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Non GAA Discussion => General discussion => Topic started by: Eamonnca1 on October 25, 2013, 09:11:55 PM

Title: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 25, 2013, 09:11:55 PM
I'm starting this thread to talk about something that I think should be talked about more openly.

I've suffered from depression in the past and had a particularly nasty bout a few years ago when I was wondering what was the point of going on and would the world be any worse off if I just abandoned ship. That was a bit of an extreme case, but it usually hits me in winter, and it doesn't take much to trigger it (in my case it's usually my relationships with women). The fact that I've been through it before meant that I was reasonably well equipped to deal with it.  I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but I decided to embark on "Operation fight back against it" in the following way:


Finally, keep a diary of all of the above.  Record all the positive things I did in a week, award myself points for different types of activities, and try to keep a consistently high score each day and each week.  So if it's nearing the end of the day and my score isn't what it was the previous day then I might think "okay, better fire up Netflix and watch a funny show", or if it's nearing the weekend and I'm lacking in points then I'll make an effort to go out dancing with friends.  It's a bit like what app developers call "game mechanics", incentivised behaviour brought on by making a game out of it.

It took me about a year or more to fully recover from that bout which was probably the most intense I've ever had, and I kept up the diary thing for a long time afterwards until I felt confident enough to do without it.

Like I said, that's not a system that'll work for everyone, and no one of those things is going to fix it all, but each one helped a little and collectively it added up.  It also helped that I have pets to take care of.  I don't have a wife or family, but in the darkest days of winter it's nice to have a bit of company in the evenings, even if it's some small furry animals that are always happy to see you no matter what.  There's something soothing about a cat sitting purring on your lap.

Anyone else have similar experiences or coping mechanisms?

Respectful comments only please.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: All of a Sludden on October 25, 2013, 09:34:05 PM
That is a very honest and brave post Eamonn. I sincerely hope everything works out for you. Stay positive and good luck.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Mickey Linden on October 25, 2013, 09:57:58 PM
Great post. Well done
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ONeill on October 25, 2013, 11:48:10 PM
Admirable post. I still find it difficult to deal with those in depression in the same way as with alcoholics or any addiction, as in working hard to empathise with something you cannot experience.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fear ůn Srath BŠn on October 26, 2013, 12:08:27 AM
Completely correct, it should be talked about more openly, and fair dues, enlightening.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 26, 2013, 12:36:20 AM
Great post Eamon. I've had similar experiences and staying off drink is the big one for me, along with plenty of exercise. I found that psychiatrists and doctors in Ireland(and presumably elsewhere too) are much to quick to throw medication at the problem when a healthier lifestyle can often sort out the problem. And of course talking to someone and telling them what's going on is the most important thing of all. You see these tragedies with Niall Donoghue, Darren Sutherland and Gary Speed and you'd think that maybe it's even harder for them to open up because they're heroes and everyone looks up to them. But I think the stigma is being lifted and in future people won't be so afraid to say they're depressed.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: theskull1 on October 26, 2013, 01:20:16 AM
Always appreciated your contribution to the board Eamonn. Honest to the end. You should be proud of that post. Life's not all sweetness and light. A lot of it you need to negotiate without instruction. Life's worth living that's all I know...and I feel its my job to ensure the next generation think the same, That keeps me alive. We all benefit.


As a fellow atheist...I'd be interested in your perspective on living without a deity and how that affects your: consciousness. Do you think the lack of a god figure has the potential to bring about  a level of melancholy?

For me its doesn't but each of us harbour that catholic guilt in different ways..

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Wildweasel74 on October 26, 2013, 02:41:44 AM
Worrying thing about depression is how do u know u have it, did think i had it possible in the past, looking at that list eamon put up, there would have been a fair few of them boxes which i would have ticked in the past worryingly
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ballela-angel on October 26, 2013, 03:23:55 AM
Eamon - Great post - Have a close family member who has had a serious fight with it over the last year and they never did before and they're as auld as I am - I wanted to jump in on two points associated with it, although I am far from being an expert on it - First, their condition had a brain chemistry/electrons component to it and required electric shock treatment to get sorted out, followed by Lithium treatment - Second, they now are aware of some early indicators of it, one being, starting to drive slowly, which I though was interesting
As regards the question : As a fellow atheist...I'd be interested in your perspective on living without a deity and how that affects your: consciousness. Do you think the lack of a god figure has the potential to bring about  a level of melancholy?  My  family member believes in a deity and would be quite a spiritual person
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Maguire01 on October 26, 2013, 09:06:05 AM
Good post. I'm fortunate not to have suffered from depression. The two points below did ring a bell with me however - the difference natural light, and a bright house can have on my general mood is phenomenal - I imagine it would be much more significant in dealing with the likes of depression.

  • Keep the lights on and blinds open in the office during the day.
  • Have as much light as possible in the house in the evening.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: CD on October 26, 2013, 09:36:26 AM
Good luck with the battle Eamonn! Thanks for the very frank and honest post. There's a lot of fantastic advice that would also apply to anyone suffering from stress - particularly re. abusing alcohol, getting sufficient sleep, reducing adrenalin through good cardio activity and maintaining a social life.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Over the Bar on October 26, 2013, 09:48:09 AM
Brave post Eamonn.   Don't anyone be afraid to lift the phone to Lifeline 0808 8088000 - save the no in your phone, its 24/7 and not just for those who are suicidal.  If you're feeling at a low ebb you'll be glad you made the call.   
 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ONeill on October 26, 2013, 10:55:25 AM
I'm interested to hear how people should deal with depression in their homeÖ.as in what is the best way to help someone with depression.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: maddog on October 26, 2013, 12:01:51 PM
I'm starting this thread to talk about something that I think should be talked about more openly.

I've suffered from depression in the past and had a particularly nasty bout a few years ago when I was wondering what was the point of going on and would the world be any worse off if I just abandoned ship. That was a bit of an extreme case, but it usually hits me in winter, and it doesn't take much to trigger it (in my case it's usually my relationships with women). The fact that I've been through it before meant that I was reasonably well equipped to deal with it.  I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but I decided to embark on "Operation fight back against it" in the following way:

  • Stay off the drink (which is a depressant, particularly gin which was an old favourite of mine).
  • Interact with friends at least once a week no matter how much of a pain in the neck it is to go out.  If you stay in the house when in that state it's very easy to forget that you even have friends, so getting out there and meeting them reminds you that they're always there.
  • Get out of the house and mingle at weekends, no sitting in the house all weekend with no human contact, even if I'm not hugely enthused about the idea of going to whatever party is on and even if I'm going to have that "alone in a crowd" sensation for some of the time.
  • Try to strike up conversations with strangers when doing business with them - Californians are friendly like that and are happy to chat instead of just taking your money and saying thank you and have a good day.  Sometimes you can have a bit of crack at the cash register at the most unexpected of times if you just make the effort to converse.
  • Cardiovascular exercise (in my case long haul rides on the bike with my club) to get some endorphins flowing and keep the appetite working.
  • Make sure to eat at regular times during the weekend as if it were a week day (easy to forget that sometimes).
  • Watch old comedy shows that I know I'm going to like and will make me chuckle (in my case shows like Blackadder).
  • Keep the lights on and blinds open in the office during the day.
  • Have as much light as possible in the house in the evening.
  • Use sleeping aids at night if necessary, and try to get up early enough to maximise the amount of sunlight you get
  • Speak to a counselor once a week, which becomes a bit of a highlight of the week.

Finally, keep a diary of all of the above.  Record all the positive things I did in a week, award myself points for different types of activities, and try to keep a consistently high score each day and each week.  So if it's nearing the end of the day and my score isn't what it was the previous day then I might think "okay, better fire up Netflix and watch a funny show", or if it's nearing the weekend and I'm lacking in points then I'll make an effort to go out dancing with friends.  It's a bit like what app developers call "game mechanics", incentivised behaviour brought on by making a game out of it.

It took me about a year or more to fully recover from that bout which was probably the most intense I've ever had, and I kept up the diary thing for a long time afterwards until I felt confident enough to do without it.

Like I said, that's not a system that'll work for everyone, and no one of those things is going to fix it all, but each one helped a little and collectively it added up.  It also helped that I have pets to take care of.  I don't have a wife or family, but in the darkest days of winter it's nice to have a bit of company in the evenings, even if it's some small furry animals that are always happy to see you no matter what.  There's something soothing about a cat sitting purring on your lap.

Anyone else have similar experiences or coping mechanisms?

Respectful comments only please.

Good post Eamonn, while I don't know a lot of what you refer to I can agree with 2 of them, the long bike rides especially after work really help clear the head and make you feel much more alive and the winter months particular the nights drawing in I think definitely have an effect on people. It is a serious serious issue and effects so many families. I often wonder how many over the generations maybe suffered with it their whole lives. Everyone has a grumpy older relative be it uncle or grandad that has the most morose view of life and were of the "just get on with it" generation. Good luck with it anyway.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 26, 2013, 12:37:06 PM
I'm interested to hear how people should deal with depression in their homeÖ.as in what is the best way to help someone with depression.

Good post and good thread Eamonn.

Luckily I have never been depressed in the way the OP described but have definitely thought I might be on the slippery slope to depression once or twice.

I only had one rule for myself and thankfully it seemed to keep me out of trouble:

1. Get out of bed.

For me the world improves dramatically within minutes of getting out of bed. I start doing things and I will get out and about etc. As you get things done you start to feel better and do more and the cycle continues.

It is interesting to read about the daylight comments and I would completely agree.

However I always felt there is a chemical or medical aspect to serious depression that could mean that whatever worked for me or others wouldn't necessarily work for someone else.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: charlieTully on October 26, 2013, 12:42:07 PM
http://www.lifelinehelpline.info/

a useful helpline number for anyone with low mood or thoughts of suicide.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: stew on October 26, 2013, 02:22:09 PM
I have been on sertraline for a year and it has helped, suicide was and will never be an option but I was at the point that I felt I did not care if I was alive or dead, epilepsy haunts me, impacts my life and it got me down, I quit two great jobs because I could no longer drive.

Money was aplenty, no problems there right up until the point I started having seizures for the first time in 15 years, it took me a good six months to realize money is really not that important, family is.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: andoireabu on October 26, 2013, 03:03:37 PM
A mate of mine suffered during our time at uni.  He was in a pretty intense course and seemed to be working every waking moment.  He never got any of the social life we had and went through a bad break up on top of it.  He never mentioned feeling down or anything but we found out that the doctor had put him on anti depressants.  After a while they didn't seem to make any difference and there was no change in his daily life.  Just all work and no play.  He went for a rope one night and thankfully it broke before he could do any harm.  We never brought it up to him but kept a closer eye on his general mood. A couple of years after we were talking a bit about a suicide in the area and he got very quiet.  I kinda steered the chat to that night and waited for him to say something but all he wanted was for me to say it so that he knew we knew without having to say it himself.  I think the problem he had was that he didn't want to confide in the people closest to him because of our age and because nobody else was having the same problems he was having.  Even as his mates we didn't really know how to help because you don't know if he wants to talk about it or have you keep asking, "are you alright?", all the time.  Even now a couple of years after we aren't sure if it's something that still bothers him or if he is on the right side of it. 

For the lads on here who have had experience of it, is it something you would want your friends asking about or would it be better to wait until the person brings it up themselves?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: stew on October 26, 2013, 03:57:56 PM
Please get him to talk about it, preferably to a counselor or if not his mates, he needs to express it, that is awful and I wish him nothing but the best.
 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on October 26, 2013, 06:43:38 PM
Most posters would know of someone who suffers from it or has in the past, terrible illness to deal with, not just for the sufferer but for family and friends also.

Trying to deal with someone with it is really difficult, as for most parts the person is the life and soul of the party and during that you are wondering whats all the fuss, but when they feel that dark dark cloud surrounding them and they get a sense of worthlessness then they become a different person and reasoning with them becomes impossible. It could have been a change to their routine or a getting bad news combined with a crap day at work that could set it of, even missing a session with the club or gym.

Not enough being done (imo) on mental health issues, a lot of unanswered questions. Below is some stats on suicide, scary reading

This yearís report shows:
 In the UK, the highest suicide rate per 100,000 for males, females and for all persons was in Scotland.
Male suicide rates are on average 3-5 times higher than female rates and men aged 30-44 are the group with the highest rate.
In the ROI men are also the group with the highest suicide rate, it is approximately 5 times that of females, and highest for men aged 45-49.


1 million people across the globe die by suicide each year. Thatís one suicide every 40 seconds.
More people die by suicide each year than by murder and war combined.
 Itís estimated that approximately 5% of people attempt suicide at least once in their life.
Between 10% and 14% of the general population have suicidal thinking throughout their lifetime.
 Suicide is the second biggest cause of death worldwide among 15-19 year olds.
100,000 adolescents die by suicide every year.
 Suicide is estimated to be under-reported for reasons of stigma, religion and social attitudes. Many suicides are hidden among other causes of death, such as road traffic accidents and drowning.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BartSimpson on October 26, 2013, 08:53:56 PM
Well done and very brave. Not many talk about it and thousands more should. I know a few people with a similar type of depression as what you describe EamonM, and God knows theres several different types.

Have you tried a Seasonal adjustment light for the house you live in? I know when winter comes, some of them get very dpwn, until they start to use the light, and that gives them enough to see them through the dark days.

Another great crowd who can help and have a big link with the Dubs is Pieta house www.pieta.ie and I know a few peiple who use them. All volunteers too. Top people.

Best wishes to all here who are in dark times. there is hope
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 26, 2013, 09:06:09 PM
Well done and very brave. Not many talk about it and thousands more should. I know a few people with a similar type of depression as what you describe EamonM, and God knows theres several different types.

Have you tried a Seasonal adjustment light for the house you live in? I know when winter comes, some of them get very dpwn, until they start to use the light, and that gives them enough to see them through the dark days.

Another great crowd who can help and have a big link with the Dubs is Pieta house www.pieta.ie and I know a few peiple who use them. All volunteers too. Top people.

Best wishes to all here who are in dark times. there is hope

Good call, maybe we could do something for them charity-wise again?

A run?
A cycle?
A 5-aside soccer tournament?
A golf outing?

Something else?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on October 26, 2013, 09:08:14 PM
Eamon I often disagree with your viewpoints(and I will again and that is for certain!) but I admire you for putting your story out there.  In many ways you are very lucky in that you recognise what you need to do and you have developed coping mechanisms.  Depression is an illness which has struck my family terribly.  In 2 weeks time it will be the first anniversary of my mum's passing and it is pretty tough for me at the minute.  If you have never been in the maelstrom of what goes on in the life of someone suffering from depression then it is very hard to understand why they keep the curtains closed, why they don't leave the house, why they feel their guts turn whenever they are faced with having a simple conversation with someone who simply asks ' well, how's things?'.  How often do we ask that question and receive the answer, 'ah well things are grand' or 'ah well they could be worse'.    The worst answer is 'Fine'.  Generally it is clear that things are not fine but the person simply does not know (or does not want to know) what to say.  It sickens me when you ask someone how they are and they fill you full of a litany of illnesses, stresses and shite to be honest about how tough their life is.   They day they refuse to answer the door or the phone or even refuse to get dressed because they cannot face the world is the day they get my sympathy. 

In Ireland we have a horrendous illness which is not full being fought and the more support we can give to the likes of Pieta House and AWARE and PIPS the better it will be for our future.

Well done and very brave. Not many talk about it and thousands more should. I know a few people with a similar type of depression as what you describe EamonM, and God knows theres several different types.

Have you tried a Seasonal adjustment light for the house you live in? I know when winter comes, some of them get very dpwn, until they start to use the light, and that gives them enough to see them through the dark days.

Another great crowd who can help and have a big link with the Dubs is Pieta house www.pieta.ie and I know a few peiple who use them. All volunteers too. Top people.

Best wishes to all here who are in dark times. there is hope

Good call, maybe we could do something for them charity-wise again?

A run?
A cycle?
A 5-aside soccer tournament?
A golf outing?

Something else?


A 7 aside GAA tournament?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 26, 2013, 09:46:27 PM
From 2004 until present time I went looking for somewhere to end it all....trees etc I was diagnosed with a relatively simple complaint but I could see no light at the end of the tunnel....I survived.....then was diagnosed with cancer in April.....felt like calling it a day...but couldn't ......have had 12 doses of chemo and await a scan to see how things have progressed.....I have felt very close to ending it all.....but I can't I'm a coward.

Seek help it is the only way out!

Jesus man that is tough going but fair play, stick at it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: mouview on October 27, 2013, 01:19:15 AM
From 2004 until present time I went looking for somewhere to end it all....trees etc I was diagnosed with a relatively simple complaint but I could see no light at the end of the tunnel....I survived.....then was diagnosed with cancer in April.....felt like calling it a day...but couldn't ......have had 12 doses of chemo and await a scan to see how things have progressed.....I have felt very close to ending it all.....but I can't I'm a coward.

Seek help it is the only way out!

No, you're courageous for keeping going and not giving up.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: thebandit on October 27, 2013, 01:37:45 AM
Fair play to you lads... It's a very brave thing to speak out, and 'normalising' the condition is so important given the events of this week.

I've been told in the past that I have SAD, basically that the winter can be tough to get through. But I'd feel more pissed off that depressed.

In any case, it's important to make an effort to help people, I lost a cousin to suicide, and even though he was a good bit older than me (he was 29, I was 13), I'll always regret not doing the 'small things' and encouraging others to do the same. It can be know what to say, but 5 minutes of conversation can make a difference in anyone's day.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: FL/MAYO on October 27, 2013, 01:38:52 AM
Interesting article in CNN
Could you be almost depressed?

http://cnn.it/1ePsu5U
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on October 27, 2013, 08:18:20 AM
A close friend of mine same age as me committed suicide 4 weeks ago, he was jobless and no girlfriend and saw no way out, because i am abroad working i haven't seen him in 1 yr and in that time i was told he was not himself, this devastated me and i cannot comprehend how his family felt or still feel,

i believe not talking about suicide and depression is the biggest mistake out there, when people die from suicide its not stated most of time through fear of more etcÖ but that to me is wrong, people with depression suffer a huge amount of shame because of the way society views it, and within their communities they get isolated because of this shame and guilt, by not talking about it or trying to cover up suicide what message does that send to someone who is depressed,

Respect to eamonn for starting this thread and count10 for both there courage, i would say count you are not a coward, you just don't have it in you to give up,

Up until the age of 23 i can say i never really had anything too bad happen, but then wham my dad has a heart attack, best friend gets cancer and brother in a serious car accident all in the same month, i am emotional centre of my family so everyone looked at me for support but i went in breakdown, all the above survived but the shock of that was too much for me as i am sensitive soul, having emotional support everyone was too much, at work it was hard to hide the pain and eventually illnesses appeared in me, ulcers, balance disorders, nausea, headaches, i remember the week after dad had the heart attack i was so sick i had to be sedated, and carried to the car, from then i had 6 yrs of illnesses, many of family questioned the reality of them and that was tough for me to bear, doctors sent me to pyschcharist who said i am fine, whats going on with is something more than just mental, i did loads of alternative therapies, to find cures, i had to give up work for a 1yr because 1 illness took all my energy, i could bearly move, during this time i did get depressed but refused medication and went down the spiritual path looking for answers, i received no support from family or friends, in fact some friends abundoned me and my family hadn't a  clue what i was going through and used to make things worse, by saying its all your head, get a job etcÖeventually with the energy loss they found i had a rare virus which has no cure, what to do then? at that time i had read enough about the ego to dissolve some of my expectations of how life should be but  was definitely in a depressed state, i kept doing alternative therapies and i was searching for a cure, eventually i came across Neuro Linguistic programming technique called lightning process, it was in london and by this time i had job offer in dubai, i still had no energy so i borrowed money of a cousin who is a close friend and this was my last chance before the job started, it worked, what it does is amazing, it basically rewires your brain using thoughts and action to  release endorphins and stop adrenaline pumping, i had my energy back and went to dubai, still this chapter wasn't closed, i was realising though that i was beginning to awake to something, i was aware of myself the ego and learning about conscious and unconscious behavioural patterns of my own, in dubai i started to get vasovagal attacks and IBS, and it once happened on a flight which was the scariest thing every, what used to happen was my body would just suddenly shut down and circulation would stop and i would go into shock, and be rushed to hospital, this happened about 9/10 times over 2 yrs and i couldn't understand why or how to stop it, one day i was listening to the car radio and this guy was describing exactly what i was going through, and he read a book, the book was claire weeks, self help for your nerves, basically what happened me was through all the illnesses my awareness and sensitivity of the body made me over sensitive to sensations and my body was overreacting unconsciously, believe it or that book cured me, you can reverse everything, along the way of all the above i did get diagnosed with genetic disorder which is the main reason i didn't make it a football, through having no patella on either leg, i was also able to handle my dads cancer which he survived because of all the knowledge and experience and tools i went through during those yrs, i also met a native american medicine woman who takes on apprentices and puts them through ceremonies of native american traditions which is life enhancing to say the least and i met amazing people along the way..one other thing is one guy who is astrologer and did a reading on my birth chart, which basically is the minute your born and where you were and that, he basically validated  everything i went through, i barely spoke and he had everything about all the illnesses and why i had to go through them, and there was a reason, and actually through all that suffering i started to see vibrations of energy around people and light  and have these gifts of healing myself which i have helped others and this is why i am in georgia to make a quick buck and then i am going to change my career and going to train in NLP and become a practitioner, the suffering had a purpose and i saw the signs and there is so much more to this life than meets the eye, i had some strange experiences and see things you would have to see to be believed and everyones story is different, but i would say this, i wouldn't treat depression with medication, i honestly believe our neuro pathways get entangled and toxic and once there untangled and your thought how to release endorphins you come back into balance. i know eamonn stated his coping measures but i would say do what you feel you need to do at this moment, but do consider NLP aswell which they teach to use the tools yourself and then you won't need to cope and can just live in balance instead.

3 books hat helped me most where eckhart toll power of nw, jeff foster deepest acceptance and tibetan book od the living and death..
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 27, 2013, 08:43:38 AM
AA have a lot of slogans but my favorite is "This too shall pass". No matter what sh!tty situation you're in or how awful you feel, it will pass if you just hang in there.

I think it helps to remove the stigma if the family and newspapers actually talk openly about it as suicide rather than the "he was found dead at his home" stuff, when everyone knows what happens. That just sends the message that there is something shameful about suicide when there isn't. It's just a tragedy.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on October 27, 2013, 11:36:28 AM
Fair play to the lads that are brave enough to tell their stories. Must be like a rollercoaster at times. All different coping methods it seems and as long as they work for you then brilliant. Keep up the fight
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: illdecide on October 27, 2013, 12:25:44 PM
I I don't know the slightest thing about this so couldn't possibly give advice to any of you but fair play for coming out and posting it up .This in itself proves that you are a much stronger person than u realise.  I know I don't post up much sense at times and am a bit of a joker but all I can say if at anytime your feeling low for whatever reason post it up and im certain whoever is online at that time can talk to you and give some encouragement...
good luck...
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: samboswig on October 27, 2013, 03:25:50 PM
Anyone who can talk about what is bothering them, whether to friends or family or even on a message board has big balls and my admiration. Keep her lit.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 27, 2013, 05:51:55 PM
AA have a lot of slogans but my favorite is "This too shall pass". No matter what sh!tty situation you're in or how awful you feel, it will pass if you just hang in there.

I think it helps to remove the stigma if the family and newspapers actually talk openly about it as suicide rather than the "he was found dead at his home" stuff, when everyone knows what happens. That just sends the message that there is something shameful about suicide when there isn't. It's just a tragedy.

I think they don't want to encourage copycat behavior, Asal. It is very complicated. I think mental health education could be far more effective than it is. It's desperate to see people taking their own lives in their early 20s when maybe if they knew what was happening to them and who could help them they could be fine a few months later. Suicidal urges can be gone in 10 minutes.

Donal Og did great work coming out and I think something similar is required for mental illness ,another old taboo.
Marcus Trescothick the cricketer gave up test cricket because of his depression and "came out" about it

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/oct/15/the-spin-marcus-trescothick-changed-cricket

I remember John Leahy taunting Gerry McInerney about his brother's suicide. Sport is often too macho and you have to take your punishment but sports people could open up the debate with the right support.   
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jeepers Creepers on October 27, 2013, 07:47:49 PM
Someone had earlier posted about exercise. Remember reading an article about Ronnie O'Sullivan who was battling depression which was well documented. A doctor prescribed all sorts and in the end said has he tried jogging. He decided to it give a go after a while he said he was doing 35 to 40 miles a week and for the first time felt light at the end of the tunnel. Asked if he was forced to give up either snooker or jogging, he'd give up snooker in a flash because jogging was having a profound effect.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 27, 2013, 09:36:55 PM
Thanks for all the kind comments and private messages.

I'm in a much better state of mind now, but at this time of year I still take preventative measures before it becomes a problem. So I keep up the exercise and keep the lights on full. Might invest in a light box for good measure.

Some of you have raised the religion issue. As atheists in a religious society we're sometimes defined in terms of what we're not as opposed to what we are. I might not be a religious person but I consider myself a very spiritual person. The wind in my face when cycling, the company of friends, the enjoyment I get from learning new skills, the satisfaction I get from my GAA work,  family, these are the things that make me sometimes step back from the moment and marvel at how good life is. The billion year chain of events that brought us about. The endless exciting possibilities of existence.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 28, 2013, 08:55:38 AM

I think they don't want to encourage copycat behavior, Asal. It is very complicated. I think mental health education could be far more effective than it is. It's desperate to see people taking their own lives in their early 20s when maybe if they knew what was happening to them and who could help them they could be fine a few months later. Suicidal urges can be gone in 10 minutes.

Donal Og did great work coming out and I think something similar is required for mental illness ,another old taboo.
Marcus Trescothick the cricketer gave up test cricket because of his depression and "came out" about it

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/oct/15/the-spin-marcus-trescothick-changed-cricket

You're probably right there seafoid and I suppose it would be pretty insensitive to the family too.

Growing up in a small town, I remember you'd hear occasionally "that's your man who was in the psych unit" and it's a stigma that would follow that person around, like an ex-con. He'd be seen as a bit of an oddball forever more. I'd say attitudes have changed a fair bit since then, thankfully, but there's still a way to go. Shane O' Donnell's comments have been good to hear.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BarryBreensBandage on October 28, 2013, 10:12:42 AM
ďThe keys to life are running and reading. When you're running, there's a little person that talks to you and says, "Oh I'm tired. My lung's about to pop. I'm so hurt. There's no way I can possibly continue." You want to quit. If you learn how to defeat that person when you're running, You will know how to not quit when things get hard in your life. For reading: there have been gazillions of people that have lived before all of us. There's no new problem you could have--with your parents, with school, with a bully. There's no new problem that someone hasn't already had and written about it in a book.Ē


― Will Smith

Big respect to people who have posted their own story here.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: theskull1 on October 28, 2013, 10:17:29 AM
Just playing devils advocate here lads ...

Is there any evidence, that losing any stigma related to depression and suicide is having any benefit on society? I'm sure some would argue that the stigma was in place as a layer of protection to try and protect the wider population from what they may have considered a "thought virus"? Lose the stigma and you potentially increase the possibility that more people could talk themselves into "catching the cold" so to speak.

I say again ...I'm being devils advocate   
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on October 28, 2013, 10:53:59 AM
Just playing devils advocate here lads ...

Is there any evidence, that losing any stigma related to depression and suicide is having any benefit on society? I'm sure some would argue that the stigma was in place as a layer of protection to try and protect the wider population from what they may have considered a "thought virus"? Lose the stigma and you potentially increase the possibility that more people could talk themselves into "catching the cold" so to speak.

I say again ...I'm being devils advocate

There is logic to what you say skull and the whole notion of 'copycatting' is something that there is a fear of.  The more pertinent issue is not the lifting of the stigma but the education that follows that lifting.  It is one thing to say it is ok to talk about things but people need to know why it is ok to talk about things and why there are other answers to the terrible questions in their heads than taking their own life.  Depression is the hidden illness that can effect anyone.  A few of us on here had an old school friend who committed suicide a few weeks ago.  He was the most inoffensive, innocent type of a fella that you could ever meet.  I hadn't seen him in years in fairness so I cannot comment on what had happened to him in the interim but he was just simply a nice young lad.  It nearly knocked me off my feet when I hear of it.  I spoke to a few Board members on here and we  couldn't grasp it.  I am not ashamed to say this but I sat in the carpark in Tescos in Newry and cried about it.  It was one of those situations where you say to yourself what has happened to the world over the years to make it so unappealing for people to live in.  I personally have battled depression for many years.  I go into seriously dark places.  Like Eamonca1 this time of the year is very difficult as the nights get darker and the evenings get colder.  I become very difficult to live with some times.  I agree with the quote from Will Smith about reading and running.  I know that football in Crossmaglen saved my life.  The release of frustration, the sense of achievement and the feeling of being part of something special all contributed to a greater sense of well being and the joy of reading not only made me realise that the world always had the problems I have had but also it broadened my mind and the joy of actually learning something new was special in itself.  I had stopped reading for a long time but I am back at it now(Lethal Allies is a great read!) and it is helping me again at a very difficult time. 

So to get back to your point, the notion that by talking about it means everyone catches a cold has some merit in it but it needs to be talked about, the longer it is hidden the harder it is to beat.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on October 28, 2013, 11:02:50 AM
I'm starting this thread to talk about something that I think should be talked about more openly.

I've suffered from depression in the past and had a particularly nasty bout a few years ago when I was wondering what was the point of going on and would the world be any worse off if I just abandoned ship. That was a bit of an extreme case, but it usually hits me in winter, and it doesn't take much to trigger it (in my case it's usually my relationships with women). The fact that I've been through it before meant that I was reasonably well equipped to deal with it.  I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but I decided to embark on "Operation fight back against it" in the following way:

  • Stay off the drink (which is a depressant, particularly gin which was an old favourite of mine).
  • Interact with friends at least once a week no matter how much of a pain in the neck it is to go out.  If you stay in the house when in that state it's very easy to forget that you even have friends, so getting out there and meeting them reminds you that they're always there.
  • Get out of the house and mingle at weekends, no sitting in the house all weekend with no human contact, even if I'm not hugely enthused about the idea of going to whatever party is on and even if I'm going to have that "alone in a crowd" sensation for some of the time.
  • Try to strike up conversations with strangers when doing business with them - Californians are friendly like that and are happy to chat instead of just taking your money and saying thank you and have a good day.  Sometimes you can have a bit of crack at the cash register at the most unexpected of times if you just make the effort to converse.
  • Cardiovascular exercise (in my case long haul rides on the bike with my club) to get some endorphins flowing and keep the appetite working.
  • Make sure to eat at regular times during the weekend as if it were a week day (easy to forget that sometimes).
  • Watch old comedy shows that I know I'm going to like and will make me chuckle (in my case shows like Blackadder).
  • Keep the lights on and blinds open in the office during the day.
  • Have as much light as possible in the house in the evening.
  • Use sleeping aids at night if necessary, and try to get up early enough to maximise the amount of sunlight you get
  • Speak to a counselor once a week, which becomes a bit of a highlight of the week.

Finally, keep a diary of all of the above.  Record all the positive things I did in a week, award myself points for different types of activities, and try to keep a consistently high score each day and each week.  So if it's nearing the end of the day and my score isn't what it was the previous day then I might think "okay, better fire up Netflix and watch a funny show", or if it's nearing the weekend and I'm lacking in points then I'll make an effort to go out dancing with friends.  It's a bit like what app developers call "game mechanics", incentivised behaviour brought on by making a game out of it.

