Author Topic: Depression  (Read 100748 times)

Eamonnca1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #390 on: October 18, 2018, 05:29:17 PM »
* bump *
 
For the benefit of Spoofer on the other thread who's been having a bit of bother. Also for the benefit of anyone who struggles at this time of year with shorter days and the imminent time-change.

Itchy

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Re: Depression
« Reply #391 on: October 18, 2018, 10:20:46 PM »
Maybe you guys can help me. A close family friend of mine suffered very severe depression 2 years ago after having her child. She ended up hospitalised. She made a decent recovery if that's the right word, drugs have been since reduced but she never went back to work or took up a hobby etc. Stuff she was advised to do. Now I can see the last weeks she is low and I'm afraid she is going backwards. She not sleeping and feeling crap all the time. The problem is she won't talk to any of us, we've tried but we get nothing back really. I know she's in a darker place but am helpless. I think she considers herself a burden on us and so doesn't talk openly to us.  Not really sure what to do or how to help.

Eamonnca1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #392 on: October 19, 2018, 12:11:59 AM »
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

Itchy

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Re: Depression
« Reply #393 on: October 19, 2018, 08:29:36 AM »
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

She goes to a Councillor, she dumped 3 or 4 of them initially as she didn't like them. However, I would say its more like she didn't like the questions they were asking. I am fairly sure she is not telling current Councillor the truth and I certainly see no evidence that Councillor is  making any progress with her.

You see there was tragedy in the family when she was a child, I am sure that's some of the root of the issue but she will never talk about it.

brokencrossbar1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #394 on: October 19, 2018, 08:42:11 AM »
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

She goes to a Councillor, she dumped 3 or 4 of them initially as she didn't like them. However, I would say its more like she didn't like the questions they were asking. I am fairly sure she is not telling current Councillor the truth and I certainly see no evidence that Councillor is  making any progress with her.

You see there was tragedy in the family when she was a child, I am sure that's some of the root of the issue but she will never talk about it.

Itchy as a family all you can do is support her. Thereís only so much you can do. She has the support structures around her and if she is dumping the counsellors as you say then she is not ready to get better. I would see if there is anyone who she can trust but she has to want to make the ch age herself. This may sound a bit cold but you canít do it for her. Provide her with the professional supports you can, mind her as best as you can but ultimately she needs to make the decision

seafoid

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Re: Depression
« Reply #395 on: October 19, 2018, 10:45:01 AM »
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

She goes to a Councillor, she dumped 3 or 4 of them initially as she didn't like them. However, I would say its more like she didn't like the questions they were asking. I am fairly sure she is not telling current Councillor the truth and I certainly see no evidence that Councillor is  making any progress with her.

You see there was tragedy in the family when she was a child, I am sure that's some of the root of the issue but she will never talk about it.


Itchy as a family all you can do is support her. Thereís only so much you can do. She has the support structures around her and if she is dumping the counsellors as you say then she is not ready to get better. I would see if there is anyone who she can trust but she has to want to make the ch age herself. This may sound a bit cold but you canít do it for her. Provide her with the professional supports you can, mind her as best as you can but ultimately she needs to make the decision


I would agree, BC. Something is probably causing it and the illness can't be fixed without addressing it. 
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spoofer

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Re: Depression
« Reply #396 on: October 31, 2018, 10:44:08 PM »
Does anyone find they have destructive behaviour which keeps the flame of depression lighting?..as in you are generally horrified by your actions but it's a choice you make to ease some mental pain ie alcohol, self harming, risky behaviour? I posted on another  forum about my relationship with alcohol and since then I've taken the step of seeing someone professionally after severe unexpected family difficulties...esp from my wife from her childhood years unfortunately(you don't need to be a heinous to figure this one out). Somebody replied to my post about pouring all alcohol in the house down the sink which was drastic but it struck a chord about where I was and metaphorically shuck me up!!
So I've started therapy and am trying so hard to change my mindset. In doing so I'm trying CBT AND mindfulness/meditation.
It's so difficult as I'm still actively experiencing negative personal and family issues. It's such a difficult mind shift to make..I would consider myself a fairly intelligent guy with strong emotional connections but I'm struggling so much to see things clearly. I know I'm baffling and ranting but my question to you boys is how do ye  feel about the connection internally with mindfullness/CBT? Is it a habit after a while or is this difficulty somewhat always there?

