BBC Sports Quotes of the year

[Puckoon]

Not sure if anyone reads these weekly - but this is part one of a two part special of the best sports quotes of the year - some pearls.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7147556.stm


I used to milk 100 cows six days a week, and then go to a place like Newbridge, in Wales, on a wet Wednesday night and have my head kicked in. It was a tough apprenticeship, but you know what? I miss those days."
New England rugby union captain Phil Vickery reminisces about the good ol' days.

"It's a bit like Amsterdam. They look great in the window, but it's different when you go inside."
Comic Bob Mills debates the perils of football's transfer window.


Is Scotland that way?
"I didn't know it was the home of golf. I thought the home of golf was where I was from."
Boo Weekley with his verdict on St Andrews. Weekley hails from Milton in Florida. His nickname comes from Yogi Bear's sidekick, Boo Boo Bear.

"All through the match I just wasn't there, I didn't perform. I played like a fish!"
Mark Williams misses out on a plaice in the second round of the World Snooker Championship after losing to Joe Swail.

"Some players have psychologists, some have sportologists - I smoke."
US Open winner Angel Cabrera.

"I felt the rear end go down, selected first gear and thought I saw the lolly move."
Lewis Hamilton on jumping the gun during a pit stop at Silverstone. At least we think that's what he was talking about.

"Sometimes on a day off I go to the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game and it's like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars - it's like a disco!"
Cesc Fabregas reveals his Homer Simpson fitness philosophy.

"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder ahead of the clash with the New York Giants at Wembley. Americans - gotta love 'em.


Earl shows Khan who's the boss

"It is nice to be recognised for actually achieving something in life as opposed to spending seven weeks in a house on TV with a load of other muppets."
British cyclist Bradley Wiggins has a pop at Big Brother after finishing fourth in the Tour de France prologue.

"I swear on my mother's life, my late mother's life."
Alex Higgins being interviewed by Stephen Nolan on BBC Northern Ireland.

"99% of the letters and e-mails are supporting us and that's not bad. That's as good as Saddam Hussein did and he was fiddling the figures."
Ken Bates after winning his battle to retain control at Leeds United.

"I put the tape in and we all found ourselves watching He-Man Masters of the Universe."
Former world snooker champion Joe Johnson finally decides to watch a re-run of his 1986 triumph on video and finds his kids have taped over it.

"He hit me below the belt, south of the border, south of the equator, everywhere you can imagine. What a filthy fighter."
Alex Arthur reveals his displeasure at the tactics of Koba Gogoladze after knocking out the Georgian during their super featherweight clash.

"I was made to stand on a chair and sing Lulu's 'Shout' to the lads as part of the initiation... it was only after I'd finished - and they'd stopped laughing - that I found out I was the only new player to do it."
Bristol City new boy Lee Trundle is singing from a different hymn sheet to the rest of his team-mates.


Terry or Cudicini - who's your favourite?
"He will find out the hard way on his birthday that he has got a present he never wanted.''
Graham Earl vows to wish Amir Khan an unhappy 21st birthday ahead of their fight in December. Earl was knocked out after 72 seconds.

"You can compare us at the moment to a bit of soft porn - there is an awful lot of foreplay and not a lot going on in the box."
Rochdale manager Keith Hill reflects on their 2-1 home defeat by Stockport.

"Dad's tiny - his passport picture is a full-length shot. He looks like he just hopped off a key ring. Mum is a different matter, she's a bit of a handful to say the least. I love her more than anyone on this Earth. But she's a monster."
Boxer Ricky Hatton lavishes praise on his parents.

He's got quite a bit of rhythm to him but you ought to see me on the dance floor in Manchester on a Saturday night with 12 pints of Guinness inside me - he doesn't even come close."
Hatton poo-poos Floyd Mayweather's appearance on Dancing With The Stars.


FOOTBALL FUNNIES
"I reckon he left the club in a much better state than when he took over."
Text message to BBC Five Live after Leroy Rosenior lasts just 10 minutes as Torquay manager.

