Wedding presents

[Maguire01]

Not true actually. The more people you invite, the cheaper it gets. You have fixed costs such as the wedding dress/suit/rings/dj/band etc etc etc... and the more people you invite, the more of these costs you have "covered". I've heard of people quoting the number of guests at which they would break even, and that additional invites would basically be into money-making territory. It's not really the best approach to your wedding day!

Well no, the more people you invite the dearer it gets as you've got to pay for those people's meals, wine, maybe a bigger room in the hotel etc.  What you mean is, the people you invite might give you money and you might end up breaking even.  Now, in my eyes if you are inviting people to your wedding for that reason you really need to take a look at yourself.

I couldn't agree more. And it says a lot when the (supposedly) most important day of your life comes down to this.

To clarify the first part, it does get cheaper per head when you invite more. On top of that, the more you invite, the more likely you are to cover all costs with the money you're given, and then some.

[Maguire01]

As for what to give, there are two main considerations - how close you are to the couple and what you can afford - NOT how much they're going to spend.

Nail on head.

[mournerambler]

Folks need an excuse to get out of a wedding in 2 weeks time. I dont mind buying a present, the bride to be is a lovely girl, but in her words she is "settling" and the groom is an out and out no good c*nt. Its the wifes best friend, so it needs to be a great excuse.

Tell them that your Mrs had a fling with the groom many moons ago & they'll definately not expect you to be there

[Rois]

Was round in my friend's house there this eve, and her fiancé was writing his speech and was referring to me in it. That's worth another tenner I reckon.

Same friend was trying to limit the number of people they had to ask, but the groom's parents had a long list. So they explained to the parents that they couldn't afford it, so the parents offered to help out with those additional guests.

Now one of these additional guests is flying in by helicopter. Need to find a way to convince him to fly me to Dublin if Tyrone get to the final.

[Trevor Hill]

Folks need an excuse to get out of a wedding in 2 weeks time. I dont mind buying a present, the bride to be is a lovely girl, but in her words she is "settling" and the groom is an out and out no good c*nt. Its the wifes best friend, so it needs to be a great excuse.

Tell them that your Mrs had a fling with the groom many moons ago & they'll definately not expect you to be there

Thats one of my issues, he has had more than one fling (though not with my missus) and he is a no good lazy scrounging ****.

[pintsofguinness]

Folks need an excuse to get out of a wedding in 2 weeks time. I dont mind buying a present, the bride to be is a lovely girl, but in her words she is "settling" and the groom is an out and out no good c*nt. Its the wifes best friend, so it needs to be a great excuse.

Tell them that your Mrs had a fling with the groom many moons ago & they'll definately not expect you to be there

Thats one of my issues, he has had more than one fling (though not with my missus) and he is a no good lazy scrounging ****.

Sounds like my sister's other half!

Jeeze rois yer man is writing a speech in plenty of time!

[Trevor Hill]

Why are women so gullable?

[Bogball XV]

While presents have become the accepted norm, and no doubt people who don't give presents will stand out, there is absolutely NO obligation on guests to give presents and the mention of what to give/not give on invitations is plain bad manners!

I don't agree, if you're going to spend money anyway, then why spend it on something that the recipients don't want.  Wedding lists and cash gifts are there for a reason, they make sense.

[Treasurer]

While presents have become the accepted norm, and no doubt people who don't give presents will stand out, there is absolutely NO obligation on guests to give presents and the mention of what to give/not give on invitations is plain bad manners!

I don't agree, if you're going to spend money anyway, then why spend it on something that the recipients don't want.  Wedding lists and cash gifts are there for a reason, they make sense.

I've no problem with them wanting cash, am undecided about lists, but it's bad manners to put it on the invite.   Most people will ask anyway, it's very easy let the word out that cash is the preference, but not on the invitation!

[pintsofguinness]

Why are women so gullable?

