what would you do?

[Handy]

I'd love to know your definition of spanked?

its very simple if the intention is to improve the child it's a spanking anything else is abuse .
When should it stop
when the child is old enough to make a fight of it. you are getting into a whole other realm when that starts to happen

So just hit them when they are unable to fight back - is that not bullying?

[Handy]

Disagree - there is a big huge line in the sand that most right minded people have no problems about not crossing. Physical discipline is in decline at the same time that kids are running riot.

You are right in that kids are running riot due to lack of discipline, but unfortunatley many parents equate discipline to slapping / smacking.  Smacking is the easiest short, sharp, shock method, however alternative discipine such as verbal discipline, removal of privileges, teaching right from wrong, etc  requires patience, thought and perseverence  on the part of the parents many of whom this is beyond.

A voice of sanity at last; it's interesting how the old blood is thicker than water theme is prevalent here, A lot of posters are saying they got really badly punished as a child but the old da or ma is elderly now and sure it was a long time ago.  That maybe fair enough but as a 4 or 5 year old getting lumps tore out him/her a child doesn't think, this will make a man/woman out of me, sure I'm learning my lesson now for that inappropriate behaviour, no - the child is scared and afraid, what message does society portray when the legal guardian of a child will physically hit them – probably that it's ok to hit when things aren't going your way - as I said it's all a slippery slope.

[his holiness nb]

Theres better methods than a smack. But a light tap on the legs can be effective and has no long term effects on the child, and cant be compared with what this sc**bag did.

[Handy]

Theres better methods than a smack. But a light tap on the legs can be effective and has no long term effects on the child, and cant be compared with what this sc**bag did.

That is very true, but will a light tap on the legs work for a 5 year old or an 8 year old - I doubt it - so what do you do - slap harder?  That's my point it's a slippery slope, if you can bring your kids up so that reason and logic can work and you lead by example, physical punishment shouldn't have to be a part of a childs life.

[haveaharp]

Here is another scenario - a 15 year old spide is breaking into your car/house whatever, you take action, is it child abuse ?

[his holiness nb]

That is very true, but will a light tap on the legs work for a 5 year old or an 8 year old - I doubt it - so what do you do - slap harder? 

No, you dont.

Thats the thing, not all slapping is bullying and abuse. If a light tap doesnt work, another non physical method should be employed, as opposed to upping the physicality.

If you do this, I dont think the initial light tap can be seen as bullying or abuse.

[Handy]

Here is another scenario - a 15 year old spide is breaking into your car/house whatever, you take action, is it child abuse ?

That is a criminal action, you'd call the police, hardly relevant to disciplining a child /toddler by means of phyicial force!

[Handy]

That is very true, but will a light tap on the legs work for a 5 year old or an 8 year old - I doubt it - so what do you do - slap harder? 

No, you dont.

Thats the thing, not all slapping is bullying and abuse. If a light tap doesnt work, another non physical method should be employed, as opposed to upping the physicality.

If you do this, I dont think the initial light tap can be seen as bullying or abuse.

Agree with most of your post, a light tap couldn't be construed as bullying or abuse agreed, it's the definition of slapping in the context of a child/toddler that abhores me, if that is a light tap sobeit but I doubt that is the case for the majority of people who say they slap their child/toddler.

[haveaharp]

Here is another scenario - a 15 year old spide is breaking into your car/house whatever, you take action, is it child abuse ?

That is a criminal action, you'd call the police, hardly relevant to disciplining a child /toddler by means of phyicial force!

The 15year old is technically a child (you'd call the police - have you tried that lately) lol

[Handy]

Here is another scenario - a 15 year old spide is breaking into your car/house whatever, you take action, is it child abuse ?

That is a criminal action, you'd call the police, hardly relevant to disciplining a child /toddler by means of phyicial force!

The 15year old is technically a child (you'd call the police - have you tried that lately) lol

So what - I don't get your point, a criminal act is taking place the perpetrator is 15 - what has this to do with a parent disciplining a child/toddler?

[haveaharp]

Here is another scenario - a 15 year old spide is breaking into your car/house whatever, you take action, is it child abuse ?

That is a criminal action, you'd call the police, hardly relevant to disciplining a child /toddler by means of phyicial force!

The 15year old is technically a child (you'd call the police - have you tried that lately) lol

So what - I don't get your point, a criminal act is taking place the perpetrator is 15 - what has this to do with a parent disciplining a child/toddler?

The point is when is it reasonable to thump a child whether its your child or not, criminal act or not. You see i don't believe its as black and white as some on here would make out.

[Hardy]

No - it's more black and blue.

[Billys Boots]

But a light tap on the legs can be effective and has no long term effects on the child.

Is it not giving a message (to the child) that 'violence' (or effecting a position of physical superiority) is an acceptable means to an end?