Great Phrases

[mrsandman]

He had a face like a sandblasted tomato

She had a fanny like a busted slipper

And last but not least...

Confucius Say:
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Virginity like
bubble, one p***k, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in
front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in
pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give
wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one
chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass
should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not
determine who is right, war determine who is
left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put
husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with
wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails
to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on
toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in
glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in
other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator
smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[boojangles]

Another version of a man who was sweating heavily:

"Jaysus I was sweatin like a dyslexic on Countdown"

'I was sweating like a rapist"

[longball]

To someone of a very light stature: (ie Yossi Beyanoun ofa Liverpool FC)

'The one eye would do him'

[DrinkingHarp]

Opinions are like a$$holes everyone has one

If it wasn't for bad luck he/she wouldn't have any luck at all

To a fat man:
the only way you can see your willy is to stand in front of a mirror

A butter faced lady:
everything about that lady is fine but her face

[longball]

affirmative- 'does a bear shit in the woods' or 'is a fat baby funky'

hes nervous- 'hes shaking like a shitting dog'

shes giving me a funny look:-
'she looked at me like i came into her house on christmas morning and pissed on her kids'- (Peter Kay)

[longball]

working like a black 

[longball]

If ya cant lift her dont shift her

[Tyrones own]

'The one eye would do him'

That was a common one for prods around are way growing up

Ass, Gas or Grass...no one rides for free

[Roger]

About a well used woman > "It'd be like throwing a sausage up Royal Avenue".

About an ugly woman > "It's like her face has been set on fire and put out with hatchets".

[Derry Dolly]

affirmative- 'does a bear shit in the woods' or 'is a fat baby funky'

hes nervous- 'hes shaking like a shitting dog'

shes giving me a funny look:-
'she looked at me like i came into her house on christmas morning and pissed on her kids'- (Peter Kay)

[/b]

just laughed out loud in wrk 

[longball]

affirmative- 'does a bear shit in the woods' or 'is a fat baby funky'

hes nervous- 'hes shaking like a shitting dog'

shes giving me a funny look:-
'she looked at me like i came into her house on christmas morning and pissed on her kids'- (Peter Kay)

[/b]

just laughed out loud in wrk 

Glad i gave u a chuckle Dolly

[maggie]

said to a driver when you are trying to get somewhere in a hurry.
"drive her like you are late for mass"

said to someone who is driving you mental.
"you're for the lead"

[5 Sams]

Said in male company when discussing a lady of rather large proportions:

"She'd walk away from a quare shite".

[Roger]

About someone who is tightfisted:  "He wouldn't give ye the skin of his shite"

About someone who passed away in the night: "He woke up dead".

[laceer]

He'd take the eye out of your head and come back and pish in the hole