Author Topic: Depression  (Read 80336 times)

charlieTully

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Re: Depression
« Reply #165 on: December 01, 2014, 09:04:01 PM »
Not to be alarmist, but hearing voices indicated Schizophrenia?

hearing voices is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia but can happen as a result of severe depression as well, what docs term a psychotic depression or can also be caused by illicit drug misuse or alcohol withdrawal.

Banter Panther

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Re: Depression
« Reply #166 on: January 28, 2015, 01:52:22 PM »
I read this fine OP some time ago and wondered about posting myself as it might help some people if they saw a bit of honesty. Even though I would encourage anyone with depression to speak out and not feel ashamed (why should you?), I've never really applied that rule to myself. This is my second bout of depression, and I've been very private about it up until this point. Nobody really knows the FULL extent of it.

I suffered from depression over an eight month period (roughly) in 2009. Much of it arose from the passing of my grandmother. On that occasion, counselling worked wonders for me. Although unpleasant, it was a relatively mild bout in comparison to what I have felt recently.

Over the summer, I found myself working far too much. My work does not involve much variety, it's the same routine every day. I like to think of myself as a very kind person, but I received some nasty comments over my appearance (I am very small, and seemed to get them more regularly than usual over the summer, both at work and outside of work. While I imagine most people just get on with it, for some reason I took these comments to heart more than I normally would last summer. However, despite being unhappy at the hum-drum nature of my work and the comments of others, it was not until an old friend of mine took his own life this summer that it registered with me that I was depressed. I would regularly wake up at about five in the morning, and stay awake until it was time to get up for work, spending all of this time worrying irrationally, thinking about how unhappy I was with how I look and what a useless person I am in general.

After that, my relationship broke down, which compounded matters. She did not know to any extent what was going on, and I do not hold anything against her. My self-loathing became worse. I eventually opened up to my parents who were very supportive, and my doctor was very helpful. Counselling did not work this time, as I was starting to contemplate self-harm and wondering if there was any point in living.

I have had to take medication, and I am not ashamed of that. I feel it has allowed me to get on with life, see the good in things again and given me the energy to work on the very things that have brought me down. I am currently gaining some journalistic experience which is fantastic, I have done some gym work and am much happier with how I look. I have negotiated a more reasonable work schedule and rekindled friendships with people that I lost touch with over the course of my relationship, which has also been reconciled. I drink very little, and I can safely say that that has helped me a lot. I have spoken to a select few about it, which has also helped enormously.

It may seem an unusual post from someone who rarely posts here at all, but it's been on my mind since I read the OP and I wondered if it might help to share my experience with others. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how small your 'reason' for being depressed is (I do not know why there needs to be a reason at all, in fact there doesn't), there's always help and a path to take. Most reading this may not even care. But if it helps even one person, as cliched as that may sound, then I would only be delighted!  :)
'Donegal are a footballing superbug, with no obvious cure' - Joe Brolly 2013

quit yo jibbajabba

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Re: Depression
« Reply #167 on: January 28, 2015, 02:40:07 PM »
good man BP, and good luck on your journey

nrico2006

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Re: Depression
« Reply #168 on: January 28, 2015, 02:43:15 PM »
Glad things are going well for you Banther Panther, takes a lot of courage to disclose whats going on in your head. 
'To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.'

omagh_gael

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Re: Depression
« Reply #169 on: January 28, 2015, 04:49:24 PM »
Fair play to you BP. It sounds like you're getting back on track slowly, keep er lit!

magpie seanie

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Re: Depression
« Reply #170 on: January 28, 2015, 04:52:53 PM »
Good stuff and well done for posting, I enjoyed reading it. Keep her lit as the lads say.

I really think these types of problems are really widespread in society, particularly among men. Women are better at helping each other out if they think something's up. 

deiseach

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Re: Depression
« Reply #171 on: January 28, 2015, 05:13:21 PM »
Great post, BP.

Banter Panther

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Re: Depression
« Reply #172 on: January 28, 2015, 05:38:38 PM »
Thank you all very much for your kind comments. It's a horrible condition and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!
'Donegal are a footballing superbug, with no obvious cure' - Joe Brolly 2013

joemamas

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Re: Depression
« Reply #173 on: January 28, 2015, 06:31:01 PM »
BP,

Good luck with everything, stay active, Yoga may also help if you can access it.

theskull1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #174 on: January 28, 2015, 06:43:29 PM »
I think you underestimate both your bravery for putting pen to paper (so to speak) in regards to your battle and indeed the help your post may give to countless others.

Fair play to you sir
It’s a lot easier to sing karaoke than to sing opera

muppet

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Re: Depression
« Reply #175 on: January 28, 2015, 06:59:10 PM »
Well done BP and it is great to see such a post end with a positive message.

Stay well!
MWWSI 2017

Lar Naparka

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Re: Depression
« Reply #176 on: January 28, 2015, 11:11:50 PM »
I read this fine OP some time ago and wondered about posting myself as it might help some people if they saw a bit of honesty. Even though I would encourage anyone with depression to speak out and not feel ashamed (why should you?), I've never really applied that rule to myself. This is my second bout of depression, and I've been very private about it up until this point. Nobody really knows the FULL extent of it.

