Hurling explained

[flantheman82]

A great piece written by a Meathman about hurling....

"Coming from Meath, I don't know much about any sport other than football. I've seen handball once. I've heard there's a game called 'rounders' and I'm even told that there's a women's version of gaelic football, where they're allowed to pick the ball off the ground and a point is worth three goals. But all I knew, until recently, about the other sport administered by the GAA was that it involves the use of weapons and that only Kilkenny, Tipperary and Cork are allowed to play it. (For the information of football people, Kilkenny, apparently, is a county in Leinster).

I've never met people from Kilkenny or Tipperary because those places are very far in off the main roads, so the only hurling fans I've ever met were from Cork. (I can understand why Cork people follow hurling, because I've seen their football teams). Anyway, these people told me without being  asked) that hurling is "de fastest field game in de world (boy)" and "de most skilful sport of 'em all (like)". So I decided that I should plug this gap in my education and rented a few tapes of big matches to try and figure out how hurling works. I was immediately surprised to find out that, unlike most field games, hurling doesn't involve the use of a ball. Look as closely as you like at any game of hurling and you'll see no ball. At first, I thought the ball must be too small and travelling at too great a speed to be visible to the naked, non-Corkonian, Kilkennian or Tipperarian eye. But I quickly  realised that hurling is, in fact, a stick-breaking competition, in which the object of the game is to break your weapon, a thick ash stick, either against your opponent's stick (like the reverse of the principle of conkers) or, failing that, against his limbs, torso, head etc.

While the weapon remains unbroken, it is used to weaken the opponent's resistance and thus make it easier to chase him down and improve your chances of a successful break.  The stick is called a hurley and there are three parts to it - the warhead, which is the heavy end of the weapon, usually reinforced with steel bands. It is used for cudgelling, bludgeoning and inflicting contusions, concussion and localised damage to the head and body of the opponent; - the blade this is the sharpened, curved part of the device, just above the warhead area, which is effective in slicing through fleshy tissue and in routine amputation applications; - the butt, which is the stabbing end of the apparatus, used for tenderising the opponent's rib cartilage. The only protective equipment used is the helmet. Helmets come in a variety of styles. Many players wear knee-pads tied to the tops of their heads, some stick their heads up through the bottom of a canary-cage and one lad from Cork wears a deep-fat fryer. The headgear also comes in various colours because, apparently, no two players on any team are allowed to wear the same colour.

The game starts with two players from each side standing, fully armed, in the middle of the field. On a signal from the referee, they start to beat each other about the ankles with their sticks until the referee blows a whistle. When he blows it again, other sets of combatants lay into each other, trying to break their sticks, either overhead against their opponent's weapon in a sort of aerial fencing (known as "the clash of the ash") or on the opponent himself (the gash of the ash). When a player succeeds in breaking his stick - a smash of the ash - a  huge roar goes up from the crowd, the player waves his broken stick above his head in triumph and immediately he is thrown a replacement weapon from a store that is kept on the sideline (the stash of the ash). The crowd roars at other random occasions also, in what appears to be a side competition between the two sets of supporters, because when they roar, a man in a white coat holds up a white flag, in the manner of an umpire in football. If the roar is really loud, he waves a green flag.

If a player manages to strike his opponent on the hand or in the stomach area, this is known as a "dirty pull" and is one of the principal skills of the game. The only form of violence not permitted is pushing an opponent in the back and referees deal mercilessly with offenders against this rule. On the other hand, crippling, mangling, maiming and disembowelling and all other forms of "lash with the ash" are quite in order. The contest continues until there are no spare sticks left and the referee declares a winner, presumably based on a combination of broken stick count and number of casualties which, considering the weaponry deployed and the ferocity of the conflict is usually remarkably few. As a result of this preliminary research, I came to a few obvious conclusions: Kilkenny must be disarmed - by force if necessary; weapons inspectors must be given access to Cork and Tipperary and there is finally an explanation for the fact that the Romans never came to Ireland.

I discovered also that only teachers, students and policemen play the game. This makes sense, everybody else has work to go to. One final mystery remains: where are the Gardai when all this is going on? When will the blue lights flash on the clash of the ash?"

[Lecale2]

Originally posted here by Hardyarse I think.

[Bud Wiser]

It was definately posted by one of our own on the old board anyway and I think you are right, it was Hardyarse The Fiddler.
Gas that a Meathman should use it to have a laugh at Kilkenny being a one code county   

For tourist fodder we are all provided with details of Monastic Sites, RoundTowers, The Book of Kells, Stag Hunting and Slane Castle but the real Meathman would consider a hurler to be an imposter in the county and would probably chase him out of the place as quick like Mick Baily chases a stag in the Meath Stag Hunt.