It took me about a year or more to fully recover from that bout which was probably the most intense I've ever had, and I kept up the diary thing for a long time afterwards until I felt confident enough to do without it.

Like I said, that's not a system that'll work for everyone, and no one of those things is going to fix it all, but each one helped a little and collectively it added up.  It also helped that I have pets to take care of.  I don't have a wife or family, but in the darkest days of winter it's nice to have a bit of company in the evenings, even if it's some small furry animals that are always happy to see you no matter what.  There's something soothing about a cat sitting purring on your lap.

Anyone else have similar experiences or coping mechanisms?

Respectful comments only please.
You did very well with all of this for your depression. You mention 'coping mechanisms' with depression, I'd say you worked through it and came out the other side. 'Coping' is a survival mechanism to help a person survive  the effects, not a way of working through it.
Every person has their own depression and there are  many different stages of decay, unfortunately  people (and many medics) tend to lump all depressions under the one depression label.
The "A.A.ism" applies - one day at a time,  except it depends on the level of the onset of despair. Once a person in the grips of depression decides somewhere in their brain that they want to move on, it might have to be boiled down to an hour at a time,  even 5 minutes a time, maybe every little event has to be separated. Going to the bathroom in the morning might have to be separated into 4 events, taking one at a time, toilet, shower,brush teeth, shave. That's one way how a person can get habituated into acting like a human, with the struggle to just function. The step after that is to do each event well and take satisfaction from doing it well. Then gradually expand the activities, the day to day events and add in positive activities that you mention.
 Generally people take the idea of getting up in the morning as one big event, to include all activities before leaving the house.
You have to keep plugging away Eamonnca and eventually you will be able to challenge the underlying reason why a relationship break up triggers a feeling of utter worthlessness. Even the underlying reasons for a cyclical depressions can be understood, confronted and put to a permanent sleep.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Count 10 on October 28, 2013, 11:04:00 AM
Thanks for the kind words. Right now I'm crying for no apparent reason. I need routine for my day, but since my diagnosis I lost my job, and am currently unemployed. I get up early and leave the kids to school, walk the dog, meet up for coffee etc and if you were to ask any of my family or friends they would have no idea of my demons.
One friend who suffers from depression stopped me one night in a bar and asked the simple question "How are you?".....well the floodgates opened and he was shocked beyond belief.
I have reached the stage where I'm tired....tired of everything....and I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Last Wednesday I slept for 17 hours, and I told my wife it was just tiredness from the chemo.
I have it all, a great family, wife, kids the whole lot, but I'm not happy and I don't know how much longer I can keep up the pretence.
My outlook on life is there's always someone worse off than you and it is so true.
Exercise is great for clearing the head, but at the moment I'm limited to short walks, but hopefully will be able to get out on the bike again soon.

The reason I post this is to give others who may be in a similar situation hope that we can change things around.
I'm sticking around!!   
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on October 28, 2013, 11:12:37 AM
Just playing devils advocate here lads ...

Is there any evidence, that losing any stigma related to depression and suicide is having any benefit on society? I'm sure some would argue that the stigma was in place as a layer of protection to try and protect the wider population from what they may have considered a "thought virus"? Lose the stigma and you potentially increase the possibility that more people could talk themselves into "catching the cold" so to speak.

I say again ...I'm being devils advocate

Increase suicide by talking about it? If you check the trends of suicide 20 years ago and today (when there is less stigma) would they be similar? i.e numbers taking own lives
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DennistheMenace on October 28, 2013, 11:29:00 AM
Suicides are widely reported as a 'sudden death' and it's wiped under the carpet. Personally i'd prefer for it to be out in the open, for more education around it, whilst it's not really a taboo' subject anymore, people still don't like to talk about it nor do the media seem to like to report it. Is there any evidence to support this copycat effect?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: STREET FIGHTER on October 28, 2013, 11:30:41 AM
How is the best way to help a sufferer of depression- if any???
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on October 28, 2013, 11:31:54 AM
Everybody is actually suffering from depression albeit to different extents depending on your level of awareness. Most people try to keep their minds busy and not face any of the issues. It is more dangerous but far more rewarding if you face all of them and try to dissolve them imo.

Skull is there any evidence that the stigma and keeping it quite is working, isnt it clear that that can only cause shame and is more likely to prevent anyone speaking to someone, i would go even further  though, ego awareness, death, depression, fear, suffering, meaning of life, illness, spirituality, dreams are all things that are rarely spoken about as subjects in Ireland but absolutely fascinate me and ive read tonnes of books on, and you learn so much about life, and yourself, how your programmed from a early age, to be someone your parents want you to be, then you reach adulthood after taking on all those projections and go on a voyage of self discovery to be who you are truly are meant to be which entails many battles but boy retrospectively is it magical, something that i was the biggest lesson was actual awareness of unconcious and concious behauvioral patterns within myself, huge discovery, i was 100% unconcious for 23 yrs, totally conditioned to be a certain person acting out from past experiences, to have that awakening to concious behauvior, to be able to to make a choice from the present moment and not react unconciously is so liberating,

My Friend who committed suicide made an unconcious choice which isnt free will or a choice imo, anybody who commits suicide makes that act from an unconcious place within, expression of a past pain that does not exist in the present, that is why when Jesus, said "forgive them father for they know not what theyve done" im not religious but some of Jesus's quote stayed with me, for me this is clear jesus means there unconcious, overwhelmed with their image of blasphemy they feel the anger which is unconcious and unconciously chose to let barrabas go, even the saying the push my buttons implies theres a machine there, when people push mine i go unconcious and get angry, acting out a past pain or an image of myself i hold, its the same with suicide at a more extreme level sadly, and the other thing about suicide its not the spirit you want to kill, its not even you, its your illusions, all depression is based on your expectations not being met in terms of life, of how others should act etc...and it all stems from your ego, you want to kill your ego which is all your images you have of yourself, of how life should be etc... people who are depressed are actually so close to the truth of life but its a tricky dance which can go either way, if you can somehow see the illusions and images of youself you hold, you can transcend them and be way more free, and even if you can be aware of unconcious and concious within you will be in a better place mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on October 28, 2013, 11:35:54 AM
How is the best way to help a sufferer of depression- if any???
By being present and really listening with full attention. This is a rare gift people give these days with there busy lives and you dont even need to say anything for only they have the answers to it from walking in their own shoes.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on October 28, 2013, 11:42:31 AM
How is the best way to help a sufferer of depression- if any???
By being present and really listening with full attention. This is a rare gift people give these days with there busy lives and you dont even need to say anything for only they have the answers to it from walking in their own shoes.

So true, just listen and don't judge and don't feel that you have to have the answers.  You don't have them but by just being there you are doing all you can.  The one thing I would do though is encourage them to do things with you like go for walks, runs or just for a coffee. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: EC Unique on October 28, 2013, 03:42:25 PM
Some tough stuff on this thread. It is not something I have suffered from but have had family members with it. I wish nothing but wellness and peace of mind to the lads on here that have posted.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: heganboy on October 28, 2013, 04:23:50 PM
first of all, congratulations to all those who posted about those about their first hand experiences of depression.

Much respect to the balls on you to take the bull by the horns on this forum (especially Eamonnca1 for starting the thread so spectacularly)  and on your efforts to try and educate our little gaaboard crowd of numpties who know very little about such a personal and traumatic subject (including myself). I wish all of you the very best in your very personal battles with depression and the terms on which you have chosen to take your stands although diverse, are ridiculously impressive and humbling to the rest of us.
Any additional advice that you can give to those suffering with depression and the friends and family of those sufferers would be gratefully accepted.

second, congrats to those of you who have posted about your dealings with sufferers of depression, especially those who, by sharing your experiences, have educated idiots like myself on how you should conduct supportive dealings with sufferers.

lastly, to the posters who have not been affected directly but have been supportive of our family of posters, first class, it has been a source of pride to see how you have all responded to this thread.

I am a very humbled and proud gaaboarder today, I have shared and plan to continue sharing this thread widely.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: All of a Sludden on October 28, 2013, 07:41:54 PM
An absolute must read blog post by former Cork hurling panelist Conor Cusack, brother of Důnal ”g, on the subject of depression. #verybrave #pleasetalktosomeone #youareneveralone

Monday, 28 October 2013



   
Depression is a friend, not my enemy.





I still remember the moment well. It was a wet, cold, grey Friday morning. I rose out of bed having had no sleep the night before. Panic attacks are horrific experiences by day, by night they are even worse. As I drove to work on my trusted Honda 50, a group of my friends passed in their car heading to college. They all smiled and waved and looked so happy. I smiled and waved and acted happy. I had loved and excelled in school but it was the same with my hurling, it was the same with my friends, it was the same with my family, it was the same with the people of Cloyne, it was the same with life, I had lost interest in all of them. Losing interest in people was the worst. Where once I would have felt sadness at seeing my friends heading to where I had always wanted to go, I now didnít. Something much larger, deeper, darker had taken hold of my mind and sadness, despair, hopelessness were not strong enough to survive alongside what I was feeling.


They say something has  to crack to allow the light in. At about 11am that morning, I finally cracked. I couldnít do it anymore, all my strength at keeping up my pretence had gone. I curled up in the corner of the building and began to cry. One of the lads working with me came over and he didnít know what to do. I asked him to take me home. The GP called to my house and prescribed some sleeping pills and arranged for me to be sent to the hospital for some tests.


I spent a week there and they done every test imaginable. Physically, I was in perfect health. I was diagnosed with suffering from ĎDepressioní or in laymans terms, that awful phrase Ďof suffering with his nervesí. I had never heard of the word before.


I was sent to see a psychiatrist in my local day care hospital. I was 19 years of age in a waiting room surrounded by people much older than I was. Surely I am not the only young person suffering from depression, I thought to myself. There was a vacant look in all of their eyes, a hollowness, an emptiness, the feeling of darkness pervaded the room. The psychiatrist explained that there might be a chemical imbalance in my brain,  asked me my symptoms and prescribed a mixture of anti depressants, anxiety and sleeping pills based on what I told him. He explained that it would take time to get the right cocktail of tablets for my type of depression. I had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing. Something deep inside in me told me this wasnít the way forward and this wasnít what I needed. As I walked out a group of people in another room with intellectual disabilities were doing various things. One man had a teaching device in front of him and he was trying to put a square piece into a round hole. It summed up perfectly what I felt had just happened to me.


I now stayed in my room all day, only leaving it to go to the bathroom. I locked the door and it was only opened to allow my mother bring me some food. I didnít want to speak to anybody. The only time I left the house was on a Thursday morning to visit the psychiatrist. When everbody had left  to go to work and school, my Mother would bring me my breakfast. I cried nearly all the time. Sometimes she would sit there and cry with me, other times talk with me and hold my hand, tell me that she would do anything to help me get better, other times just sit there quietly whilst I ate the food.


Depression is difficult to explain to people. If you have experienced it there is no need, if you havenít, I donít think there are words adequate to describe its horror. I have had a lot of injuries playing hurling, snapped cruciates, broken bones in my hands 11 times, had my lips sliced in half and all my upper teeth blown out with a dirty pull but none of them come anywhere near the physical pain and mental torture of depression.  It permeates every part of your being, from your head to your toes. It is never ending, waves and waves of utter despair and hopelessness and fear and darkness flood throughout your whole body.  You crave for peace but even sleep doesnít afford that. It wrecks your dreams and turns your days into a living nightmare. It destroys your personality, your relationship with your family and friends, your work, your sporting life, it affects them all. Your ability to give and receive affection is gone. You tear at your skin and your hair with frustration. You cut yourself to give some form of physical expression to the incredible pain you feel. You want to grab it and smash it, but you canít get a hold of it.  You go to sleep hoping, praying not to wake up. You rack your brain seeing is there something you done in your life that justifies this suffering. You wonder why God is not answering your pleas for relief and you wonder is he there at all or has he forgotten about you. And through it all remains the darkness. Itís as if someone placed a veil over your soul and never returned to remove it. This endless, black, never ending tunnel of darkness.


I had been five months in my room now. I had watched the summer turn into the autumn and then to Winter through my bedroom window. One of the most difficult things was watching my teammates parade through the town after winning the U21 championship through it. That was the real world out there. In here in my room was a living hell. I was now on about 18 tablets a day and not getting better but worse. I was eating very little but the medication was ballooning my weight to nearly twenty stone. I was sent to see another psychiatrist and another doctor who suggested electric shock therapy which I flatly refused. It was obvious to me I was never going to get better. My desire for death was now much stronger than my desire for living so I made a decision.


I had been contemplating suicide for a while now and when I finally decided and planned it out, a strange thing happened. A peace that I hadnít experienced for a long time entered my mind and body. For the first time in years, I could get a good nightís sleep. It was as if my body realized that this pain it was going through was about to end and it went into relax mode. I had the rope hidden in my room. I knew there was a game on a Saturday evening and that my father and the lads would be gone to that. After my Mother and sister would be gone to Mass, I would drive to the location and hang myself. I didnít feel any anxiety about it.  It would solve everything, I thought. No more pain, both for me and my family. They were suffering as well as I was and I felt with me gone, it would make life easier for them. How wrong I would have been. I have seen the effects and damage suicide has on families. It is far,far greater than anything endured while living and helping a person with depression.


For some reason  my Mother never went to Mass. I donít know why but she didnít go. It was a decision on her part that saved my life.


The following week, a family that I had worked for when I was younger heard about me being unwell. They rang my Mother and told them that they knew a clinical psychologist working in a private practice that they felt could help me. I had built up my hopes too many times over the last number of months that a new doctor, a new tablet, a new treatment was going to help and had them dashed when he or it failed to help me. I wasnít going through it again. My mother pleaded to give him a try and eventually I agreed. It was a decision on my part that would save my life.


After meeting Tony, I instantly knew this was what I had been searching for. It was the complete opposite of what I felt when I was being prescribed tablets and electric shock therapy. We sat opposite each other in a converted cottage at the side of his house with a fire lighting in the corner. He looked at me with his warm eyes and said ĎI hear you havenít been too well. How are you feelingí. It wasnít even the question, it was the way he asked it. I looked at him for about a minute or so and I began to cry. When the tears stopped, I talked and he listened intently. Driving home with my mother that night, I cried again but it wasnít tears of sadness, it was tears of joy. I knew that evening I was going to better. There was finally a chink of light in the darkness.


 Therapy is a challenging experience. Itís not easy baring your soul. When you sit in front of another human being and discuss things you have never discussed with anyone, it can be quite scary. Paulo Coelho says in one of his books that ĎA man is at his strongest when he is willing to be vulnerableí. Sadly, society conditions men to be the opposite and views vulnerability as a weakness. For therapy to work, a person has to be willing to be vulnerable.  Within a week, I was off all medication. For me, medication was never the answer.  My path back to health was one of making progress, then slipping and making progress again. It was far from straightforward.


 I had to face up to memories I had buried from being bullied quite a lot when I was a young kid. Some of it occurred in primary school, others in secondary. It was raw and emotional re-visiting those times but it had to be done.


 A lot of my identity was tied up with hurling and it was an un-healthy relationship. The ironic thing is that as I began to live my life more from the inside out and appreciate and value myself for being me and not needing hurling for my self esteem, I loved the game more than ever. I got myself super fit and my weight down to 13 and a half stone. I made the Cloyne Senior team and went on to play with the Cork Senior hurling team, making a cameo appearance in the final of 2006. It is still one of the biggest joys of my life playing hurling with Cloyne, despite losing three County finals and an All-Ireland with Cork. Being involved with the Cloyne team was a huge aid in my recovery and my teammates gave me great support during that time. 


 I went back to serve my time as an electrician. I went to college by night and re-discovered my joy of learning. I work for a great company and have a good life now. I finished therapy in 2004. I have not had a panic attack in that time and have not missed a dayís work because of depression since then.   


I came to realise that depression was not my enemy but my friend.  I donít say this lightly. I know the damage it does to people and the lives it has wrecked and is wrecking so I am only talking for myself. How can you say something that nearly killed you was your friend? The best coaches I have ever dealt with are those that tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. You mightnít like it at the time but after or maybe years later, you know they were right. I believe depression is a message from a part of your being to tell you something in your life isnít right and you need to look at it.  It forced me to stop and seek within for answers and that is where they are. It encouraged me to look at my inner life and free myself from the things that were preventing me from expressing my full being. The poet David Whyte says Ďthe soul would much rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone elseísí.                 


 This is an ongoing process. I am still far from living a fully, authentic life but I am very comfortable now in my own skin. Once or twice a year, especially when I fall into old habits, my Ďfriendí pays me a visit. I donít push him away or ignore him. I sit with him in a chair in a quiet room and allow him to come. I sit with the feeling. Sometimes I cry, other times I smile at how accurate his message is. He might stay for an hour, he might stay for a day. He gives his message and moves on. He reminds me to stay true to myself and keep in touch with my real self. A popular quote from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu is Ďa journey of 1000 miles begins with a single stepí. A correct translation of the original Chinese though is Ďa journey of a thousand miles begins beneath oneís feetí. Lao Tzu believed that action was something that arose naturally from stillness. When you can sit and be with yourself, it is a wonderful gift and real and authentic action flows from it.


 Many, many people are living lives of quiet misery. I get calls from people on the phone and to my house because people in my area will know my story. Sometimes it is for themselves, other times it is asking if I would talk to another person. Iím not a doctor or a therapist and anyone I talk to in distress, I always encourage them to go to both but people find it easier at first to talk to someone who has been in their shoes. It is incredible the amount of people it affects. Depression affects all types of people, young and old, working and not working, wealthy and poor.


For those people who are currently gripped by depression, either experiencing it or are supporting or living with someone with it, I hope my story helps.  There is no situation that is without hope, there is no person that canít overcome their present difficulties. For those that are suffering silently, there is help out there and you are definitely not alone. Everything you need to succeed is already within you and you have all the answers to your own issues. A good therapist will facilitate that process. My mother always says Ďa manís courage is his greatest assetí. It is an act of courage and strength, not weakness, to admit you are struggling. It is an act of courage to seek help. It is an act of courage to face up to your problems.


 An old saying goes Ďthere is a safety in being hidden, but a tragedy never to be foundí. You are too precious and important to your family, your friends, your community, to yourself, to stay hidden. In the history of the world and for the rest of time, there will never again be another you. You are a once off, completely unique. The real you awaits within to be found but to get there requires a journey inwards . A boat is at its safest when it is in the harbour but thatís not what it was built to do. We are the same.  Your journey in will unearth buried truths and unspoken fears.  A new strength will emerge to help you to head into the choppy waters of your painful past. Eventually you will discover a place of peace within yourself, a place that encourages you to head out into the world and live your life fully.  The world will no longer be a frightening place to live in for you.


The most important thing is to take the first step. Please take it.                       



http://ccusack111.blogspot.ie/2013/10/depression-is-friend-not-my-enemy_28.html
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 28, 2013, 10:43:28 PM
I've been suffering from depression myself on and off for over the last 13 years.
I'll talk more about it later.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 28, 2013, 10:58:11 PM
Fascinating account by Mr Cusack.

A common theme I'm seeing in a lot of comments is a reluctance to use medication.  I think medication should only be used in the worst possible scenario, like if someone imagining detailed plans about how to end it all, that I would consider an emergency.

Speaking of artificial v natural solutions, I've been incrementally improving my diet over the years.  I phased out fast food about three years ago, alcohol consumption is slashed to negligible amounts, and I've been vegetarian for nearly two years.  I think there's been a corrolation between that and an improved ability to get through the winter.  I used to positively dread Christmas because I knew that a depressive state was almost inevitable, but it has bothered me less and less as time has gone on.  I've actually gotten to a place now where I find the winters comforting because I can enjoy the sensation of staying warm when it's cold outside. (It gets cold enough in Nnorthern California that it can be uncomfortable to go outside without a jacket.)

Fionntamhnach, take your time.  You might want to think about getting it all down on paper or into a text editor even if you have no intention of sharing it with anyone.  Sometimes the act of writing your thoughts and feelings can be therapeutic in itself.  It gets you to fully recognize and express what you're going through, and any time I've done it I've felt like a ship pointing straight into heavy waves going at full ahead and out the other side of the storm.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on October 28, 2013, 11:14:31 PM
I've been suffering from depression myself on and off for over the last 13 years.
I'll talk more about it later.

Fair play mate, tough stuff
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 29, 2013, 09:16:00 AM
That's a great blog by Conor Cusack, and I think the way that psychiatrists in this country throw out medication to anyone who crosses their path is disgraceful and really dangerous. From my own experience, I went through a phase(well a few years, if you can call that a phase) of drinking way too much accompanied with self-destructive behavior and drug taking. This led to depression and suicide attempts. I regularly wound up in treatment centres and psychiatric hospitals where psychiatrists were always quick to put me on medication. Luckily I came off it just as quickly myself every time and when I changed my lifestyle  (quit drinking, smoking and taking drugs, started doing loads of exercise and playing sports again, hung around with different people) my life started to change. Now, I'm a teacher, I recently got married and we're trying for a kid. Life isn't perfect but I don't need medication to cope, thankfully. I know there are people who need it, but as Eamon said it should be a last resort and not the first one as it seems to be for Irish psychiatrists.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on October 29, 2013, 10:17:22 AM
That account by Conor Cusack is beyond words really. Isnt it amazing how meeting a pyschologist who actually listens deeply can be the starting point to turn the tide and God bless his Mum for not going to mass, i am sure her intuition sensed something that evening.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on October 29, 2013, 01:43:35 PM
That's a great blog by Conor Cusack, and I think the way that psychiatrists in this country throw out medication to anyone who crosses their path is disgraceful and really dangerous. From my own experience, I went through a phase(well a few years, if you can call that a phase) of drinking way too much accompanied with self-destructive behavior and drug taking. This led to depression and suicide attempts. I regularly wound up in treatment centres and psychiatric hospitals where psychiatrists were always quick to put me on medication. Luckily I came off it just as quickly myself every time and when I changed my lifestyle  (quit drinking, smoking and taking drugs, started doing loads of exercise and playing sports again, hung around with different people) my life started to change. Now, I'm a teacher, I recently got married and we're trying for a kid. Life isn't perfect but I don't need medication to cope, thankfully. I know there are people who need it, but as Eamon said it should be a last resort and not the first one as it seems to be for Irish psychiatrists.
Sorry to hear of your troubles Asal...
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: wherefromreferee? on October 29, 2013, 02:00:20 PM
In a strange way, I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread - almost in a "I'm glad to know there are people out there like me" way, if that makes sense.  Another good read is that of Alan O'Mara below.

http://www.gaa.ie/gaa-news-and-videos/daily-news/1/2605130949-a-footballers-story/

To his friends and family, ALAN OíMARA was living the dream. But beneath the surface, the young Cavan goalkeeper was caught in a nightmare world from which he could see no way out. He felt trapped, and alone. He has bravely penned his story so that others might reach out. Help is never far away . . .
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: cicfada on October 29, 2013, 07:29:39 PM
Conor Cusack works in the same place as myself . I asked him today was it Niall donoghues death that spurred to write his blog but he said that it was coincidental ! A great piece and he will be on rte prime time tonight talking about it! It's a pity Niall didn't get to read the article , it might have helped him !
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: haveaharp on October 29, 2013, 07:38:31 PM
Not taking the proverbial in the slightest lads but how do you know you are depressed / suffering with clinical depression. What would the outward signs be? For example how do you know you just not a miserable so and so ?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 29, 2013, 07:59:17 PM
In a strange way, I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread - almost in a "I'm glad to know there are people out there like me" way, if that makes sense.  Another good read is that of Alan O'Mara below.

http://www.gaa.ie/gaa-news-and-videos/daily-news/1/2605130949-a-footballers-story/

To his friends and family, ALAN OíMARA was living the dream. But beneath the surface, the young Cavan goalkeeper was caught in a nightmare world from which he could see no way out. He felt trapped, and alone. He has bravely penned his story so that others might reach out. Help is never far away . . .

Here is a thread on that with a particularly powerful post from Lar Naparka.

http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=23272.0 (http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=23272.0)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on October 29, 2013, 08:14:13 PM
That's a great blog by Conor Cusack, and I think the way that psychiatrists in this country throw out medication to anyone who crosses their path is disgraceful and really dangerous. From my own experience, I went through a phase(well a few years, if you can call that a phase) of drinking way too much accompanied with self-destructive behavior and drug taking. This led to depression and suicide attempts. I regularly wound up in treatment centres and psychiatric hospitals where psychiatrists were always quick to put me on medication. Luckily I came off it just as quickly myself every time and when I changed my lifestyle  (quit drinking, smoking and taking drugs, started doing loads of exercise and playing sports again, hung around with different people) my life started to change. Now, I'm a teacher, I recently got married and we're trying for a kid. Life isn't perfect but I don't need medication to cope, thankfully. I know there are people who need it, but as Eamon said it should be a last resort and not the first one as it seems to be for Irish psychiatrists.
What prompted you to change things yourself and what helped you make those changes happen?
I don't think there should be hard and fast rules either way with medication, there is such a thing as the appropriate managed prescription. The main negative issue is that you have practitioners trying to manage depressed patients and they are way out of their depth. Just giving a prescription to them is admitting that I can't manage this patient, I can't talk to this patient, I haven't the time, the curiosity or the life skills - maturity/experience/compassion, to listen to this patient.
And because depression is recognised as a medical disease, medical doctors are licensed to treat it with medication, without any requirement to counsel the patient. Depression is treated like an infection.
I certainly wouldn't expect a harassed MD to have the time or appropriate setup, to deal with a depressed patient.
 Another major issue is that every type of depression, even mild anxiety, is lumped under a medical diagnosis of depression. A student can have anxiety issues about exams and next thing they are prescribed SSRIs and after a month of those, they have worse issues to deal with. The effects of the medication are worse than the original complaint.
In Conor Cusack's  case, somebody sat with him and gave him the space to let him tell his story and probably for the first time ever, he made connections in his life, between his depression and his childhood experiences. I just can't imagine what despair he went through before that.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnneycool on October 29, 2013, 08:31:33 PM
Theres some enlightening and thought provoking insights into depression in this thread and larnaparkas previous one and for someone like myself whose father is currently being treated in the conventional way with tablets is of great benefit.
If only to have more empathy with him and his suffering which i know is very frustrating for my mother to deal with.

On the wider issue it seems more common than you're led to believe as there are very few families i know haven't been  directly affected either with depression itself or sadly suicide.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Farrandeelin on October 29, 2013, 10:18:15 PM
2012 was one of the worst years I've ever had - from a personal health point of view. Thought about ending my life more than once. I was sick and tired of not getting anywhere with jobs/women etc. I felt like my friends were sidlining me by not asking me out with them...granted this happens now, but not to the same degree. I generally felt that the world would be better off without me around. To be honest, I don't know how I snapped out of it, maybe I wasn't deeply depressed for long enough, but it was scary.

I must have had at least 7 or 8 epileptic seizures last year too (not a lot - I know, but when you're only 24/25 you're wondering will you be like this for life etc). Maybe that added up as to why I was so down in the dumps, I don't know.

I still get an odd seizure. I was also born with a heart condition too, and that prevented me from playing football which would have had me as part of a team to share my problems with maybe... I feel like I'm rambling on here now so I'll stop, seen as it's a self-centred post.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on October 29, 2013, 10:31:44 PM
2012 was one of the worst years I've ever had - from a personal health point of view. Thought about ending my life more than once. I was sick and tired of not getting anywhere with jobs/women etc. I felt like my friends were sidlining me by not asking me out with them...granted this happens now, but not to the same degree. I generally felt that the world would be better off without me around. To be honest, I don't know how I snapped out of it, maybe I wasn't deeply depressed for long enough, but it was scary.

I must have had at least 7 or 8 epileptic seizures last year too (not a lot - I know, but when you're only 24/25 you're wondering will you be like this for life etc). Maybe that added up as to why I was so down in the dumps, I don't know.

I still get an odd seizure. I was also born with a heart condition too, and that prevented me from playing football which would have had me as part of a team to share my problems with maybe... I feel like I'm rambling on here now so I'll stop, seen as it's a self-centred post.
Have you ever read Lawnseed's posts?!  :D

You have had plenty on your plate to be down in the dumps about so there is no shame in that. If the gaaboard is a starting point to getting lads on the road to getting their thoughts "down on paper" then it is worth the millions of posts of pure drivel.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: From the Bunker on October 29, 2013, 10:53:36 PM
2012 was one of the worst years I've ever had - from a personal health point of view. Thought about ending my life more than once. I was sick and tired of not getting anywhere with jobs/women etc. I felt like my friends were sidlining me by not asking me out with them...granted this happens now, but not to the same degree. I generally felt that the world would be better off without me around. To be honest, I don't know how I snapped out of it, maybe I wasn't deeply depressed for long enough, but it was scary.

I must have had at least 7 or 8 epileptic seizures last year too (not a lot - I know, but when you're only 24/25 you're wondering will you be like this for life etc). Maybe that added up as to why I was so down in the dumps, I don't know.

I still get an odd seizure. I was also born with a heart condition too, and that prevented me from playing football which would have had me as part of a team to share my problems with maybe... I feel like I'm rambling on here now so I'll stop, seen as it's a self-centred post.

Jez Farr, bar you always being pessimistic on the success of your club and county you always come across on this board as a upbeat lad!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tubberman on October 29, 2013, 11:12:25 PM
2012 was one of the worst years I've ever had - from a personal health point of view. Thought about ending my life more than once. I was sick and tired of not getting anywhere with jobs/women etc. I felt like my friends were sidlining me by not asking me out with them...granted this happens now, but not to the same degree. I generally felt that the world would be better off without me around. To be honest, I don't know how I snapped out of it, maybe I wasn't deeply depressed for long enough, but it was scary.

I must have had at least 7 or 8 epileptic seizures last year too (not a lot - I know, but when you're only 24/25 you're wondering will you be like this for life etc). Maybe that added up as to why I was so down in the dumps, I don't know.

I still get an odd seizure. I was also born with a heart condition too, and that prevented me from playing football which would have had me as part of a team to share my problems with maybe... I feel like I'm rambling on here now so I'll stop, seen as it's a self-centred post.

Jesus Farr, wouldn't have thought you had all that going on in your life, but then all I know is your online posts which isn't much to go on.
Glad to hear you're getting on better now. Things can change for the better very quickly and unexpectedly in life, nothing is permanent only death.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 29, 2013, 11:56:36 PM
I still find it difficult to deal with those in depression in the same way as with alcoholics or any addiction, as in working hard to empathise with something you cannot experience.

You're right, it very difficult for most people to relate.  I can give you a list of what not to say:


The latter is particularly hurtful.  To the speaker it sounds perfectly logical, and you might expect the victim to think "Oh that's right, hadn't thought of that, I'll snap out of it now."  To the victim, it sounds like this:

"You've got no business being depressed.  The way you're feeling is completely illogical, therefore you're doing it wrong, therefore it's your own fault that you've gotten yourself into this state, and I refuse to have any sympathy."

As for the others, if it was as simple as just "cheering up" then I'm pretty sure the victim would have thought of it and done it by now.

The correct thing to say:


Best thing to do is let them talk, and don't react in a judgmental way that'll inhibit them from speaking.  Best of all, persuade them to speak to a counsellor.  They're trained to deal with this sort of thing.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ONeill on October 30, 2013, 12:03:19 AM
I still find it difficult to deal with those in depression in the same way as with alcoholics or any addiction, as in working hard to empathise with something you cannot experience.

You're right, it very difficult for most people to relate.  I can give you a list of what not to say:

  • Cheer up
  • Snap out of it
  • Pull yourself together
  • But look at all the positive things you've got going for you.  You've got x. You've got y. You've got z.  How can you possibly be depressed?