Jell 0 Biafra

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Re: Depression
« Reply #397 on: November 01, 2018, 12:40:28 AM »
Does anyone find they have destructive behaviour which keeps the flame of depression lighting?..as in you are generally horrified by your actions but it's a choice you make to ease some mental pain ie alcohol, self harming, risky behaviour? I posted on another  forum about my relationship with alcohol and since then I've taken the step of seeing someone professionally after severe unexpected family difficulties...esp from my wife from her childhood years unfortunately(you don't need to be a heinous to figure this one out). Somebody replied to my post about pouring all alcohol in the house down the sink which was drastic but it struck a chord about where I was and metaphorically shuck me up!!
So I've started therapy and am trying so hard to change my mindset. In doing so I'm trying CBT AND mindfulness/meditation.
It's so difficult as I'm still actively experiencing negative personal and family issues. It's such a difficult mind shift to make..I would consider myself a fairly intelligent guy with strong emotional connections but I'm struggling so much to see things clearly. I know I'm baffling and ranting but my question to you boys is how do ye  feel about the connection internally with mindfullness/CBT? Is it a habit after a while or is this difficulty somewhat always there?

I did mindfulness training in the late 90s for a panic disorder.  It was very helpful, and I do go back to it from time to time when I feel I need to.  But at first, you do need to force yourself to stick to a regimen and it can be difficult at first. But as you begin to see the benefits, you'll find yourself returning to the mindfulness techniques more instinctively.  At least, that's how it was for me back then.  Best of luck with it.

paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #398 on: November 01, 2018, 08:14:00 PM »
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

BennyHarp

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Re: Depression
« Reply #399 on: November 01, 2018, 11:40:58 PM »
I came across this today, my apologies if it has been posted before but I found it very inspiring. Especially coming from someone so young. https://diggchildrenswear.com/blogs/news/its-going-to-be-ok-my-mental-health-journey-by-sean-ohare
That was never a square ball!!

Insane Bolt

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Re: Depression
« Reply #400 on: November 02, 2018, 09:03:01 AM »
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.

Frank_The_Tank

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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience

Walter Cronc

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Re: Depression
« Reply #402 on: November 02, 2018, 02:25:16 PM »
Did anyone listen to the Joe Rogan podcast with Tyson Fury. Very interesting to hear about Fury's battle with depression.

Setting small targets and working out seemed to be his key to recovery.

seafoid

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Re: Depression
« Reply #403 on: November 02, 2018, 02:47:23 PM »
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/it-could-be-your-parent-a-sibling-or-colleague-that-s-making-you-ill-1.3673100?mode=amp

what characterises a healthy relationship?
It involves two people in an authentic dynamic who emotionally support each other and provide practical help, as needed. They communicate well, trust each other, are thoughtful and share healthy activities. On a basic level, you feel emotionally and physically safe. Each party is there for the joy, but also the suffering. There is mutual respect, trust and a Ďgive-and-takeí ethos. The best of you is brought out in a vibrant dynamic and you can be yourself, warts and all.

relational stress can trigger psychological ill health and aggravate existing mental-health conditions. Each person brings a unique, history, personality, set of values and communication style to the table. An unhealthy relationship can wreck your head, sap your energy and consume you so much you miss out on all the positive relations you have. Those around you become fed up hearing the details over and over again. Another serious side-effect is that prolonged exposure can chip away at your sense of worth.

A lack of respect is characterised by name calling, being overly critical of and putting down the other person. Breaches of trust, false promises, lack of communication and over-dependence are other indicators. Jealousy, possessiveness, controlling behaviours and manipulation may feature. Arguing not only impacts the duo, but those around them and high levels of conflict are linked to depression and low self-esteem.
Being bullied is a contributory factor to a plethora of physical and psychological damage. Constantly being let down by the other person, repeated negative behaviours or too much drama is emotionally draining. Negativity and moaning can have an adverse effect on your own mood. Know-it-alls, competitors, boasters and Ďall about mesí can irritate and bore.


So how can you get out of an unhealthy relationship?
It starts with you. The first step to exiting and getting into better dynamics is to work on yourself. Take stock and uncover what your vulnerabilities are. Perhaps you need to be more assertive and work on your self-esteem. Are there patterns? Identify what are your issues and what are not? Learn from it and review your selection process.
Assess if the relationship is good for you, what are you getting from it and are there any of the above symptoms present. Ask for feedback from others and explore what you are hanging on for. So many people stay in relationships that are not good for them because there is a history, or it is family, or because they fear confrontation and change.
People may endure toxicity for what they perceive is best for the children, financial reasons or the fear of being alone. Others live in the shadow hoping for change. Sadly, some people may be so worn down, their resources have diminished. It takes strength to leave, so accessing support, therapy and positive outlets can help. Write or reflect on what keeps you holding on.
Healthy boundaries involve verbal, physical and psychological layers and help keep a healthy distance and not get sucked in. Donít fake it. If talking hasnít worked or is not an option, step right back. You can connect with people on different levels from your inner circle outwards and maintain easy connections with twice-a year-lunch buddies or Christmas card people.
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paddyjohn

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Re: Depression
« Reply #404 on: November 02, 2018, 07:40:40 PM »
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.

Life has a habit of kicking us in the balls sometimes but thankfully Iím in a better place to deal with it now. What Iím experiencing this week would of crippled me 5/6 years ago.

👍👍