Corny One for Friday

[Billys Boots]

The Talking Centipede   

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.  So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.  After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use as his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.   So he asked the centipede in the box,  "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet.  This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again,  "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"  But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.  The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.  This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted,  "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"

This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time!  I'm putting my shoes on!"

[ballinaman]

Sent away for a hearing aid back in June....still haven't heard anything back....

[Forever Green]

A little boy goes into his kitchen one day and says to his mum "Mum, Granny's got a prawn"
"What on earth do you mean?" the mother says.

The boy takes his mother and show her his granny, stark naked sleep on the sofa. He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says " Look granny's got a prawn!"

His mother whispers "That's your grandmothers clitoris son!"

To which the little boy replies......."Well it tastes like a prawn!

[Up The Middle]

A little boy goes into his kitchen one day and says to his mum "Mum, Granny's got a prawn"
"What on earth do you mean?" the mother says.

The boy takes his mother and show her his granny, stark naked sleep on the sofa. He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says " Look granny's got a prawn!"

His mother whispers "That's your grandmothers clitoris son!"

To which the little boy replies......."Well it tastes like a prawn!

I just threw up a bit you sick wh ore

[ballinaman]

Get your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

[southdown]

Euro 2012 draw:

Ireland got Italy, Portugal and Greece.

Its been called the group of debt.

[Orior]

According to a recent survey, 1 in 3 children now emails, or in some other way electronically communicates, his or her Christmas wishes to Santa.

Apparently none of these services work unless you have both cookies and milk enabled on your browser.

[gerrykeegan]

I was down the gym this morning when I noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in. Anyway, she's now made a formal complaint and I'm barred for life.

[Windmill abu]

Taken straight from Sickipedia




"Can you tie a knot?"

"I cannot."

"So you can knot?"

"No, I cannot knot."

"Not knot?"

"Who's there?"

"f**k off!"

[Orior]

Windmill Abu,

Thanks for that, knottttttttttttttt!

[5 Sams]

[5 Sams]

Type the following words into google...


what defines an english person

[ThroughTheLaces]

Type the following words into google...


what defines an english person

deadly!

[stephenite]

Type the following words into google...


what defines an english person

[haze]

Type the following words into google...


what defines an english person

quality!