how much passionate I used to be about Mayo winning Sam and such laughs and banter I'd have with the lads.Right now though its just about me surviving and I feel so alone with a wish that just someone would give me a f**king break and realise that I'm really doing my level best. My heart is in the right place all the time but at lot of those closest to me want to really make me feel as small as possible. I'm not going to give up on it as my children are so beautiful and vunerable but f**k me it's getting so hard. I know I'm my own worst enemy isolating myself but I feel so guilty 'enjoying' myself when I should be fresh and there for my kids and wife all the time.
I apologise if this sounds a little long winded and self indulgent but I just wanted to write down my thoughts and place them here in what I hope is an unassuming  and not a judging place like this forum.  :-\

Sounds like you need some kind of professional guidance (I know you said you've been to seen some) and that yourself and the wife need to be able to sit down and talk out your issues, probably also including professional help. Perhaps its not easy to confront these issues, but allowing them to fester will help no one, least of all your kids.

One of the things that really drove home to me how people can seem to have it all, yet can struggle severely inside, was reading Bruce Springsteen's autobiography. He has periodic, crippling, mental health issues that he can only deal with with the help of medication (and it took decades before he hooked up with a doctor who was able to treat him correctly). Extremely successful, famous and fabulously rich, highly respected artist, family man, but he goes through periods when he can't see any road out of the darkness. Thankfully the past decade has seriously raised the profile of and legitimized the issue of mental health. Personally, I'm fortunate in that (a so-far manageable, narrow, OCD issue aside) I'm pretty well off when it comes to mental health issues.  Good luck to you spoofer. Hopefully you'll be back roaring Mayo on before long!
« Last Edit: November 08, 2019, 12:53:01 AM by J70 »

Eamonnca1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5895
  • Catching the world in my headlights of justice
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #484 on: November 09, 2019, 10:34:23 PM »
I collapsed crying into my wife's arms this morning. It's been a rough few days at work, I've been struggling to meet the deadlines and wondering if I'm going to blow it in my new job. I've been so overwhelmed I've had no time to exercise or do anything fun. The daylight savings change has not helped. Dark and disturbing thoughts have been haunting me for the last few weeks, and last night they got so out of hand I couldn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning. My new health insurance plan kicks in next week, so I should be able to get an appointment with a counselor soon. I don't want to burden my wife with the gory details of the thoughts I can't get out of my head. She's been very supportive and understanding though. I'd be in a much worse place without her and without our sweet little 8 month-old daughter.

Armagh18

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 197
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #485 on: November 09, 2019, 11:06:25 PM »
I don't know about all of ye but sometimes I just wonder. It's incredibly difficult to break on through this dark feeling. I'm a young guy, middle class and a well paid professional. I have seen a counsellor and psychotherapist in the last couple of years. I've stopped drinking(even though I drank f**k allin earnest), I've been swimming twice a week for months but I've started to isolate myself once again. I don't know if it's the dark evenings but I'm not replying to friends texts to go for a night out or cinema or whatever. The thought of going out with them feels me with anxiety due to guilt about having a bit of craic.I can't break this cycle!!! I think I'm doing well but then these self depreciating thoughts crops up again. My wife works extremely hard as do I and the kids are at a very difficult age however she's definitely not mixing her words one bit with me. I feel I do shit loads and sacrifice a lot but I really do get it with both barrels from her which is totally unjustified I feel. I certainly respect her a lot more. I haven't had a sleep in, in nearly 7 years and I do all I can to keep the peace. Actually a couple of my friends have stopped contacting me because I cancel arrangements a lot of the time. I've no connection to the rest of my family because they have their own shit going on and my mother only cares about her partner and when her next night out is. My children are the most important people in my life and I would cut my hands off for them. I remember how much passionate I used to be about Mayo winning Sam and such laughs and banter I'd have with the lads.Right now though its just about me surviving and I feel so alone with a wish that just someone would give me a f**king break and realise that I'm really doing my level best. My heart is in the right place all the time but at lot of those closest to me want to really make me feel as small as possible. I'm not going to give up on it as my children are so beautiful and vunerable but f**k me it's getting so hard. I know I'm my own worst enemy isolating myself but I feel so guilty 'enjoying' myself when I should be fresh and there for my kids and wife all the time.
I apologise if this sounds a little long winded and self indulgent but I just wanted to write down my thoughts and place them here in what I hope is an unassuming  and not a judging place like this forum.  :-\
Fair play to ye. Keep er f**king lit and focus on all the good things you have lad.

