Jesus Wept

[Dougal Maguire]

Fans of Hugo Duncan, who can't get enough of the 'wee man from Strabane', are being offered another way to get their daily fix.

If listening to his radio show is not enough, they can listen to Uncle Hugo making sure they don't take any wrong turns while driving.

From Friday, the BBC Radio Ulster presenter's unique voice can be downloaded onto Tom Tom or Garmin SatNav devices.

Fans of Hugo can enjoy being called eejits when they take a wrong turn and being advised not to drive over the top of roundabouts among other things.

And of course, at the end of their journey they will be greeted with an hilarious "We're here! Skiddly-aye-dee-diddle-deddle-dum".

Step by step instructions on how to download Hugo's voice to SatNav devices can be found online as well as troubleshooting advice and further information.

"I go around the country and do 60,000 or 70,000 miles a year, so I nearly know every corner on the road," Hugo said.

"I was asked to get involved to be a voice for Tom Tom and Garmin and I thought I would get involved and it was great fun doing it.

"There was lots of directions I gave that couldn't be put on at all."

"You had to stick strictly to the distances and the turn rights and turn lefts, but there were a few wee things I added on myself."

He added: "It's not like me to tell people where to go, but sure at least I'm not telling anyone to get lost.

"I know a lot of people listen to the show on the road, so now they can get some extra Uncle Hugo to help them along on those long journeys. Just pretend I'm in the car with you."

[pintsofguinness]

If ever there was a reason to drive in to an oncoming lorry....

[Tony Baloney]

Read this the other day. Who exactly is this being marketed for? Anyone downloading this should have their licence revoked.

[Shamrock Shore]

Straight into the gripe for me.

[Orior]

I left school a while ago, to get meself a job
The craic is good on the building site and it earns me a couple of bob
I bought a Ford Fiesta, my pride and joy was she
If they're stopping round the border will ya flash the lights at me!

Flash the lights at me, flash the lights at me
Use the code around the border road and flash the lights at me

I paid the aul insurance, and it cost me a couple of grand
I'm now stone broke and that's no joke, I'm sure you will understand
I have no money left at all for to pay for an MOT
If they're stopping round the border will ya flash the lights at me!

Flash the lights at me, flash the lights at me
Use the code around the border road and flash the lights at me

The tyres are nearly baldy and I've got no tax at all
There's a drop of red in the diesel tank that could be my downfall
If the customs they are dippin' or the boys in blue you see
If they're stopping round the border will ya flash the lights at me!

Flash the lights at me, flash the lights at me
Use the code around the border road and flash the lights at me.

Sometimes on a Sunday to Jonesborough I would go
I might have a couple of squibs in the boot, tapes or video's
I might have a load of poteen or a drop of the duty free
If they're stopping round the border will ya flash the lights at me!

Flash the lights at me, flash the lights at me
Use the code around the border road and flash the lights at me.

We're crafty round the border, that's how we have to be
We like to get the better of the customs and the authority
Been there before we know the score, we have a simple philosophy
If things are tripe be it day or night just flash the lights at me!

Flash the lights at me, flash the lights at me
Use the code around the border road and flash the lights at me.

Flash the lights at me, flash the lights at me
Use the code around the border road and flash the lights at me.

Just use the code around the border road and FLASH THE LIGHTS AT ME!

[Seany]

I have to say I really like Uncle Hugo.  Very talented.  Fought his demons.  Ulster folk love him.  Skiddledy Ay di doo, your uncle Hugo loves you!