The latter is particularly hurtful.  To the speaker it sounds perfectly logical, and you might expect the victim to think "Oh that's right, hadn't thought of that, I'll snap out of it now."  To the victim, it sounds like this:

"You've got no business being depressed.  The way you're feeling is completely illogical, therefore you're doing it wrong, therefore it's your own fault that you've gotten yourself into this state, and I refuse to have any sympathy."

As for the others, if it was as simple as just "cheering up" then I'm pretty sure the victim would have thought of it and done it by now.

The correct thing to say:

  • That must be very distressing

Best thing to do is let them talk, and don't react in a judgmental way that'll inhibit them from speaking.  Best of all, persuade them to speak to a counsellor.  They're trained to deal with this sort of thing.

That's exactly the information I was after. I was recently contacted by someone who said they were depressed and I used the 'sure look what you have' line. They looked at me blankly and told me they knew what I was saying but it meant nothing to them.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: turk on October 30, 2013, 12:35:42 AM
Excellent informations and very important insights from all round.
Strength to all here and sincere best wishes
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ross4life on October 30, 2013, 12:49:22 AM
Fair play to all those that has spoken out thus far. Thankfully i have never suffered from depression myself but my family has a long history of it TBH seeing your loved ones suffer so badly is heartbreaking.

In early 80s one of my family members was diagnosed with bipolar disorder right up to 2007 he was in and out of this condition but the years of abuse by medication and electric shocks (ECT) means now he can no longer fend for himself, so as you can imagine from what i have witnessed i think you should only use medication in the worst possible scenarios.

Some good tips on here like keeping yourself fit & eating,sleeping well i suppose its about keeping the mind active & try to lower the stress in your life.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on October 30, 2013, 08:04:36 AM
I still find it difficult to deal with those in depression in the same way as with alcoholics or any addiction, as in working hard to empathise with something you cannot experience.

You're right, it very difficult for most people to relate.  I can give you a list of what not to say:

  • Cheer up
  • Snap out of it
  • Pull yourself together
  • But look at all the positive things you've got going for you.  You've got x. You've got y. You've got z.  How can you possibly be depressed?

The latter is particularly hurtful.  To the speaker it sounds perfectly logical, and you might expect the victim to think "Oh that's right, hadn't thought of that, I'll snap out of it now."  To the victim, it sounds like this:

"You've got no business being depressed.  The way you're feeling is completely illogical, therefore you're doing it wrong, therefore it's your own fault that you've gotten yourself into this state, and I refuse to have any sympathy."

As for the others, if it was as simple as just "cheering up" then I'm pretty sure the victim would have thought of it and done it by now.

The correct thing to say:

  • That must be very distressing

Best thing to do is let them talk, and don't react in a judgmental way that'll inhibit them from speaking.  Best of all, persuade them to speak to a counsellor.  They're trained to deal with this sort of thing.
Because in my experience there was alot health issues over the yrs which impacted my mental health, id like to add a few, please dont say to anyone who is suffering illness the following:

1. Its all in your head (this is for those with a rare illness, ME, CFS etc.. as part of it and is like a dagger to the heart)
2. your making it up
3. Think positive

When i was in dark nights of soul and when the chips were down i faced excruciating physical pain, no energy, mental torture followed because of illnesses and life circumstances and people saying the above and examples eamonn has given pushed me closer to the brink. There was a time i actually considered running away from it all because of the shame and guilt i felt, and id have alot of compassion for homeless people as a result. Luckily i never turned to drink or drugs and instead turned to books and alternative therapies.

Alternative therapy is worth its wait in gold, actually my advise to anyone would be  create healthy diet, even organic if you can and then do as many alternative therapies as possible before looking at conventional medication. One Alternative therapy could trigger massive healing. Remember your energy body exists and you could be like me and obsorbing others negativity and taking it on as your own aswell.

Ive done Reflexology, crainio, shamanic healing, primal healing, NLP, acupuncture, sweat lodges, homeopathy, hynotherapy, reiki, pranic healing, energy healing, kinesology etc....

They are all worth their weight in gold, great healing experiences and massive changes ensued in my life, meet great people aswell who know how to listen, the biggest turning point was curing something i was told there was no cure for. And also having great spiritual experiences along the way and dissolving the reactions of my ego and becoming who i want to be rather than what everyone wanted me to be.

I have to say i am so proud of this thread too, to be able to tell your story and share it will save lives but also standing proud in front of the human race with all your vunerabilities exposed you should acknowledge within yourself that feat because its is massive.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on October 30, 2013, 09:24:09 AM
I still find it difficult to deal with those in depression in the same way as with alcoholics or any addiction, as in working hard to empathise with something you cannot experience.

You're right, it very difficult for most people to relate.  I can give you a list of what not to say:

  • Cheer up
  • Snap out of it
  • Pull yourself together
  • But look at all the positive things you've got going for you.  You've got x. You've got y. You've got z.  How can you possibly be depressed?

The latter is particularly hurtful.  To the speaker it sounds perfectly logical, and you might expect the victim to think "Oh that's right, hadn't thought of that, I'll snap out of it now."  To the victim, it sounds like this:

"You've got no business being depressed.  The way you're feeling is completely illogical, therefore you're doing it wrong, therefore it's your own fault that you've gotten yourself into this state, and I refuse to have any sympathy."

As for the others, if it was as simple as just "cheering up" then I'm pretty sure the victim would have thought of it and done it by now.

The correct thing to say:

  • That must be very distressing

Best thing to do is let them talk, and don't react in a judgmental way that'll inhibit them from speaking.  Best of all, persuade them to speak to a counsellor.  They're trained to deal with this sort of thing.

That's exactly the information I was after. I was recently contacted by someone who said they were depressed and I used the 'sure look what you have' line. They looked at me blankly and told me they knew what I was saying but it meant nothing to them.

Yeah this type of stuff will surely help those who have friends and family suffering from depression, that sorta stuff unfortunately runs of the tongue and while it is meant as a pick me up it seems to do no good and you as a friend, actually feel worse for saying it.

Everyone here is concerned and positively posting, great thread, best thread for a while and has united a lot of posters from there usual back bitting of each other, well for a while anyways ;)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: glens abu on October 30, 2013, 09:41:19 AM
Great thread lads and some very good posts,there is great help out there now for anyone worried about friends or relatives..A good friend of mine lost his son a few years ago and formed a group in Belfast called PIPS 02890287836.They provide training for groups to help them be more aware of the risks of suicide.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 30, 2013, 11:07:55 AM

What prompted you to change things yourself and what helped you make those changes happen?


Well I got a lot of help in fairness. I did the alcoholism treatment program in John of Gods, Stillorgan and the people there were awesome. They helped me to feel like a half-decent human being again and I met some amazing people in AA too who've helped me to learn a whole new way of life. Sobriety has been a tough, painful journey and still is at times but I know I'm on the right road anyway.

I'm not knocking medication, just doctors who prescribe it too freely. I know the things that worked for me might not work for the next lad.

Best of luck to everyone with the troubles they've shared on here.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ballinaman on October 30, 2013, 11:32:53 AM
2012 was one of the worst years I've ever had - from a personal health point of view. Thought about ending my life more than once. I was sick and tired of not getting anywhere with jobs/women etc. I felt like my friends were sidlining me by not asking me out with them...granted this happens now, but not to the same degree. I generally felt that the world would be better off without me around. To be honest, I don't know how I snapped out of it, maybe I wasn't deeply depressed for long enough, but it was scary.

I must have had at least 7 or 8 epileptic seizures last year too (not a lot - I know, but when you're only 24/25 you're wondering will you be like this for life etc). Maybe that added up as to why I was so down in the dumps, I don't know.

I still get an odd seizure. I was also born with a heart condition too, and that prevented me from playing football which would have had me as part of a team to share my problems with maybe... I feel like I'm rambling on here now so I'll stop, seen as it's a self-centred post.
Had no idea chief, fair play for putting it out there. I'll be down west a fair bit more in the new year so give us a shout whenever.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 30, 2013, 11:50:01 AM
Very good post by the way Main Street. You're bang on about doctors treating depression like an infection.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Count 10 on October 30, 2013, 04:47:39 PM
Can I just say a big thank you to all who have contributed to this topic, it's amazing to think you are on your own only to discover there are plenty in the same boat.
I hope all of us who are suffering with demons get the help we need, because life is for living and is much richer for having us all in it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: CroŪ na h…ireann on October 30, 2013, 05:01:58 PM
Well done and very brave. Not many talk about it and thousands more should. I know a few people with a similar type of depression as what you describe EamonM, and God knows theres several different types.

Have you tried a Seasonal adjustment light for the house you live in? I know when winter comes, some of them get very dpwn, until they start to use the light, and that gives them enough to see them through the dark days.

Another great crowd who can help and have a big link with the Dubs is Pieta house www.pieta.ie and I know a few peiple who use them. All volunteers too. Top people.

Best wishes to all here who are in dark times. there is hope

Good call, maybe we could do something for them charity-wise again?

A run?
A cycle?
A 5-aside soccer tournament?
A golf outing?

Something else?


A 7 aside GAA tournament?

Great idea BCB, could play it under lights and give people something to look forward to as the nights draw in?

Something that brought Alan O'Meara back from the brink and I would ask anyone reading this on here who finds themselves about to make that life ending decision is to imagine their parents, brothers, sisters, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, friends of friends at their funeral and the utter distraught that their death will bring. Then once you step back from the cliff, read Conor Cusack's blog, watch his interview, pick up the phone, reach out to someone, anyone.

I've seen first hand the devastation caused by suicide and it is extensive. We lost my brother in law early last year and truth be told some semblance of normality is only returning now. Birthday celebrations have been replaced with the annual blessing of the graves, Christmas and Easter mornings are not complete now without a visit to the grave and the sense of loss is always there in the background.

So if you think people won't miss you, they will. If you think people will be better off without you, they won't. Reach out, don't give up.

Continued best wishes to those who suffer from mental illness and to those left behind as a result of it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: squire_in_navy_slacks on October 30, 2013, 06:41:14 PM
Suffering about 19 years now..................panic attacks and then rolled in the depression, will talk more about it but lost a great job, and turned to the bottle to medicate the mind................................sober 3 and half years now, turned a corner there but its still with me every day
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on October 30, 2013, 07:50:04 PM
Suffering about 19 years now..................panic attacks and then rolled in the depression, will talk more about it but lost a great job, and turned to the bottle to medicate the mind................................sober 3 and half years now, turned a corner there but its still with me every day

Sent pm there, anyone suffering or coping with panic attacks has to read Claire Weekes books, i reversed the symptoms almost completely with her words and advice. Haven't had one in 3 yrs now.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on October 30, 2013, 08:45:11 PM
It must be some book if it got you through getting beat by London.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DrinkingHarp on October 31, 2013, 01:53:50 AM
Now I know this is not absolute but it is interesting....

http://health.yahoo.net/articles/depression/pasta-could-be-making-you-depressed
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: theskull1 on October 31, 2013, 02:19:23 AM
Have really enjoyed (if that the right: word???..I say it is) the detail (honesty) in this thread. Seriously insightful stuff.

Does anyone think it`s possible that to immunize the next generation by presenting to them coping strategies that they could employ come difficult times. (Or maybe I haven't a feckin clue).
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: the Deel Rover on October 31, 2013, 07:38:45 AM
2012 was one of the worst years I've ever had - from a personal health point of view. Thought about ending my life more than once. I was sick and tired of not getting anywhere with jobs/women etc. I felt like my friends were sidlining me by not asking me out with them...granted this happens now, but not to the same degree. I generally felt that the world would be better off without me around. To be honest, I don't know how I snapped out of it, maybe I wasn't deeply depressed for long enough, but it was scary.

I must have had at least 7 or 8 epileptic seizures last year too (not a lot - I know, but when you're only 24/25 you're wondering will you be like this for life etc). Maybe that added up as to why I was so down in the dumps, I don't know.

I still get an odd seizure. I was also born with a heart condition too, and that prevented me from playing football which would have had me as part of a team to share my problems with maybe... I feel like I'm rambling on here now so I'll stop, seen as it's a self-centred post.
Had no idea chief, fair play for putting it out there. I'll be down west a fair bit more in the new year so give us a shout whenever.

+ 1 Far anytime at all give us a shout. This is probably the best thread that I have read in all my years on the board . Will comment more later when I have more time.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rudi on October 31, 2013, 09:59:12 AM
Its good to see so many people finally coming out and talking about this. Two of my family suffer from this. It would appear their is no cure, the sufferer has to learn to manage it on a daily basis. A good psychologist, listerner are the best sources of comfort.
 On a personal level have got 3 bouts of chronic depression that lasted about 6-10 hours on 3 occasions over the last 10 years. No explaination just felt a lack of hope and on two of those times wanted to end it all for no apparent reason. I would have a lot to live for and outside of work am generally very happy, but always slightly anxious and can never be fully content in my own shoes. The 3 bouts were very strange, no drugs, alcohol or any apparent reason, it has given me a terrible insight into how a sufferer gets things on a daily basis. I wish all sufferers the very best and hope they find hope and light in their lives again.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ONeill on October 31, 2013, 11:57:12 AM
On a personal level have got 3 bouts of chronic depression that lasted about 6-10 hours on 3 occasions over the last 10 years.

Flip - didn't realise it could be in short spurts.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on October 31, 2013, 12:50:21 PM
Have really enjoyed (if that the right: word???..I say it is) the detail (honesty) in this thread. Seriously insightful stuff.

Does anyone think it`s possible that to immunize the next generation by presenting to them coping strategies that they could employ come difficult times. (Or maybe I haven't a feckin clue).
Was listening to Desert Island Discs in the car this morning and the guest was Prof. Tanya Byron a clinical psychologist you often see on tv in relation to behavioural issues in teenagers. She believes the situation is getting wprse due to extreme exam pressure where even a rake of A* grades might not be enough to get the course you want. Also, due to the perception (or reality depending on your view) that society is more dangerous now, children are growing up in a risk-averse bubble of sitting in the house watching tv, playing computer games or at best playing in the garden. Children aren't riding bikes to school, climbing trees and getting into the scrapes we would so we are bringing up a generation less able to cope with the harsh realities of the job market, rejection etc.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 31, 2013, 12:57:01 PM
On a personal level have got 3 bouts of chronic depression that lasted about 6-10 hours on 3 occasions over the last 10 years.

Flip - didn't realise it could be in short spurts.

Yea that is amazing it can come at you like that. It is hard to have developed a coping mechanism for something you don't normally have to cope with.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: rodney trotter on October 31, 2013, 04:58:11 PM
Show on tonight, TV3, 7:30.. interview with Cavan Goalie Alan O Mara who had dealt with depression http://www.hoganstand.com/Cavan/ArticleForm.aspx?ID=203771
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 31, 2013, 05:17:43 PM
Conor Cusack on Prime time last night

http://www.rte.ie/player/ch/show/10217449/
at around 43 mins

He did a powerful job.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on November 01, 2013, 12:11:56 AM
What I didn't expect from starting this thread was to see how widespread this is. It seems like we've all either suffered from it or know someone who has. Seems to be more common than I'd have imagined.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: imtommygunn on November 01, 2013, 09:09:22 AM
Are the stats not supposed to be very high - something like 1 in 3 will suffer from some form of depression at some time in their life?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ThroughTheLaces on November 01, 2013, 11:37:07 PM
Somebody asked the question before and nobody really picked up on it, but how do you know if you're depressed? I know that sounds like a silly question but I often find myself feeling very low, even though I've a pretty good life at the minute.  When I say 'low' I mean, I could be in a crowd of people and I could just be in a completely different place in my head, thinking an awful lot, wondering if I've made the correct decisions in my life, maybe I should have done this, maybe I shouldn't have done that etc. Obviously there are various stages / cases of depression, but what is the difference from me being depressed and just being a little bitch and feeling sorry for myself? I wouldn't say im moody but id go from full of life to very reserved.  Bad relationship experience and work probably fuelled it more than usual. That's a few months ago and in that time ive taken a serious amount of drink. Not what I would call 'bad drinking' ie sitting on my own at the bar, ive enjoyed the company but once the bars shut and everyone goes home the heads away into overdrive again. I also know it does no good whatsoever. I've probably tried to talk to a few people about it but that's only when the drinks in, and I know that's not the way to go about it. I wouldn't say im massively depressed, im normally a very outgoing and optimistic person, but the last few months just feels like no matter what I do theres something missing and I can never get full enjoyment out of anything. Its not the normal me and I thought it would pass, but it hasn't.  As I said, I don't want to insult anyone with my small problems as there seem to be a lot of serious sufferers here. Im just trying to distinguish whether or not I have some form of depression / bi-polar? or im just feeling sorry for myself.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on November 02, 2013, 05:39:30 AM
Conor Cusack on Prime time last night

http://www.rte.ie/player/ch/show/10217449/
at around 43 mins

He did a powerful job.

Wow! Powerful is the word. Fair play to him. Brave men in that family.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on November 02, 2013, 08:02:59 AM
Somebody asked the question before and nobody really picked up on it, but how do you know if you're depressed? I know that sounds like a silly question but I often find myself feeling very low, even though I've a pretty good life at the minute.  When I say 'low' I mean, I could be in a crowd of people and I could just be in a completely different place in my head, thinking an awful lot, wondering if I've made the correct decisions in my life, maybe I should have done this, maybe I shouldn't have done that etc. Obviously there are various stages / cases of depression, but what is the difference from me being depressed and just being a little bitch and feeling sorry for myself? I wouldn't say im moody but id go from full of life to very reserved.  Bad relationship experience and work probably fuelled it more than usual. That's a few months ago and in that time ive taken a serious amount of drink. Not what I would call 'bad drinking' ie sitting on my own at the bar, ive enjoyed the company but once the bars shut and everyone goes home the heads away into overdrive again. I also know it does no good whatsoever. I've probably tried to talk to a few people about it but that's only when the drinks in, and I know that's not the way to go about it. I wouldn't say im massively depressed, im normally a very outgoing and optimistic person, but the last few months just feels like no matter what I do theres something missing and I can never get full enjoyment out of anything. Its not the normal me and I thought it would pass, but it hasn't.  As I said, I don't want to insult anyone with my small problems as there seem to be a lot of serious sufferers here. Im just trying to distinguish whether or not I have some form of depression / bi-polar? or im just feeling sorry for myself.
For me it sounds like your awakening to a more conscious presence within you, it feels like your becoming more aware of your thoughts, you see most of the world are never aware of their ego or depression etc.. and they go through their whole life unconscious and keeping there mind as busy as possible so they don't have to face any of the internal issues, when you become more aware its a painful experience initially, because you see all the darkness within you and you have choice to keep the mind as busy as possible or face your internal pain and heal it. Depression is where your weighed down by life and suppressing all your issues, and its a dangerous thing because they more you suppressed has a habit of exploding in future into a giant wave. I actually believe we are all depressed at different levels and just some keep there minds busy enough to just ignore it.

For example everyone has an internal dialogue in their head, how many people are even aware of that? Most are identified with it and therefore at the mercy of their ego and mind which means they have no power to control certain reactions within themselves. i would advise you to go deeply into this low feeling and work with it, see it as an invitation to become more conscious, which will bring loads of rewards in terms of feeling more alive and awake eventually after the initial pain. You'll see to that really the external circumstances doesn't really matter too much if the internal is not at peace.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on November 02, 2013, 09:39:12 AM
Somebody asked the question before and nobody really picked up on it, but how do you know if you're depressed? I know that sounds like a silly question but I often find myself feeling very low, even though I've a pretty good life at the minute.  When I say 'low' I mean, I could be in a crowd of people and I could just be in a completely different place in my head, thinking an awful lot, wondering if I've made the correct decisions in my life, maybe I should have done this, maybe I shouldn't have done that etc. Obviously there are various stages / cases of depression, but what is the difference from me being depressed and just being a little bitch and feeling sorry for myself? I wouldn't say im moody but id go from full of life to very reserved.  Bad relationship experience and work probably fuelled it more than usual. That's a few months ago and in that time ive taken a serious amount of drink. Not what I would call 'bad drinking' ie sitting on my own at the bar, ive enjoyed the company but once the bars shut and everyone goes home the heads away into overdrive again. I also know it does no good whatsoever. I've probably tried to talk to a few people about it but that's only when the drinks in, and I know that's not the way to go about it. I wouldn't say im massively depressed, im normally a very outgoing and optimistic person, but the last few months just feels like no matter what I do theres something missing and I can never get full enjoyment out of anything. Its not the normal me and I thought it would pass, but it hasn't.  As I said, I don't want to insult anyone with my small problems as there seem to be a lot of serious sufferers here. Im just trying to distinguish whether or not I have some form of depression / bi-polar? or im just feeling sorry for myself.
For me it sounds like your awakening to a more conscious presence within you, it feels like your becoming more aware of your thoughts, you see most of the world are never aware of their ego or depression etc.. and they go through their whole life unconscious and keeping there mind as busy as possible so they don't have to face any of the internal issues, when you become more aware its a painful experience initially, because you see all the darkness within you and you have choice to keep the mind as busy as possible or face your internal pain and heal it. Depression is where your weighed down by life and suppressing all your issues, and its a dangerous thing because they more you suppressed has a habit of exploding in future into a giant wave. I actually believe we are all depressed at different levels and just some keep there minds busy enough to just ignore it.

For example everyone has an internal dialogue in their head, how many people are even aware of that? Most are identified with it and therefore at the mercy of their ego and mind which means they have no power to control certain reactions within themselves. i would advise you to go deeply into this low feeling and work with it, see it as an invitation to become more conscious, which will bring loads of rewards in terms of feeling more alive and awake eventually after the initial pain. You'll see to that really the external circumstances doesn't really matter too much if the internal is not at peace.

I was wondering how someone would go about answering Throughtthelaces post and I can see why I am better leaving it to people who know what they are talking about. Well done to both of you.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on November 02, 2013, 04:32:47 PM
Somebody asked the question before and nobody really picked up on it, but how do you know if you're depressed? I know that sounds like a silly question but I often find myself feeling very low, even though I've a pretty good life at the minute.  When I say 'low' I mean, I could be in a crowd of people and I could just be in a completely different place in my head, thinking an awful lot, wondering if I've made the correct decisions in my life, maybe I should have done this, maybe I shouldn't have done that etc. Obviously there are various stages / cases of depression, but what is the difference from me being depressed and just being a little bitch and feeling sorry for myself? I wouldn't say im moody but id go from full of life to very reserved.  Bad relationship experience and work probably fuelled it more than usual. That's a few months ago and in that time ive taken a serious amount of drink. Not what I would call 'bad drinking' ie sitting on my own at the bar, ive enjoyed the company but once the bars shut and everyone goes home the heads away into overdrive again. I also know it does no good whatsoever. I've probably tried to talk to a few people about it but that's only when the drinks in, and I know that's not the way to go about it. I wouldn't say im massively depressed, im normally a very outgoing and optimistic person, but the last few months just feels like no matter what I do theres something missing and I can never get full enjoyment out of anything. Its not the normal me and I thought it would pass, but it hasn't.  As I said, I don't want to insult anyone with my small problems as there seem to be a lot of serious sufferers here. Im just trying to distinguish whether or not I have some form of depression / bi-polar? or im just feeling sorry for myself.
It might be worth cutting down on the drink for a while and seeing how you feel then. It's good that all your drinking is social but it's still a powerful depressant.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on November 02, 2013, 06:23:56 PM
Somebody asked the question before and nobody really picked up on it, but how do you know if you're depressed? I know that sounds like a silly question but I often find myself feeling very low, even though I've a pretty good life at the minute.  When I say 'low' I mean, I could be in a crowd of people and I could just be in a completely different place in my head, thinking an awful lot, wondering if I've made the correct decisions in my life, maybe I should have done this, maybe I shouldn't have done that etc. Obviously there are various stages / cases of depression, but what is the difference from me being depressed and just being a little bitch and feeling sorry for myself? I wouldn't say im moody but id go from full of life to very reserved.  Bad relationship experience and work probably fuelled it more than usual. That's a few months ago and in that time ive taken a serious amount of drink. Not what I would call 'bad drinking' ie sitting on my own at the bar, ive enjoyed the company but once the bars shut and everyone goes home the heads away into overdrive again. I also know it does no good whatsoever. I've probably tried to talk to a few people about it but that's only when the drinks in, and I know that's not the way to go about it. I wouldn't say im massively depressed, im normally a very outgoing and optimistic person, but the last few months just feels like no matter what I do theres something missing and I can never get full enjoyment out of anything. Its not the normal me and I thought it would pass, but it hasn't.  As I said, I don't want to insult anyone with my small problems as there seem to be a lot of serious sufferers here. Im just trying to distinguish whether or not I have some form of depression / bi-polar? or im just feeling sorry for myself.
For me it sounds like your awakening to a more conscious presence within you, it feels like your becoming more aware of your thoughts, you see most of the world are never aware of their ego or depression etc.. and they go through their whole life unconscious and keeping there mind as busy as possible so they don't have to face any of the internal issues, when you become more aware its a painful experience initially, because you see all the darkness within you and you have choice to keep the mind as busy as possible or face your internal pain and heal it. Depression is where your weighed down by life and suppressing all your issues, and its a dangerous thing because they more you suppressed has a habit of exploding in future into a giant wave. I actually believe we are all depressed at different levels and just some keep there minds busy enough to just ignore it.

For example everyone has an internal dialogue in their head, how many people are even aware of that? Most are identified with it and therefore at the mercy of their ego and mind which means they have no power to control certain reactions within themselves. i would advise you to go deeply into this low feeling and work with it, see it as an invitation to become more conscious, which will bring loads of rewards in terms of feeling more alive and awake eventually after the initial pain. You'll see to that really the external circumstances doesn't really matter too much if the internal is not at peace.

I was wondering how someone would go about answering Throughtthelaces post and I can see why I am better leaving it to people who know what they are talking about. Well done to both of you.
That means a lot, thanks muppet..

I just wanted to share another bit of knowledge i was thinking about today which i gained along the way which i think is relevant, is acknowledgement of that inner voice, that inner pain, your ego, that low feeling they are a part of you too and your past experiences, don't run, face it all and you may stumble, you may fall, you may resist at the start (i know i do) and allow all of that too, but in time, in time you will want to pass through it and you may even get to a place of that deep acceptance and wanting the challenges to grow,  and even if it takes the rest of your life, isn't that a life worth living rather than just running away keeping the mind busy, and being someone your not. Find someone who will allow you the space to be where you don't have to pretend that everything is great even if externally it is but isn't internal all that matters really. Acknowledge, allow and accept (want), release, and move forwardÖ..let life move through you.

Take the first step and you'll realise the above for yourself eventually.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on November 03, 2013, 08:06:25 PM
I wouldn't get too hung up on definitions of what is depression and what isn't because there's a lot of shades of grey.  I would just take the precautions I listed in the OP and try to make sure it doesn't spiral downward into something worse.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: midLouth on November 03, 2013, 08:34:18 PM
Few questions.

I've heard had conversations from time to time with siblings who have had to deal with another sibling committing suicide, do you think it is the person is always suffering from depression? Or chronic depression? I've often wondered with some of the people I've known who've gone through with it whether it was a moment of madness.

The other thing I wonder about, it is often stated that men have a higher suicide rate than women, I'd be interested to know the number of attempted suicide among women. Are men more final about it, I really mean they'll do something there is no return from where as do women choose a method where they are more likely to be saved.

I've been lucky enough never to have suffered from anything even near depression. It does annoy me that there is very little information about how widespread it is throughout Ireland, it might be insensitive to see statistics if you have a family member or friend who have ended their own lives but until there is quantitate information it is hard to grasp just how serious a hold it has on the nation.

If any of this is insensitive send me a pm and I'll remove.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ThroughTheLaces on November 03, 2013, 09:16:38 PM
Sligonian you seem to talk a lot of sense, good to have advice and hear opinions on the whole thing. I'd probably consider myself an over thinker and always have been. I get inside my own head far too much and over analyse things. I always try and look on the positives in my life but even the smallest of negatives can take over my thoughts and it's frustrating. Facing up to the negatives is something I probably don't want to do but as you say perhaps the rewards for doing so will be worth it. Really appreciate the response, thank you for that.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: CroŪ na h…ireann on November 04, 2013, 09:51:48 AM
Heard a nice story over the weekend which might help some here. Friend of a friend was suffering from depression and not really getting anywhere with his psychologist. Psychologist said that writing a letter to his hero may help and to include anything and everything that was bothering him. His hero is a very prolific Irish sports star, adored by some, despised by others. Anyway not only did he get a lovely letter in return but on his birthday he got a phone call from his hero. What's more, he has got a phone call every month since to see how he is doing. And he's doing much better apparently, which was nice to hear. Makes you very proud of all our sports stars who do great work off the field to help people less fortunate than them.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on November 04, 2013, 10:03:04 AM
Heard a nice story over the weekend which might help some here. Friend of a friend was suffering from depression and not really getting anywhere with his psychologist. Psychologist said that writing a letter to his hero may help and to include anything and everything that was bothering him. His hero is a very prolific Irish sports star, adored by some, despised by others. Anyway not only did he get a lovely letter in return but on his birthday he got a phone call from his hero. What's more, he has got a phone call every month since to see how he is doing. And he's doing much better apparently, which was nice to hear. Makes you very proud of all our sports stars who do great work off the field to help people less fortunate than them.

Good story.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: screenexile on November 04, 2013, 10:03:48 AM
Heard a nice story over the weekend which might help some here. Friend of a friend was suffering from depression and not really getting anywhere with his psychologist. Psychologist said that writing a letter to his hero may help and to include anything and everything that was bothering him. His hero is a very prolific Irish sports star, adored by some, despised by others. Anyway not only did he get a lovely letter in return but on his birthday he got a phone call from his hero. What's more, he has got a phone call every month since to see how he is doing. And he's doing much better apparently, which was nice to hear. Makes you very proud of all our sports stars who do great work off the field to help people less fortunate than them.

Roy Keane?!

Good article by Brolly about Depression:

http://gaeliclife.com/2013/11/brolly-lifes-a-bitch-and-then-you-die/
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: CroŪ na h…ireann on November 04, 2013, 11:44:58 AM
Heard a nice story over the weekend which might help some here. Friend of a friend was suffering from depression and not really getting anywhere with his psychologist. Psychologist said that writing a letter to his hero may help and to include anything and everything that was bothering him. His hero is a very prolific Irish sports star, adored by some, despised by others. Anyway not only did he get a lovely letter in return but on his birthday he got a phone call from his hero. What's more, he has got a phone call every month since to see how he is doing. And he's doing much better apparently, which was nice to hear. Makes you very proud of all our sports stars who do great work off the field to help people less fortunate than them.

Roy Keane?!

Good article by Brolly about Depression:

http://gaeliclife.com/2013/11/brolly-lifes-a-bitch-and-then-you-die/

Not saying, if they wanted it to be made public it would be in the media. I was gonna go with "loved by some, hated by others" but then yous would think it was Pat Spillane. Nice article by Brolly alright and good metaphor of trying to get people back to shore.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Hound on November 04, 2013, 03:59:09 PM
My limited experience indicates you need to be lucky to get a good psychologist. Of the two people I know who suffer, one's visits seemed to make no difference, and the other definitely got a lot worse afterwards (maybe they would got even worse without the visits, I dunno)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: 5 Sams on November 04, 2013, 04:10:35 PM
I hear John Murray made an emotional return to work this morning on RTE after being off work for 6 months with depression.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Newbridge Exile on November 04, 2013, 09:01:41 PM
Without a doubt the most educational and enlightening thread I have come across in my time on the board.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on November 04, 2013, 09:26:00 PM
My limited experience indicates you need to be lucky to get a good psychologist. Of the two people I know who suffer, one's visits seemed to make no difference, and the other definitely got a lot worse afterwards (maybe they would got even worse without the visits, I dunno)
That's a factor. Another factor maybe, is that one of the people you know is more proactive than the other, with the process.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on November 04, 2013, 10:25:38 PM
OK, well here goes. It might be a bit long so settle downÖ

I was first diagnosed with depression just after I turned 20, though there were some signs of it on a low level for a few months beforehand. I didnít believe it at first, and I think that goes for nearly everyone who gets struck down by depression the first time. Eventually I was kind of accepting of it, though it perhaps did not help that I was due to start university in a couple of months and that I was to be a groomsman at an uncleís wedding just before that.

