Mr & Mrs Robinson

[Rosie McCann]

Iris Robinson is not a sinner. She's a heroine Author Melanie Reid - Sunday Times

Everyone has missed the point about Iris Robinson. The woman is a feminist icon. Were it not for the fact that she's an arch-Protestant, she should be sanctified as St Iris, the patron saint of middle-aged women brave enough to rebel and stick it to the God-fearing men of Ulster.
Why, instead of regarding her as a sinner, we should be celebrating Iris for her modernity, her spirit, her black lacy underwear and her sheer chutzpah in breaking centuries of convention.
At its fundamentalist worst, Northern Irish Presbyterianism is up there with the Taleban when it comes to the suppression of women, although the Taleban might even have the edge when it comes to enlightenment.
The average hardline loyalist, secure in the knowledge of his own rectitude, thinks women were placed upon this Earth to support him in his struggle to keep Ulster on the straight and narrow. For him, the female sex are keepers of cleanlinesss, defenders of family respectability and child-bearing vessels of future loyalism. They go to church; they bake; at night they lie back and think of King Billy. Conjure up a vision of Ian Paisley — I know, I know — and repeat that in his accent, and you'll begin to get the feel of being a prisoner in that society.
That's why, when Iris went rogue, and introduced a plot from Sex and the City, or maybe it was Desperate Housewives, into one of the most traditional, conformist societies on this planet, it was a spectacularly brave thing to do. Shaped by the society she grew up in, she had been a dutiful mother of three, homemaker and Christian wife for the best part of 40 years. I bet she's never hung out her washing on a Sunday.
And if Peter Robinson has been forced to deny rumours that he was violent to her, and if he looks capable of being tyrannical, well, it is man's eternal fate to be misunderstood; just another hurdle for the righteous to bear on the path to salvation.
Somewhere along the line, thankfully, Iris realised that that there was more to life than Leviticus, and became a woman behaving badly. Metaphorically, she shrugged off the burka to uncover a face that deserves to be made famous. Here is a heroine for a deeply flawed middle-aged rebellion. She got glamorous. She smouldered. She took lovers — at least three, it is rumoured, and one of them was, at 19, young enough to be her grandson.
What can we say? To a woman hellbent (to coin a good Presbyterian phrase) on self-fulfilment, pleasure, escape, vanity, money, silk, satin and all things non-puritanical, having spent her best years being stifled, subordinate and holy, I'm inclined only to say: "Atta girl."
But we shouldn't underestimate the terrors of being trapped in a society like that. When her pitiful transgressions were exposed, Iris felt her only option was suicide. Meanwhile, back in the 21st century, most women in a similar predicament would have got a divorce and a new BMW, or gone on daytime telly.
To understand the full measure of Iris Robinson's iconic achievement, we need only turn to the language employed by her husband. How many women shuddered at his choice of words in the aftermath: the sense of martyrdom, the arrogance, the utter self-centredness? "I love my wife. I have always been faithful to her. In a spirit of humility and repentance, Iris sought my forgiveness," Peter Robinson said, in one of the creepiest public statements I've ever heard. "She took responsibility upon herself alone for her actions and I have forgiven her. More important, I know that she has sought and received God's forgiveness." He had set her "inappropriate behaviour", he said, "against 40 years of bringing up our children — often alone."
Not menacing at all, was he, this man-God whose wife must seek his forgiveness? As night follows day, we knew what would come next. When a woman transgresses in any antediluvian society, she is promptly dealt with by being declared insane. Well, of course there's something wrong with her, isn't there? She's defied the rules of God and Man, and therefore by rights she must be mad.
Iris, it emerged, suffered from depression. We bet she did, stuck with Mr Robinson all her life.
She described hers as a "personality-changing illness", in a statement written, no doubt, with an enforcer standing at her shoulder. And she is now said to be under "acute psychiatric care". How deliciously, vindictively, Victorian.
Actually, I much prefer to believe the rumour that Iris is bunkered down in Chamonix, trying on designer ski gear; but if it comforts her party to think she's in an asylum, then so be it.
If she has any sense she'll be using this period of enforced invisibility to get some work done — a few nips and tucks, a bit of Botox perhaps. A perfect, practical way to fill the time and be ready for the rest of her life.
And no, not one word of this column is to excuse that Iris Robinson is probably fairly ghastly in her own right. But she's ghastly in that thrilling, outrageous Sarah Palinesque way. She believes homosexuality is an abomination; and she has been less than transparent over £5,000 of start-up cash she took back from her 19-year-old lover.
In the fight for freedom, let's face it, all girls make a few mistakes. Iris Robinson is both courageous and pitiable. She was an unhappy prisoner of fundamentalist Christianity who woke up to the fact that there is, after all, only one life to enjoy. And who knows, maybe she needed the £5,000 for new shoes. After 40 years, I think she deserves them.