Being a footballing county you have to be able to talk football in the hard man vein or you are not at the races, and I am not talking about Fairyhouse, I am talking about the era when there was not a pig of any determinable size left alive within a 60 mile radius of Skryne when bladders were as valuable as foxes tails to make footballs to train these boys to capture the elusive Sam.  And sure they did , and then they promptly built pubs in the names of their heros so that us passers by from Kilkenny can call in and not alone be releived of our hard earned shillings but of our sanity listening to tales of Red Collier and Mick Lyons and the great hard men of the county in pubs aptly named The Hatchet, Harnan's Bar, Geraghty's, O'Connell's etc .  Most pubs are named after almost every one that kicked a point as opposed to drinking a pint in the county.  In recent years they have not matched the stories they tell in the pubs on the field and now they even have a pub called The Last Straw. 

The ladies don't 'put out' much at all and never seem to meet their counterparts from Galway, Cork, Kerry, The Jackies or even Laois and Mayo in Croke Park.  They are more into Kilbeggan and Fairyhouse than football and the possibility of getting their race card signed, and more, by a Meath County Player is more attractive and appealing than getting the run around from Cora Staunton or some raven haired six footer from Cork in Croke Park.

Football is a dying game in Meath now and all they do is talk about it but, and it could only happen in Meath, they get paid to talk about it. As a result, when Tommy Tiernan is not around to do it, we have hillarious articles written for us by Liam Hayes to browse through on a weekly basis.  He covers the papers with headlines like "Resurgent Royals" and in fairness he believed one time that they could indeed win Sam again if he was manager, but, having failed to bring Carlow anywhere at all he withdrew his nomination in 2008.   His colleague and past hard man, Colm O'Rourke who will never be forgotton for robbing Pat Spillanes idea of a knee bandage for recognition and does sweeper upper on TV in case Liam forgets to tell us all about football and why it is so long since Meath won a Leinster Final or All-Ireland.

All looks well for Meath in 2010 though and once again we are talking about a Royal Resurgance.  It has taken AFTER almost four years, twenty five interviews, ten different selection committees and an six aborted attempts to appoint a manager and news is that Eamonn O'Brien is returning to the Stag Hunting fulltime.  A new manager was appointed in The Knights pub in Navan immediately after Meaths exit from this years championship.  O'Rourke said he was stunned by the appointment of a lady manager,  and,  by the manager herself seen on the right below.  Hayes said "My advice that Meath needed  more physical presence on the field was taken up wrongly by the selection committee, I have no sour grapes to dish out over not being appointed manager in 2008 but I meant that we needed more physical presence in terms of footballers".    Maybe they should have a go at the hurling, although the highest end Sony Bravia engine in the largest flat screen TV will still not capture the flight of the ould sliothar once King Henry gets the cross hairs lined up.




Meath Players (below) involved in the more gentlemanly sport of football.



Can't wait for the slagging of Laois to start ! 

[Bord na Mona man]

Originally posted here by Hardyarse I think.

Indeed it was.

[thejuice]

I don't know lads, I love hurling. Its just not that encouraged in Meath. My dad tried to get hurling going in the local club but he wasn't given any support by the club officials and was told that many times by them. So its hard to progress the game against that, with limited resources and player numbers going round as well.

[milltown row]

all clubs should field both codes, that should be the directive from Croke park. another thing that annoys me is that there are clubs out there with the letters GFC after there club name. WAN*ERS

[thejuice]

Just wonderin' as we have 3 clubs fairly close together, you could even make that 4 depending on your definition of close, would it be good to set up an amalgamated hurling team with those 4 clubs? sadly I'm living abroad but whenever I get home its something I'd look into.

[milltown row]

yeah thats a better idea than letting it go. we have struggled for years a dominate football club to promote hurling. we have had varied success over the years but we live in the shadow of the big all game.

whats strange is that all the hurling players play football.

[Ard-Rí]

Sorry to revive an old thread and all, but the above article is too good to be passed over!

As somebody from Meath who loves to watch and support Hurling, I'd also love to play it. But I never will.
Why? Because in order to play Hurling I'd have to play with the team of another parish, and that just
doesnae sit right. Good luck getting the Football clubs to accept Hurling either. You might as well suggest
an amalgamation with a soccer team. My club let a Hurling team onto the all weather pitch during the winter,
which they promptly dismantled by means unknown. It suffices to say the entire wooden perimeter had to be
replaced, and several nets also had to be repaired. Hurling is now a dirty word in the parish, and the mention of
it causes Football men to turn red and splutter angrily into their pints. 

Anyway, Bravo to Hardy(arse the Fiddler), he clearly has a great talent as a writer.

[upmonaghansayswe]

Rules Question (probably asked before!)

Is there (was there) ever a rule that once a player losses their hurl they can only move the sliotar on by kicking it?.. I thought I heard this before, but saw 2 players hand-passing it to another player on 2 occasions last Sunday, after losing their hurl..

[Eamonnca1]

Is there (was there) ever a rule that once a player losses their hurl they can only move the sliotar on by kicking it?

First I've heard of it.

[upmonaghansayswe]

Is there (was there) ever a rule that once a player losses their hurl they can only move the sliotar on by kicking it?

First I've heard of it.

Someone spouting crap then so!.