Wedding presents

[Hardy]

I would also say the English mentality is a bit different than the Irish but that might be me being a bit presumptious.

I don't think there is an equivalent in any other language of "flaithiúlach" (foolishly generous or extravagant) and no equivalent mentality in any other nationality I can think of. And certainly not in the English.

[The Real Laoislad]

I suppose it used to be that the brides father covered the cost. AFAIK these days that has mostly dissappeared.

Thank God, horrible tradition imo.

Agreed..
Wouldn't have anyone pay for my wedding only myself

I was at a cousins wedding a few years ago where the bride's parents paid for it.
Now, it was quite clear they were also in charge of the invitations and the band! there was only about 5 of us under 50! (bride and groom in their 20s).  The best man was only on about his third pint when he was sent out to the car to sleep it off!!!!!!!

I just cannot express or begin to explain how boring it was, most boring day of my life by a long way!!!  though I've a friend who had to go to an family wedding a few years before that and there was no drink allowed!!!!!!!!  I'm not on who thinks you need drink to enjoy yourself but f**king hell....

I find all weddings boring to be honest,I hate going to them..

[gerrykeegan]

We had 100 at our wedding and it cost a fortune by the time we finished . the rule was only people we like, had seen in the last 6 months and no one that our parents wanted to bring. About 5 minutes after we got married the recession started, with hindsight wish I had invited 250 now as according to "Wedding by Franc" the more you invite the cheaper the day.

Pints and Laois Lad : you boys should go to a wedding together, it would be funny to watch you sitting there giving out. reminds me of the two old lads in the Muppet show Waldorf and Statler

[Bogball XV]

RM, whats this obsession with "covering the costs"? Its not the guests fault they were invited.  It shouldnt be up to them to make it cheaper for the bride and groom!

I would always try and cover the cost of my dinner and wine, that should be about 50/60 in most standard southern hotels.  The norm for a couple down south is €200 and whilst herself tries to up it in certain circumstances, I have none of it.  It's very rarely that i'd stay in the hotel the wedding's in, there's normally chalets or b&b's etc that can vastly reduce that cost.
What I find most annoying is the tendency to move towards these 2 and 3 day affairs, there's no need for that imo, and tbh I've yet to stay around for that.

Oh and these stags out foreign are another joke, people have to take account of just how much the whole deal can end up costing their mates.

[Maguire01]

I'd give up to £200, going as a couple - depending on how well I know the people. But it's all about what people can afford.

Having got married recently, we were given various amounts - older couples (relatives) often around €250, with single people or those who wouldn't have as much money giving less.

A general observation - people in the south give more; from a friend who got married across the water, English people give far less, or even nothing.

The thing that drives the prices of weddings up the most is the hotel and the meal X however many guests you want. That can all be managed, imo no one needs over 100 at their wedding (if they even need 100). 

Not true actually. The more people you invite, the cheaper it gets. You have fixed costs such as the wedding dress/suit/rings/dj/band etc etc etc... and the more people you invite, the more of these costs you have "covered". I've heard of people quoting the number of guests at which they would break even, and that additional invites would basically be into money-making territory. It's not really the best approach to your wedding day!

What would you call a reasonable wedding? £40 a head?

That would be a cheap wedding! I don't think you'd get too many good wedding meals in this country for that price to be honest.

[DennistheMenace]

Always assumed as well (in Ireland at least) that the more people that attended the wedding the cheaper the costs.

[Maguire01]

Oh and these stags out foreign are another joke, people have to take account of just how much the whole deal can end up costing their mates.

Yep, stags have got really out of hand. What's wrong with a night out? Why does it have to be a weekend now? It's all putting too much pressure on some of those who aren't earning as much as others.

At the same time, depending on how foreign we're talking, a weekend stag (or hen) in a city in the UK is generally cheaper than one in the south, even after flights.

[RMDrive]

RM, whats this obsession with "covering the costs"? Its not the guests fault they were invited.  It shouldnt be up to them to make it cheaper for the bride and groom!