[Gaoth Dobhair Abu]

Thanks Glens and AQMP took 5 mins to have a read, seems straight forward enough, must be hard hearing that your father abused some of your family!

[lynchbhoy]

Iris Robinson is not a sinner. She's a heroine
Everyone has missed the point about Iris Robinson. The woman is a feminist icon. Were it not for the fact that she's an arch-Protestant, she should be sanctified as St Iris, the patron saint of middle-aged women brave enough to rebel and stick it to the God-fearing men of Ulster. ................

dont think it was the adultery and the banging of a lad just past the jailbait stage that was the problem...
the decades of hypocricy, the financial improprietary etc are more what people are agog at imo !

I am sure that loads of people wish they could get a youngster into bed when they are near pension age, or have the clout to demand money for nothing or to demand bungs and be in a position to make money at the flick of an eyelash  !
However most are not in such a position of 'power' and most wouldnt be as hypocritical about it either - berating homosexuals and their behaviour while banging your way through the lesser neanderthal looking members of the dup party !

[orangeman]

I said to wait for the backlash - it's starting :


Ian Paisley Jr asks if Gerry Adams broke Assembly rules 

Liam Adams is wanted by the PSNI over sex abuse claims
Ian Paisley Jr has asked an Assembly committee to investigate if Gerry Adams breached its rules by failing to act about his brother's alleged sex abuse.

The DUP assembly member said he had submitted "very detailed questions" to Assembly Ombudsman Tom Frawley.

Mr Frawley will assess if the complaint merits being passed to the Assembly's Committee on Standards and Privileges.

Mr Adams' brother Liam is wanted by the PSNI over claims that he sexually abused his daughter in the early 1980s.

The Sinn Fein president said he found out about the allegations levelled against his brother in 1987 and said he had brought Liam's daughter Aine Tyrell, then aged 14, to confront her father.

Mr Paisley said he had written to the committee with a list of complaints about whether Gerry Adams' "conduct and association was appropriate as a member of the Assembly".


  Although he was chair for a very short time, it was so unmemorable that I completely forgot about it

Arthur Morgan
Sinn Fein TD


Timeline: Adams' family allegations 
"I want to know if Mr Adams breached the code of conduct," he said.

Gerry Adams has faced questions about the timescale of when he informed the authorities about the allegations about his brother Liam and when he was expelled from Sinn Fein.

Mr Adams has said he moved quickly in 1997 to expel his "estranged" brother, who should "never have been allowed" to have worked as a party official in County Louth.

Louth Sinn Fein TD Arthur Morgan has previously said that although Liam Adams was a party member, he was never an officer.

However, Liam Adams did serve as chair of the party's Louth district executive for two months in the late 1990s before stepping down for personal reasons.

Mr Morgan told Thursday's Irish News that this had "slipped his mind".

"Although he was chair for a very short time, it was so unmemorable that I completely forgot about it," he told the paper.

Mr Morgan also said he had no knowledge of the allegations against Liam Adams.

[T O Hare]

I am right in saying wee Jeff will be outed at happy this weekend???

[orangeman]

I am right in saying wee Jeff will be outed at happy this weekend???

What's wee about him ?? 

[ziggysego]

I am right in saying wee Jeff will be outed at happy this weekend???

you're wrong

[T O Hare]

sorry big Jeff then is happy??

[T O Hare]

I am right in saying wee Jeff will be outed at happy this weekend???

you're wrong

I am Lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whats going on Zigg??