redcard

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #486 on: November 10, 2019, 01:11:07 AM »
I don't know about all of ye but sometimes I just wonder. It's incredibly difficult to break on through this dark feeling. I'm a young guy, middle class and a well paid professional. I have seen a counsellor and psychotherapist in the last couple of years. I've stopped drinking(even though I drank f**k allin earnest), I've been swimming twice a week for months but I've started to isolate myself once again. I don't know if it's the dark evenings but I'm not replying to friends texts to go for a night out or cinema or whatever. The thought of going out with them feels me with anxiety due to guilt about having a bit of craic.I can't break this cycle!!! I think I'm doing well but then these self depreciating thoughts crops up again. My wife works extremely hard as do I and the kids are at a very difficult age however she's definitely not mixing her words one bit with me. I feel I do shit loads and sacrifice a lot but I really do get it with both barrels from her which is totally unjustified I feel. I certainly respect her a lot more. I haven't had a sleep in, in nearly 7 years and I do all I can to keep the peace. Actually a couple of my friends have stopped contacting me because I cancel arrangements a lot of the time. I've no connection to the rest of my family because they have their own shit going on and my mother only cares about her partner and when her next night out is. My children are the most important people in my life and I would cut my hands off for them. I remember how much passionate I used to be about Mayo winning Sam and such laughs and banter I'd have with the lads.Right now though its just about me surviving and I feel so alone with a wish that just someone would give me a f**king break and realise that I'm really doing my level best. My heart is in the right place all the time but at lot of those closest to me want to really make me feel as small as possible. I'm not going to give up on it as my children are so beautiful and vunerable but f**k me it's getting so hard. I know I'm my own worst enemy isolating myself but I feel so guilty 'enjoying' myself when I should be fresh and there for my kids and wife all the time.
I apologise if this sounds a little long winded and self indulgent but I just wanted to write down my thoughts and place them here in what I hope is an unassuming  and not a judging place like this forum.  :-\

Jaysus change your username. You sound like a good genuine lad whoís going through a rough time at the minute.

Fionntamhnach

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2734
  • "If I won the award for laziness, I'd send somebody to pick it up for me."
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #487 on: November 10, 2019, 01:45:27 AM »
I collapsed crying into my wife's arms this morning. It's been a rough few days at work, I've been struggling to meet the deadlines and wondering if I'm going to blow it in my new job. I've been so overwhelmed I've had no time to exercise or do anything fun. The daylight savings change has not helped. Dark and disturbing thoughts have been haunting me for the last few weeks, and last night they got so out of hand I couldn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning. My new health insurance plan kicks in next week, so I should be able to get an appointment with a counselor soon. I don't want to burden my wife with the gory details of the thoughts I can't get out of my head. She's been very supportive and understanding though. I'd be in a much worse place without her and without our sweet little 8 month-old daughter.

I've been in that position in the past myself Eamonn (except for the lack of a partner & child) and it is bloody horrible. I don't know enough about the provision of mental health services both in the medical and charitable sector in the United States (and I'd guess that a lot of it is at local or state level), but a quick search on the web gives two sites with possible support resources, which I've linked below. Even if you can't talk to a loved one or someone else you know, speaking to someone else could help. Take care.

http://www.befrienders.org/ (This is a worldwide organisation that grew out of the original Samaritans charity in Britain & Ireland)
http://www.contact-usa.org/about-lifeline-crisis-chat.html
Fighting against ignorance on the internet since 1999. It's just taking longer than I hoped.