I didnít really know how to handle telling people about my depression at first Ė I felt OK disclosing it to people that I knew but put up a defence otherwise. Unfortunately my first semester at UUJ saw me be a complete wreck. I had to take a week off and go back home one time and at another I had a mental breakdown. The first set of antidepressants I was prescribed was seen as the main contributor.

Future different antidepressants Iíd been prescribed on have had differing results. One made me excessively tired, so much so that I remember I was going through the Poly between classes and bumped into an old science teacher of mine from secondary school who noticed on the spot that something wasnít right about me. Another one seemed to have at least a reasonable response, but had the side effect of leaving me with a dry mouth no matter how much water I drunk. Another one made me, whom Iíd describe myself as usually quite reserved, patient & forgiving, turn me into a paranoid, on the edge, aggressive person with a paper-thin temper. I referenced this to Desieach in the ďTime For Joe Brolly To GoĒ thread about being warned by my club over my conduct in a game that I was over a team with. I left Jordanstown by now having not completed my course there but had been on a Foundation Degree course taught in Omagh. A lot of little things started to get on top of me. As well as occasional meltdowns I started getting some nasty panic attacks. I remember getting one in class one time where my arm and leg muscles froze and I was having rapid & shallow breathing. I had to be taken home because I had very little energy to barely walk once the worst of it was over. Not long afterwards I ended up in the Tyrone & Fermanagh for the first time. It was a major shock to the system and convinced me that at least for a few months to take things easy. At the time I was not only a full-time student but also chairperson of the ladies football club and PRO of the GAA club, as well as taking girls and boys football teams and dealing with a campaign to get the local phone exchange upgraded for ADSL.

Iíve continually had episodes of panic & anxiety attacks meaning that holding down employment is difficult. Apart from one IT technician post, every job Iíve been in has seen me have a panic attack within 10 weeks of starting.

In 2006 I had a massive breakdown one day late in the year which convinced me that I had to get away from home and so I ended up in Australia for the second half of 2008 and a bit either side of that. While being there it still didnít stop me having another panic attack at a workplace on my birthday, with the associated draining of energy and immediate tiredness. Little did I know the folks I was staying with had organised a surprise party for me that evening. It was the last place I wanted to be but I couldnít refuse and in the end it did pick me up a little. So that helped.

Not long after I came back home from Australia, the confidence I built up in myself from being there started ebbing away and by the summer I was back in the T&F again. Since that point Iíve been feeling drained. By the end of the year I started to find no more enjoyment in the things I used to enjoy doing. I no longer enjoyed taking boys and girls football coaching out at the local pitch. I no longer enjoyed keeping the club website, the one I won a McNamee award for, updated. I no longer enjoyed interacting either the small amount socially I did or over the internet Ė I didnít make any posts here for over a year. I was struggling to enjoy working with home & broadcast electronics that was the basis of the DSO thread I kept updating/advised last year. I did find something else that I was able to get involved with from time to time, namely doing occasional work on a relationís farm in around Greencastle which I continue to this day. Iíve sort of slowly gone back into doing web design though not with the same passion I used to have. I havenít done any coaching since 2009 but depending on circumstances I might get involved again next year.

In the past couple of years Iíve been involved with a good psychologist who at first ran a couple of personality tests on me, both of which came back with the same results. Eventually some time later, I took another test. I donít want to reveal directly what it gave as a result, but the diagnosis certainly explained a lot, especially as to why I was often suffering from bouts of depression and irregular panic & anxiety attacks. It also explained why I seemed to have poor concentration, cognitive difficulties, problems with social interaction, dietary problems etc. for as long as I can remember back. At least as a result of this, Iíve been able to get some support from local groups which are proving somewhat helpful at the moment. I have been slipping back into periods of very low moods though, probably the worst Iíve had in the last two years. Fighting it is a big battle especially when your energy levels are low and you feel isolated quite a lot.

In terms of psychologists, counsellors and so on, not every one is the same. They all recognise (or at least they should) that in terms of one-to-one talking sometimes things just donít click between them and you and that you may be better seeing someone else who might be more suited for you. When you do get one that does gel well with yourself, they can be worth their weight in gold.

I can only try to take things like this when they happen only as they come. I canít say Iíve ever been seriously suicidal, nor someone who self-abuses if only because my sense of touch is too sensitive. Iím on the same medication as what stew mentioned earlier, for now. One thing is for sure though Ė I wouldnít wish what I have and have had in the past on anyone. Itís a horrible thing to have when youíre in the worst of its throes. And funnily enough for me trying to describe what it is like in that situation when youíre not in it at the time Ė like at the moment Iím typing this Ė is hard to describe. Itís a kind of a Jekyll & Hyde thing. The one state I can describe though is its halfway point, one that I call emotional numbness and it is horrible. You donít feel happy, sad, elated, angry etc. Itís a state of emotional purgatory where you are distressed but you donít actually feel distressed. In fact you donít feel distressed though those around you can start getting distressed for you.

For the near future, I just want to try and get back into both the things I used to enjoy and get back into some form of employment. Too much time on your own dwells on the mind. I donít want to be on social security forever, I want to be able to pay at least some of my way in life including back into the system. Unfortunately as Iíve said before about SS in NI, honesty and trying to have a sense of positives and constructive outlook doesnít work in the system as it is at present. Those that want to try and do that and be upfront about it are too easily targeted for sanctions and get kicked off certain benefits to reach targets while those that know how to work and fiddle the system keep getting through the hoops. The whole thing would make you cynical and see the perverse incentives there are involved in what can become a vicious circle.

Anyway thatís enough for now, except for one last paragraph. IMHO the knowledge acquired about mental health internationally is at least 30 years behind that of treating physical ailments due to a combination of hidden ailments and the lack of ďsexinessĒ & money to be made from treating mental illnesses (youíre much more likely to be less well off if you have a long-term or recurring mental illness). I also think that depression is being more diagnosed these days because of (a) although still somewhat a social taboo, is not as much as it once was, and (b) that pressures put on people these days in terms of work, lifestyles, expectations and so on make people feel more stressed more easily.

Anyway, that really is enough for now.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: midLouth on November 04, 2013, 10:37:23 PM
Thanks for making that contribution Fionntamhnach and to the others who have done likewise. It is interesting to hear the different experiences people have and their perceptions of dealing with their different situations.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on November 04, 2013, 10:46:25 PM
Fair play Fionntamhnach, tough on most getting their stories out but hopefully beneficial in the long run for yourself and others
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on November 04, 2013, 10:46:45 PM
Fionntamhnach, you have long been one of the best posters here for being able to articulate and express yourself and that post doesn't disappoint.

It must be very hard to write something like that, but if it is any consolation, it is wonderfully enlightening.

Thanks for that.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on November 04, 2013, 10:53:04 PM
Fionntamhnach, you have long been one of the best posters here for being able to articulate and express yourself and that post doesn't disappoint.

It must be very hard to write something like that, but if it is any consolation, it is wonderfully enlightening.

Thanks for that.
+1.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyCake on November 04, 2013, 11:19:30 PM
Fair play, F. Best of luck with things.

I agree with you on the SS thing. Those who actually make the proper steps to get themselves on the road to recovery  are punished, whereas those who know the loopholes aren't. In the end, the genuine people are forced off sickness benefits, out into the workplace/dole too soon and their health suffers again because of it. And now, non-health professionals make the decisions to cut benefits, going over the heads of GPs. That is disgusting. The stress alone from such things can be enough to push people over the edge.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: 5 Sams on November 04, 2013, 11:42:03 PM
Mighty stuff Bummer. I didn't realise. Hope you're keeping well.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: stew on November 05, 2013, 12:16:29 AM
Without a doubt the most educational and enlightening thread I have come across in my time on the board.


I consider it the great equalizer, refreshing and I applaud Eamonnica and everyone else that has contributed from a depressed state.

This is the best thread ever on this board, it has made lads that are polar opposites appreciate the pain of fellow gaels, that is wonderful in itself.

Eamonn, thank you for starting this thread and I wish you well, forget athiesiem/ Christianity/ Socialism/ Republicianism, this is tough subject matter and I am delighted you started this thred, i would never have had the balls to do so.

Stew.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: CD on November 05, 2013, 09:02:59 AM
Without a doubt the most educational and enlightening thread I have come across in my time on the board.


I consider it the great equalizer, refreshing and I applaud Eamonnica and everyone else that has contributed from a depressed state.

This is the best thread ever on this board, it has made lads that are polar opposites appreciate the pain of fellow gaels, that is wonderful in itself.

I check this thread every morning - almost reassuring and a therapy to me - keep posting lads. Your bravery and honesty is fantastic.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DennistheMenace on November 05, 2013, 09:36:00 AM
Very englightening thread without doubt. Hope to take some of the advice on board and be more knowledgable and aware of friends, colleagues who are having mental issues/suffering from depression.

With the winter nights upon us I can only imagine this might serve as a trigger for some people suffering from depression. Whilst I don't think it's the taboo subject it once was, i do think there is a general reluctance within Irish peope to talk about their feelings and even more so within the GAA fraternity to not appear 'weak'.

The whole suicide issue is one that confuses/scares me, reminds of Gary Speed and the picture of him with fans a few hours before he done it. It's nearly as if you can see it in his eyes, the trouble, his demons whatever. I'll not be afraid to admit I used to think it was the ultimate selfish act, but not anymore. The general public need educated and i'm glad to see it talked about more openly recently. Personally think it can only help those suffering on their own.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: changed my name on November 17, 2013, 09:49:49 PM
Firstly, im sort of ashamed to say i changed my name!! and opened a new account to write on this thread. That probably makes me a total coward but have people who know me on here and would prefer to stay anonyomous if thats ok.

I guess im hoping that writing things down and stuff might help me. I dont even know if im suffering from depression or if im just down in the dumps and need a good kick up the backside. I always would have ups and downs in life, nothing major but times would get a bit fed up for a few days but snap myself out of it quick enough. I generally always would keep the smile on my face and get on with things.

Lately though im getting it tough and i mean very tough. I cant pinpoint anything in particular thats set it off just a number of things. I feel like my life is passing me by and that everyone and everything is moving on and im stuck in a rut. In a relationship that is far far from easy, yet i wont walk away. I find myself intensely jealous of everyone elses lives which i know sounds ridiculous.  I could have lived with them feelings and try to tell myself wise up to frig and catch urself on , be grateful for all you have. That worked for a while.

Its got to the stage now where i feel low as low can be. I dont know what is wrong with me and i ly in bed every single night crying myself to sleep begging god to snap me out of it and make me feel normal again. Im struggling to get out of bed in the mornings to face the day, its getting harder and harder. I just want to ly under a cover all day in the dark and not have to speak to anyone. I want to blank everything out. I see no future and all week just would love to drive my car into a wall and be done with it. I never would though cos i keep imagining the pain id cause my family. This makes me think maybe i dont have depression but am just low.

This post probably sounds ridiculous to u all and most of you are probably thinking wise up and snap out of it and pull yourself together. Believe me im trying. Im trying so hard to keep going but i cannot stop crying. I dread everything coming up.

Reading this back i probably seem like a fool. I have a great family but couldnt even begin to talk to them about this. I wouldnt even say to my friends as they would probably think im being foolish. I just dont have anyone to talk to so thought maybe this might help me.

Im praying to god that i go back to normal and just printed out st judes desperate cases novena that im gonna start praying every day to lift me out of this. Dont know where else to turn.



Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Itchy on November 17, 2013, 11:05:29 PM
I know nothing of this stuff but sounds to me like writing that was a good first step. Maybe you should talk to your family and together look for some help and advise. I'm no expert but I know I don't think you sound stupid or ridiculous.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DuffleKing on November 18, 2013, 12:59:04 AM

I feel obliged to respond but feel utterly powerless as to how to help or advise - even though i can relate on many of the things you are feeling. There are many good people out there to talk to and i'd ask you to contact one of them.

I'm really hoping that the better informed posters are PMing you with sound advice!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: moysider on November 18, 2013, 01:13:32 AM
Firstly, im sort of ashamed to say i changed my name!! and opened a new account to write on this thread. That probably makes me a total coward but have people who know me on here and would prefer to stay anonyomous if thats ok.

I guess im hoping that writing things down and stuff might help me. I dont even know if im suffering from depression or if im just down in the dumps and need a good kick up the backside. I always would have ups and downs in life, nothing major but times would get a bit fed up for a few days but snap myself out of it quick enough. I generally always would keep the smile on my face and get on with things.

Lately though im getting it tough and i mean very tough. I cant pinpoint anything in particular thats set it off just a number of things. I feel like my life is passing me by and that everyone and everything is moving on and im stuck in a rut. In a relationship that is far far from easy, yet i wont walk away. I find myself intensely jealous of everyone elses lives which i know sounds ridiculous.  I could have lived with them feelings and try to tell myself wise up to frig and catch urself on , be grateful for all you have. That worked for a while.

Its got to the stage now where i feel low as low can be. I dont know what is wrong with me and i ly in bed every single night crying myself to sleep begging god to snap me out of it and make me feel normal again. Im struggling to get out of bed in the mornings to face the day, its getting harder and harder. I just want to ly under a cover all day in the dark and not have to speak to anyone. I want to blank everything out. I see no future and all week just would love to drive my car into a wall and be done with it. I never would though cos i keep imagining the pain id cause my family. This makes me think maybe i dont have depression but am just low.

This post probably sounds ridiculous to u all and most of you are probably thinking wise up and snap out of it and pull yourself together. Believe me im trying. Im trying so hard to keep going but i cannot stop crying. I dread everything coming up.

Reading this back i probably seem like a fool. I have a great family but couldnt even begin to talk to them about this.  I just dont have anyone to talk to so thought maybe this might help me.

Im praying to god that i go back to normal and just printed out st judes desperate cases novena that im gonna start praying every day to lift me out of this. Dont know where else to turn.

That bit in bold. Is that the substantive issue? I suspect it is. If so, you have to deal with it - and maybe get councelling to help you sort it out!

There is stuff in your post that suggests that you have an ideal/or others' expectations, that you feel you have to live up to.

'That probably makes me a total coward'
'need a good kick up the backside.'
'but snap myself out of it quick enough.'
'i probably seem like a fool.'


Like a lot of us males you think you have to be the man and get on with it and internalise stuff that's f**king with your head.

Forget about how how people might percieve you. They probably don t notice your inner turmoil, because as you say you get on with things and your friends probably see you as being good craic.

Even if your just thinking of driving the car into a wall then there is a possibility that you might. Writing this is a start but you need to take the next step. Unfortunately I m not a great believer in prayer, but it cant do any harm as long as you seek a pro to help you out. I m suspecting that relationship that you feel you cannot get out of is at the root of your depression.

Go talk to a professional.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Milltown Row2 on November 18, 2013, 10:13:35 AM
Yeah, as said already seek professional help, I'm sure these are all done in confidence so that feeling of 'others' knowing things won't be the case.

Dealing with loved ones on issues of depression can be difficult, I've done it and  found it very difficult to understand their thoughts and feelings, but it was better knowing their fears, at least then you can make that move to sorting some things out and relieve hopefully some of that burden you are feeling.

Great post by the way, I think a lot of posters can relate to some of it, as someone has posted before he believed we all suffer from bouts of depression in our life but it's how we deal with it that makes it different to some people
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: changed my name on November 18, 2013, 10:42:35 AM
Thanks very much for the responses i really appreciate it.

I do feel a bit stupid at times and try to consistently live by the mantra "there are so many worse of than me etc etc". Sometimes that helps slightly and other times it just doesnt even come close to helping.
I would generally always have been a happy enough person and whatever life put in front of me i dealt with and moved on and at all times tried to keep a smile on my face. I dont know what exactly has triggered this but it is tough going and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. Its getting to the stage now that everyone i meet im envious of as they seem normal and id give anything to have some normality and peace in my head.

In a way i hate writing this as i honestly dont know if im depressed or just going through a bad patch (if it is a bad patch then its as bad as it gets in my head). Its like an intense sadness and crying constantly. Sitting at work now trying to keep going cos what else can i do? Am not particularly keen on going to GP as i would prefer not to be put onto any medication/ antidepressants etc.
I suppose its something i keep hoping will pass itself and that i will bring myself through it.

Its nice to be able to talk to people on here as i have noone else i will talk to about it.

Thanks for the replies
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on November 18, 2013, 11:27:49 AM
Changed my name - Hope you are able to speak to someone. If you could tell anyone it might be a big help. Also, I don't know if you'd feel up to it but I found running to be a great help, even just running for 20 minutes could change my mood for the better. I understand the urge to stay in bed and hide away, but it will just make things worse and forcing yourself to do some exercise will help. I don't mean to be firing advice at you, just speaking from my own experience. I wish you all the best anyway and fair play to you for sharing.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: God14 on November 18, 2013, 12:07:53 PM
Changed my name  - if getting it off your chest, in an secure anonymous way like this helped in anyway then its a good thing & to be commended. I think that's what this thread was started for, to share experiences and helpful hints & pointers also. Ive been following the thread since it went up regularly.

I don't suffer from depression thankfully, but id slipped into an awful rut this past 3 or 4 years of heavy drinking at weekends. Itd start with a mildish session on a Friday after work. Pure over indulgence all day Saturday & the cure watching football on a Sunday in the pub.
On a Monday & often even into Tuesday id be fragile as hell. Dark moods. Unable to sleep properly. Constantly questioning myself, going over silly mistakes id made maybe 10 years previous. My mind seemed to focus on all the negative aspects of myself, mistakes id made. Id be questioning where I was going in my life, career, relationships you name it. Going over in my head a random argument with someone id had yonks back. Generally feeling so low & down in the dumps. Feeling vulnerable as well.
Im so lucky that by Wednesday itd be over, but unfortunately come Friday evening the cycle would start again.

Since this thread has gone up, its really made me think about my drinking & the impact it has on me mentally. Ive challenged myself to tackle it, and for the past 3 weekends now ive restricted my drinking to a 6 pints on a Saturday night. I feel so much the better for it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Hardy on November 18, 2013, 12:20:01 PM
http://hellosundaymorning.org/ (http://hellosundaymorning.org/) - may be helpful for some.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DennistheMenace on November 18, 2013, 12:47:21 PM
Since this thread has gone up, its really made me think about my drinking & the impact it has on me mentally. Ive challenged myself to tackle it, and for the past 3 weekends now ive restricted my drinking to a 6 pints on a Saturday night. I feel so much the better for it.

This part stands out for me and is something I can relate to. Drinking is many peoples trigger, as is the dark winter nights. I find running a great release.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: SLIGONIAN on November 18, 2013, 01:55:00 PM
First of all I hope people post publically on here with replies rather than pming and Iíll tell you why, there are people reading this thread that wont post for whatever reason and may need some help and your post in reply to the above could have that little nugget of advice for them enough to turn the tide. It helps me post on this thread if im honest.

Changed my name, Youíre the opposite of a coward btw, its doenst matter a jot whether you post anonymously or not, you had the balls to post your story, simple as that. It matters to everyone what others think of them, we all compare to others lives and we all want to be liked. This is your ego and everyone has one. Your not alone, far from it. The general consensus I get from the above is your having difficulties accepting aspects of yourself and your external life situations. You seem to have gone to war within. These reactions are getting stronger and stronger because your becoming more aware. This is again an awakening story which always painful as we let go of the old and allow the new. When your crying at night this is actually a good thing, letting it all go physically, let it happen, accept it all. This is life passing through you. Allow yourself to feel all of this, your ego wants to you to be asleep so its in charge, your fighting back I can see that but you have to make it your allie not your foe, allow and acknowledge everything. The funny thing is you already have, you just donít know it yet or else it wouldnít be already happening.

It is absolutely no point in praying to GOD to go back to Normal, how do you know you were normal before, (is it normal because society/tv tells you it is) he is giving you an opportunity to wake up to life. What you mean by normal is want to go back to sleep and live within the prison of unconscious behauvioural patterns like most on this planet. You can heal all of that now by accepting everything that comes up and taking it as far as you can.

Here is the cycle your going through, a negative thought/feeling/situation crops up , you go f**k off to the negative thought/feeling/situation, then more negative thoughts/feelings/situations crop and they get stronger and stronger until you finally do something, this comes in the form of telling someone like you have done here, or go for a run etcÖtoo much pain, now here is the trick if when that next negative thought/feeling/situation crops up, accept it, and by accept I mean want it, and instead of releasing adrelanine which is stress, wanting it will release endorphins, and the trick when you get what you want you are happy and when you are happy you release endorphins, its breaks the cycle of negativity and stops you chasing your own tail. I know you are only pretending to want it but it works, Try it next time you have a negative thought, say I want this mentally to yourself, it will pass a lot quicker trust me because you stop the rot and start allowing instead of resisting. There is actually nothing wrong with negative thoughts, the only problem here is your reaction to them. Allow yourself to compare and allow yourself to be jealous, let it flow through you in that moment, in time these will pass a lot quicker and in time you start to notice the positive thoughts a lot more, youíve come out of that programming of noticing the negative only.

Life is also turning your attention to the present moment aswell, thatís why seeing no future which is actually a good thing believe it or not, primary focus on now (this is what the pain is showing you) but have goals or plans as secondary. Your inner voice is quite negative at the minute so youíve told yourself the story of your family and friends reactions will be negative, maybe your wrong?.

I know a lot of folk donít like to accept and allow negativity, and you may get angry reading the above, but sometime whenever in the future you may just decide to turn and face, allow and accept(want) and then youíll notice jees where did that negative thought go, where did that panic go, and then youíll know it works, and just let stuff pass through, rather than holding on,  see how changing your reactions changes your life and your relationship may become easier .

I am speaking from experience above but may not have articulated well enough, its hard to explain, apologies but i hope you get the jist of what i say. I suppose i hope other can realise it for themselves and pass through there own stuff.

Good luck
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: orangeman on November 28, 2013, 03:35:10 PM
Martin BrehenyĖ 28 November 2013

 THE GAA could play a significant role in reducing suicide among young people, while also improving general mental health, according to a leading expert in sports psychology.

Dr Tadhg MacIntyre, lecturer in sport, exercise and performance psychology at University of Limerick, believes that the GAA is uniquely placed to confront an issue which is becoming increasingly problematic in Irish life.

"The GAA, with its huge nationwide community presence, could provide psychological training in resilience, optimism and social support of young players," he said.

"There is no better organisation on the planet than the GAA for reaching into the heart of the community. It has a presence in every village, which is the ideal starting point for this type of initiative."

Much of the interaction would take place online, but workshops would also be held, involving players, coaches, parents and other interested parties.

"This would help change the landscape," he continued. "As the greatest sporting body on this island, the GAA has the capacity to drive this change. It would set the Association apart from other sports for decades.

"Potentially, it could reduce adolescent suicide and enhance the positive mental health of thousands of people."

MacIntyre believes that providing preventative mental health care is crucial at a time when there's evidence that depression and other associated problems are on the increase.

"The capacity is there to use the GAA engine to promote a positive mental health programme," he said.

MacIntyre has been outspoken in the past about the quality of some of the advice being provided for sportspeople, especially in the GAA where the use of psychology and motivation techniques has increased dramatically in recent years.

He expressed concerns that some players could be getting the wrong advice, which carries serious risks.

"Mind coaches, performance architects, motivational coaches -- all these terms reduce the mental side of sport to something that equates with 'mental fitness' and a naive focus on performance enhancement," he said.

"Some of those coaches are former players or coaches with experience and possible insights but not necessarily with expertise. There are risks there."


The big fear is that the relentless drive for success leads to a focus on winning and which doesn't allow for anything else.

CHANGE

"Psychological support in sport has the capacity to change, but that change can be both positive and negative. Without specialist training and without a holistic focus, it can be a train wreck.

"Most of the recent cases of depression highlighted in the media (rugby and GAA) had mental coaches working with the teams. Could they not have recognised the symptoms among the people involved and referred them to appropriate personnel?"

MacIntyre believes that, in some cases, psychology is being used solely as an aid to boost the prospects of winning, which can leave residual damage.

"What we need is a recognition that psychology in sport is not simply about readiness to perform (in effect to win), but about understanding that each person is an individual, not just an athlete," he said.

"Psychological support should be a preventative system that enhances the resilience and coping strategies of the performers and indeed the coaches too."

He has concerns that the labelling of teams and/or individuals can be damaging. Winners are deemed to have got everything right, whereas losers are made to feel as if they are mentally weak, even when that's not the case.

That easy classification can have a negative impact on individuals if their identity is so wrapped up in sporting achievement that they regard themselves as failures when don't reach their goals, even when there are perfectly logical reasons why that happened.

"Are we trying too hard to exploit the mental advantage rather that look after our players?" he asked. "There is a fundamental challenge about labelling people 'winners' and 'losers'. It's never that simple but much modern-day commentary tend to treat it those simple terms."

The use of sports psychology has become a major growth industry in football and hurling over the last decade. And while many of the practitioners are excellent, MacIntyre has in the past expressed fears that it's an area which is open to exploitation.

"There's a real risk if the wrong person is being used. You won't let a physio go near your hamstring unless he or she is properly qualified. It should be the same with psychology. You shouldn't let anyone near your internal world unless you really trust them," he said.

His call on the GAA to use its vast club network to provide psychological training broadens a subject that has had attracted lots of attention in recent times.

"The GAA is the ideal organisation to lead the way on this issue," he said. "It remains one of the great pillars in Irish life, reaching into every town and village in the country. That puts it in a unique position to play a major role in such an important aspect as mental health."
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on January 07, 2014, 08:17:18 PM
Just read this and given the post-Christmas blues, the weather etc I thought it was worth posting.

http://thereispowerinspeakingout.blogspot.ie (http://thereispowerinspeakingout.blogspot.ie)

Monday, January 6, 2014

So here goes nothing....

In June 2011, I walked out of hospital after a suicide attempt and I haven't looked back.
I still remember how that day looked.
It was a beautiful June afternoon, the sun belted down on my mam's car and I took one final look at St John of God's in Stillorgan, Co Dublin - a place which had become my home for over a month.
That was a week before my 22nd birthday.
I walked back into college with my head held high, spent two more years working on my journalism degree and strutted out with one of the highest marks handed out that year.
Less than a week after finishing my studies and I was working for a national newspaper.
For the first time in my life I felt proud of myself, I was successful.
Fast forward nearly 19 months and here I am contemplating taking my own life again.
I don't know how I got here but here I am.
I have everything anyone could ask for - great friends, a wonderfully supportive family, the respect of this industry I'm in, a penthouse apartment in Dun Laoghaire, iPad, iPhone, new car and and what should look like a bright future.
But I can't see that - all I can feel is how sweet and peaceful death would be right now.
The balcony 10 feet behind me seems more tempting than taking a shower in the morning, than walking into work with an exclusive under my arm or texting the girl I'm currently seeing.
My role in life has always been to make others feel happy. I'm the joker, the friend, the pal who'd never see you stuck.
I'm that sad clown, a cliche wrapped in another f**king cliche, sitting in a living room typing in the dark.
I never thought my mental health was that bad - even when I was placed in a locked ward as psych staff took my belt, shoe strings and lighter.
Even the cold thud of a dead lock clicking into place as I watched my family tearfully walking out of my hospital room couldn't open my eyes to the reality.
But there it was in all its painful glory.
When friends came to visit me I would smile and crack a joke pretending to be oblivious to the fact I was surrounded by some of the sickest people I had ever met - and I was one of them.
It would be months later that my friends told me I was speaking complete gibberish to them.
It was only then that I copped something wasn't really right.
In a strange way, it validated me. I was confused as to why I was put in that hospital. I knew deep down there was something seriously wrong with me but I couldn't accept it.
But back to the now.
I'm writing this as someone who is ill. I'm not looking for sympathy, it's just something which needs to be out there, that it's ok to tell the world you're not ok.
I'm not going to work tomorrow, I'm going to see a counsellor. I'm going to beat this little p***k in my head who's trying to tell me I'm not good enough.
There will be many of you out there who don't understand how it feels to go through something like this.
That's not to sound high and mighty or what not, it is what it is.
But then again there are those who will know exactly the excruciating pain I'm feeling right now.
There's one way I can think of explaining it.
Imagine having a negative thought about yourself, be it your appearance, intelligence, whatever.
Now imagine it sticking with you all through the day pounding you every chance it gets. It's relentless in its ferocity, its cruelty.
You can't think of anything else.
It tells you you're worthless, it mocks every positive thought you try and retaliate with, it shoots down any thought of getting better.
And you can't get rid of it.
So, in my case, I drank. I drank to try and rid myself of the constant waves of negativity crashing over me, washing out the good of the day.
But then that will stop working and you'll be left drunk and alone, hating yourself even more.
The day I tried to kill myself in April 2011, I found myself in the corner of my room with a bottle of whiskey balling my eyes out.
I began drinking socially again after six months off it. I drank not because I wanted to forget but because I enjoyed it.
But now I'm doing it for the same old reasons. The most important thing is that I've caught it in time.
The recent Donal Walsh documentary on RTE opened people up to talking about mental health.
Here was a terminally ill young man telling people to cop on and not take your own life.
To be honest, it infuriated me.
Suicidal ideation, to many, is a terminal illness and something which can't be fought with medication.
If you're set on taking your life, then you're going to do it.
But there are support structures out there designed to pull you from the brink
It's in no way black and white.
You don't see how much you're loved, you don't see the pain and hardship it would cause your family.
Even now I'm racked with guilt over my own attempt. My mum is a shell of the woman she was, constantly worrying about me.
My sister thinks I'm too ill to live a regular life and my friends are now texting me after a night out telling me 'to ring when I get in'.
Everybody's worried about me - and I guess they're right to.
The stigma of mental health in Irish society may be loosening its grip, but the guilt of having tried it will always remain.
I don't want to be known as  'that guy who tried to kill himself'.
In fact I'm that funny, intelligent and caring guy who actually wants to know how you're doing.
There's a part me that wants to just delete this entire message and go to work tomorrow and pretend everything is ok.
But I'm sick of living a half life, one that's just going to knock me on my arse as I try and plough ahead.
So this is a moment for me to take stock, lay a solid foundation, take a breather and then move forward once again.
This is not a cry for help, it's more of a success story. I've spotted the danger signs and I'm fighting back.
I'm not going to let this darkness define me and let it win.
I'm stronger than that.
So for anyone out there who's thinking similar things, I'm pleading with you to tell someone; family, friends, the Samaritans.
This is because I'm one of the lucky ones, I've survived suicide.
You only get one go around.
To be honest, I'm feeling a hell of a lot better after writing this.
Take her handy,
Garreth MacNamee
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: orangeman on January 07, 2014, 09:35:41 PM
Fair play Gareth.


