Best ever Country & Western Song titles

[J70]

"I never went to bed with an ugly woman but I sure woke up with a few!"


I serve my time loosing track of the wine
Looking through red eyes that's blue
Holding on till the very last song
Trying to make up my mind who to choose

Chasing a dream in a whiskey world
Down the neon avenue
To I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few

Ain't it funny how the liquor and the flicker of a candle
Makes you see it from a different view
Oh I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few

I've made more than one morning laying there groaning
Crying Lord what did I do
A-hanging my head as I slipped from the bed
Trying hard not to leave any clues

When I start out the evening I'm being selective
But I'll take anything after two
Oh I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few

[muppet]

"Please Lord don't let the Arse get Messi" - by Tony Fearon

[deiseach]

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven & Your Buns In The Bed by Kinky Friedman

You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Early every morning you're out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your maiden form for lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.

Every single brakeman that's ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin' him that he's wrong.
Eve said to adam, ¡°here's an apple you horse¡±
And delilah defoliated samson's moss.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.

So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can't love a male chauvinist
You'd better cross me off your shopping list.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

[JUst retired]

 Take this job and shove it...........J.Paycheck.

First redneck on the internet........Cletus t. Judd

Tequila makes her clothes fall off...Trace Lawrence.

I`ll never smoke weed with Willie again....Toby Keith

Cowboys are frequently fond of each other....Willie Nelson

You`ll never get out of this world alive...Hank Williams