redcard

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #488 on: November 10, 2019, 03:37:47 AM »
I collapsed crying into my wife's arms this morning. It's been a rough few days at work, I've been struggling to meet the deadlines and wondering if I'm going to blow it in my new job. I've been so overwhelmed I've had no time to exercise or do anything fun. The daylight savings change has not helped. Dark and disturbing thoughts have been haunting me for the last few weeks, and last night they got so out of hand I couldn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning. My new health insurance plan kicks in next week, so I should be able to get an appointment with a counselor soon. I don't want to burden my wife with the gory details of the thoughts I can't get out of my head. She's been very supportive and understanding though. I'd be in a much worse place without her and without our sweet little 8 month-old daughter.
Wait till I tell you Eamonca1 if you have a wife who is there to support you, has married you and went through all that for better and worse etc then to me you are honestly a great person. Why would a spouse go through that other than they see value in their husband. As for your daughter Iím sure all she sees at such a young age is such a wonderful man and father. Please view the world through their eyes and see the value you bring to her, you and your wife. You have been on this board from for a while now and I have always been interested in your comments. Your views have always been genuine.

andoireabu

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 735
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #489 on: November 10, 2019, 03:50:57 AM »
To the two lads recently with work posts and not being capable. If you aren't the top boss you are only working to make someone else rich while they give you as little as they can get away with. If this job isn't working for YOU then there will always be other jobs. I've been there with the pressure from higher ups and thinking I'm not able but every time has worked out the same. When I went to a different place with different conditions I found I was well able for the same work and even tougher stuff. Sometimes it is the place you work that is the problem and not you. And because we spend so much time at work these days it has a knock on effect on home life and relationships. My wife noticed a massive difference in me for the better when I changed to my current job. Hope you both can find a way to sort the issues
Private Cowboy: Don't shit me, man!
Private Joker: I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd!

From the Bunker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8727
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #490 on: November 10, 2019, 04:33:58 AM »
I collapsed crying into my wife's arms this morning. It's been a rough few days at work, I've been struggling to meet the deadlines and wondering if I'm going to blow it in my new job. I've been so overwhelmed I've had no time to exercise or do anything fun. The daylight savings change has not helped. Dark and disturbing thoughts have been haunting me for the last few weeks, and last night they got so out of hand I couldn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning. My new health insurance plan kicks in next week, so I should be able to get an appointment with a counselor soon. I don't want to burden my wife with the gory details of the thoughts I can't get out of my head. She's been very supportive and understanding though. I'd be in a much worse place without her and without our sweet little 8 month-old daughter.

Oh, the overbearing work deadlines. The worst of the lot. Your day (your life) becomes all about work. Presently going through one of these again and the daylight saving definitely does not help as it psychologically feels late in the day mid afternoon and a sense of panic ensues as to another day where you are chasing being productive for another day. I walked away from my job this time last year. Had a severe wobbly after a couple of 12 hour days. Despite my efforts I was falling behind instead of catching up! I called to the bosses house that night and told him I'd had had enough. Went missing for a week and  had no notion of going back. The relief I felt for that couple of days were mad. It was as if i had tossed all my cares away. Anyway, to be fair to my boss he told me to go to a doctor and get a sick note and he'd see me after two weeks. This I did! I returned to work with no one knowing of my wobbly and thinking I had been out with the flu or something. To be fair to my boss he had no idea of the pressures i was under, some of the pressures were real, some were in my head and some I still can't differentiate as to are they real or in my head.

One of the frightening factors for me is age. I am now 48. The energy levels for burning the candle at both ends have lessened. I can no longer sacrifice extra time to work without a potential health issue incurring down the line. Also Family are important and extra time spent at work means lesser or more tired time spent at home. It's no good earning money if you can't enjoy the reason you earn money.

Presently, I am not out of the woods. I have my good weeks, I have my bad weeks. But I try not to panic, not to be overwhelmed, not to over care. 




tintin25

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 433
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #491 on: November 10, 2019, 08:01:57 AM »