I would always try and cover the cost of my dinner and wine, that should be about 50/60 in most standard southern hotels.  The norm for a couple down south is €200 and whilst herself tries to up it in certain circumstances, I have none of it.  It's very rarely that i'd stay in the hotel the wedding's in, there's normally chalets or b&b's etc that can vastly reduce that cost.
What I find most annoying is the tendency to move towards these 2 and 3 day affairs, there's no need for that imo, and tbh I've yet to stay around for that.

Oh and these stags out foreign are another joke, people have to take account of just how much the whole deal can end up costing their mates.

Couldn't agree more. The whole "next day" thing is just an opportunity for the bride and groom to get drunk (which it's virtually impossible to do on your wedding day) and for you to be bored with pictures that a crazy aunt has somehow managed to get developed on a Sunday morning.

[pintsofguinness]

Not true actually. The more people you invite, the cheaper it gets. You have fixed costs such as the wedding dress/suit/rings/dj/band etc etc etc... and the more people you invite, the more of these costs you have "covered". I've heard of people quoting the number of guests at which they would break even, and that additional invites would basically be into money-making territory. It's not really the best approach to your wedding day!

Well no, the more people you invite the dearer it gets as you've got to pay for those people's meals, wine, maybe a bigger room in the hotel etc.  What you mean is, the people you invite might give you money and you might end up breaking even.  Now, in my eyes if you are inviting people to your wedding for that reason you really need to take a look at yourself.

Question for you boys saying you'd cover the cost of your meal, if the wedding was in the local pub or GAA hall would you give less as the meal won't be as expensive?   

[RMDrive]

Not true actually. The more people you invite, the cheaper it gets. You have fixed costs such as the wedding dress/suit/rings/dj/band etc etc etc... and the more people you invite, the more of these costs you have "covered". I've heard of people quoting the number of guests at which they would break even, and that additional invites would basically be into money-making territory. It's not really the best approach to your wedding day!

Well no, the more people you invite the dearer it gets as you've got to pay for those people's meals, wine, maybe a bigger room in the hotel etc.  What you mean is, the people you invite might give you money and you might end up breaking even.  Now, in my eyes if you are inviting people to your wedding for that reason you really need to take a look at yourself.

Question for you boys saying you'd cover the cost of your meal, if the wedding was in the local pub or GAA hall would you give less as the meal won't be as expensive?   

I'd say it would depend on what the meal was like but yeah, I think the present should broadly tally with the cost they are incurring.

[Trevor Hill]

Folks need an excuse to get out of a wedding in 2 weeks time. I dont mind buying a present, the bride to be is a lovely girl, but in her words she is "settling" and the groom is an out and out no good c*nt. Its the wifes best friend, so it needs to be a great excuse.

[DennistheMenace]

Folks need an excuse to get out of a wedding in 2 weeks time. I dont mind buying a present, the bride to be is a lovely girl, but in her words she is "settling" and the groom is an out and out no good c*nt. Its the wifes best friend, so it needs to be a great excuse.

Swine flu.

[pintsofguinness]

Folks need an excuse to get out of a wedding in 2 weeks time. I dont mind buying a present, the bride to be is a lovely girl, but in her words she is "settling" and the groom is an out and out no good c*nt. Its the wifes best friend, so it needs to be a great excuse.

Ha ha

You'll be going!

[Trevor Hill]

Swine flu.

That will be my last resort.

Ha ha

You'll be going!

I sincerely hope not.

[Treasurer]

What many couples getting married seem to forget is that that it's the guests that honour the b&g with their presence, not the guests who should be honoured to be asked! While presents have become the accepted norm, and no doubt people who don't give presents will stand out, there is absolutely NO obligation on guests to give presents and the mention of what to give/not give on invitations is plain bad manners!

As for what to give, there are two main considerations - how close you are to the couple and what you can afford - NOT how much they're going to spend.