I've no idea!  I couldnt even begin to describe what an controlling, aggressive, lazy, useless little p***k this **** is. 

Men can be just as stupid though.

[Bogball XV]

While presents have become the accepted norm, and no doubt people who don't give presents will stand out, there is absolutely NO obligation on guests to give presents and the mention of what to give/not give on invitations is plain bad manners!

I don't agree, if you're going to spend money anyway, then why spend it on something that the recipients don't want.  Wedding lists and cash gifts are there for a reason, they make sense.

I've no problem with them wanting cash, am undecided about lists, but it's bad manners to put it on the invite.   Most people will ask anyway, it's very easy let the word out that cash is the preference, but not on the invitation!

fair enough

[Trevor Hill]

I normally give cash if I think that is the best option, we`ll be buying a present this time round. I was at a wedding a few years ago and the bride was overheard complaining about some of the donations. Her idea was to invite as many as possible so they would get a bigger return. I think her idea backfired.

[TacadoirArdMhacha]

Was round in my friend's house there this eve, and her fiancé was writing his speech and was referring to me in it. That's worth another tenner I reckon.

Same friend was trying to limit the number of people they had to ask, but the groom's parents had a long list. So they explained to the parents that they couldn't afford it, so the parents offered to help out with those additional guests.

Now one of these additional guests is flying in by helicopter. Need to find a way to convince him to fly me to Dublin if Tyrone get to the final.

Seriously Rois if its the third day of a festival I wouldn't give going to the football a second thought. I'd be there in a shot. Thought maybe you could tell her that you're a devout Catholic and as far as you are concerned, the minute the Mass is over, the important part of the occasion is over.

[cornerback]

Thought i'd throw my opinion into the ring here as well...

£100 is plenty as a wedding present, if your very close to them you might want to give a bit more but i doubt if the b&g would curse you if they opened the envelope with £100 in it...
At our wedding we had singles giving more than £100 (totally unexpected) & couples giving less (we knew that was all they could afford, maybe out of work or saving for their own wedding or building a house etc..) ... all presents were greatly received!!

A wedding list is a good way to go i think - we had plenty of relations asking were our wedding list was before we'd even done it!!  But it's important that there is a wide variety of presents (prices) on there... in hindsight, if anything we stayed on cheaper side & as a result (not intentional) manying relations gives us both gifts & money!  Plus on my side alone i've over 50 cousins, none of which were on the all day - it gives them the chance to get you a small gift that will be appreciated!

We didn't put the wedding list in the invitation, word get round quickly enough, nor would we ever have asked for money!!!  I think people going to weddings should know if the couple has been living together for a while money would be the best option...

[Dinny Breen]

Hmmm, as someone who just got married some interesting comments, our expectations as regards presents was simple, we were just delighted people made the effort to travel and if they gave us something great, presents we did receive were, 3 guests looked after driving the bridal party to and from the church, one guest baked the wedding cake, another guest did the hair, another the make-up etc. We didn't get flowers for the church (saved about 1500 euro) nor booklets and spent 50 quid on invitations and I designed a web-site for RSVP. Also I didn't hire out suits I bought the grooms men their suits, 3 for 250 down in Kildare in village reduced from 300 each, plus I treated myself to a nice canali suit in Louis Copelands which I will get plenty of wear out of.

But Irish people are generous to a fault and we received on average 150 euro per couple, some people didn't give us anything but we've no problem with that, it was important to us that the guests had a great time, fortunately the bride works for a multi-national drinks company and we were able to get wine at cost and other drinks. We also felt it was important that we got a good band, so foregone your traditionally wedding band and got a rock band instead and although we asked our parents did they want to invite anyone they said no it was your wedding so it was only immediate family and friends and there was about 120 people at it. The overall cost was just over 25K, we didn't borrow a cent but I worked nearly every 2nd week on-call and took as much OT as I could and we had it all paid for a week before the date.

We had a fantastic time and we think so did everyone else it was so good I might even do it again.