[Ulick]

I'm guessing it's related to this story from last year?


MPs' expenses: Jeffrey Donaldson repays £555 claimed for pay-to-view films in hotel
Jeffrey Donaldson, a Democratic Unionist MP, has repaid hundreds of pounds after charging the taxpayer for the cost of watching dozens of pay-to-view films in London hotel rooms.


By Rosa Prince, Nick Allen and Christopher Hope
Published: 7:20AM BST 04 Jul 2009
MPs' expenses: Jeffrey Donaldson repays £555 claimed for pay-to-view films in hotel
In total, Mr Donaldson submitted second home claim forms, including receipts, relating to 68 pay-to-view movies Photo: REUTERS

Mr Donaldson, 46, a married father of two, used his Commons second home allowances to pay for films in his hotel room nearly every time he travelled from Northern Ireland to the capital on parliamentary business.

In total, Mr Donaldson submitted second home claim forms, including receipts, relating to 68 pay-to-view movies.

Hotel sources confirmed that films he put on his expenses during 2004 and 2005 were in the highest price category offered to guests, covering the latest blockbusters and adult movies.

All of the expenses claims were paid in full by the House of Commons fees office.

Most of the films appeared on the hotel bills as "Room Service 2", meaning that their nature was not obvious to officials. On one occasion, the item "Room Service 2" was circled on the receipt by Mr Donaldson or staff working for him, and the word "food" written next to it, before the claim was submitted.

According to Commons rules, MPs were only allowed to claim for items "wholly, exclusively and necessarily" relating to their parliamentary duties. After being approached by The Daily Telegraph, Mr Donaldson and DUP sources confirmed that he would repay costs relating to room service, mini-bars and "entertainment" from his hotel stays, totalling £678.90.

Examination of the receipts indicates that the combined price of the 68 films he charged to the taxpayer was £555.54. During 2004 and 2005, Mr Donaldson generally stayed for two to three nights a week in London, claiming the cost of his hotels on his second home allowances.

In 2005, he purchased a flat in Greenwich, south London, with a fellow DUP MP,

Sammy Wilson, and the hotel claims stopped as he began claiming for his share of the mortgage interest payments instead.

Receipts submitted by the MP before then show that the films he claimed for ranged in price from £7.50 at the Marriot, County Hall, to £14.95 at the Renaissance Hotel, Heathrow Airport. He was billed for 30 films during his stays at the Jolly Hotel St Ermine near Westminster, Mr Donaldson's hotel of choice, at a cost of £7.95 a time. On four occasions he put the £9.95 cost of watching films at Hilton Hotels on his expenses.

At present, the films on offer which would fall into the highest price category at the Marriott are Sexy Scenes 2009, series 2, series 5 and series 7, Hotel For Dogs, Friday the 13th, Role Models and Death Race.

Asked to explain the references to "Room Service 2" on his hotel bills, Mr Donaldson's solicitor, John McBurney, said: "Clearly it is impossible to be precise in relation to each and every item. However, it would have been common practice to have used pay TV, including internet access and other media services."

In a statement issued on Friday night, the MP denied watching any content of an adult or pornographic nature, saying: "Such material was not viewed on the date alleged, or at all."

The DUP is committed to Christian values. Peter Robinson, its leader, said: "Mr Donaldson has been asked to pay back any expenses which have not been properly incurred and I understand that he intends to do so.

"In the light of his categorical denials, Mr Donaldson is clearly entitled to a presumption of innocence. If any evidence to substantiate the allegations can be provided we would of course wish to consider it."

[orangeman]

In a statement issued on Friday night, the MP denied watching any content of an adult or pornographic nature, saying: "Such material was not viewed on the date alleged, or at all."

The DUP is committed to Christian values.

Peter Robinson, its leader, said: "Mr Donaldson has been asked to pay back any expenses which have not been properly incurred and I understand that he intends to do so.

"In the light of his categorical denials, Mr Donaldson is clearly entitled to a presumption of innocence. If any evidence to substantiate the allegations can be provided we would of course wish to consider it."



Of course they are.

