Pulling an all nighter for a uni essay..

[Longshanks]

Why did I leave it til the day before hand??

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

I'm sure your not the only one to ever do it, happened to me more than once. But for the love of God stay off message boards, facebook, wikiepida, on-line news, youtube etc. until you finished. Thank fck most of these didn't exist or where limited when I was in Uni.

[Hurler on the Bitch]

Why did I leave it til the day before hand??

Look Dork! - here is my guide.

1. Is it and arts degree? (go to answer a)
2. Is it a social science degree? (go to answer b)
3. I is a scientific or philosophical degree? (go to answer c)
4. Is it a medial degree? (go to answer d)
5 Is it a law degree? (go to answer e)
6. Are you at the University of Ulster? (go to answer f)
7. Are you at Trinity? (go to answer g)

Answers:

a. Feck it! - there are only so many questions they can ask and each will be a variant of the other. Insert the line "it is incorrect to state that force is the sole arbiter of man's destiny" into the essay and - Hey Presto! The tutor will think that you are more intelligent than him and you are assured at least a 'B'...

b. Same as above but insert the words 'functionalist imperative' or 'phenomenological deficit' ..

c. Get fecking cracking mate! - however, if you deny your actual existence during the paper then you cannot be marked down as the tutor cannot prove that you sat the paper.

d. During the exam, pull the head of yourself under the table and shout "I am an Indian" - if questioned, state that you are carrying out an examination of your "biological function" and they will note that you are nuts but would make a good GP - Bingo!

e. accuse everyone in the room of plagiarism and threaten to "sue their ass off"

f. Get up on the table and pull out your middle-wicket and shout "PARTY" - at the very least you will get a bye-ball and a "C"..

g. Turn up with a long sword and demand a glass of port - it's in the statutes - if they refuse, then cut the head off the nearest student and claim it is your divine right as a nobleman to do so - it may not get you an honours degree but, perhaps, a 'pass' would be forthcoming..

[ONeill]

I wrote a Philosophy essay rightly lit and scored 66/100 in 1995.

[Tony Baloney]

I wrote a Philosophy essay rightly lit and scored 66/100 in 1995.

What percentage did you score?

[ONeill]

Erm, 66%?

[Puckoon]

I just graduated yesterday. Deadline was Friday and started writing my thesis on Wednesday morning

[brokencrossbar1]

I wrote a Philosophy essay rightly lit and scored 66/100 in 1995.

I did a similar, sat a Jurisprudence exam with half a dozen pints in me and knocked out a 67%er.  Had some laugh as I had to take a piss run at least 4 times!!!

[thebigfella]

I just graduated yesterday. Deadline was Friday and started writing my thesis on Wednesday morning

Mine took 5 days to write, got 97% and published    One of a handfull of undergrad thesis's in our department's history to be of publication standard.