Currently experiencing some difficulties with a work colleague who is my senior. I'm relatively new in the role compared to the others in the department (got a promotion of sorts 2 years ago) and I'm sitting next to this particular individual so she can assist in a mentoring type capacity and so I can liaise with her as/when required. I carry out my own work and assist with her workload on occasion too. 90% of the time she is sound, but other times she is completely condescending, almost forgetting there isn't a big age gap between us (I'm mid 30s and she's early 40s). She is making me doubt myself over tasks I know how to perform (or should know how) and it's almost as if she has this expectation that I'm going to fail which is putting me completely off balance. She'll question me at times as if I haven't been doing anything, and rather than 'remind' me other times if I've forgot to do something, it's 'Why haven't you....' or 'Am I going to have to continually tell you this...' etc.  It's starting to effect my confidence and whilst I've never been an emotional/sensitive type at work before, at times I've been close to shedding a tear (pathetic as it sounds). Work in the main is good and I'm popular with staff and management alike, but this is getting to me. Thing is, I don't know whether I'm just being abit sensitive to the situation and need to brush it off, or is something underlying like anxiety?

omaghjoe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3728
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #492 on: November 10, 2019, 08:40:35 AM »
Keep the head up lads...I've never had much bother with this stuff luckily but at times I do get stressed and frustrated at times.
Some of the things i think are useful for me at least:
A Hobby, my latest one is plants.
Exercise, i dont do much but when I do even a wee bit it gives you a great mental boost
Cold showers, stimulates all your nerves
Winging, just about whatever is on your chest
Quiet time / prayer / mindfulness/ meditation.... something that settles the old head and helps you focus on what's important and what your place is in the greater good.
Have plans, small ones big ones whatever just have things your working towards.
Sleep.. I'm bad on this one but if I get my 8 hours it makes a world of difference.
Diet has a big affect on your mental state stay clear of sugar and processed shite. I tried the keto a few months back and its gives you a ton of mental energy.
Obiviously too much booze is bad but a beer or two I find to be a great relaxer.
Discipline/ Routine, puts all of these things together and stick to them.

Professional help is very important if you can get it, it made a big difference to someone I know.

Ambrose

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 245
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #493 on: November 10, 2019, 07:38:16 PM »
I collapsed crying into my wife's arms this morning. It's been a rough few days at work, I've been struggling to meet the deadlines and wondering if I'm going to blow it in my new job. I've been so overwhelmed I've had no time to exercise or do anything fun. The daylight savings change has not helped. Dark and disturbing thoughts have been haunting me for the last few weeks, and last night they got so out of hand I couldn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning. My new health insurance plan kicks in next week, so I should be able to get an appointment with a counselor soon. I don't want to burden my wife with the gory details of the thoughts I can't get out of my head. She's been very supportive and understanding though. I'd be in a much worse place without her and without our sweet little 8 month-old daughter.
Wait till I tell you Eamonca1 if you have a wife who is there to support you, has married you and went through all that for better and worse etc then to me you are honestly a great person. Why would a spouse go through that other than they see value in their husband. As for your daughter Iím sure all she sees at such a young age is such a wonderful man and father. Please view the world through their eyes and see the value you bring to her, you and your wife. You have been on this board from for a while now and I have always been interested in your comments. Your views have always been genuine.

If you can't talk to your wife then who can you talk to?

Life is going to be tough with a new baby in the house, lack of sleep etc, but you'll get so much joy from that wee girl once things settle down and before you know it there'll be another one on the way.

Don't stress over work, switch off as soon as you are out the door, it should be about work, life balance. There are other jobs out there.
You can't live off history and tradition forever

paddyjohn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1589
    • View Profile
Re: Depression
« Reply #494 on: November 11, 2019, 04:45:46 PM »
I collapsed crying into my wife's arms this morning. It's been a rough few days at work, I've been struggling to meet the deadlines and wondering if I'm going to blow it in my new job. I've been so overwhelmed I've had no time to exercise or do anything fun. The daylight savings change has not helped. Dark and disturbing thoughts have been haunting me for the last few weeks, and last night they got so out of hand I couldn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning. My new health insurance plan kicks in next week, so I should be able to get an appointment with a counselor soon. I don't want to burden my wife with the gory details of the thoughts I can't get out of my head. She's been very supportive and understanding though. I'd be in a much worse place without her and without our sweet little 8 month-old daughter.

Iíve been in that situation, but work is work and family are family. Take a step back and ask whatís important, your wife and kid or work? I had myself absolutely tortured at the turn of the year but there are always brighter days ahead. Trust me, no matter how bad things seem, nothing will lift you like the smile of your children. Iíve 2 and to be honest along with my wife theyíve saved my life.