It takes guts to write down that sort of stuff.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: FL/MAYO on January 08, 2014, 01:56:09 AM
Might be worth a listen

http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share.html
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Count 10 on January 09, 2014, 07:16:40 PM
Speaks volumes........

http://www.thepositivemind.com/HTML/Don'tbeFooledbymepoem.html
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: orangeman on February 03, 2014, 10:49:15 AM
Ian Thorpe - most would have thought he had it all but not so :



Five-time Olympic swimming gold medallist Ian Thorpe is in rehab after being found disoriented in the street by police in the early hours of today.


Thorpe was affected by a combination of antidepressants and the painkillers he was taking for a shoulder injury, according to his manager James Erskine.

Police spoke to Thorpe after residents near his parents' home in Panania in Sydney's south west reported a man allegedly breaking into a van. He was taken to Sydney's Bankstown Hospital for assessment and was later transferred to a rehab facility.

Mr Erskine said: "He is in rehab for depression."

He said Thorpe thought he was sitting in his friend's car.

"The owner of the car basically called the police and the police came," he said. "They realised it was Ian Thorpe. They realised he was disoriented."

Mr Erskine said Thorpe, 31, had been taking antidepressants and medication for his shoulder but had not been drinking alcohol.

"He hadn't had a drink," he said. "He had zero alcohol in him."

Police said no official complaint has been made and no further police action is anticipated.

Thorpe, who lives in Switzerland, has been staying with his parents over Christmas.

Mr Erskine's admission that Thorpe is in rehab comes only days after his management company denied reports that he checked into a rehab facility while fighting depression and alcohol abuse.

In his autobiography, published last year, Thorpe said "not even my family is aware that I've spent a lot of my life battling what I can only describe as crippling depression".


Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on February 14, 2014, 11:28:42 PM
Bumping this thread given the weather, time of year etc.......

Be well all.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on February 14, 2014, 11:36:21 PM
Bumping this thread given the weather, time of year etc.......

Be well all.
You alright muppet?  ;)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on February 14, 2014, 11:40:34 PM
Bumping this thread given the weather, time of year etc.......

Be well all.
You alright muppet?  ;)

Sound Tony.

Getting nervous for tomorrow but that's for other threads.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Captain Obvious on February 14, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
Good Conor Cusack interview on The Late Late Show tonight.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: under the bar on February 14, 2014, 11:43:33 PM
LIFELINE - 0808 808 8000 - Call if concerned for yourself or a friend.  Free from landlines and most mobiles.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: orangeman on April 08, 2014, 10:00:41 AM
JACKIE CAHILL Ė UPDATED 08 APRIL 2014 08:15 AM

'We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light' Ė Plato


IT has been a long and difficult road for Waterford star Wayne Hutchinson who today opens up about his battle with depression.

A remarkable piece of Hutchinson's own writing, which appears in full on the player's personal online blog page, details his clinical diagnosis 11 years ago and how he contemplated suicide in January 2013.

The 29-year-old's blog piece begins in his bedroom last month, on the morning of Tuesday March 18, when he is lying on his bed with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Old feelings have returned and Hutchinson writes: "But I'm not asking myself, 'what's wrong with me?'

"For years, I did just that, thinking I was different, thinking I was the only one in the world with my particular problem.

"Now I know it's not just me. I know there are others with that same 'companion' in life: depression.

"As I walk downstairs, drying the tears on my cheeks, I encounter the most beautiful of smiles, worn by my two-year-old niece, whose face bears the look of someone without a care in the world, the way all kids should be.

"I ask her for a hug and she lovingly obliges. This small hug from a little girl will get me through this day. That hug felt like the best one I've ever received. It's just what I needed.

"I need to keep moving forward. I can't go back to where I was 14 months ago."

Hutchinson then reflects on "a cold wet night in late January of last year", when he was in a self-confessed suicidal state. His passion for sport Ė and life Ė had disappeared.

"The decision I'd reached wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing. I'd planned what I was going to do well in advance, right down to date, time and place. I was going to end it all.

"By now the depression was bad. Brutal even. That night, I sat on my bed, head buried into my knees.

"I prayed to God, something I'd never done before, but for some reason I felt compelled to.

STARING

"I waited for everyone else to go to bed. And when they did, the blackest of darknesses consumed me as I lay there, as I so often have, staring at the ceiling.

"My mind was running at 1000 miles per hour. I was s******g it, but I was ready to do what I felt needed to be done. I needed my peace.

"I quietly made my way downstairs, but all the while I was shaking. I was intent on going to the back of the house and into a forested area nearby.

"Earlier that day, I'd left all the stuff I needed for it down there.

"Just as I'm about to make my way outside to end it all, I hear a noise upstairs, followed by footsteps, gingerly making their way downstairs.

"Like all cowards, I dart into the downstairs toilet to hide. Only I don't feel like a coward Ė after all I know what I want to do and I know what I want: peace.

"I leave the door slightly ajar to see who it is. It's Mam, and she's getting a glass of water.

"Unknowingly, she has intervened again to make a difference in my life; those footsteps, to me, were a sign from God: I need to keep fighting. I owe it to Mam.

"The following day, when the house was empty, I return to the spot where I'd planned to end it all. I pick up my stuff and am filled with shame and embarrassment.

"I place the stuff in a bag, drive to Shannon Cliff in Dunmore East, take the rope out of my bag and throw it off the cliff and into the sea below. The rope is gone. I'm still here."

Eleven years ago, Hutchinson was diagnosed with depression at a local hospital. But he confirms that the battle against mental illness continues on a daily basis.

He writes: "The days and weeks before that hospital visit had been terrible. I'd cried for days on end in my bedroom from which I dared not emerge to face anyone. I even starved myself at times.

"All this time, I kept asking why me, what had I done to end up feeling like this, a diminished human being? I locked my door. I shut the blinds. The only time I ventured beyond the door was to use the toilet Ė most of the time I didn't even want to leave my room just to answer nature's call.

"I was 18 years old, an age when life should be full of fun, thoughts about what adult life, just around the corner, would bring for me.

"But that wasn't my reality, and I knew that wasn't right. I needed help. I called my mother for help Ė she'd been in and out my room to me for days, trying to help, but I was too scared to even speak to her.

LISTENED

"Eventually I found my voice in her company. She listened to what I had to say and we both cried together. It was tough, so tough, but she promised she'd do all she could to help me. Mothers are great that way.

"So she brought me in on the bus to Waterford Regional Hospital Ė I was in a daze but she kept strong for me.

"So there I was, in A&E, waiting to be seen by a doctor. This was it. In I went, along with Mam, sat down in front of him and felt like a lost child, as I told him everything, and all the while the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I was referred to a psychiatrist and she diagnosed me with the 'D' word. Depression.

"I was prescribed anti-depressants, along with anxiety and sleeping tablets. Eleven years have passed since that hospital visit with Mam. Did it help? Yes. Has it cured me? No it hasn't. And that's the reality."

Hutchinson has dedicated his writing to the memory of the late Niall Donoghue, the former Galway hurler who passed away in tragic circumstances last October.

Hutchinson adds: "I'd also wish to dedicate this piece to Niall's family and that small Kilbeacanty community in Galway."

For the full version of Wayne's story, visit his personal blog page later today: http://waynehutchinson09.wordpress.com/
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: bloodybreakball on April 08, 2014, 10:29:50 AM
Ahhh cheers man, I was looking to read that
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Aerlik on April 08, 2014, 11:26:21 AM
Aussie Rules player Mitch Clark of Melbourne Demons, today announced his retirement from the game with immediate effect due to having been diagnosed with clinical depression.  Sad to hear this.

http://www.afl.com.au/news/2014-04-08/demon-clark-retires
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on August 12, 2014, 02:51:24 PM
Marketwatch is not often the source of such articles but here you go:

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/one-way-robin-williams-wasnt-so-unique-2014-08-12?mod=latestnewssocialflow&link=sfmw (http://www.marketwatch.com/story/one-way-robin-williams-wasnt-so-unique-2014-08-12?mod=latestnewssocialflow&link=sfmw)

By Charles Passy, MarketWatch 
I canít say I truly comprehend what drove Robin Williams to take his own life. But I do know what depression feels like.

And itís far more than feeling a little sad.

In my mid-30s, I found myself in something of a rut, living in an area I could never quite call home, finding it hard to make friends and feeling isolated from colleagues at work. I wanted my life to change, but I somehow couldnít effect the change ó a surprise for me, given that I was generally a take-charge type.

Instead, I began to feel blue, but a blue that was somehow a deeper and darker shade on the emotional color spectrum. I was eating too much, exercising too little and relishing the escape that sleep provided.

Yup, I was depressed.

I didnít really know it at the time. But when I started seeing a psychotherapist, she was quick to recognize my condition for what it was. She put it in more acceptable terms by suggesting it was perhaps a milder form of depression ó dysthymia , itís called, a kind of perpetual state of walking wounded-ness. But it was a condition that merited real attention ó not just through regular therapy sessions, but also through medication. After much coaxing, she convinced me to speak to my doctor about going on anti-depressants.

To this day ó more than 15 years later ó I can say Iíve never really been off them, save for one trial period (a period that was a mistake, I might add). Iím not sure if I would go so far as to say they saved my life, but I do know they made my life entirely more livable.

And apparently, Iím not alone: 9% of the U.S. population suffers from depression at least occasionally, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Antidepressant sales total about $11 billion a year. Prozac, the popular drug that forever changed the business of antidepressants, was worth some $20-plus billion in total sales for drug manufacturer Eli Lilly ó that is, until it became available in generic form in 2001. (I myself favor Zoloft, made by Pfizer, or the generic equivalent. It, too, has sold in the billions.)

In the long run, Iíve not thought much more about my depression than Iíve thought about my elevated blood pressure, also controlled through medication. I was in a state I didnít like, but the pills (and some good old-fashioned therapy) changed that.

Anti-depressants are hard to explain to people who have never been on them, but suffice it to say, they donít give you a daily buzz or high. When they work, they let you be a better, more-in-control you without a cloud of sorrow, discontentedness or plain anger (I subscribe to the belief that anger is depression turned outward) hanging constantly over your head.

But hereís a scary thought: In some countries, fewer than 10% of those with depression seek treatment for it, according to ScienceWatch.com. That means we live in a world of a lot of very sad (or very angry) people. Is it any wonder that we also live in a world of alcoholics and drug addicts? Booze and street drugs can be just a form of self-medication, as weíve long been told.

Itís perhaps unfair to connect all this to Robin Williams, since weíll probably never know why this supremely talented and successful man chose to end his life. (For my money, Williamsís two best pictures are the vastly overlooked ďPopeyeĒ and ďOne Hour Photo.Ē) But we do know that Williams battled depression and drug addiction. Of course, itís also worth pointing out that Williams sought out treatment for his problems ó or at least his addiction. He was in rehab as recently as this summer .

But if Williamsís story serves as a lesson for anyone, itís that depression is something to be taken seriously. I know Iím grateful I addressed my issues many years ago. After all, thereís nothing funny about feeling sad.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on August 12, 2014, 03:35:56 PM
Alan Brazil is saying something that was heard a lot more not that long ago in Ireland. Thankfully we have all become more educated on this particular issue and people, I think, understand nowadays that this is not 'an easy out' or any other cliche you might wish to use. This is the terrible culmination of a mind altering disease.

Some interesting stats: http://nsrf.ie/statistics/suicide/ (http://nsrf.ie/statistics/suicide/)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on August 12, 2014, 03:48:16 PM
Quote
Anti-depressants are hard to explain to people who have never been on them, but suffice it to say, they donít give you a daily buzz or high. When they work, they let you be a better, more-in-control you without a cloud of sorrow, discontentedness or plain anger (I subscribe to the belief that anger is depression turned outward) hanging constantly over your head.

I have never heard it expressed like that but to me personally that is one of the best ways I have ever heard it described and certainly would reflect my own experience of it.  A situational type of depression,  reflective of the persons own circumstances and how they react to it. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: RealSpiritof98 on August 12, 2014, 05:28:48 PM
Alan Brazil is saying something that was heard a lot more not that long ago in Ireland. Thankfully we have all become more educated on this particular issue and people, I think, understand nowadays that this is not 'an easy out' or any other cliche you might wish to use. This is the terrible culmination of a mind altering disease.

Some interesting stats: http://nsrf.ie/statistics/suicide/ (http://nsrf.ie/statistics/suicide/)


Yeah I see his colleague Stan Collymore has jumped on him.

I hope anyone suffering makes that call. There is help out there even if you've looked before. I often hear people say 'if i won the lotto all my troubles will be away' a common mis-conception. Having everything doesn't cure your illness.

please talk, dont die!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: magpie seanie on August 13, 2014, 02:40:01 PM
Quote
Anti-depressants are hard to explain to people who have never been on them, but suffice it to say, they donít give you a daily buzz or high. When they work, they let you be a better, more-in-control you without a cloud of sorrow, discontentedness or plain anger (I subscribe to the belief that anger is depression turned outward) hanging constantly over your head.

I have never heard it expressed like that but to me personally that is one of the best ways I have ever heard it described and certainly would reflect my own experience of it.  A situational type of depression,  reflective of the persons own circumstances and how they react to it.


+1
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: NAG1 on August 13, 2014, 03:14:56 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Sidney on August 13, 2014, 03:44:24 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on August 13, 2014, 04:01:44 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.

Sidney for the vast majority of people who attempt to or actually commit suicide the problems generally are temporary and have a solution. It is not the problem that pushes people to commit suicide but their inability to deal with the problem and find solutions. They maybe very serious problems but bar being terminally ill all problems can be solved. People with depression need more help than they are getting and I personally believe that we are not even scratching the surface here in Ireland. We need to have a serious look at who we are and how we cope with issues.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on August 13, 2014, 04:04:12 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.

No matter what the problem, it is a more temporary condition than the solution suicide provides.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: trileacman on August 13, 2014, 05:57:18 PM
It's easy for you lads to call it temporary but in truth you don't know the real situation.

To Robin Williams, after battling it for so many years, he came to believe that it was the relief from depression that was temporary. Rightly or wrongly that's the way he felt.

R.I.P. Robin, you fought a good fight.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on August 13, 2014, 06:12:52 PM
It's easy for you lads to call it temporary but in truth you don't know the real situation.

To Robin Williams, after battling it for so many years, he came to believe that it was the relief from depression that was temporary. Rightly or wrongly that's the way he felt.

R.I.P. Robin, you fought a good fight.

I am not saying it is temporary, I am simply saying it is MORE temporary than suicide - which is absolutely permanent.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Lar Naparka on August 13, 2014, 07:02:07 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.

No matter what the problem, it is a more temporary condition than the solution suicide provides.
Tread carefully here....
What you say makes perfect sense to any rational individual but anyone suffering from clinical depression has a warped sense of reality.
What BC1 wrote above is well worth repeating here:

"It is not the problem that pushes people to commit suicide but their inability to deal with the problem and find solutions."

There, short and succinct, lies the kernel of the problem.
It's somewhat like the old conundrum, which came first, the chicken or the egg?
To solve the problem, the individual needs to have the ability to reason logically but if he or she were able to do that, the problem wouldn't have arisen in the first place.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Farrandeelin on August 23, 2014, 10:00:56 PM
What about paranoia? I sometimes feel paranoid about how I'm perceived by those nearest and dearest to me. Then I feel bad that I'm useless and want it all to end. This probably is 'only me' who experiences it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on August 24, 2014, 12:00:37 PM
What about paranoia? I sometimes feel paranoid about how I'm perceived by those nearest and dearest to me. Then I feel bad that I'm useless and want it all to end. This probably is 'only me' who experiences it.

I would think if you can rely on anyone it would be those 'nearest and dearest' to you. Your next line moves into the territory of the rest rest of the thread. There have been some great posts here, and I certainly won't go giving advice on the subject, but have a look back through and you'll definitely find something for you. Best of luck Farr.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Hardy on August 24, 2014, 01:52:30 PM
What about paranoia? I sometimes feel paranoid about how I'm perceived by those nearest and dearest to me. Then I feel bad that I'm useless and want it all to end. This probably is 'only me' who experiences it.

It's not only you who feels it. That's the only thing of which I'm certain. In fact I'd say there are fewer people who haven't felt this than there are who have.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on August 24, 2014, 10:21:16 PM
For everyone feeling a bit down or dealing with head stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlcSZotpAhE
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 18, 2014, 10:29:25 PM
Excellent article in today's Examiner explaining how our brains play tricks with us when romantic relationships break down and why it's so difficult to deal with. Very brave of this fella to write this, he talks about his own personal experience.

The science behind a broken heart explains all (http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/the-science-behind-a-broken-heart-explains-all-291721.html)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on December 01, 2014, 08:01:07 AM
Bumping this thread now that December is upon us, just in case anyone needs to find it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Hereiam on December 01, 2014, 09:57:55 AM
Work colleague has just took a bout of depression outa the blue. Was in great form one week and the complete opposite the next. Says he is hearin voices, doctors have him on prozac. Not a nice thing.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Denn Forever on December 01, 2014, 10:43:48 AM
Not to be alarmist, but hearing voices indicated Schizophrenia?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: charlieTully on December 01, 2014, 08:59:19 PM
Work colleague has just took a bout of depression outa the blue. Was in great form one week and the complete opposite the next. Says he is hearin voices, doctors have him on prozac. Not a nice thing.

if he is hearing voices he needs medication a lot stronger than prozec. its indicative of a psychotic illness which will not be treated properly with antidepressants.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: charlieTully on December 01, 2014, 09:04:01 PM
Not to be alarmist, but hearing voices indicated Schizophrenia?

hearing voices is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia but can happen as a result of severe depression as well, what docs term a psychotic depression or can also be caused by illicit drug misuse or alcohol withdrawal.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Banter Panther on January 28, 2015, 01:52:22 PM
I read this fine OP some time ago and wondered about posting myself as it might help some people if they saw a bit of honesty. Even though I would encourage anyone with depression to speak out and not feel ashamed (why should you?), I've never really applied that rule to myself. This is my second bout of depression, and I've been very private about it up until this point. Nobody really knows the FULL extent of it.

I suffered from depression over an eight month period (roughly) in 2009. Much of it arose from the passing of my grandmother. On that occasion, counselling worked wonders for me. Although unpleasant, it was a relatively mild bout in comparison to what I have felt recently.

Over the summer, I found myself working far too much. My work does not involve much variety, it's the same routine every day. I like to think of myself as a very kind person, but I received some nasty comments over my appearance (I am very small, and seemed to get them more regularly than usual over the summer, both at work and outside of work. While I imagine most people just get on with it, for some reason I took these comments to heart more than I normally would last summer. However, despite being unhappy at the hum-drum nature of my work and the comments of others, it was not until an old friend of mine took his own life this summer that it registered with me that I was depressed. I would regularly wake up at about five in the morning, and stay awake until it was time to get up for work, spending all of this time worrying irrationally, thinking about how unhappy I was with how I look and what a useless person I am in general.

After that, my relationship broke down, which compounded matters. She did not know to any extent what was going on, and I do not hold anything against her. My self-loathing became worse. I eventually opened up to my parents who were very supportive, and my doctor was very helpful. Counselling did not work this time, as I was starting to contemplate self-harm and wondering if there was any point in living.

I have had to take medication, and I am not ashamed of that. I feel it has allowed me to get on with life, see the good in things again and given me the energy to work on the very things that have brought me down. I am currently gaining some journalistic experience which is fantastic, I have done some gym work and am much happier with how I look. I have negotiated a more reasonable work schedule and rekindled friendships with people that I lost touch with over the course of my relationship, which has also been reconciled. I drink very little, and I can safely say that that has helped me a lot. I have spoken to a select few about it, which has also helped enormously.

It may seem an unusual post from someone who rarely posts here at all, but it's been on my mind since I read the OP and I wondered if it might help to share my experience with others. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how small your 'reason' for being depressed is (I do not know why there needs to be a reason at all, in fact there doesn't), there's always help and a path to take. Most reading this may not even care. But if it helps even one person, as cliched as that may sound, then I would only be delighted!  :)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: quit yo jibbajabba on January 28, 2015, 02:40:07 PM
good man BP, and good luck on your journey
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: nrico2006 on January 28, 2015, 02:43:15 PM
Glad things are going well for you Banther Panther, takes a lot of courage to disclose whats going on in your head. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omagh_gael on January 28, 2015, 04:49:24 PM
Fair play to you BP. It sounds like you're getting back on track slowly, keep er lit!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: magpie seanie on January 28, 2015, 04:52:53 PM
Good stuff and well done for posting, I enjoyed reading it. Keep her lit as the lads say.

I really think these types of problems are really widespread in society, particularly among men. Women are better at helping each other out if they think something's up. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: deiseach on January 28, 2015, 05:13:21 PM
Great post, BP.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Banter Panther on January 28, 2015, 05:38:38 PM
Thank you all very much for your kind comments. It's a horrible condition and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: joemamas on January 28, 2015, 06:31:01 PM
BP,

Good luck with everything, stay active, Yoga may also help if you can access it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: theskull1 on January 28, 2015, 06:43:29 PM
I think you underestimate both your bravery for putting pen to paper (so to speak) in regards to your battle and indeed the help your post may give to countless others.

Fair play to you sir
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on January 28, 2015, 06:59:10 PM
Well done BP and it is great to see such a post end with a positive message.

Stay well!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Lar Naparka on January 28, 2015, 11:11:50 PM
I read this fine OP some time ago and wondered about posting myself as it might help some people if they saw a bit of honesty. Even though I would encourage anyone with depression to speak out and not feel ashamed (why should you?), I've never really applied that rule to myself. This is my second bout of depression, and I've been very private about it up until this point. Nobody really knows the FULL extent of it.

I suffered from depression over an eight month period (roughly) in 2009. Much of it arose from the passing of my grandmother. On that occasion, counselling worked wonders for me. Although unpleasant, it was a relatively mild bout in comparison to what I have felt recently.

Over the summer, I found myself working far too much. My work does not involve much variety, it's the same routine every day. I like to think of myself as a very kind person, but I received some nasty comments over my appearance (I am very small, and seemed to get them more regularly than usual over the summer, both at work and outside of work. While I imagine most people just get on with it, for some reason I took these comments to heart more than I normally would last summer. However, despite being unhappy at the hum-drum nature of my work and the comments of others, it was not until an old friend of mine took his own life this summer that it registered with me that I was depressed. I would regularly wake up at about five in the morning, and stay awake until it was time to get up for work, spending all of this time worrying irrationally, thinking about how unhappy I was with how I look and what a useless person I am in general.

After that, my relationship broke down, which compounded matters. She did not know to any extent what was going on, and I do not hold anything against her. My self-loathing became worse. I eventually opened up to my parents who were very supportive, and my doctor was very helpful. Counselling did not work this time, as I was starting to contemplate self-harm and wondering if there was any point in living.

I have had to take medication, and I am not ashamed of that. I feel it has allowed me to get on with life, see the good in things again and given me the energy to work on the very things that have brought me down. I am currently gaining some journalistic experience which is fantastic, I have done some gym work and am much happier with how I look. I have negotiated a more reasonable work schedule and rekindled friendships with people that I lost touch with over the course of my relationship, which has also been reconciled. I drink very little, and I can safely say that that has helped me a lot. I have spoken to a select few about it, which has also helped enormously.

It may seem an unusual post from someone who rarely posts here at all, but it's been on my mind since I read the OP and I wondered if it might help to share my experience with others. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how small your 'reason' for being depressed is (I do not know why there needs to be a reason at all, in fact there doesn't), there's always help and a path to take. Most reading this may not even care. But if it helps even one person, as cliched as that may sound, then I would only be delighted!  :)
The fact that you can look at what you have just gone through in a reasoned, dispassionate way means you are well on the road to recovery.  I bet the very fact that you have shared your traumatic experience with others has helped you get back on track again.
It may help you realise that many posters on here have had the same problem as you- it's a medical condition and like a cold or a dose of flu, it can hit anybody at any time.
I've been down the same road and was damn lucky to find my way back again so I know from my own experience that the worst is over for you when you feel able to stop running away from reality and can gather your thoughts sufficiently to write or talk openly about your innermost feelings.

Keep taking the tablets and I mean that in a serious way.
You will eventually make a full recovery. I know this from personal experience as well as what other fellow-victims have told me. I f you arre taking Lexapro or something similar, don't stop until your GP tells you- can't make that decision on your own after what you have been through.

Above all, keep the faith, as we say in Mayo. ;D
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: macdanger2 on January 28, 2015, 11:36:15 PM
Good post BP, takes a lot of courage to come out and talk about yourself like that.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Banter Panther on January 29, 2015, 12:45:59 AM
Again, I thank each and every one of you for your kind words. This is a fine thread. I've read through it a few times, and I'm astounded at just how many of you have been through this. If this is a snapshot of wider society, then I think it goes some way to showing us just how widespread it probably is. Sadly, it is still not talked about enough. Some day, that will change.

Last summer was an awful experience. I hope it is one I never have to relive. I am confident I won't have to. If you are feeling down, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's a bit sad that we still have to reiterate that, but so be it. Last summer, my sleep was constantly interrupted. When it was, my mind would force me to pass the time until work by repeating to me why I was such a bad person. My mind paralysed me. I had problems, but due to my paralysis I could not work on them. Medication has given me the leg-up I needed to work on those things, and there's no shame in that. Why should we be forced to continue on in our daily lives with a MEDICAL CONDITION that forces us to hate ourselves, a condition that takes the joy out of EVERYTHING (not a shit I could have given about last year's championship), breaks up relationships and friendships. In my case, it got to the point where I broke down in tears to my father and told him I hated myself. Why I allowed myself to suffer to that point is now beyond me.

If you are going through tough times, don't be stupid. Apply a bit of common sense. If you have a broken leg, you don't walk around on it, and you would think that person to be a f**king eejit if they did. Why would you keep going around without seeing to a broken mind?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on January 29, 2015, 01:56:52 AM
Good man, BP. Sounds like you were able to recognize the problem for the debilitating condition it is, which is a very important first step. Thanks for sharing. Everyone who shares their experience makes it easier for the next person to open up.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fiodoir Ard Mhacha on January 29, 2015, 01:04:58 PM
Great, honest post, BP. I keep a diary and note down any positive stuff I hear or read. My situation not on a par with yours but one mantra I try to follow is 'keep all ups and downs in perspective'. It doesn't always work but it's such a simple rule of life.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Mayo4Sam on January 29, 2015, 02:38:56 PM
Excellent posts BP, they are a credit to you. Takes a hell of a lot more courage to come out with something like this than the people who made comments about your appearance will ever have.
As the cool kids say - props!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: nrico2006 on January 30, 2015, 10:42:52 AM
Good to read the posts, a lot of people seem to have bother with depression and a friend of mine has suffered badly with anxiety the past few months and only told me about it last week.  Knew he wasn't himself but I didn't pick up on it. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on January 30, 2015, 11:10:16 AM
Good to read the posts, a lot of people seem to have bother with depression and a friend of mine has suffered badly with anxiety the past few months and only told me about it last week.  Knew he wasn't himself but I didn't pick up on it.

The point though is that you did pick up on it because you say that he wasn't himself.   People seem to think that depression will have this big neon sign like symptom that shouts out I am depressed.  It doesn't,  but you will notice changes in people's behaviour.  Maybe they seem distracted and distant when you're having a conversation, maybe they start missing the 5 aside or the Friday night pint you always have, maybe they are just very quiet when you are in their company, maybe they don't return the text or phonecall,  there are many different signals and all it can take is for you just to go to them and say come on out for a walk or a coffee or something where they can talk openly with you.  If someone does open up be present with them, really listen to them, be calm when you're talking to them because sometimes when people are opening up other people can get very 'oh God I never realised' and turn it round into a whole 'I'm sorry' session and lose the whole run of the thing, don't try to solve their problems,  it's not your job, don't try to understand unless you truly understand, empathy is something that needs to be true and to say to someone who is suffering from depression that you know how they feel when you clearly don't is not a good thing.  Don't compare them to someone else who is suffering or you think is suffering something as well.  It really angers me when I hear 'sure look at Johnny, he's had his leg cut off and you don't hear him complaining!'.  Of course you don't because he is like everyone else of us, he hides his pain but when he is in the privacy of his own home or the comfort of his own people he no doubt let's go of a few things.  The problem with depression is that it is such a personal illness and an invisible one that it is so hard to understand what is best to do.  Simply by listening and saying something like, you know you can talk to me anytime, and really mean that, then this can make a huge difference to someone who feels so lonely and isolated in their own lives.  To be isolated in you own head is the most debilitating thing I can imagine as the lose of control is numbing and can seem perpetual some times, but it isn't thankfully.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Captain Obvious on February 07, 2015, 12:56:03 AM
http://m.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/gaelic-football/shane-carthy-on-battle-with-depression-my-thoughts-were-of-ending-my-life-really-30966263.html
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on March 27, 2015, 09:40:31 PM
Reposting this from my FB wall:

Chris was an old friend from my primary school days. I never saw much of him after we parted ways and went to different secondary schools, but itís funny how the friendships you form at that age seem deeper.  Any time I run into my old primary school mates it's always a happy reunion, weíre always glad to see that each other is doing well, is fit and healthy. When you knew what someone was like in their formative years and you see them later as adults, you get a real sense of how far theyíve come and the great life experiences they must have had in the meantime. Bumping into Chris was no different. He was always full of life, plenty of energy, and a great sense of humor. It always amazed me how he kept his spirits up in school even though our teacher in the last two years used to beat the head off him and humiliate him in front of the class at the slightest excuse. Maybe he just resented Chrisí energy and positive outlook.

I remember how excited he was when heíd mastered the art of swimming. Years later when I was at university I read a newspaper report about someone of the same name and from the same town, whom I presumed to be the same fella, getting pushed off the side of a ship that was docking in Belfast. He swam to the wharf and got out safely. I thought if anyone could survive and ordeal like that it was him, and itís a good thing that he learned that skill.

Last night I got a bit of news that Chris ended his life last week.  We donít know much about it, apart from that heíd been living in England for a while and there was a marital split recently.

This isnít the first time Iíve lost an old friend to mental illness, and once again it was the last person youíd expect.  There are times when I wonder if it would be different if people, men in particular, felt more free to talk about their feelings when things arenít going right. Depression is a debilitating condition, and itís as legitimate a medical problem as a broken leg or a viral infection. Itís also potentially deadly. We should feel free to talk about it, because thatís a critical part of dealing with it and getting through it. Thereís no need for depression to be stigmatized.

On a related point I must say it bugs me when I read about a high profile personís death in the Irish media and itís reported a ďsudden death,Ē but the actual cause of death isnít mentioned. When someone dies in a road accident, or of cancer, or some other illness, the cause of death is usually spelled out. But if you read all the way to the end of an article and they still havenít named the cause of death, you know that itís a euphemism for suicide. Itís almost as if theyíre afraid to mention it, adding to the culture of taboo surrounding the subject. They say itís because they donít want to upset the family, but I donít understand how this particular cause of death should be treated different from any other. This kind of coverage is unhelpful in my opinion.

We have a long way to go before we do a better job of dealing with depression.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyCake on March 28, 2015, 02:14:41 AM
Anyone have knowledge of diagnosis of bipolar? Does someone need admitted and assessed over a number of days, or what? There is a reason for asking, just too long a story to go into now.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DrinkingHarp on March 28, 2015, 05:58:35 AM
Anyone have knowledge of diagnosis of bipolar? Does someone need admitted and assessed over a number of days, or what? There is a reason for asking, just too long a story to go into now.

