I can't believe it's not another soccer thread!

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Well it probably is but sure why not, one more won't make much difference 

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"Soccer is the only sport (sic) where you can tune in to the middle of a match, watch for 30 seconds and not have any idea which direction each team is going."

- Vijay Ramanujan
"Soccer is like 90 minutes of foreplay, [f]ollowed by two weeks of, 'Wow, that was almost good sex.'"

- Paul M. Parks
"Soccer is like needing to get a boil lanced on your anal sphincter but the doctor tells you that you are allergic to the anesthetic. You'll do anything just to get it over."

- David Barnes
"If I'd just paid money to watch a soccer game, I'd want to kill someone too (once the buzz wore off and I realized where I was, because the only thing that would make me pay to watch a soccer game is perhaps a half gallon of whiskey)."

- Tom O'Brien
"The human body has arms, hands, shoulders, and a brain - why can't you incorporate these into your sport (sic) of soccer?"

- John Leinaweaver
"There's no honor in soccer"

- Alex Lalas, soccer participant
"Message to all rioters: put down your brick, put away the spray paint, and leave the cop cars alone; you're acting like soccer fans! It's embarrassing."

- Jim Rome
"All that proves is that most of the world is too poor to build bowling alleys, golf courses, tennis courts and baseball fields. There's hundreds of millions of poor people out there who still ain't got indoor plumbing, but that don't mean there's something great about an outhouse. Soccer is boring. I've never seen a more boring sport (sic)."

- Mike Royko
"Twenty-one guys stand around and one guy does a tap dance with the ball."  

- Jim Murray
"What is the World Cup anyway? Some kind of athletic protector for the planet?"

- Bill Edwards
"Why is it that in professional soccer the player who is gravely injured and gets carried off the pitch (sic) on a stretcher is back in the game in less than five minutes?"

- Randy van der Woning
"He's not Rivaldo, he's revolting."

- Don Cherry
"No, soccer is dull as dishwater and just because it stops camel traffic in Saudi Arabia doesn't mean we have to fall in line."

- Robert Tychkowski
"It was with a homosexual, I was barely 14 years old. But let's be fair, I wasn't the only one who did it. He was a man in Bauru that all our team visited."

- Pele, soccer participant, on losing his virginity
"The score is Sunderland nil (zero), Leicester nil (zero), the temperature is nil (32 degrees) and the entertainment value is not much above nil (zero)"

- Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live
"If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi"

- Lewis Grizzard

[The Real Laoislad]

Why is there two Aussie Rules players in that photo 

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[Main Street]

Not a spoof
Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland has spent £10,000 getting his new car resprayed after his team-mates picked on him for the original red colour scheme. Ireland, who is more accustomed to jibes about baldness and fake grandparents, bowed to peer pressure and got his £100,000 Audi R8 repainted in City colours.

Or maybe it was just to match his hoodie and baseball cap

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[Gabriel_Hurl]

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Not a spoof
Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland has spent £10,000 getting his new car resprayed after his team-mates picked on him for the original red colour scheme. Ireland, who is more accustomed to jibes about baldness and fake grandparents, bowed to peer pressure and got his £100,000 Audi R8 repainted in City colours.

Or maybe it was just to match his hoodie and baseball cap

F*ck me there's something badly a miss with that young fella.