[Trevor Hill]

Is sleeping with a 19 year old boy the Christian thing to do these days? Then again it seems that Iris isn't the only member of the DUP parliamentary party who has a thing for young boys, allegedly. 
Will Cuckold Robinson make a come back after this 6 week period or is this the end of the Robinson affair?

[A Quinn Martin Production]

Is sleeping with a 19 year old boy the Christian thing to do these days? Then again it seems that Iris isn't the only member of the DUP parliamentary party who has a thing for young boys, allegedly. 
Will Cuckold Robinson make a come back after this 6 week period or is this the end of the Robinson affair?

I think it's going to be hard (oooo-er Matron) for Robinson to come back...unless the deal on Policing & Justice is done while he's away and he comes back and says "Nothing to do with me...it's all Iris' and Arlene's fault"??

[Shamrock Shore]

This was in yesterday's Irish Times! I can read between the lines on a few......

Should a vacancy arise at the top, the DUP's got talent . . .

NEWTON'S OPTIC: WHO ARE the front runners to succeed Peter Robinson as DUP leader, should a vacancy arise? The Irish Times takes a look at some of the candidates.

Gwendolene Gloucester MLA

Widely seen as a moderniser, Gloucester believes that a woman's place is in the kitchen but it should be a nice modern kitchen, with one of those coffee machines that froths the milk. While not a supporter of powersharing as such, she is prepared to share the secret recipes for Protestant tray-bakes.

"I see no reason why our Catholic neighbours should eat only rice crispy buns, with perhaps a few raisins thrown in on saint's days, when they could be enjoying caramel squares or even pineapple flapjacks," she told Unionist Woman's Twice-Weekly.

Gareth Heinz MP

Ultra-hardliner regarded as less hardline than the other ultra-hardliners, making him a possible soft-hardliner. Heinz is more likely to be offered the deputy leadership as part of a unity ticket, although it would be wise not to use the term "unity ticket" in his presence.

Cecil Dudds MP

Once seen as Robinson's natural successor, Dudds's star has fallen in recent years as everyone in the party gradually realises they can't stand him. However, he still commands respect as the only senior DUP figure with a degree from an actual university, rather than a mail-order Bible college in Kentucky. Dudds is also admired for his constituency work, dealing regularly with the Ulster Development Agency, the Ulster Venture Fund, the Local Venture Fund, the Ulster Funding Fund and the Red Hand Commando (surely "Regional Housing Committee"? – Ed)

Rev Colin Rally

A keen yachtsman in his younger days, Rally has long been concerned by the shortage of buoys around the coast of Co Antrim and has called on Stormont to pay for more, even if they have to be hired.

"I know the public is behind me in this campaign," he told Hello Ulster Sailor magazine. "Wherever I go, I hear people behind me saying 'rent buoys'."

Kyle Cahoots jnr

A leading scion of the Cahoots dynasty, which has dominated Northern Ireland politics for as long as anyone cares to remember, Cahoots was slightly compromised by the Seymour Apartments property scandal in which the entire town Fortabogie was accidentally demolished by a "runaway digger". Only Cahoots's own luxury holiday home survived, from the steps of which he immediately vowed to "rebuild my career". He has since conceded that, under the circumstances, this remark "might have been in poor taste".

Hamish Duckworth MP

A noted historian, linguist and political thinker, as mostly noted on his Ulster-Scots blog, Awae An' Shyte. Accused last year of watching X-rated films while naked in a hotel bedroom, Duckworth claimed it was all a misunderstanding over the meaning of "movie buff".

Pastor Edmund Pasteur

DUP science spokesman and former minister for sports and hobbies, Pastor Pasteur spends his weekends (except Sundays) censoring information panels in visitors' centres with a big orange marker. A firm opponent of the theory of gravity, he believes that everything is instead pressed down by the force of "heavenly repulsion". This week, most DUP voters would probably agree

[Trevor Hill]

Rev Colin Rally

A keen yachtsman in his younger days, Rally has long been concerned by the shortage of buoys around the coast of Co Antrim and has called on Stormont to pay for more, even if they have to be hired.

"I know the public is behind me in this campaign," he told Hello Ulster Sailor magazine. "Wherever I go, I hear people behind me saying 'rent buoys'."