"Up front we played like world beaters - at the back it was more like panel beaters."
Wigan manager Paul Jewell on a 3-3 draw with Spurs.

"I look forward to taking the club into a new era."
Comment from new Luton chairman David Pinkney in April - the club went in administration, were hit by a raft of FA charges and docked 10 points in November.

"I am not the 'Special One'. I'm the normal one. But my wife says I am special. What am I like? I am 180cm."
New Chelsea manager Avram Grant has them rolling in the aisles in his first press conference.


View of a T-shirt in honour of Mourinho
"Lampsy, I reckon. The girls like him a little bit. If I was that way I'd see something in him."
Chelsea captain John Terry when asked by the club's TV station to name the best-looking player in the squad.

"There's a few ugly ones. Carlo is probably the best looking."
Lampard plumps for Carlo Cudicini.

"I didn't know it was against the rules."
Cabofriense defender Cleberson after being booked for kissing the referee during a 3-1 defeat by Botafogo at the Maracana.

"I feel OK. The only difference is in training you have the press - and they want to come back home and sleep with you."
Barcelona striker Thierry Henry on his intimate relationship with the Spanish hacks.

"Well I'm the Prince and I'm sort of slaying a dragon - which is something I've never done before, obviously."
David Beckham on his role in Disney's Dream Portrait ads.

"These so-called big stars are people we are supposed to be looking up to. Well they are weak and soft. If they don't want to come because their wife wants to go shopping in London, it's a sad state of affairs."
Sunderland boss Roy Keane says what he thinks - just for a change.

"I had 18 players at Brentford and 20 at MK Dons, but when you see all the players run out at training here it's like a scene from Zulu!"
Martin Allen compares the size of his Leicester squad to the Michael Caine epic...not a lot of people knew that.

"There's more chance of me flying Concorde to the moon blindfolded than there is of you taking Wales to the World Cup."
What Robbie Savage reportedly told Wales manager John Toshack. At least he's not bitter.

"I'll bounce back - I'm not one to lie on a beach."
Former England manager Steve McClaren, shortly before jetting off for a break in Barbados.



JOSE MOURINHO

Wiggins is no muppet
"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away."
Jose Mourinho uses his post-FA Cup final speech to reassure the population that his runaway Yorkie has left the country.

"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
Mourinho was desperate for Chelsea to scramble a win from somewhere.

"I would love to gather all the fans together to say goodbye but they would crush me with their love."
Jose is as modest as ever on leaving Stamford Bridge.


IAN HOLLOWAY
"I think the Bosman thing is a pile of donkey dung."
BBC Sport columnist Ian Holloway, the former Plymouth manager, after learning midfielder Tony Capaldi was considering his future.

"If I'd have been one of their fans I'd have hit him with a bottle myself."
Holloway after an over-the-top goal celebration by Pilgrims player Hasney Aljofree led to bottles being thrown by Peterborough fans.

"I love the big man, absolutely brilliant. Some of the films were a bit dodgy. That one where he was diving off a cliff, he climbed back up to the top, his hair was immaculate and he wasn't even wet... and for me that's why he's the King.
All shook up over Elvis.


There's only one Ian Holloway - with Leicester chairman Milan Mandaric
"It's still in my body and I'll have to pass it at sometime but my passing's absolutely diabolical. That's what I told the doctor: "What chance have I got of passing anything - did you see me play?!"
Holloway speaks about his kidney stone.

"If we're talking lookalikes he's Toad of Toad Hall, isn't he?"
On new Chelsea boss Avram Grant.

"I was never tempted to become a punk. I was Sidney Serious, I was into George Benson. I was smooth. Smooth as a cashmere codpiece."
His take on punk, after the Sex Pistols announced a UK tour.

"If that was a penalty, I might as well call myself Alec McJockstrap, and put on a kilt."
Holloway, now with Leicester City, on a dodgy penalty decision.

[Silky]

Good thread.

[Square Ball]

read them every week, Holloway is a god for quotes