Author Topic: Depression  (Read 79471 times)

seafoid

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Re: Depression
« Reply #405 on: November 02, 2018, 02:47:23 PM »
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/it-could-be-your-parent-a-sibling-or-colleague-that-s-making-you-ill-1.3673100?mode=amp

what characterises a healthy relationship?
It involves two people in an authentic dynamic who emotionally support each other and provide practical help, as needed. They communicate well, trust each other, are thoughtful and share healthy activities. On a basic level, you feel emotionally and physically safe. Each party is there for the joy, but also the suffering. There is mutual respect, trust and a Ďgive-and-takeí ethos. The best of you is brought out in a vibrant dynamic and you can be yourself, warts and all.

relational stress can trigger psychological ill health and aggravate existing mental-health conditions. Each person brings a unique, history, personality, set of values and communication style to the table. An unhealthy relationship can wreck your head, sap your energy and consume you so much you miss out on all the positive relations you have. Those around you become fed up hearing the details over and over again. Another serious side-effect is that prolonged exposure can chip away at your sense of worth.

A lack of respect is characterised by name calling, being overly critical of and putting down the other person. Breaches of trust, false promises, lack of communication and over-dependence are other indicators. Jealousy, possessiveness, controlling behaviours and manipulation may feature. Arguing not only impacts the duo, but those around them and high levels of conflict are linked to depression and low self-esteem.
Being bullied is a contributory factor to a plethora of physical and psychological damage. Constantly being let down by the other person, repeated negative behaviours or too much drama is emotionally draining. Negativity and moaning can have an adverse effect on your own mood. Know-it-alls, competitors, boasters and Ďall about mesí can irritate and bore.


So how can you get out of an unhealthy relationship?
It starts with you. The first step to exiting and getting into better dynamics is to work on yourself. Take stock and uncover what your vulnerabilities are. Perhaps you need to be more assertive and work on your self-esteem. Are there patterns? Identify what are your issues and what are not? Learn from it and review your selection process.
Assess if the relationship is good for you, what are you getting from it and are there any of the above symptoms present. Ask for feedback from others and explore what you are hanging on for. So many people stay in relationships that are not good for them because there is a history, or it is family, or because they fear confrontation and change.
People may endure toxicity for what they perceive is best for the children, financial reasons or the fear of being alone. Others live in the shadow hoping for change. Sadly, some people may be so worn down, their resources have diminished. It takes strength to leave, so accessing support, therapy and positive outlets can help. Write or reflect on what keeps you holding on.
Healthy boundaries involve verbal, physical and psychological layers and help keep a healthy distance and not get sucked in. Donít fake it. If talking hasnít worked or is not an option, step right back. You can connect with people on different levels from your inner circle outwards and maintain easy connections with twice-a year-lunch buddies or Christmas card people.
Lookit

paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #406 on: November 02, 2018, 07:40:40 PM »
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.

Life has a habit of kicking us in the balls sometimes but thankfully Iím in a better place to deal with it now. What Iím experiencing this week would of crippled me 5/6 years ago.

👍👍

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #407 on: November 02, 2018, 08:20:55 PM »
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.

Life has a habit of kicking us in the balls sometimes but thankfully Iím in a better place to deal with it now. What Iím experiencing this week would of crippled me 5/6 years ago.

👍👍

Good man👍👍

marty34

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Re: Depression
« Reply #408 on: November 02, 2018, 09:03:57 PM »
Good man. Every day is a new day. Live one day at a time.

STREET FIGHTER

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Re: Depression
« Reply #409 on: November 02, 2018, 09:41:26 PM »
For all the negative sh*te on the board threads like this are really refreshing.....along with the alcohol thread recently introduced....

Still some really good people out there....

Keep up the great work......the support is incredible......I'm sure its providing comfort to those who require it....

paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #410 on: November 02, 2018, 09:52:50 PM »
For all the negative sh*te on the board threads like this are really refreshing.....along with the alcohol thread recently introduced....

Still some really good people out there....

Keep up the great work......the support is incredible......I'm sure its providing comfort to those who require it....

Some bullshit and real arrogant w***ers on some threads but this youíre spot on, a lot of decent lads and ladies on the boards to help.

spoofer

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Re: Depression
« Reply #411 on: November 03, 2018, 11:15:46 AM »
For all the negative sh*te on the board threads like this are really refreshing.....along with the alcohol thread recently introduced....

Still some really good people out there....

Keep up the great work......the support is incredible......I'm sure its providing comfort to those who require it....

Some bullshit and real arrogant w***ers on some threads but this youíre spot on, a lot of decent lads and ladies on the boards to help.

