Wedding presents

[cavan4ever]

A lot of people I invited to my wedding were very up front and simply said they couldn't afford to attend other people simply had holidays booked but we were very grateful for anyone that attended and we certainly didn't cover our cost or expect to. No couple should expect that but for the record Treasurer we had a champagne reception and a free bar, thanks for pointing out to me that supplying your friends and family with something for free is an extravagance and not a reward for travelling and attending our wedding and our way of helping people reduce the costs. The attitude of some people here beggars belief, our wedding was a celebration of 14years of knowing each other, of becoming a family and making that commitment of a life time together it certainly wasn't about making money and if some people find weddings a burden then don't f**cking go I doubt you would be missed.

Dinny I dont think anyone would have an issue if that's your attitude.  People can have whatever they want, it's only an issue when guests are expected to pay for it but you've made it clear you didnt.

Where has this come from that they are expected to pay for it ?

[ludermor]

A lot of people I invited to my wedding were very up front and simply said they couldn't afford to attend other people simply had holidays booked but we were very grateful for anyone that attended and we certainly didn't cover our cost or expect to. No couple should expect that but for the record Treasurer we had a champagne reception and a free bar, thanks for pointing out to me that supplying your friends and family with something for free is an extravagance and not a reward for travelling and attending our wedding and our way of helping people reduce the costs. The attitude of some people here beggars belief, our wedding was a celebration of 14years of knowing each other, of becoming a family and making that commitment of a life time together it certainly wasn't about making money and if some people find weddings a burden then don't f**cking go I doubt you would be missed.

Have you any comment about the people who reckon the cost of the big day should be covered?

[pintsofguinness]

cavan, sammy - You two are the ones saying £50 per person is on the mean side as it wuoldnt cover the cost of you being there.

[Barna Bee]

so , the next natural question is if you get invited and can't go ....do you still send a present  or some cash ...remember they went to the trouble of inviting you to thier special day . They want you there , you are a friend  or a relation etc .surely you need to send them something for the big day???

Lets say the came to your wedding and gave you a gift ?
or
They can't afford to attend ?
or
Your wedding is clashing with their plans...holidays etc
but in any case they won't be going .... do you still expect a present ?

[Treasurer]

for the record Treasurer we had a champagne reception and a free bar, thanks for pointing out to me that supplying your friends and family with something for free is an extravagance

Dinny, Dinny, Dinny, didn't I just say that I don't care what couples spend their money on and I enjoy a champagne reception as much as the next person!! I was merely poking fun at the suggestion that a present should cover the cost of having the individual at the reception.  Sorry for any offence caused.

[Doogie Browser]

so , the next natural question is if you get invited and can't go ....do you still send a present  or some cash ...remember they went to the trouble of inviting you to thier special day . They want you there , you are a friend  or a relation etc .surely you need to send them something for the big day???

Lets say the came to your wedding and gave you a gift ?
or
They can't afford to attend ?
or
Your wedding is clashing with their plans...holidays etc
but in any case they won't be going .... do you still expect a present ?

My policy is still to give the same gift regardless if I attend or not. 

[DennistheMenace]

If one of my best mates were getting married tomorrow would I think £50 in either cash or a present at the same price was cheap ? Certainly.

If I was going to say the a cousins who i'm not that friendly with or an old friend I hadn't seen in a whole, I would think £50 from me would be suffice and certainly not cheap.

[sammymaguire]

cavan, sammy - You two are the ones saying £50 per person is on the mean side as it wuoldnt cover the cost of you being there.

POG - your point is what exactly? Treasurer (one who looks after the money) you give on the basis of "whats the least we can get away with without too much embarrassment??"

[cavan4ever]

cavan, sammy - You two are the ones saying £50 per person is on the mean side as it wuoldnt cover the cost of you being there.

I never said no such thing.  Its the whinging about having to give it and maybe giving to much that i have issue with here.

[Treasurer]

so , the next natural question is if you get invited and can't go ....do you still send a present  or some cash ...remember they went to the trouble of inviting you to thier special day . They want you there , you are a friend  or a relation etc .surely you need to send them something for the big day???

Lets say the came to your wedding and gave you a gift ?
or
They can't afford to attend ?
or
Your wedding is clashing with their plans...holidays etc
but in any case they won't be going .... do you still expect a present ?

I'd most likely give a gift, the size of it again would depend on how well I knew the couple,  how flush I happen to be at the time and the reason I'm not going.

If I'm not going because it clashes with some great event (like an AI final, but it's been a while ) I'd probably give the same as if I was attending.

But if I'm not going because frankly I don't even know why I'm invited in the first place, I'd probably give a smaller token.

[Dinny Breen]

I know where you are coming from Treasurer I wasn't offended more annoyed because no-one knew it was a free bar so it was a nice surprise for people plus we laid on tea/coffee/minerals for non-drinkers as well anyhow apology accepted.

Barna Bee,

As Treasurer said.

[Treasurer]

cavan, sammy - You two are the ones saying £50 per person is on the mean side as it wuoldnt cover the cost of you being there.

POG - your point is what exactly? Treasurer (one who looks after the money) you give on the basis of "whats the least we can get away with without too much embarrassment??"

Actually Sammy I usually end up more along the lines of "what's the most I can give and still have lunch money next week"

[cavan4ever]

cavan, sammy - You two are the ones saying £50 per person is on the mean side as it wuoldnt cover the cost of you being there.

POG - your point is what exactly? Treasurer (one who looks after the money) you give on the basis of "whats the least we can get away with without too much embarrassment??"

Actually Sammy I usually end up more along the lines of "what's the most I can give and still have lunch money next week"

If thing were that bad would you not be better off staying at home and saving your money for your lunch. Weddings are expensive apart from the gift.

[Treasurer]

Actually Sammy I usually end up more along the lines of "what's the most I can give and still have lunch money next week"

If thing were that bad would you not be better off staying at home and saving your money for your lunch. Weddings are expensive apart from the gift.

Well you know what Cavan4ever, sometimes it IS that bad for some people you know.  And  yes I have turned down invitations because I just couldn't afford to go!

[pintsofguinness]

no civilised couple getting married nowadays expect their guest to pay for the wedding... please POG stop winding will ya.

cavan, sammy - You two are the ones saying £50 per person is on the mean side as it wuoldnt cover the cost of you being there.

I never said no such thing.  Its the whinging about having to give it and maybe giving to much that i have issue with here.

I'm sorry have I you two big shots mixed up with someone else or was it not yous who were saying that I was mean because £50.00 wouldnt cover the cost of me being there?