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-diagnosis

Don't know the parameters of your situation but when I worked in the ER in the hospital here in the states we had many family members, friends and individuals who brought people or themselves in. The doctors would usually do a 24-48 psych evaluation if there was hint of harm to the patient or others because of the situation. I believe if there was no threat they would do an outpatient evaluation after attending to the patient and situation. Each individual is different so take what appropriate action you believe is needed.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: trileacman on March 28, 2015, 09:30:47 AM
Anyone have knowledge of diagnosis of bipolar? Does someone need admitted and assessed over a number of days, or what? There is a reason for asking, just too long a story to go into now.

No offence but you need to ask that to a doctor or other people qualified to tell you. The possibly wildy inaccurate opinions of a handful of keyboard warriors is not what you want to take without a large pinch of salt. Myself included.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on March 28, 2015, 10:41:42 AM
Anyone have knowledge of diagnosis of bipolar? Does someone need admitted and assessed over a number of days, or what? There is a reason for asking, just too long a story to go into now.

No offence but you need to ask that to a doctor or other people qualified to tell you. The possibly wildy inaccurate opinions of a handful of keyboard warriors is not what you want to take without a large pinch of salt. Myself included.

In my own experience, I found talking to someone who'd been or was still going through the same things to be the most helpful. Whether it was addiction, depression or anxiety I found doctors and psychiatrists(I remember one particular b!tch who charged a small fortune and had the empathy of a saltwater crocodile) sometimes just didn't get it , though I was lucky enough to meet one or two who were excellent.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omagh_gael on March 28, 2015, 11:34:47 AM
There is a range of different bipolar disorders of varying intensities and duration. As already mentioned, the individual's GP (community psychiatric nurse, if they have one) should be the first port of call.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: trileacman on March 28, 2015, 01:53:47 PM
Anyone have knowledge of diagnosis of bipolar? Does someone need admitted and assessed over a number of days, or what? There is a reason for asking, just too long a story to go into now.

No offence but you need to ask that to a doctor or other people qualified to tell you. The possibly wildy inaccurate opinions of a handful of keyboard warriors is not what you want to take without a large pinch of salt. Myself included.

In my own experience, I found talking to someone who'd been or was still going through the same things to be the most helpful. Whether it was addiction, depression or anxiety I found doctors and psychiatrists(I remember one particular b!tch who charged a small fortune and had the empathy of a saltwater crocodile) sometimes just didn't get it , though I was lucky enough to meet one or two who were excellent.

That may be true but I'm just advocating caution when looking for advice on here where at times the truth is particularly muddled and at worst deliberately twisted to suit certain ideologies.

*I mean the board in general not specifically this thread which is fairly decent.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyCake on March 28, 2015, 04:38:22 PM
All posts appreciated.

My worry is, if a person has bipolar, would they necessarily know they had something wrong with them? And if nobody around them sees nothing out of the ordinary with them (maybe because they don't know the signs), then how will they ever be diagnosed with bipolar?

I seen a clip of Stephen Fry, and he said his view of normality is different to people without bipolar. So if he sees nothing wrong with his behaviour, how does he know he's behaving abnormally?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: theticklemister on March 28, 2015, 06:13:03 PM
Played at the Pieter House Mental Health /Suicide Awareness 'Darkness into Light' opening function in Liverpool last night. Great crowd for a worthy cause. There will be a walk/run coming up in May at 4.30 in the morn to raise awareness about this.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on March 28, 2015, 08:00:28 PM

That may be true but I'm just advocating caution when looking for advice on here where at times the truth is particularly muddled and at worst deliberately twisted to suit certain ideologies.

*I mean the board in general not specifically this thread which is fairly decent.

Your advice is right trileacman. I just have a personal thing about doctors, based on that one psychiatrist and a couple of dermatologists(who are imo a complete waste of time and money).

This website might be helpful Benny

http://www.healthline.com/health/could-it-be-bipolar-seven-signs-to-look-for

If you let your friend know you're there, you're concerned and you'd love to help them I think they will appreciate it, even if they don't accept the help.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on March 28, 2015, 08:25:52 PM
All posts appreciated.

My worry is, if a person has bipolar, would they necessarily know they had something wrong with them? And if nobody around them sees nothing out of the ordinary with them (maybe because they don't know the signs), then how will they ever be diagnosed with bipolar?

I seen a clip of Stephen Fry, and he said his view of normality is different to people without bipolar. So if he sees nothing wrong with his behaviour, how does he know he's behaving abnormally?
They might feel strange or have something happen that would lead them to  the doctor who would ask them questions and identify the condition.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on March 31, 2015, 10:48:18 PM
All posts appreciated.

My worry is, if a person has bipolar, would they necessarily know they had something wrong with them? And if nobody around them sees nothing out of the ordinary with them (maybe because they don't know the signs), then how will they ever be diagnosed with bipolar?

I seen a clip of Stephen Fry, and he said his view of normality is different to people without bipolar. So if he sees nothing wrong with his behaviour, how does he know he's behaving abnormally?
He might not be aware he's behaving abnormally at the time ,but later on he would.
There's no one bipolar situation.
And a lay person, friend or family would become aware that something serious is up, but not necessarily be aware enough to fit the various pieces of dysfunction into a bipolar picture. Regular extreme symptoms , can be  yelling and  screaming about how somebody has treated you or your partner, and it's totally out of control and totally out of proportion.  So yes during the action, the bipolar person would not be aware what they are doing is "abnormal", but later on they would, at least to some extent and I don't think it would be a big shift for them to get (or be encouraged to get) psychiatric help, unless they were paranoid as well, paranoid to the extent where they were doing some delusions.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: larryin89 on May 20, 2015, 11:37:20 PM
Dealt with depression on my own for a long time , lately i have felt myself going into a very dark place and it scares me . I can shake it off and talk myself around to thinking that things will get better but then I go back into this fuckin weird zone like asking myself  , what's the point there's nothing to be gained by carrying on through life like this , this only lasts for a brief period would end when I finish crying and wallowing in self pity by me sort of kicking myself up the hole and telling myself to cop on to f**k.  It's hard to explain and I probably shouldn't of typed in here but sure what harm can it do really .
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: eddie d on May 21, 2015, 01:48:11 AM
Dealt with depression on my own for a long time , lately i have felt myself going into a very dark place and it scares me . I can shake it off and talk myself around to thinking that things will get better but then I go back into this fuckin weird zone like asking myself  , what's the point there's nothing to be gained by carrying on through life like this , this only lasts for a brief period would end when I finish crying and wallowing in self pity by me sort of kicking myself up the hole and telling myself to cop on to f**k.  It's hard to explain and I probably shouldn't of typed in here but sure what harm can it do really .

I don't know how helpful I can be but I hope you feel somewhat better that you did type this up. That by coming on and sharing has lifted some of the pain or burden that you may experience.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: AZOffaly on May 21, 2015, 07:54:21 AM
Larry, with all due respect to the lads here, and recognising the courage it takes to type something like that, I think you just should go and have a chat with someone you know and trust. Parent, sibling, partner etc. or better again contact someone that might be able to really help you. Pieta House do a brilliant job. Best of luck to you Larry, and I hope typing it helped a little, but I'm serious about going to talk to someone properly.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on May 21, 2015, 12:05:15 PM
Larry, with all due respect to the lads here, and recognising the courage it takes to type something like that, I think you just should go and have a chat with someone you know and trust. Parent, sibling, partner etc. or better again contact someone that might be able to really help you. Pieta House do a brilliant job. Best of luck to you Larry, and I hope typing it helped a little, but I'm serious about going to talk to someone properly.

Agreed. It takes courage to post what you did, but I think AZ is right.

Best of luck with it. And remember, there is no way I will be missing if we finally land Sam!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on May 22, 2015, 12:43:28 AM
Dealt with depression on my own for a long time , lately i have felt myself going into a very dark place and it scares me . I can shake it off and talk myself around to thinking that things will get better but then I go back into this fuckin weird zone like asking myself  , what's the point there's nothing to be gained by carrying on through life like this , this only lasts for a brief period would end when I finish crying and wallowing in self pity by me sort of kicking myself up the hole and telling myself to cop on to f**k.  It's hard to explain and I probably shouldn't of typed in here but sure what harm can it do really
It's the depression thread and this is exactly the appropriate place for an off the cuff post like yours.
When you can cry, then that's the best thing you can do to release buried emotions.  There's nothing on the planet that works better, it's the body's  own mechanism to rid itself of emotions that have been stored. Sometimes we are reluctant to go to that place where the pain is, because that's where it really hurts. Children don't have that issue, they just let it rip but then they go to school and learn how not to.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Bearded One on June 08, 2015, 11:57:32 PM
With the tragic death of the young lad in Clonoe I just thought it appropriate to bump this thread up to the top again. There's always an ear ready to listen if you have a problem, no matter how small or big you think it is.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on June 09, 2015, 03:42:02 AM
Dealt with depression on my own for a long time , lately i have felt myself going into a very dark place and it scares me . I can shake it off and talk myself around to thinking that things will get better but then I go back into this fuckin weird zone like asking myself  , what's the point there's nothing to be gained by carrying on through life like this , this only lasts for a brief period would end when I finish crying and wallowing in self pity by me sort of kicking myself up the hole and telling myself to cop on to f**k.  It's hard to explain and I probably shouldn't of typed in here but sure what harm can it do really
It's the depression thread and this is exactly the appropriate place for an off the cuff post like yours.
When you can cry, then that's the best thing you can do to release buried emotions.  There's nothing on the planet that works better, it's the body's  own mechanism to rid itself of emotions that have been stored. Sometimes we are reluctant to go to that place where the pain is, because that's where it really hurts. Children don't have that issue, they just let it rip but then they go to school and learn how not to.

Very good post, but is this last bit correct?

Is that what school teaches about depression?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on June 09, 2015, 06:45:13 AM
Dealt with depression on my own for a long time , lately i have felt myself going into a very dark place and it scares me . I can shake it off and talk myself around to thinking that things will get better but then I go back into this fuckin weird zone like asking myself  , what's the point there's nothing to be gained by carrying on through life like this , this only lasts for a brief period would end when I finish crying and wallowing in self pity by me sort of kicking myself up the hole and telling myself to cop on to f**k.  It's hard to explain and I probably shouldn't of typed in here but sure what harm can it do really
It's the depression thread and this is exactly the appropriate place for an off the cuff post like yours.
When you can cry, then that's the best thing you can do to release buried emotions.  There's nothing on the planet that works better, it's the body's  own mechanism to rid itself of emotions that have been stored. Sometimes we are reluctant to go to that place where the pain is, because that's where it really hurts. Children don't have that issue, they just let it rip but then they go to school and learn how not to.

Very good post, but is this last bit correct?

Is that what school teaches about depression?

I think he was wasn't saying that school teaches that as such, more that the social constraints associated with being in a group that you encounter when going to school.

Very good thread this actually and if any posters feel that this is a place they can come and share their feelings do it. Its obviously not as good as talking face to face or even anonymously on the phone to the Samaritans or whoever but its a quick and easy anonymous outlet and you'll be guaranteed nothing but support.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Denn Forever on June 21, 2015, 11:53:25 AM
Great documentaries by Stephen Fry.

Part 1  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGDl6-lyfMY

Part 2   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF7yiQxn35I
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Farrandeelin on November 15, 2015, 10:20:57 PM
Bumping this up again due to the time of year.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: From the Bunker on November 16, 2015, 07:30:40 AM
Bumping this up again due to the time of year.

Yeah. Important to be occupied with something positive this time of year.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on November 22, 2015, 09:37:22 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Mayo4Sam on November 23, 2015, 04:02:41 PM
Ironmind - very good programme and that girl who's sister committed suicide was very brave, a very hard thing to do never mind doing it on camera, fair play to her
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on November 23, 2015, 06:46:39 PM
Ironmind - very good programme and that girl who's sister committed suicide was very brave, a very hard thing to do never mind doing it on camera, fair play to her
I thought each one of them were great. It was comforting to hear other people say things they may have thought about themselves at certain times in their life's that you may have thought about yourself at times.
I suppose its always nice to know you're not the only one to experience certain feelings.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on November 30, 2015, 01:17:39 PM
http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: magpie seanie on November 30, 2015, 01:20:13 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.


Stepping up the running this week.....
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on November 30, 2015, 01:33:30 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.


Stepping up the running this week.....
Good man. I signed up for the  Spar Great Ireland Run 10k there are few minutes ago. Something to aim for with training over the winter. Its not until April but I believe it sells out fast.

The second part of that programme was on last night. Once again it was excellent.
One of the best things RTE have done in a long time. 4 very likeable people and yer man Bressie also came across as a very genuine bloke. If anyone hasn't seen it I would highly recommend watching it on the rte player.
It was difficult to watch at times but also very emotional.
I thought the part where the fella from Mullingar spoke to his parents was great.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: heffo on November 30, 2015, 02:04:10 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.


Stepping up the running this week.....
Good man. I signed up for the  Spar Great Ireland Run 10k there are few minutes ago. Something to aim for with training over the winter. Its not until April but I believe it sells out fast.

The second part of that programme was on last night. Once again it was excellent.
One of the best things RTE have done in a long time. 4 very likeable people and yer man Bressie also came across as a very genuine bloke. If anyone hasn't seen it I would highly recommend watching it on the rte player.
It was difficult to watch at times but also very emotional.
I thought the part where the fella from Mullingar spoke to his parents was great.

Thought both episodes were excellent - like the points above, the four people featured were all very 'normal' - anyone could relate to them.

They were all very brave and inspirational - it's great to see the issue of mental well being getting so much coverage over the last couple of years, hopefully it leads to more people feeling they can talk about things that are bothering them.

I thought Bressie came across very well and a likeable person.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ballinaman on November 30, 2015, 02:14:31 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.


Stepping up the running this week.....
Good man. I signed up for the  Spar Great Ireland Run 10k there are few minutes ago. Something to aim for with training over the winter. Its not until April but I believe it sells out fast.

The second part of that programme was on last night. Once again it was excellent.
One of the best things RTE have done in a long time. 4 very likeable people and yer man Bressie also came across as a very genuine bloke. If anyone hasn't seen it I would highly recommend watching it on the rte player.
It was difficult to watch at times but also very emotional.
I thought the part where the fella from Mullingar spoke to his parents was great.

Thought both episodes were excellent - like the points above, the four people featured were all very 'normal' - anyone could relate to them.

They were all very brave and inspirational - it's great to see the issue of mental well being getting so much coverage over the last couple of years, hopefully it leads to more people feeling they can talk about things that are bothering them.

I thought Bressie came across very well and a likeable person.
Thought it one of the best shows RTE have produced in a long time.
The tri in blacksod which was on the start of last nights show was no joke, did the run section that day as part of the relay.
Read Bressies book there too...good insight for a person like myself who wouldn't know a whole pile about mental health issues. He seems like a decent chap....which is irritating as the woman is mad about him...the handsome bollox. ;D
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: AZOffaly on November 30, 2015, 02:45:12 PM
Jesus I had no idea about Maurice Shanahan and his struggle with depression. This is a fairly candid interview. Imagine his sister receiving this text. Luckily he seems to be feeling a lot better these days, and it's great his friends and family have been so strong for him. Best wishes to him.

http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html (http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on November 30, 2015, 02:52:26 PM
Jesus I had no idea about Maurice Shanahan and his struggle with depression. This is a fairly candid interview. Imagine his sister receiving this text. Luckily he seems to be feeling a lot better these days, and it's great his friends and family have been so strong for him. Best wishes to him.

http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html (http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html)
A hard thing to reveal but massively important. And the fact he won an Allstar after everything is inspirational.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Iceman on November 30, 2015, 04:26:06 PM
We lost a young man in our parish this weekend. A quiet fella I barely knew who went through Confirmation with us in 2013 before I really got involved with the group. He took his life at 19. A troubled young man who left many lessons to learn from his final note.  I ask you to take the time to read this - he suffered from depression and your sibling, your best friend, your cousin you neighbour could be in the very same miindframe and you haven't checked in, or said hello. RIP

My Last Note
Oh shit does ďFinalĒ sound better?
Jared Haman

Dear reader,

    How you came upon this letter doesnít matter much to me. If youíre interested in reading it then I certainly canít stop you. However, I ask that you proceed with the understanding that this will be lengthy and poorly written. As it is my final work I am sure you can understand that I am putting a lot of what I have on my mind onto the page and I have no intention of peer review or rough draft iterations. I cannot promise anything at this stage, but I do hope that whatever you end up reading is interesting to you.
    Iím tired. Looking at the world Iíve built around me I find myself recognizing its shoddy foundations; the only things worth looking at in my world are gifts given to me by those who believed in me, cared for me, loved me in whatever way they did. Currently my life looks nice. Itís filled with the good will of family and friends and every day it seems to be built higher and higher on their love. But the foundations: they will not hold. This lovingly crafted existence that I call my life and my home is entirely undeserved. None of it is mine and none of it has been won by my own hand. I may be dense and dumb at times but I am not an idiot. I know what happens to people whose lives are built on the love of others and not their own. That life is something I do not want, and I can see it before me. I can feel the foundations shaking.
    Anyone who has spent more than a passing conversation with me knows I am an intensely stubborn, pompous, and proud person. At times I try to hide it behind a meek exterior, but I know who I am on the inside and I relish it. Those around me have often debated whether these are virtues or vices, and honestly I have seen both sides. In the right hands pride and tenacity are tools without equal. They can lead to great things and great people, changing reality around their masters with sheer force of will. But that is where I fall short. I have no will left in me. No desire or drive to change my life or do anything really. To be honest, writing this and what comes after are the first things Iíve had any will to do in weeks. It would be unfair to say this is a new problem though. Iíve been this way as long as I can remember. Time after time I have rejected every opportunity for success presented to me by those who cared for me. I was too proud. Too stubborn. I would make my own path. Time passed and nothing changed until the very last second before my shaky foundation would fall apart. At the eleventh hour I would fight with all my energy, lie, cheat, bombard closed doors around me until I stole into an opportunity that by all rights should not have existed. It was unsustainable, reckless, and put strain on all those around me. I barely scraped by not because it was hard, not because the world was against me, but because I was against myself.
    Perhaps it was this recognition of my own shortcomings that changed me. Maybe it was as far back as middle school. Truthfully I cannot recall much of my life anymore. I only know who I am now and the things I, the me of now, have done. Throughout this repeated cycle of  mistakes and trusting in my own strength rather than anything else around me, I found that there were still those around me who cared about me even knowing how much I had fucked up. On a certain level I suppose this was comforting, and perhaps if I had treated it that way I might have turned out more well adapted, but I didnít. I grew to resent those who stuck with me through the hard times. I hated being cared for unconditionally by those around me because it reminded me of what a shitty person I was. I didnít deserve this and, at the time, I thought I didnít want it either. I isolated myself: alienated everyone who loved me in any way whatsoever. Time after time I would leave those I cared about behind. I would myself from friend after friend, always finding ways to avoid spending time with them or going out with them or even just texting back. Communities too I would leave behind trying to avoid what beginning to feel too much like home: any place that accepted me too well and I grew too fond of was left behind to spare me the trouble. I continued to do this for years, even after graduation, to anyone who got too friendly: to anyone I grew to care for myself. All but once.
    The saying goes something like ďrecognizing your problems is the first step to solving themĒ or something like that. I donít know. This isnít being graded on MLA citations. The thing is, I donít want to change. Iím not happy, sure, but Iím not depressed either. Iím just empty. Iím content and it drives me nuts. Even after throwing away a private education, all my friends, and my college education, I just donít f**king care. This is an odd thing to put here and an odd thing to say in general, but I feel like I never cry. Sure, my eyes well up every once in awhile when something traumatic happens or I get emotionally attached, but I never break down and cry like I feel I should. Like the people I care about do. I never wept a single tear for my uncle or grandfather. I donít think I even missed a minute of sleep. I was sad, but it never broke me. Iím so detached that I donít really understand it anymore. Iím content with my life right now even after throwing away or losing everything I thought was important to me. And that drives me insane because I know the only thing holding me up is the love others have given to me. I know I would need to change to be happy. I even know the changes I would need to make to be happy. I just have no will to change.
    I could make some stupid ass paragraph about how Iím doing this because I donít want to hurt people or I donít want to be a burden, but thatís not true. I know Iím being selfish and I know that this is because I canít deal with myself. But that doesnít mean I donít care. I really do, I just want to be happy too. And I know what I would have to do to make that work but I donít want to make those choices. Itís not even hard. Iím just lazy. And Iím okay with that. So I guess this is just my way of alienating myself from the guilt and the love and the happiness permanently. Honestly nobody in my life has ever done me any wrong or harm. I can think of negative memories, sure, but nobody has ever done anything to make me dislike them. Not in any deserved way anyhow. Anyone who ever even smiled for me did more than enough to make a difference for everyone around them. But this isnít about anyone else. This is about me and I have to face that.
    Mom, Dad, Justin. I love you. I feel like I should apologize but I hate apologizing for things I know I am going to do anyways. You are the best family anyone can ask for and I want you to know that you raised me right. Donít let anyone take that away from you just because of a decision your son made. I want you to know Iíve been thinking about you a lot the time Iíve been seriously contemplating this and I understand the pain I am inflicting on you by doing this. You have every right to be upset with me, and I have no right to ask this of you, but please donít hate me for this. You know how stubborn I am so I hope you understand why I never brought this up.
    I know pompous suicide speeches like these classically end with curses on enemies, but I donít really have any of those so Iíll end with a blessing instead. I wish you all the very best in your lives: happiness, ambition, success, belonging. Donít make the choices that led me here. Itís not a very fun place even if youíre a coward like I am. Donít rely on the love of others. We all have hearts to give. To love is to be vulnerable. It hurts but hey, the only person that can hurt you is yourself. Anyways youíre probably tired of reading a reflection by a hypocrite, and honestly Iím sort of hating how this thing reads. Itís really hard to express feeling sometimes, yíknow? I wish you all the best.

TL;DR - Iím an asshole who refuses to change, and itís killing me, so Iím isolating myself from myself.

ďInto what dangers would you lead me, Cassius,
That you would have me seek into myself
For that which is not in me?Ē

ďCaesar now be still: I kill'd not thee with half so good a will.Ē

Goodnight,
Jared Daniel Haman
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on November 30, 2015, 05:29:49 PM
F*ck me that is a hard read. But well worth taking the time.

Thanks for posting it Iceman.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: blewuporstuffed on December 01, 2015, 02:27:20 PM
Jesus I had no idea about Maurice Shanahan and his struggle with depression. This is a fairly candid interview. Imagine his sister receiving this text. Luckily he seems to be feeling a lot better these days, and it's great his friends and family have been so strong for him. Best wishes to him.

http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html (http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html)
A hard thing to reveal but massively important. And the fact he won an Allstar after everything is inspirational.

you can listen to his interview here

https://soundcloud.com/wlrfmwaterford/maurice-shanahan-on-wlr-fm (https://soundcloud.com/wlrfmwaterford/maurice-shanahan-on-wlr-fm)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on December 04, 2015, 08:03:13 AM
A book that is very good for changing depressive thinking patterns is "Overcoming Depression" by Paul Gilbert. It goes in depth into how depression works and how to fight it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DennistheMenace on February 08, 2016, 08:48:39 AM
Bumping this thread.

Such a terrible silent illness.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on February 08, 2016, 09:14:22 AM
Very sad suicide at home 2 weeks ago. When you think it could have been treated.

A friend of mine lost her sister 16 years ago. Now her baby brother has 3 kids. They will never know their aunt .
Carlow had a mental health slogan on the jersey.  There is one in Dublin airport. "Suicide awareness. Living is winning".
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DennistheMenace on February 08, 2016, 09:36:06 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on February 08, 2016, 11:01:28 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnneycool on February 08, 2016, 11:05:02 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: NAG1 on February 08, 2016, 11:11:45 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.

In what context JC? To me its looks like apples and oranges.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnneycool on February 08, 2016, 11:48:32 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.

In what context JC? To me its looks like apples and oranges.

The 2K odd deaths of the troubles are much lamented and rightly so, but the deaths from suicide are very much brushed under the carpet up until very recently.
There'll be nothing done on suicide and mental illness until its highlighted and put into black and white for people to comprehend.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on February 08, 2016, 12:12:09 PM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.

In what context JC? To me its looks like apples and oranges.

The 2K odd deaths of the troubles are much lamented and rightly so, but the deaths from suicide are very much brushed under the carpet up until very recently.
There'll be nothing done on suicide and mental illness until its highlighted and put into black and white for people to comprehend.

The historical stats for suicides in Ireland are not very accurate though as anecdotally there were many cases of suicide that were recorded as accident or something else as there would have been ramifications for calling it suicide, eg burial issues, the sense of 'shame' and gossip culture, financial ramifications in respect of benefits etc. I wouldn't associate the numbers at all as they are not comparable.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: No wides on February 08, 2016, 12:56:43 PM
Agree with brokencrossbar and also suicide was seen by the catholic church as a mortal sin and as such you were't entitled to a christian burial, so I am sure poor bereaved parents all over Ireland lied that it was suicide.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: stiffler on February 08, 2016, 05:05:36 PM
Even to this day the number of suicides per published figures are understated.

For example if someone takes their own life by crashing a motor vehicle it may be recorded as a RTA.

A major problem in today's society, and more needs to be done across the board.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on February 08, 2016, 05:58:16 PM
Even to this day the number of suicides per published figures are understated.

For example if someone takes their own life by crashing a motor vehicle it may be recorded as a RTA.

A major problem in today's society, and more needs to be done across the board.
There was an awful such case in the papers last week. Depressed 17 year old crashed his car into a car carrying a pregnant woman and her husband. Both mother and baby were lost.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: 50fiftyball on March 21, 2016, 12:33:45 AM
There just simply isn't the money put into improvement in the mental health area, there was a young fella from County Derry last week took his own life. He apparently sought help for his depression and didn't get the help he was looking for, this isn't the first instance I've heard of this, the counsellors who are working in our health centre / GP's practice are over resourced and making an appointment with them can be as far as 5 and 6 weeks away, which is no good to someone seeking immediate help!!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on March 21, 2016, 04:31:48 AM
So much good being done to fight the stigma of mental illness with the cycle against suicide , ads on county jerseys, press articles, Pieta House etc but 2 fellas I was at school with were lost in the last 2 months .
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Cunny Funt on May 06, 2016, 05:50:51 PM
Many here doing the darkness into the light 5km walk or run at 4:15am?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 22, 2016, 12:31:45 AM
Bump

I've had my share over the years.

Not good tonight.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on May 22, 2016, 12:42:56 AM
Bump

I've had my share over the years.

Not good tonight.

Keep the head up lad, have a chat with someone if they are around, about anything.

It will seem much better in the morning, and by the time tomorrow evening comes around we will have hammered them cnuts into the ground and all will be well in world :)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 22, 2016, 12:44:46 AM
Thanks. Not so good when that game doesn't even raise the dander in me.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: whiskeysteve on May 22, 2016, 01:05:01 AM
Thanks. Not so good when that game doesn't even raise the dander in me.

Red hand man, get talking to anyone at all if you can and if you cant, at least sharing your feelings on a forum like this is a brave step and you are the better man for it. There are many on here who will take you on board in all seriousness and sympathy.

Getting through tonight will be a step in the right direction and the atmosphere tomorrow will take care of itself.

There will always be people out there who will listen to you and support you at any hour of the day - even complete strangers  :D The more you reach out the more you will find this out I promise. And a number of people on here have had serious experience with depression and will volunteer plenty of advice and know exactly where you are coming from. However you get through tonight, just remember you are absolutely not alone and never forget it!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on May 22, 2016, 01:11:12 AM
Thanks. Not so good when that game doesn't even raise the dander in me.

Well you know what?

Go to bed now and get up tomorrow and if you werent intending to go tomorrow make a point of going to it, if it is in anyway possible. There is nothing like the first round of the championship, the smell of burgers and onions, fags, the crowds, the tension, the roar, the scores, the banter, the radio on the way home. Deadly stuff!

I dont know what way you are spiritually but Im at home with my daughter at the minute on the other side of the planet. And we will say a prayer for ye.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Gold on May 22, 2016, 01:51:05 AM
I agree with what the others have said. ..get yourself to that match tomorrow.  The craic and buzz is something you forget.  The ulster championship will lift you, as will we.

Plus, at least your not from Antrim...we'd to travel near 100 mile to get walloped ....but lose (as we do more than most) or win the craic and life at these (our) games is a form of escapism that lifts all of us.

Keep the head up and good on ya for reaching out. Keep reaching out, never stop
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on May 23, 2016, 04:41:23 PM
Thanks. Not so good when that game doesn't even raise the dander in me.
it will get a lot better even if you can't see it at 3am
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 05:52:49 PM
The posts here are greatly appreciated and they did help.

Going through a hard time right now. I've came through them before though.  I'll keep trying.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omagh_gael on May 23, 2016, 08:40:01 PM
Good man RHM, did you watch the game yesterday?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on May 23, 2016, 09:13:49 PM
Have ya tried going for a run RHM?

I guarantee you'll feel your mood changing for the better pretty quickly if you do. I try to always head out for a run if i'm feeling anxious, stressed or depressed. Download a couple of podcasts, second captains is a good one....
https://soundcloud.com/secondcaptains-it-com
.... and just run. If you get too tired, walk for a while and then run some more. When you come home an hour or two later, you'll feel better and more relaxed.

Good luck with it man.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on May 23, 2016, 09:16:36 PM
Have ya tried going for a run RHM?

I guarantee you'll feel your mood changing for the better pretty quickly if you do. I try to always head out for a run if i'm feeling anxious, stressed or depressed. Download a couple of podcasts, second captains is a good one....
https://soundcloud.com/secondcaptains-it-com
.... and just run. If you get too tired, walk for a while and then run some more. When you come home an hour or two later, you'll feel better and more relaxed.

Good luck with it man.
+1
The wife will actually tell me to go for a run when she can see me getting a bit down or stressed out.
I'm sure any type of activity will work the same be it running,swimming or cycling etc.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on May 23, 2016, 09:19:40 PM
Thanks. Not so good when that game doesn't even raise the dander in me.

Well you know what?

Go to bed now and get up tomorrow and if you werent intending to go tomorrow make a point of going to it, if it is in anyway possible. There is nothing like the first round of the championship, the smell of burgers and onions, fags, the crowds, the tension, the roar, the scores, the banter, the radio on the way home. Deadly stuff!

I dont know what way you are spiritually but Im at home with my daughter at the minute on the other side of the planet. And we will say a prayer for ye.
They do smell nice, but I don't think you're supposed to call them that anymore.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 09:34:47 PM
Good man RHM, did you watch the game yesterday?

A mate called me yesterday morning and asked me to go to the game with him.

I actually got paranoid thinking he had somehow read this thread and realised it was me.  I went anyway, and enjoyed it. Thanks to the prompts on here.

It lifted the siege for a few hours.

It's really strange.  From the outside, I have no worries. Great wife, fantastic children, not stuck for a bob or two. The way I feel has no logic what so ever.

It's actually scary.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Gold on May 23, 2016, 11:09:03 PM
Good man RHM, did you watch the game yesterday?

A mate called me yesterday morning and asked me to go to the game with him.

I actually got paranoid thinking he had somehow read this thread and realised it was me.  I went anyway, and enjoyed it. Thanks to the prompts on here.

It lifted the siege for a few hours.

It's really strange.  From the outside, I have no worries. Great wife, fantastic children, not stuck for a bob or two. The way I feel has no logic what so ever.

It's actually scary.

But can be beaten

Keep  talking on here...people all over Ireland and beyond supporting you here
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 11:12:45 PM
Thanks Gold.

Can I just ask, does anyone have any opinion on using sleeping tablets to get off to sleep?  I seem to find it hardest when I'm lying in bed at night. Mind racing and dark thoughts. If I thought they would knock me out I think I'd go for it. Afraid of any side effects though.  Getting out of bed in the morning is tough enough as it is.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BarryBreensBandage on May 23, 2016, 11:13:59 PM
Good man RHM, did you watch the game yesterday?