I suffered from depression over an eight month period (roughly) in 2009. Much of it arose from the passing of my grandmother. On that occasion, counselling worked wonders for me. Although unpleasant, it was a relatively mild bout in comparison to what I have felt recently.

Over the summer, I found myself working far too much. My work does not involve much variety, it's the same routine every day. I like to think of myself as a very kind person, but I received some nasty comments over my appearance (I am very small, and seemed to get them more regularly than usual over the summer, both at work and outside of work. While I imagine most people just get on with it, for some reason I took these comments to heart more than I normally would last summer. However, despite being unhappy at the hum-drum nature of my work and the comments of others, it was not until an old friend of mine took his own life this summer that it registered with me that I was depressed. I would regularly wake up at about five in the morning, and stay awake until it was time to get up for work, spending all of this time worrying irrationally, thinking about how unhappy I was with how I look and what a useless person I am in general.

After that, my relationship broke down, which compounded matters. She did not know to any extent what was going on, and I do not hold anything against her. My self-loathing became worse. I eventually opened up to my parents who were very supportive, and my doctor was very helpful. Counselling did not work this time, as I was starting to contemplate self-harm and wondering if there was any point in living.

I have had to take medication, and I am not ashamed of that. I feel it has allowed me to get on with life, see the good in things again and given me the energy to work on the very things that have brought me down. I am currently gaining some journalistic experience which is fantastic, I have done some gym work and am much happier with how I look. I have negotiated a more reasonable work schedule and rekindled friendships with people that I lost touch with over the course of my relationship, which has also been reconciled. I drink very little, and I can safely say that that has helped me a lot. I have spoken to a select few about it, which has also helped enormously.

It may seem an unusual post from someone who rarely posts here at all, but it's been on my mind since I read the OP and I wondered if it might help to share my experience with others. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how small your 'reason' for being depressed is (I do not know why there needs to be a reason at all, in fact there doesn't), there's always help and a path to take. Most reading this may not even care. But if it helps even one person, as cliched as that may sound, then I would only be delighted!  :)
The fact that you can look at what you have just gone through in a reasoned, dispassionate way means you are well on the road to recovery.  I bet the very fact that you have shared your traumatic experience with others has helped you get back on track again.
It may help you realise that many posters on here have had the same problem as you- it's a medical condition and like a cold or a dose of flu, it can hit anybody at any time.
I've been down the same road and was damn lucky to find my way back again so I know from my own experience that the worst is over for you when you feel able to stop running away from reality and can gather your thoughts sufficiently to write or talk openly about your innermost feelings.

Keep taking the tablets and I mean that in a serious way.
You will eventually make a full recovery. I know this from personal experience as well as what other fellow-victims have told me. I f you arre taking Lexapro or something similar, don't stop until your GP tells you- can't make that decision on your own after what you have been through.

Above all, keep the faith, as we say in Mayo. ;D
Nil Carborundum Illegitemi

macdanger2

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Re: Depression
« Reply #177 on: January 28, 2015, 11:36:15 PM »
Good post BP, takes a lot of courage to come out and talk about yourself like that.


Banter Panther

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Re: Depression
« Reply #178 on: January 29, 2015, 12:45:59 AM »
Again, I thank each and every one of you for your kind words. This is a fine thread. I've read through it a few times, and I'm astounded at just how many of you have been through this. If this is a snapshot of wider society, then I think it goes some way to showing us just how widespread it probably is. Sadly, it is still not talked about enough. Some day, that will change.

Last summer was an awful experience. I hope it is one I never have to relive. I am confident I won't have to. If you are feeling down, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's a bit sad that we still have to reiterate that, but so be it. Last summer, my sleep was constantly interrupted. When it was, my mind would force me to pass the time until work by repeating to me why I was such a bad person. My mind paralysed me. I had problems, but due to my paralysis I could not work on them. Medication has given me the leg-up I needed to work on those things, and there's no shame in that. Why should we be forced to continue on in our daily lives with a MEDICAL CONDITION that forces us to hate ourselves, a condition that takes the joy out of EVERYTHING (not a shit I could have given about last year's championship), breaks up relationships and friendships. In my case, it got to the point where I broke down in tears to my father and told him I hated myself. Why I allowed myself to suffer to that point is now beyond me.

If you are going through tough times, don't be stupid. Apply a bit of common sense. If you have a broken leg, you don't walk around on it, and you would think that person to be a f**king eejit if they did. Why would you keep going around without seeing to a broken mind?
« Last Edit: January 29, 2015, 12:47:48 AM by Banter Panther »
'Donegal are a footballing superbug, with no obvious cure' - Joe Brolly 2013

Eamonnca1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #179 on: January 29, 2015, 01:56:52 AM »
Good man, BP. Sounds like you were able to recognize the problem for the debilitating condition it is, which is a very important first step. Thanks for sharing. Everyone who shares their experience makes it easier for the next person to open up.