I agree wholeheartedly..I know I don't contribute very much on here but everyone's thoughts and tough stories and experiences have helped me greatly. I know I'm not alone and some if not all of us have these kind of chapters in our lives at some stage. Thanks to you all so much  ;)

Rich Ricci

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Re: Depression
« Reply #412 on: November 03, 2018, 06:01:52 PM »
This thread hits home hard at present. Been struggling a lot recently all beginning with losing my job (have since found another) Then's there's the alcohol and gambling. You drink and gamble to try and help yourself but it reaches a certain stage during/after where you just feel 10x worse than you did before due to hangover and money lost. All coming to an all time low yesterday where I emptied my bank account to a grand total of 1.35 within the space of 45 mins. A kick in the balls and hit me hard this morning when i realised i had nothing to live on until Friday. I don't know whether I'm an addict because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm an addict. Either way today I realised enough was enough. Permanently excluded myself from all my online accounts and going to see the Gp on Monday.

Took a lot of comfort from reading this read. Went through many pages and seen that there were many others going through worse than me that came back out the other side stronger. Just got to take it one day at a time.

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #413 on: November 03, 2018, 06:10:44 PM »
This thread hits home hard at present. Been struggling a lot recently all beginning with losing my job (have since found another) Then's there's the alcohol and gambling. You drink and gamble to try and help yourself but it reaches a certain stage during/after where you just feel 10x worse than you did before due to hangover and money lost. All coming to an all time low yesterday where I emptied my bank account to a grand total of 1.35 within the space of 45 mins. A kick in the balls and hit me hard this morning when i realised i had nothing to live on until Friday. I don't know whether I'm an addict because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm an addict. Either way today I realised enough was enough. Permanently excluded myself from all my online accounts and going to see the Gp on Monday.

Took a lot of comfort from reading this read. Went through many pages and seen that there were many others going through worse than me that came back out the other side stronger. Just got to take it one day at a time.

Don't be too hard on yourself.....lots of us have been there and come out the other end. Online gambling is a disaster....pressing buttons not the same as taking money out of your pocket. Drink and gambling were escapism for me....dread to think what I lost....but I'm still here......have the odd football bet for a £5, occasional lucky 15.... still take a drink. Lesson I learned was if I only went out with £50 that's all I had to lose. Join a support group whether gambling anonymous or whatever.....you are not alone.....the sun will come up tomorrow.

STREET FIGHTER

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Re: Depression
« Reply #414 on: November 03, 2018, 06:29:19 PM »
This thread hits home hard at present. Been struggling a lot recently all beginning with losing my job (have since found another) Then's there's the alcohol and gambling. You drink and gamble to try and help yourself but it reaches a certain stage during/after where you just feel 10x worse than you did before due to hangover and money lost. All coming to an all time low yesterday where I emptied my bank account to a grand total of 1.35 within the space of 45 mins. A kick in the balls and hit me hard this morning when i realised i had nothing to live on until Friday. I don't know whether I'm an addict because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm an addict. Either way today I realised enough was enough. Permanently excluded myself from all my online accounts and going to see the Gp on Monday.

Took a lot of comfort from reading this read. Went through many pages and seen that there were many others going through worse than me that came back out the other side stronger. Just got to take it one day at a time.


Keep the head up.....

You've realised there is a problem which needs to be fixed....that's a great start....

A day at a time is correct.....

Don't be afraid to reach out....GP appointment a good move....

All the issues are inter twined......time to try and unravel them and move forward....

Best of luck with it all....

heganboy

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Re: Depression
« Reply #415 on: November 19, 2018, 12:48:44 PM »
Mr Lightbody, making a very personal case that the lack of an assembly in Belfast is contributing to depression and suicide

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-northern-ireland-46249365/gary-lightbody-feels-angry
Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity

Taylor

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Re: Depression
« Reply #416 on: November 19, 2018, 02:37:23 PM »
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #417 on: November 19, 2018, 04:55:10 PM »
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

I used to go running when I was angry and felt my head would explode.....a bit like Forrest Gump....just head off and see where I would end up.....it was great for getting rid of the anger. I understand your frustration about the wait to see a professional.....there are private counsellors available if you want to see someone sooner. Good man for taking the first step and best of luck.

paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #418 on: November 20, 2018, 11:06:44 AM »
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

Good luck pal. Well done on taking that first step, its the hardest thing to do.

Eamonnca1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #419 on: November 21, 2018, 12:09:17 AM »
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

Fair play to you for taking the first step. Strikes me as a bit odd that they'd keep you waiting until March though, I'd have thought counsellors would be more available than that. As Bolt said, if you feel like you can't wait that long, look up private counsellors.  Might cost a wee bit of money but it could be well spent if it helps you out this side of winter.