A mate called me yesterday morning and asked me to go to the game with him.

I actually got paranoid thinking he had somehow read this thread and realised it was me.  I went anyway, and enjoyed it. Thanks to the prompts on here.

It lifted the siege for a few hours.

It's really strange.  From the outside, I have no worries. Great wife, fantastic children, not stuck for a bob or two. The way I feel has no logic what so ever.

It's actually scary.

If she is a great wife and you have fantastic children, the main reason for that is you, as you make up so much of their lives; Immerse yourself in them - I would agree with the running part, but spending time with them, for me, is just as fulfilling. (I don't find life easy btw).
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 11:21:17 PM
It's hard to describe BBB.  Even if I recognise my strong points (if that's the right phrase), it doesn't make me feel any better.

As I said before, there is no logic to how I feel. I just feel shit a lot of the time, and really really shit sometimes.

I have conversations with myself where I tell myself of all the good things I've done / have etc. It doesn't matter. The cloud is still there. It won't go away. It doesn't care what I've done or what I have, it just stays there.

I appreciate that this is hard for anyone to understand who hasn't experienced it. I'm convinced that this can happen to anyone at any time. It's just shit that it's happening to me.

f**k it, I feel pathetic spilling on an anonymous forum.  It's actually the first time I've tried to put my thoughts on paper so to speak. Doesn't make good reading.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: macdanger2 on May 23, 2016, 11:22:28 PM
Thanks Gold.

Can I just ask, does anyone have any opinion on using sleeping tablets to get off to sleep?  I seem to find it hardest when I'm lying in bed at night. Mind racing and dark thoughts. If I thought they would knock me out I think I'd go for it. Afraid of any side effects though.  Getting out of bed in the morning is tough enough as it is.

Have taken them a couple of times but I'd say you wouldn't want to be on them the whole time without talking to a doctor. We had a talk at work there recently about trying to improve your sleeping and they spoke about something called "mindfulness", it's basically a way of clearing your mind, have tried it a couple of times and it's not bad. Worth googling anyway.

A friend of mine suffered badly from depression a few years back and went to his GP who referred him on to someone, he said it was the best thing he ever did. Probably a hard thing to do but worth considering RHM
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 11:24:15 PM
Yeah, I'm trying to grow a set and go to the doc. It's at that stage now. Thanks.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: macdanger2 on May 23, 2016, 11:29:57 PM
Have a go at some of this, it's basically just breathing and thinking but you might find it useful

Http://www.nosleeplessnights.com/mindfulness-exercises/


Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 11:31:22 PM
Thanks for taking the time to find that. I'll give it a go tonight.

Just to say, I really do appreciate strangers taking time to post here. It's kind of humbling. Thank you.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BarryBreensBandage on May 23, 2016, 11:44:24 PM
It's hard to describe BBB.  Even if I recognise my strong points (if that's the right phrase), it doesn't make me feel any better.

As I said before, there is no logic to how I feel. I just feel shit a lot of the time, and really really shit sometimes.

I have conversations with myself where I tell myself of all the good things I've done / have etc. It doesn't matter. The cloud is still there. It won't go away. It doesn't care what I've done or what I have, it just stays there.

I appreciate that this is hard for anyone to understand who hasn't experienced it. I'm convinced that this can happen to anyone at any time. It's just shit that it's happening to me.

f**k it, I feel pathetic spilling on an anonymous forum.  It's actually the first time I've tried to put my thoughts on paper so to speak. Doesn't make good reading.

It is not pathetic - it is you trying to make sense of why you have these feelings and you are expressing them - for me it doesn't matter if it is here, or to a friend or work colleague - the next week, day, hour, minute, just to get through it.
I was listening to Talksport and the cricketer Graham Fowler was on promoting his autobiography. He didn't know he had depression - it was when his wife said to him he needed help. He thought he was fine and asked why. She said "because you haven't talked to anyone in a month".
So even if you think it is nonsense in many ways, keep talking, or typing - as one of the previous posts says, there are a lot of people on this board, your own, who are willing and wishing you well.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on May 23, 2016, 11:47:15 PM
My wife more or less said the same to me.  Said I've stopped talking to people, really talking instead of just small chat.

Thanks BBB and thanks all.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rois on May 24, 2016, 12:05:20 AM
This is definitely the right place to come to get opinions (!), advice or thoughts on the most random of things because we're all very similar with largely similar backgrounds and therefore I think the vast majority of us will either know how you feel or know someone close to us who probably does.
I know a friend of mine has suffered since school and has had hard times since, despite the good job, supportive husband and 2 kids. So you're absolutely not alone.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BarryBreensBandage on May 24, 2016, 12:09:27 AM
Oiche Mhaith, Tog go Bog e.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: whiskeysteve on May 24, 2016, 12:55:58 AM
Red Hand Man, really have to commend you on being brave enough to open up and share your pain on here. Depression is a disease and not a sign of weakness, you should treat it like any other disease and go see the doctor about it. Even the act of sitting down and opening up to someone will start to lift this gloom off your shoulders. Very likely you would be speaking to a GP who will have have had dozens of people through the door with the same dark thoughts and misery. They will know exactly how to deal with it and will listen to you very patiently. Pick up the phone tomorrow morning and book an appointment, and keep the momentum going from opening up on this forum.

I would echo other posters on being active. If you think about, id say your depression would likely be bad at times when you are on your own or inactive, and at its worst when you are both.

Be not solitary, be not idle. Take on a new challenge, enter a 10k or half marathon, take on an evening class, take on a new sport or pastime by joining a local club, there are lots of ways to challenge yourself into activity and social interaction.

First step though, book in to see the doctor and know that everyone on here would back you 100% on opening up about how you feel. You're not on your own and people will support you in getting better, seek help and you will get it  :)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on May 24, 2016, 04:32:13 AM
Thanks. Not so good when that game doesn't even raise the dander in me.

Well you know what?

Go to bed now and get up tomorrow and if you werent intending to go tomorrow make a point of going to it, if it is in anyway possible. There is nothing like the first round of the championship, the smell of burgers and onions, fags, the crowds, the tension, the roar, the scores, the banter, the radio on the way home. Deadly stuff!

I dont know what way you are spiritually but Im at home with my daughter at the minute on the other side of the planet. And we will say a prayer for ye.
They do smell nice, but I don't think you're supposed to call them that anymore.

What? Even at home? Im in California but persist regardless

Imagine the looks you get when your response to a group of fellas smoking e-cigarettes in a pub is

"I hate them c***ts with their hipster fags"
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on May 24, 2016, 04:44:47 AM
Dont worry RHM its all annoymous anyway so its the perfect place if your worried about going public and theres nothing to be ashamed about anyway it can happen the best of us.

I know two girls who are the brightest, most out going and friendly people you could ever meet. Had great lives (from the outside at least) but they both had bother with the blues. Sometimes there is no apparent rhyme nor reason it can just strike you down

But the best thing you can do (i think) is talk to people about anything we are social beings/connected souls so we have to bounce our minds off each other. And sometimes that means with your peers which isnt always as easy as it sounds with a young family and job etc. So sometimes this is as good as place as any if you have nothing else.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on May 24, 2016, 05:30:16 AM
Thanks Gold.

Can I just ask, does anyone have any opinion on using sleeping tablets to get off to sleep?  I seem to find it hardest when I'm lying in bed at night. Mind racing and dark thoughts. If I thought they would knock me out I think I'd go for it. Afraid of any side effects though.  Getting out of bed in the morning is tough enough as it is.
They help you get the rest you need when your brain is whirring and your sleep doesn't come like it does usually . You won't need them when you feel yourself again. It will take time to get back to yourself but you will do it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: DrinkingHarp on May 26, 2016, 04:58:49 AM
Thanks Gold.

Can I just ask, does anyone have any opinion on using sleeping tablets to get off to sleep?  I seem to find it hardest when I'm lying in bed at night. Mind racing and dark thoughts. If I thought they would knock me out I think I'd go for it. Afraid of any side effects though.  Getting out of bed in the morning is tough enough as it is.

Went through this myself a couple of times, anywhere from a few weeks to almost a year. DO NOT self medicate or self diagnose yoursel, go see your primary doctor. It took me awhile to figure that out. Regarding the sleeping, I found for myself reading at night in bed distracts me from the mind going like a hamster wheel on turbo as my mind would be more active when just lying there in bed. I read till I can't keep my eyes open and just drift off.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: bennydorano on September 05, 2016, 08:01:50 PM
I was out cycling this evening and saw a flagpole in a normal looking house on the side of the road, on the flagpole was a smiley face flag. Part of a mental health campaign or old skool stalwart??
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: armaghniac on September 05, 2016, 08:42:26 PM
I was out cycling this evening and saw a flagpole in a normal looking house on the side of the road, on the flagpole was a smiley face flag. Part of a mental health campaign or old skool stalwart??

That was coat of arms of the Smiley family.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on September 25, 2016, 07:53:56 PM
**Post Removed**
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: blewuporstuffed on September 25, 2016, 08:32:21 PM
That sounds like a horrendous time you have been going through, I hope things have picked up for you since that post  :-\
Hang in there
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on September 25, 2016, 09:24:34 PM
Best wishes Fionntamhnach and fair play on such an honest and powerful post. I could relate to a lot of it(and I can genuinely say that you've often struck me as a brilliant poster on here). I've been through periods like that in my life too, the last couple of years actually but I recently started working with people who have intellectual disabilities and I love it. That, my family and running like a lunatic every chance I get, help me to keep it fairly positive. It's still a battle everyday, but it's worth hanging in there to see what happens I think. If there is ever any way I can help, PM me.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on September 25, 2016, 09:37:14 PM
Jesus Fintona I had no idea you where going through that, always enjoyed your posts a lot. Hope things pickup for you, use all the support you can and focus your energies on the good things in life... it will not always be bad or dark
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyHarp on September 25, 2016, 09:43:14 PM
Very powerful stuff Fionntamhnach. You are one of a small number of posters who I'd actually stop to read and enjoy your contributions to the board. Keeping fighting fella.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Hardy on September 25, 2016, 10:06:47 PM
Very powerful stuff Fionntamhnach. You are one of a small number of posters who I'd actually stop to read and enjoy your contributions to the board. Keeping fighting fella.

Same here. Apart from his contributions on general subjects, Fionntamhnach seems to have encyclopaedic knowledge of TV systems, transmission, reception, etc. that he has always shared willingly here. I have great time for people who know stuff, whatever it's about.The world doesn't work without them.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ONeill on September 25, 2016, 10:29:54 PM
Keep er lit Fionntamhnach. Takes balls to write that.

One thing though, why on earth did ye pick the moniker bummer.....of all usernames.....?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on September 25, 2016, 11:13:34 PM
TBH when I read the post I wasn't sure, as those above seem to be, that it was about yourself. I thought you may have been quoting someone else. Mainly because I always saw you as a confident, educated, articulate and interesting poster. I didn't see that poster as doubting himself in the way you described.

But then the only thing I have learned about these type of issues, is that they are rarely logical and easily understood.

Fair play to you for being so open and honest and the hopefully some good will come your way because of it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Hereiam on September 25, 2016, 11:13:57 PM
Fionnta thats a very honest post lad. As said by others here your posts were the one i would have stopped to read. Hope you overcome this and life gets better for you.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on September 25, 2016, 11:17:00 PM
TBH when I read the post I wasn't sure, as those above seem to be, that it was about yourself. I thought you may have been quoting someone else. Mainly because I always saw you as a confident, educated, articulate and interesting poster. I didn't see that poster as doubting himself in the way you described.

But then the only thing I have learned about these type of issues, is that they are rarely logical and easily understood.

Fair play to you for being so open and honest and the hopefully some good will come your way because of it.
+1
I also thought he was posting someone else's post.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on September 25, 2016, 11:28:41 PM
Aye like the other lads have said it takes balls to write that. You seem like a great lad (for a Tyronie) so hope you navigate your way around this.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on September 30, 2016, 11:26:23 PM
Jason McAteer on the Late Late just now talking about his own battle with depression in the past.

It's strangely, for fellow sufferers like myself, reassuring to see people with "profiles" speak candidly like Jason did tonight.

I'm in the midst of the worst onslaught that I've had in months. It's tough going.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Onthe40 on October 01, 2016, 12:40:48 AM
Wouldn't have been a while big fan of Mcateers but he spoke eloquently tonight I thought
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: macdanger2 on October 01, 2016, 01:14:25 AM
Yeah, was listening to McAteer earlier, interesting to hear his story.

Powerful post earlier fionntamach, not easy stuff to go through and to continue to go through. I wouldn't have much experience of that kind of stuff so I won't give you any advice on it but hope you're dealing with it ok.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 01, 2016, 01:14:56 AM
Jason McAteer on the Late Late just now talking about his own battle with depression in the past.

It's strangely, for fellow sufferers like myself, reassuring to see people with "profiles" speak candidly like Jason did tonight.

I'm in the midst of the worst onslaught that I've had in months. It's tough going.

I want to say something that might be of use to you, but I am hopelessly out of my depth on this topic. All I can say is the very best of luck to you in dealing with it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: hectorsheroes on October 01, 2016, 01:44:54 AM
McAteer spoke very well - I'm a manager involved with teams and a community worker and I can see every day the impact of depression. No point me trying to advise you myself fella but what I will say is this - your a GAA man you love the smell and craic of the changing room -the obvious nerves and shoulder to the opponent but more than anything your picked your there - you'll not win them all but you know what none of us do but lad if you need a chat - chat - chat like a muthafucka! -  all us boys are spectacularly the same regardless of position or influence so fella enjoy the experience -we'll celebrate the best volunteers tomorrow irrespectively! Mayo in extra time
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jell 0 Biafra on October 01, 2016, 04:12:49 AM
Jason McAteer on the Late Late just now talking about his own battle with depression in the past.

It's strangely, for fellow sufferers like myself, reassuring to see people with "profiles" speak candidly like Jason did tonight.

I'm in the midst of the worst onslaught that I've had in months. It's tough going.

I hope you're getting help for yourself.  Don't try to tough it out on your own.  I wish you the best with it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on October 01, 2016, 09:22:10 AM
Jason McAteer on the Late Late just now talking about his own battle with depression in the past.

It's strangely, for fellow sufferers like myself, reassuring to see people with "profiles" speak candidly like Jason did tonight.

I'm in the midst of the worst onslaught that I've had in months. It's tough going.
Best of luck RH man. I always advise taking exercise and avoiding alcohol/drugs(including coffee and cigarettes). Hang in there, keep fighting and you'll find a way to overcome it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Lar Naparka on October 01, 2016, 10:43:44 AM
Jason McAteer on the Late Late just now talking about his own battle with depression in the past.

It's strangely, for fellow sufferers like myself, reassuring to see people with "profiles" speak candidly like Jason did tonight.

I'm in the midst of the worst onslaught that I've had in months. It's tough going.
Hang on, you have a medical, not a mental, condition.
I am talking from personal experience here; I knew I was going to suffer depression and I knew that eventually I would pull through as long as I didnít suffer a total breakdown and committed suicide or self-harm of some sort.
I think muppet posted a link to my post on this thread but I canít find it. Maybe he will oblige again as I donít have time to re-write what I said there.
However, Iím posting this to assure you and other depressives that your condition was brought on by physical factors.  The thermostat we each have in our brains to regulate hormonal levels malfunctions for some reason and depression ensues.
Physical trauma in almost all cases can be cured or at least managed; it takes time for the brain to sort things out but it will and donít feel your macho persona is somehow damaged  by confiding in your doctor or by taking prescribed anti-depressants.
I am quite happy to discuss my experience in the hope that it brings hope to others. I donít give a damn about what ill-informed individuals may say behind my back.
I find that thatís a major issues with depressives; they feel ashamed in some way that their problem will be construed by some as a sign of mental weakness or moral deficiency of some sort.
f**k the begrudgers! 
Increasingly, people in general are beginning to gain an understanding of depression and how it affects suffers. Everyone who opens up helps to dispel the ignorance and small-mindedness that afflicted the public heretofore.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on October 01, 2016, 11:03:24 AM
Jason McAteer on the Late Late just now talking about his own battle with depression in the past.

It's strangely, for fellow sufferers like myself, reassuring to see people with "profiles" speak candidly like Jason did tonight.

I'm in the midst of the worst onslaught that I've had in months. It's tough going.
Best of luck RH man. I always advise taking exercise and avoiding alcohol/drugs(including coffee and cigarettes). Hang in there, keep fighting and you'll find a way to overcome it.
Exercise is excellent. It helps me big time. The wife can often see something in me where she knows I'm starting to get down and will say something like I think you need to go for a run. I'm not saying I get really depressed like some on here but I do get periods where I know I'm just not myself and find life a bit of a struggle for want for a better word.

I agree with Red Hand man also about it being a comfort when you see a famous/high profile person speak of going through a similar difficultly as yourself. I know when my son was born it really helped to find out a few high profile sportspeople have kids with the same condition. It sort of makes you feel normal if that makes sense like you're not the only one.  I can totally understand where Red Hand Man is coming from when he says that.

Best of luck Red Hand Man, I hope things get better for you soon.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 01, 2016, 11:08:55 AM
There you go Lar.

Fair play to this young man for having the courage to speak publicly about his experiences. Hopefully this will inspire others who are suffering in silence to seek help.
I sincerely his story helps others to cope with depression and to understand that itís a medical problem and not is not brought on by a mental deficiency of any sort.
I also suffered from chronic depression and I know I was extremely lucky to pull through.
In my case, I knew in advance that I was going to get very depressed and was briefed by my GP that a bout would be the inevitable result of the brain aneurysm I had suffered the previous year and the savage bouts of epilepsy that followed on from it.
He couldnít understand how my brain had managed to cope with all the traumas to date I had gone through but warned me that it would, sooner or later, close down all but the core functions in order to a repair itself.
Well, he was right and when depression hit, I went through four months of absolute hell.
Only for the fact that I knew it was going to happen, I would not have survived.
Nobody around me had an idea of what I was going through and endless exhortations to pull myself together only made matters worse.
I lost three stones weight in the space of four months and felt I had nowhere to go and nobody to turn to. Life just didnít seem worth living anymore and I had to battle with suicidal feelings every hour of the day.
I snapped out of it fairly dramatically.
I had another epileptic seizure, at a time when I was feeling very low and once more I was knocked out for five or six hours.
I have been incredibly lucky one again to have been in company at the time it happened and when I woke up, I found I was in Beaumont A&E.
I never felt better!
Although I was black and blue all over from the restraints that were holding me down and faint with hunger and thirst, I knew the black mood had lifted.
I was told that the electrical brainstorm had reset the levels of melatonin and serotonin- somewhat similar to the electroshock therapy used to treat brain disorders. If the balance between those hormones is maladjusted, depression or elation is the likely end result.
Iíve had no problem with epilepsy or depression ever since.
Reading Alanís story, it struck me once again that people in general havenít a clue of whatís going on in a suffererís brain while in the grip of depression.
Well-meaning but fatuous attempts to buck a sufferer up have the opposite effect.
The condition is a medical one and something like a blow on the head or the stress of surgery can bring it on. Anybody can be affected.
I hope Alan makes a full recovery and is able to cope with the reservations of those who know of his illness. I am a much older man and I couldnít give a damn about what anybody has to say about my time in the horrors.
I know younger people find it harder to cope with snide remarks and double talk and unfortunately, many donít pull through.
I hope his story serves as an inspiration for others with this condition.

Here is a link to that thread: http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=23272.0 (http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=23272.0)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on October 01, 2016, 01:35:10 PM
I seem to have no coping mechanism for when things go wrong.

I can trundle along for weeks feeling as though I'm approaching "normality".  Then something adverse happens, and it completely floors me.

When most people get out of work on a Friday evening, they are walking with a spring in their step.

I spent 90 minutes driving aimlessly, before finding myself at the side of some deep water.  In my heart of hearts I knew I wasn't going to kill myself there and then.  However, the fact that I sat there and thought about it, actually consciously mulled over the affect it would have in people, scared the life out of me.

Someone mentioned to abstain from alcohol.  Without a bottle of red wine last night I wouldn't have slept.

Truth be told I'm in a f**king mess.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 01, 2016, 01:43:26 PM
Dunno if it counts for anything, but you wold have the goodwill of everyone here. If you haven't already done it you should read the thread from the start. Some great honest posts to go along with your own.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on October 01, 2016, 01:44:26 PM
Thank you muppet, and everyone else.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 01, 2016, 02:19:13 PM
I seem to have no coping mechanism for when things go wrong.

I can trundle along for weeks feeling as though I'm approaching "normality".  Then something adverse happens, and it completely floors me.

When most people get out of work on a Friday evening, they are walking with a spring in their step.

I spent 90 minutes driving aimlessly, before finding myself at the side of some deep water.  In my heart of hearts I knew I wasn't going to kill myself there and then.  However, the fact that I sat there and thought about it, actually consciously mulled over the affect it would have in people, scared the life out of me.

Someone mentioned to abstain from alcohol.  Without a bottle of red wine last night I wouldn't have slept.

Truth be told I'm in a f**king mess.
The depression will get better.
Could you maybe talk with a professional when you are feeling better about what stuff needs to be worked on so you don't fall back into the situation ?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Main Street on October 01, 2016, 08:44:59 PM
Thanks for that repost Fionn of your experiences.

One part of what's written is about a commonly held belief,  about "being too cowardly to try it (suicide) with any expectation of success."
Of course, cowardice or bravery has nothing to do with serious  attempts  or non attempts to do the deed, but I suppose what matters is the perception that it has.
On the other hand there are the rebukes by the misinformed that suicide is the coward's way out.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on October 01, 2016, 10:19:10 PM
The greatest dichotomy in this world in my opinion is the thought process of a suicidal person.

To kill yourself is running away. Cowardly some might say.

But to end it takes balls, no?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Mickey Linden on October 01, 2016, 10:35:34 PM
Red hand, please talk to someone. Posting on here is a positive step. I've no clue about anything really and just flicked on this page by acciden but I felt
The need to say something. Hope it all gets better for u soon. Seems to be seriously good advice on previous pages here.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on October 01, 2016, 10:37:53 PM
The greatest dichotomy in this world in my opinion is the thought process of a suicidal person.

To kill yourself is running away. Cowardly some might say.

But to end it takes balls, no?

I don't like language like 'cowardly' and 'balls' etc in this conversation.

All I know is that if I ever did 'end it' in the past, when I couldn't figure things out, I would have missed the best days of my life, most of which I never saw coming.


Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jell 0 Biafra on October 02, 2016, 02:57:06 AM
The greatest dichotomy in this world in my opinion is the thought process of a suicidal person.

To kill yourself is running away. Cowardly some might say.

But to end it takes balls, no?

Get help.  As soon as you can. 

I'm speaking from my own personal experience, and that of family members, when I say it helps. If you're having as hard a time as you describe,  little else other than professional help will help you through. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Itchy on October 02, 2016, 10:12:53 AM
The greatest dichotomy in this world in my opinion is the thought process of a suicidal person.

To kill yourself is running away. Cowardly some might say.

But to end it takes balls, no?

I know nothing about being depressed or whether someone who commits suicide is brave or is a coward. I do however know what's left behind when someone does commit suicide. More than one life is ended in many cases. Don't look for answers here, get professional help now.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 02, 2016, 04:25:40 PM
Red Hand Man, I'd advise in the short term if you wish to speak to someone to call either Lifeline or the Samaritans, the former is a freefone number from either a landline or a mobile - 0800 808 8000 and they can help you connect to your local Community Mental Health Team as well as your local GP whom should be contacted as well on their own. The latter can be called on their Omagh branch (others are available) on 028 82 244944.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnneycool on October 03, 2016, 12:21:52 PM
Thank you muppet, and everyone else.

I know SFA about depression other than my Da having the odd bout of it, but what I do know is that you're mentally much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
I know I couldn't open up like you have but do seek professional help as you and your inner circle of friends and family have too much to lose otherwise.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Denn Forever on October 03, 2016, 12:51:14 PM
fight the good fight RHM.

http://www.mindful.org/how-to-settle-the-mind/
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Walter Cronc on October 03, 2016, 01:01:40 PM
Lost a good friend to suicide whilst at university. Absolutely floored myself and the other flatmates. Took me years to get over it really. The impact on the immediate and wider family circle is huge Red Hand Man. Have a word with someone fella, you are not alone!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 03, 2016, 08:01:37 PM
That sounds like a horrendous time you have been going through, I hope things have picked up for you since that post  :-\
Hang in there
The answer to that is both yes and no I'm afraid.

Best wishes Fionntamhnach and fair play on such an honest and powerful post. I could relate to a lot of it(and I can genuinely say that you've often struck me as a brilliant poster on here). I've been through periods like that in my life too, the last couple of years actually but I recently started working with people who have intellectual disabilities and I love it. That, my family and running like a lunatic every chance I get, help me to keep it fairly positive. It's still a battle everyday, but it's worth hanging in there to see what happens I think. If there is ever any way I can help, PM me.
I'm due to start a voluntary work position very soon, just awaiting a police clearance because of the nature of the work.
Exercise is beneficial in keeping ones mind positive, but the motivation can be difficult to bring oneself on for especially as one gets older.

Keep er lit Fionntamhnach. Takes balls to write that.

One thing though, why on earth did ye pick the moniker bummer.....of all usernames.....?
It was the best of a bunch of usernames offered at the time when I asked for suggestions. Second best suggestion was "tits on a bulldog"!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 03, 2016, 08:25:47 PM
Very powerful stuff Fionntamhnach. You are one of a small number of posters who I'd actually stop to read and enjoy your contributions to the board. Keeping fighting fella.

Same here. Apart from his contributions on general subjects, Fionntamhnach seems to have encyclopaedic knowledge of TV systems, transmission, reception, etc. that he has always shared willingly here. I have great time for people who know stuff, whatever it's about.The world doesn't work without them.

TBH when I read the post I wasn't sure, as those above seem to be, that it was about yourself. I thought you may have been quoting someone else. Mainly because I always saw you as a confident, educated, articulate and interesting poster. I didn't see that poster as doubting himself in the way you described. But then the only thing I have learned about these type of issues, is that they are rarely logical and easily understood.Fair play to you for being so open and honest and the hopefully some good will come your way because of it.]


I think it's the Aspie in me that comes across the knowledge I've built up over things like broadcast transmission systems (which is currently being used to hand F**ron's arse on a plate in the "Northern Catholics" thread ) and also a sense of formality when I write & talk. Both classic traits. However I'm not what you could call confident and interesting, in the latter case I'm probably one of the most boring people about unless you really hit a sweet spot on my interests, while in the former it explains why I have trouble with friendships and relationships. As for educated, I try to learn as an ongoing process but I have poor concentration spans which makes it difficult to study much in depth unless I can completely immerse myself into it and not let anything else distract me. Unfortunately until I can find a way to handle this more easily there's little point in me going back into third-level education. Had I been diagnosed with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder when I was younger (which had a very high bar set then in the 80's and 90's) I probably would have been regarded as a special needs case.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 03, 2016, 08:29:07 PM

Jesus Fintona I had no idea you where going through that, always enjoyed your posts a lot. Hope things pickup for you, use all the support you can and focus your energies on the good things in life... it will not always be bad or dark


Very powerful stuff Fionntamhnach. You are one of a small number of posters who I'd actually stop to read and enjoy your contributions to the board. Keeping fighting fella.


Fionnta thats a very honest post lad. As said by others here your posts were the one i would have stopped to read. Hope you overcome this and life gets better for you.


Aye like the other lads have said it takes balls to write that. You seem like a great lad (for a Tyronie) so hope you navigate your way around this.
Appreciate the sentiments lads, thank you. However I'm quite resigned to having to face my life in coping with depression, anxiety & autism rather than knowing that some day it'll all go away. The glass will almost certainly be half empty for me.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 03, 2016, 08:38:28 PM
I seem to have no coping mechanism for when things go wrong.

I can trundle along for weeks feeling as though I'm approaching "normality".  Then something adverse happens, and it completely floors me.
RHM, I've been in the same boat manys of times - for me it's about looking for an element of control in my life when things that can be seemingly innocuous cause triggers of anxiety and that the days, weeks and months it takes to build ones' self-confidence up can be just knocked down and flattened like a wrecking ball hitting a brick wall, and you have to start all over again. I (you?) feel vulnerable because I know that wall is delicately held together.


Someone mentioned to abstain from alcohol.  Without a bottle of red wine last night I wouldn't have slept.

Truth be told I'm in a f**king mess.
I don't drink myself, but I do know that alcohol isn't a long term solution to mental health problems. Trying to find a positive distraction is the key, but it can be easier said than done. It can be worthwhile talking to Lifeline or the Samaritans that I mentioned a few posts ago.

Thanks for that repost Fionn of your experiences.

One part of what's written is about a commonly held belief,  about "being too cowardly to try it (suicide) with any expectation of success."
Of course, cowardice or bravery has nothing to do with serious  attempts  or non attempts to do the deed, but I suppose what matters is the perception that it has.
On the other hand there are the rebukes by the misinformed that suicide is the coward's way out.
The way I see it, many people are driven to the brink of suicide because they perceive themselves to have failed in some way.
To think of trying to commit suicide is an idea of wanting whatever it is that makes you believe to be a failure to end & go away. The majority of people however pull back at this brink, one reason is the possibility of the failure of the attempt itself - if someone can't do something/anything right in their life, what makes them think that committing a suicide attempt has a certain outcome of being successful? Not to mention that if it doesn't succeed (and doesn't result in permanent damage like being brain damaged) you run the mental cycle of deeming oneself even more useless if you can't kill yourself properly, as well as some people whom would perceive your unsuccessful suicide attempt to be more of a plea for attention. Some attempts have better chances of succeeding than others.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fionntamhnach on October 03, 2016, 08:51:25 PM
To finish this multipost, I suppose it's worth aligning my "pipe bomb" post on page 18 with a post I wrote nearly three years ago about struggles with depression - the diagnosis I didn't want to mention at the time was Aspergers Syndrome as I've admitted later.


http://gaaboard.com/board/index.php?topic=23910.msg1294793#msg1294793
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 04, 2016, 06:53:13 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL7-CKirWZE
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS0hSP-3U14
If there's something inside that you wanna say
Say it alright it'll be okay
I will be your light, I will be your light

Depression is a bitch but no pain is forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2LYuRzF-c8
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 04, 2016, 11:35:58 AM
Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of depression. Reality is switched off and something else takes its place.  I don't think suicide is rational . Depression tells people it is.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 05, 2016, 08:01:05 AM
This is more than a football song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYSQoNs0_9c
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: blewuporstuffed on October 10, 2016, 12:02:08 PM
World Mental Health Day today
#Glitch

an interesting article here on the different forms depression can take

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/world-mental-health-day-what-are-dangers-high-functioning-depression-anxiety-1585154 (http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/world-mental-health-day-what-are-dangers-high-functioning-depression-anxiety-1585154)

look out for each other folks
Talk to someone

www.samaritans.org (http://www.samaritans.org)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on November 27, 2016, 08:15:53 PM
"It felt like my mind had given up on me"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO-abUhL_Ws
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on November 27, 2016, 11:27:09 PM
That's what it feels like. Good luck to this girl. Great performance.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: stew on November 28, 2016, 06:53:58 AM
All the best red hand man, I am pulling for you sir.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on November 28, 2016, 07:22:22 AM
That's what it feels like. Good luck to this girl. Great performance.

Singer-songwriter and guitarist who competed on season 9 of America's Got Talent, finishing as a quarter-finalist. She is wildly popular on Vine where she has over 2.3 million followers. She was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when she was 14 years old but overcame her afflictions to perform on America's Got Talent. She is also popular on YouTube surpassing 300,000 YouTube subscribers in February 2016. She is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina and has two brothers and one half-sister. She began dating fellow web video star James Francis in 2014. She and Tyler Ward sang together in an acoustic cover of the Ed Sheeran song "Photograph."

Source: https://www.everipedia.com/anna-clendening
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on November 28, 2016, 01:10:53 PM
All the best red hand man, I am pulling for you sir.

Thanks Stew. I appreciate that. Thankfully I'm doing ok this last couple of weeks, having been through a horrendous time before that. Thanks for your post. 👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on November 28, 2016, 04:50:57 PM
This might make someone smile:


Title: Re: Depression
Post by: illdecide on December 16, 2016, 12:24:58 PM
Hi guys...hope some of you can give me some advice.

I have a friend who i think is very depressed, he's not taking calls or texts atm and is off work. He told me last week he was not sleeping at night and had got pills from Doctor to help him sleep. My other bud called around to see him (after me telling him the craic) but he didn't answer the door (my bud said he seen the light going off as he knocked on the door). My question is how do i approach this...? (he has had his fair share of bad luck and incidents over the last year or two)

Do i call?
Do i approach someone in his family?
Should i leave him alone and give him his space?

I know nothing about depression only from reading a few posts on here so please forgive my ignorance on the subject but i'd appreciate your help and advice so i know how to handle this.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on December 16, 2016, 12:34:23 PM
Hi guys...hope some of you can give me some advice.

I have a friend who i think is very depressed, he's not taking calls or texts atm and is off work. He told me last week he was not sleeping at night and had got pills from Doctor to help him sleep. My other bud called around to see him (after me telling him the craic) but he didn't answer the door (my bud said he seen the light going off as he knocked on the door). My question is how do i approach this...? (he has had his fair share of bad luck and incidents over the last year or two)

Do i call?
Do i approach someone in his family?
Should i leave him alone and give him his space?

I know nothing about depression only from reading a few posts on here so please forgive my ignorance on the subject but i'd appreciate your help and advice so i know how to handle this.

That is a tough one.

Best of luck with it, hopefully it works out ok.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on December 16, 2016, 12:47:31 PM
Hi guys...hope some of you can give me some advice.

I have a friend who i think is very depressed, he's not taking calls or texts atm and is off work. He told me last week he was not sleeping at night and had got pills from Doctor to help him sleep. My other bud called around to see him (after me telling him the craic) but he didn't answer the door (my bud said he seen the light going off as he knocked on the door). My question is how do i approach this...? (he has had his fair share of bad luck and incidents over the last year or two)

Do i call?
Do i approach someone in his family?
Should i leave him alone and give him his space?

I know nothing about depression only from reading a few posts on here so please forgive my ignorance on the subject but i'd appreciate your help and advice so i know how to handle this.
Ask the family
He might not want to see people
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: AZOffaly on December 16, 2016, 12:47:42 PM
I'd ring one of the Depression helplines and ask them. Not being smart, but they are the best people to advise friends and family on situations like this.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Red Hand Man on December 16, 2016, 04:28:20 PM
I've sent you a PM. 👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: illdecide on December 16, 2016, 08:48:00 PM
I've sent you a PM. 👍

Good man RHM...thanks.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on December 21, 2016, 07:45:36 PM
https://twitter.com/ClaireByrneLive/status/803387339112321024
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: J70 on December 21, 2016, 07:49:09 PM
Hi guys...hope some of you can give me some advice.

I have a friend who i think is very depressed, he's not taking calls or texts atm and is off work. He told me last week he was not sleeping at night and had got pills from Doctor to help him sleep. My other bud called around to see him (after me telling him the craic) but he didn't answer the door (my bud said he seen the light going off as he knocked on the door). My question is how do i approach this...? (he has had his fair share of bad luck and incidents over the last year or two)

Do i call?
Do i approach someone in his family?
Should i leave him alone and give him his space?

I know nothing about depression only from reading a few posts on here so please forgive my ignorance on the subject but i'd appreciate your help and advice so i know how to handle this.

I would make sure the family knows your concerns at least.

Not sure there's much you could do beyond that, especially if he won't respond to your calls or texts and won't answer the door.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: illdecide on December 22, 2016, 08:24:18 AM
Well the i tried calling last night but he wasn't in, I have been talking with him a few times since last week and the fact that he's admitting he's depressed is a good start. He is getting help but the lack of sleep is really holding him back but hopefully things will sort themselves out. I couldn't believe when he told me the alcohol he was taking at night when alone in his house, assuming for comfort and to try and get him to sleep. He has stopped his drinking and i think if he can get his sleep sorted he can slowly get his head in a good place...

Thanks for all your concerns and help.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: stew on December 23, 2016, 12:43:03 AM
This might make someone smile:




Made me smile that. Thanks Muppet.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: muppet on December 23, 2016, 10:38:11 AM
This might make someone smile:




Made me smile that. Thanks Muppet.

Great.

Obviously I am not included in the last line.  ;D
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Banter Panther on April 16, 2017, 11:34:03 PM
Lads I continue to take Prozac daily, but I'm starting to wonder if the stress I put myself under at work is overriding my medication. Haven't felt 100% at times in the last couple of months.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: From the Bunker on April 16, 2017, 11:38:05 PM
Lads I continue to take Prozac daily, but I'm starting to wonder if the stress I put myself under at work is overriding my medication. Haven't felt 100% at times in the last couple of months.

What do you work at? (No need for detail)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jell 0 Biafra on April 16, 2017, 11:46:51 PM
Lads I continue to take Prozac daily, but I'm starting to wonder if the stress I put myself under at work is overriding my medication. Haven't felt 100% at times in the last couple of months.

Talk to your doctor.  If your situation isn't one that responds to non-medical options (meditation, yoga, etc...), then upping the dosage or switching to a different medication might be an option.  Different anti-depressants work for different people.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Fiodoir Ard Mhacha on June 27, 2017, 09:26:34 PM
Danish academic recommends 'A dose of negativity' :

Professor Svend Brinkmann's anti-self-help guide promises liberation through a dose of refreshing negativity based on Roman Stoic thought.

He argues for a return to civic virtues, duties and ethical obligations.

"Roman Stoics were the self-help authors of their day ... it's more important to be a decent human being than to be yourself all the time, to fulfil your obligations," he said.

"We need a language with which to talk about those aspects of life and I don't think the whole self-improvement/self-optimisation/self-development language is adequate."

Here are his seven tips for moving forward:

1. Cut out the navel gazing

2. Focus on the negative in your life

3. Learn to say "no"

4. Suppress your feelings

5. Sack your coach

6. Read a novel (not a self-help book or inspiring biography)

7. Dwell on the past
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on November 10, 2017, 10:34:13 PM
Bump.

Daylight savings can take its toll on people. I seem to remember hearing about friends lost to suicide and there was a remarkable correlation with the time of year when the clocks change and the evenings are suddenly plunged into darkness.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: under the bar on November 10, 2017, 11:27:50 PM
Bump.

Daylight savings can take its toll on people. I seem to remember hearing about friends lost to suicide and there was a remarkable correlation with the time of year when the clocks change and the evenings are suddenly plunged into darkness.

Hardly surprising in all honesty.  Leaving the office when itís pitch black is depressing at the best of times never mind if youíve got other issues.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: omaghjoe on November 11, 2017, 06:11:55 PM
Been looking into benefits of cold showers for various reasons but I keep seeing them mentioned as a great antidote for depression...

My own experience is that they are great for stress and energy levels and mental resilience which Im guessing these things could assist with depression too.

The theory is that the cold water stimulates all your nerve endings and therefore the brain, basically shocking it into life. Also linked to steady dopamine levels
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Asal Mor on November 11, 2017, 06:35:07 PM
Been looking into benefits of cold showers for various reasons but I keep seeing them mentioned as a great antidote for depression...

My own experience is that they are great for stress and energy levels and mental resilience which Im guessing these things could assist with depression too.

The theory is that the cold water stimulates all your nerve endings and therefore the brain, basically shocking it into life. Also linked to steady dopamine levels
Could be something in it. I know a few people who swear by jumping into the sea in Salthill every morning as a cure. The cold showers could achieve the same effect with less hassle and discomfort.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Denn Forever on November 16, 2017, 11:41:46 AM
After the DUP deal with the Tories, 50 million pound over 5 years was allocated to mental health.  I don't think any of this has been distibuted nearly 6 months after the deal was made.  It's just sitting there and it doesn't require that Stormont is sitting.

http://www.irishnews.com/news/northernirelandnews/2017/10/11/news/mental-health-funding-agreed-in-dup-tory-deal-must-be-released--1158932/

The kicker for me is that 150 million over 5 years is been allocated for the rollout of better Broadband.   :'( :'(
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Never beat the deeler on January 11, 2018, 04:02:19 AM
Just came across this article and thought it would be no harm to bump this thread.

January can be a long month for many at home and important to remember there are plenty of people willing and available to listen.

https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/life-after-death-remembering-galway-s-niall-donohue-1.3312466 (https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/life-after-death-remembering-galway-s-niall-donohue-1.3312466)

One particular passage in the article resonated
Quote
Everyoneís illness is their own, unique to each individualís context and make-up. What they share is a gradual whittling down of the suffererís world, a closing-in of the frame surrounding the picture they see of their life. When they canít or wonít share that picture with those around them, they feel themselves running low on options.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: screenexile on February 15, 2018, 09:14:54 PM
Shit!!!!!

I saw a post on here like 5 minutes ago someone was looking for help and I didn't catch the name and they've now deleted their post. . . please put it back up. If you're anonymous maybe put your work problem on here there's lot's of people from lots of backgrounds who may be able to offer you advice or assistance with your problem.

On feeling the way you are talk to someone. You need to talk to anyone really and if your family and friends aren't an option call the Samaritans and maybe go see your GP to see if they can help.

There's always an option!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Syferus on February 15, 2018, 09:22:34 PM
Shit!!!!!

I saw a post on here like 5 minutes ago someone was looking for help and I didn't catch the name and they've now deleted their post. . . please put it back up. If you're anonymous maybe put your work problem on here there's lot's of people from lots of backgrounds who may be able to offer you advice or assistance with your problem.

On feeling the way you are talk to someone. You need to talk to anyone really and if your family and friends aren't an option call the Samaritans and maybe go see your GP to see if they can help.

There's always an option!

+1
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rois on February 15, 2018, 09:33:38 PM
Some super advice can be found among gaaboarders and Iím sure any regular posters would be more than happy to chat over PM.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: NAG1 on February 16, 2018, 03:32:50 PM
Some super advice can be found among gaaboarders and Iím sure any regular posters would be more than happy to chat over PM.

+1
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: theskull1 on February 16, 2018, 04:21:37 PM
This Joe Rogan podcast is really worth a listen to in regard to understanding the types of things that bring about depression in the society we live in

http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/johann-hari (http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/johann-hari)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Lar Naparka on February 16, 2018, 06:39:31 PM
Some super advice can be found among gaaboarders and Iím sure any regular posters would be more than happy to chat over PM.
I have written before about my experience of depression and I'd be very willing to help anyone I can. I've no problem with anyone sending me a PM.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: tintin25 on February 17, 2018, 10:40:15 AM
Long time lurker on this particular thread.

Have probably had stages of mild depression from time to time, generally brought about by failed relationships and comparing myself against those in my peer group.  I found that reading self-help books has helped my confidence and taught me to 'live in the moment', whilst I usually avoid/unfollow pages on Facebook and the like which would just put you in a bad mood (some of those Belfast Live and Belfast Telegraph articles are just toxic).

Thankfully I'm pretty positive at the moment and I'm now able to identify when I take a turn and how to manage it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rois on February 17, 2018, 01:54:42 PM
Long time lurker on this particular thread.


Thankfully I'm pretty positive at the moment and I'm now able to identify when I take a turn and how to manage it.
It must be a tough enough time when you know it is coming but great that you can tell what to do now.

My colleague at work recently got married to this guy - fascinating story and one where talking to the GP really seemed to help.
http://www.the42.ie/paul-gleghorne-mental-health-hockey-interview-3379361-May2017/ (http://www.the42.ie/paul-gleghorne-mental-health-hockey-interview-3379361-May2017/)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnneycool on February 23, 2018, 09:31:57 AM
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Minder on February 23, 2018, 09:37:17 AM
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.

Jesus thatís desperate JC
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rois on February 23, 2018, 09:56:43 AM
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.
I think he's in my nephew's year at school where my sister teaches.  Absolutely devastating news and I'm sorry for you and your club JC. 
I feel so so so sad that a youngster thinks there's no way out in third year at school. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on February 23, 2018, 10:04:42 AM
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.

Shocking news JC. Not easy for the family, club and wider community.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Dire Ear on February 23, 2018, 10:23:11 AM
That's terrible. RIP young man
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnneycool on February 23, 2018, 10:34:15 AM
Soul destroying news last night as one of our U16 hurlers took his own life, lovely young fella who was never any bother and extremely talented hurler. I know a lot of our younger hurlers looked up to him and he'd always look after the young fellas he was playing with.

Harrowing stuff for his Dad, Mum and younger sister who's in my house all the time as well as the family who are heavily involved in the club in so many ways and as a parent I fail to see if you could ever truly get over such a thing, I know I couldn't.

Hard to know what to say in such circumstances and more so what to do.
I think he's in my nephew's year at school where my sister teaches.  Absolutely devastating news and I'm sorry for you and your club JC. 
I feel so so so sad that a youngster thinks there's no way out in third year at school.

The one and the same Rois, he's a third year in OLSPK.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Gs Man on February 23, 2018, 10:48:01 AM
Terrible altogether.

Thoughts with his family and friends.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: spuds on February 23, 2018, 11:44:04 AM
May he rest in peace.

Thoughts with his family and friends. Tough times ahead for all that were close to him.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on February 23, 2018, 12:07:04 PM
 I recently read an article that more people on Northern Ireland have died from suicide since the ceasefire than ever died during the Troubles. Let that sink in. Suicide and mental health issues are dreadful and the support structure are not there. There are great groups and they provide support but they need greater government support. I actually see it getting worse in the future as young people on particular donít see a bright future and see not other option.

RIP to this young man. I remember the first person I ever knew who committed suicide did so when he was this wee mans age. It broke my heart then as a 15 year old. There is so little to say when it happens and so little comforts the family. The first few days are the whirlwind and with so many about the family kinda get through that on a wave of initial support and emotions.  After that, that is when they really need help. The Tuesday night when they look at his hurl standing in the bedroom and canít fathom why.....that is when they need support.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ThroughTheLaces on March 01, 2018, 10:59:15 PM
Been part of the board now about 12/13 years. Have had a couple of different usernames, but very rarely post anymore. Always keep an eye on it and particularly this thread.

Not actually sure why I'm posting but sharing seems to help, and I suppose it's good to know if others have felt this way and how and if it has improved.

For about the last 4 years I could not honestly say I was happy. I've had the craic and not been down but just never happy. It's as if I'm just waiting for everything in life just to click into place all at once. And I know life's not like that. There are and will be challenges every single day and week, that's how it is.

But for the last 12 months or so I've been increasingly worse. I have my own small business which should run smoothly, but I do my best to hamper that. Any stress or problems from work have 100% been from my own actions. I would stay off drink, or maybe have a couple here and there, but every 6 weeks or so I'll take out and go on it for 3 or 4 days. Leading to missing work, making excuses to clients and putting myself under serious pressure.

Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts, though I know deep down it's not something I would ever do, even for the simple fact that I could not bear to do that to my family. This will sound like a complete contradiction but I know I have a good life. I have my own business, I'm relatively young and I live in a great place. Yet even though I've just written that I can't convince myself of it. I've lay in bed for days with anxiety. Afraid to leave the house. Knowing that getting a days work over me would put me back on track but just being unable to do it. The smallest of jobs or tasks can make me extremely anxious.

After confiding in a couple of close friends who both gave me the same advice I finally went to see my doctor. He was fantastic with the whole thing. I am on low dosage medication at the moment (only a few days in) and he is putting a plan in place for me. I got the same advice almost a year ago and agreed with it, but once I started to feel 'normal' again I just convinced myself I was overreacting and feeling sorry for myself. But if it's a continuing cycle (which it is) thens it's not normal, and it needs dealt with in the proper manner.

I'm a logical person and that's what scares me the most about this. None of it is rational or logical, which really frustrates me. Sometimes it does just feel like I'm feeling sorry for myself. The best metaphor I could think of is that I'm looking at Ä100 on a table wishing it was Ä1m, whereas I need to be looking at what that Ä100 could buy. I'm hoping over the next few weeks and months with the plan that I'll be happy and satisfied with my Ä100.

I'm not even sure why I've posted this but it's good to get words down and get any advice possible, particularly seeing how many people here actually have first hand experience.

Any help and advice is greatly appreciated and apologies if this seems like attention seeking or anybody feels they have to reply. Just another individual story I suppose.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on March 01, 2018, 11:13:40 PM
Everything you have said makes total sense and getting it down on "paper" will help. You can still have a great life and be depressed so don't feel guilty about that - plenty of people with money and fame have been in the same boat. There is simply no substitute for sharing the load and it seems that you've done that and are on the right path. The low dosage medication is very likely to be a very long term scenario so I would advise following medical advice and continue to take it even when feeling well as it is there as a preventative measure as well as the therapeutic affect when you are feeling under the weather. Stick at it, talk to people, keep plugging away at the business and keep yourself busy and see if you can knock the binge drinking on the head and it will all help.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jell 0 Biafra on March 02, 2018, 02:33:49 AM
I've a few friends/family members who had been on medication for depression and tried to come off it once they started to feel normal, and convinced themselves they were fine (rather than it being the medication that was helping).  The depression came right back.

Do what your doctor says and stay on the medication for a good while.  If/when you and your doctor feel the time is right to come off it, do it very gradually.  If you're one one pill a day, cut it down to 3/4 for a month or two, and then 1/2 of one for another month or two, and so on.

Stopping the meds because you feel alright, and think you don't need them is a recipe for the problem to come right back.

Good luck with it.  It sounds like you're taking the right approach.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on March 02, 2018, 11:50:10 AM
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: quit yo jibbajabba on March 02, 2018, 12:31:12 PM
great post paddy john, fair play chap
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jeepers Creepers on March 02, 2018, 12:35:35 PM
Very honest and brave post PJ.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: ThroughTheLaces on March 02, 2018, 12:45:27 PM
+1

Thanks for that, every piece I read helps too. Can relate to a lot of it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: imtommygunn on March 02, 2018, 01:37:07 PM
Chris kerr the antrim keeper wrote a very powerful and detailed article on his struggle with depression.

https://t.co/weEQ0ehblk?amp=1 (https://t.co/weEQ0ehblk?amp=1)

It might be somewhat different for some people as this seemed to come from a trigger and some people don't have that but it is a very honest and powerful article and well worth reading.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: macdanger2 on March 03, 2018, 03:20:43 AM
Great post paddyjohn
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on May 04, 2018, 03:27:38 PM
just thought I would bump this thread up again. Exam season is upon us and kids all over are stressing about results. Just had a 4th year (uni) student end his life yesterday. So please talk to your kids, give them an extra hug, life is precious.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: johnnycool on May 04, 2018, 03:40:57 PM
just thought I would bump this thread up again. Exam season is upon us and kids all over are stressing about results. Just had a 4th year (uni) student end his life yesterday. So please talk to your kids, give them an extra hug, life is precious.

Flip sorry to hear that.

I know we as parents want the best for our kids and maybe push too hard and overemphasize education to a detrimental level.
It's hard to get it right.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on May 04, 2018, 05:46:53 PM
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.

I can absolutely relate.

About eight years ago friend once organized a singles meetup dinner thing in a nearby city, mainly for my benefit because she knew I wasn't well and needed a bit of company in my life. I was nervous but drove there anyway. When I got to the restaurant there were about ten other fellas and eleven women, all single and ready to mingle. I felt the anxiety building. They were making the seating arrangements at a big long table and I just felt a wave of terror wash over me. I went to the restroom and hid for a while, then came back out and made my apologies to my friend, saying "I see you're a bit short of seats, I don't mind leaving." I got back in my car and cried on my way home, then texted my friend saying "I'm really sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I felt awful because she'd gone to a lot of trouble, but she was very understanding. It's always okay to talk about it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Dinny Breen on June 08, 2018, 02:13:23 PM
An 11 year old boy committed suicide in Kildare yesterday. My heart goes out to his parents, mental health is affecting people younger and younger every year.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: AZOffaly on June 08, 2018, 02:24:12 PM
Jesus.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Dinny Breen on June 08, 2018, 02:27:22 PM
It's heartbreaking AZ.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Iceman on June 08, 2018, 02:35:11 PM
terrible news. I've lost a dear friend to suicide and it's a rough one to wrap your head around. At 11 years old its even worse (not that you can really rank a loss).

I do worry about tv shows like 13 reasons why (now on it's second season with a third in the works) that can glamorize suicide. I know there's never one straightforward answer as to why in every case - but I am concerned by shows like that.

Eamonn, thank you for sharing your story! Looking at 13 reasons why from your perspective does it help or could you see it pulling you further down in to your depression?

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Iceman on June 08, 2018, 03:26:47 PM
Kate Spade and now Anthony Bourdain....
There's a chapter in freakenomics about suicide spiking when high profile celebrities take their own lives. Tragic stuff
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on June 12, 2018, 12:52:22 AM
terrible news. I've lost a dear friend to suicide and it's a rough one to wrap your head around. At 11 years old its even worse (not that you can really rank a loss).

I do worry about tv shows like 13 reasons why (now on it's second season with a third in the works) that can glamorize suicide. I know there's never one straightforward answer as to why in every case - but I am concerned by shows like that.

Eamonn, thank you for sharing your story! Looking at 13 reasons why from your perspective does it help or could you see it pulling you further down in to your depression?

I'm not familiar with that show, Ice. What's it about?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Iceman on June 12, 2018, 02:23:31 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9KhvG2dpvI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9KhvG2dpvI)

Young girl takes her own life and makes 13 tapes to the 13 people who contributed to her death.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 12, 2018, 08:06:18 PM
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.

I can absolutely relate.

About eight years ago friend once organized a singles meetup dinner thing in a nearby city, mainly for my benefit because she knew I wasn't well and needed a bit of company in my life. I was nervous but drove there anyway. When I got to the restaurant there were about ten other fellas and eleven women, all single and ready to mingle. I felt the anxiety building. They were making the seating arrangements at a big long table and I just felt a wave of terror wash over me. I went to the restroom and hid for a while, then came back out and made my apologies to my friend, saying "I see you're a bit short of seats, I don't mind leaving." I got back in my car and cried on my way home, then texted my friend saying "I'm really sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I felt awful because she'd gone to a lot of trouble, but she was very understanding. It's always okay to talk about it.

And because in your own head you feel youíve let her down so everything becomes really bad again. Iíve have that feeling before to. The process of thinking logically doesnít exsist. Iím sure your friend didnít mind but you couldnít see that.

I had a bit of downer 3 weeks ago, went for a promotion at work and didnít get it. World fell apart for 2 days. I couldnít see anyway how I could continue to work with these people, paranoia set in and instead of being thankful that I have a wife & 2 beautiful kids, I was cursing them up and down for being part of the reason I didnít get the job. Thankfully I started to think straight and things settled quite quickly for me. I had a chat with the local parish priest and although itís not everybodyís cup of tea, Iíve found myself praying a lot more now than I ever did. I suppose it is a form of release aswell.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on June 12, 2018, 08:40:13 PM
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.

I can absolutely relate.

About eight years ago friend once organized a singles meetup dinner thing in a nearby city, mainly for my benefit because she knew I wasn't well and needed a bit of company in my life. I was nervous but drove there anyway. When I got to the restaurant there were about ten other fellas and eleven women, all single and ready to mingle. I felt the anxiety building. They were making the seating arrangements at a big long table and I just felt a wave of terror wash over me. I went to the restroom and hid for a while, then came back out and made my apologies to my friend, saying "I see you're a bit short of seats, I don't mind leaving." I got back in my car and cried on my way home, then texted my friend saying "I'm really sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I felt awful because she'd gone to a lot of trouble, but she was very understanding. It's always okay to talk about it.

And because in your own head you feel youíve let her down so everything becomes really bad again. Iíve have that feeling before to. The process of thinking logically doesnít exsist. Iím sure your friend didnít mind but you couldnít see that.

I had a bit of downer 3 weeks ago, went for a promotion at work and didnít get it. World fell apart for 2 days. I couldnít see anyway how I could continue to work with these people, paranoia set in and instead of being thankful that I have a wife & 2 beautiful kids, I was cursing them up and down for being part of the reason I didnít get the job. Thankfully I started to think straight and things settled quite quickly for me. I had a chat with the local parish priest and although itís not everybodyís cup of tea, Iíve found myself praying a lot more now than I ever did. I suppose it is a form of release aswell.

It's very important to talk....doesn't matter who to just so long as you talk....it is a form of release, and as for prayer....never knew it to harm anyone. Enjoy your kids....blink of an eye until they fly the nest. Best of luck👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 12, 2018, 10:36:35 PM
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.

I can absolutely relate.

About eight years ago friend once organized a singles meetup dinner thing in a nearby city, mainly for my benefit because she knew I wasn't well and needed a bit of company in my life. I was nervous but drove there anyway. When I got to the restaurant there were about ten other fellas and eleven women, all single and ready to mingle. I felt the anxiety building. They were making the seating arrangements at a big long table and I just felt a wave of terror wash over me. I went to the restroom and hid for a while, then came back out and made my apologies to my friend, saying "I see you're a bit short of seats, I don't mind leaving." I got back in my car and cried on my way home, then texted my friend saying "I'm really sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I felt awful because she'd gone to a lot of trouble, but she was very understanding. It's always okay to talk about it.

And because in your own head you feel youíve let her down so everything becomes really bad again. Iíve have that feeling before to. The process of thinking logically doesnít exsist. Iím sure your friend didnít mind but you couldnít see that.

I had a bit of downer 3 weeks ago, went for a promotion at work and didnít get it. World fell apart for 2 days. I couldnít see anyway how I could continue to work with these people, paranoia set in and instead of being thankful that I have a wife & 2 beautiful kids, I was cursing them up and down for being part of the reason I didnít get the job. Thankfully I started to think straight and things settled quite quickly for me. I had a chat with the local parish priest and although itís not everybodyís cup of tea, Iíve found myself praying a lot more now than I ever did. I suppose it is a form of release aswell.

It's very important to talk....doesn't matter who to just so long as you talk....it is a form of release, and as for prayer....never knew it to harm anyone. Enjoy your kids....blink of an eye until they fly the nest. Best of luck👍

Yip, talking is the key to it all. They are already to big to hold Daddies hand in their way to nursery and P1 lol

Cheers pal.. 👍👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Puckoon on June 13, 2018, 04:45:46 AM
That wonít last forever. Theyíll be holding daddyís hand intermittently between now and 9/10.

Itís a lovely physical connection and it can lift your spirits with the slightest of touch.

I share custody of my daughter with her Mum and to be honest I donít know where I fit on the mental health scale but I know Iím pass remarkably happier when sheís under my roof and when weíre engaging with each other. Sheís 10 now and starting to assert herself and push the boundaries. There have hands down been times when sheís my sole reason for everything. A great comfort.

Best of luck and keep talking and enjoy those moments of connection with your kids when you get them.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: imtommygunn on June 13, 2018, 07:41:08 AM
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 13, 2018, 08:54:37 AM
That wonít last forever. Theyíll be holding daddyís hand intermittently between now and 9/10.

Itís a lovely physical connection and it can lift your spirits with the slightest of touch.

I share custody of my daughter with her Mum and to be honest I donít know where I fit on the mental health scale but I know Iím pass remarkably happier when sheís under my roof and when weíre engaging with each other. Sheís 10 now and starting to assert herself and push the boundaries. There have hands down been times when sheís my sole reason for everything. A great comfort.

Best of luck and keep talking and enjoy those moments of connection with your kids when you get them.

The last few weeks have been good as I've almost felt guilty for blaming them, when it turn it was my own shortcomings that didn't get me the job so I've been spoiling them. The comfort I get from them is second to none.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 13, 2018, 08:59:17 AM
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(

Admitting it is the hardest thing to do, the lad needs a decent support from family members to help him instead of talking about doctors controlling him. There is very little you can as he might think you are sticking your nose in.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on June 13, 2018, 09:38:48 AM
That wonít last forever. Theyíll be holding daddyís hand intermittently between now and 9/10.

Itís a lovely physical connection and it can lift your spirits with the slightest of touch.

I share custody of my daughter with her Mum and to be honest I donít know where I fit on the mental health scale but I know Iím pass remarkably happier when sheís under my roof and when weíre engaging with each other. Sheís 10 now and starting to assert herself and push the boundaries. There have hands down been times when sheís my sole reason for everything. A great comfort.

Best of luck and keep talking and enjoy those moments of connection with your kids when you get them.

The last few weeks have been good as I've almost felt guilty for blaming them, when it turn it was my own shortcomings that didn't get me the job so I've been spoiling them. The comfort I get from them is second to none.

I remember a wise man saying to me years ago that when you have kids your life is like a large jar of marbles and that each opportunity to do something with them meant taking a marble out that you could never put back. When I look back now I feel that I was selfish with my time, and feel very guilty. However when I talk to my kids they don't feel that I was selfish .....I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy every minute with them. I would love to have that time again.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 13, 2018, 09:55:23 AM
That wonít last forever. Theyíll be holding daddyís hand intermittently between now and 9/10.

Itís a lovely physical connection and it can lift your spirits with the slightest of touch.

I share custody of my daughter with her Mum and to be honest I donít know where I fit on the mental health scale but I know Iím pass remarkably happier when sheís under my roof and when weíre engaging with each other. Sheís 10 now and starting to assert herself and push the boundaries. There have hands down been times when sheís my sole reason for everything. A great comfort.

Best of luck and keep talking and enjoy those moments of connection with your kids when you get them.

The last few weeks have been good as I've almost felt guilty for blaming them, when it turn it was my own shortcomings that didn't get me the job so I've been spoiling them. The comfort I get from them is second to none.

I remember a wise man saying to me years ago that when you have kids your life is like a large jar of marbles and that each opportunity to do something with them meant taking a marble out that you could never put back. When I look back now I feel that I was selfish with my time, and feel very guilty. However when I talk to my kids they don't feel that I was selfish .....I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy every minute with them. I would love to have that time again.

I've never heard that before but its very true. Yeah I've alot to be thankful for.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rois on June 13, 2018, 10:45:18 AM
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(
Would he talk to you about it?
We did a mental health first aid course a few weeks back in work and the advice was that even if you end up falling out with him in the short term, at least he will know you are not afraid to mention it.

A girl I work with just got married to an Irish hockey player who has been incredibly open about his personal struggle:
 www.the42.ie/paul-gleghorne-mental-health-hockey-interview-3379361-May2017/
It's a good read.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: tintin25 on June 13, 2018, 01:24:23 PM

Had a few turns recently but thankfully have perked up again and got involved in a few clubs/classes to the keep mind active.

Personally, my low points stem from the fact I'm not in any sort of relationship at the minute and I'm actually a little petrified at the thought of growing old alone.  Majority of friends are all married, in relationships and having babies, and I want what they have.  I constantly overanalyze previous relationships, questioning whether I should have ended it or indeed beating myself up as to why they ended it.

Realise you should never compare your life to others and other aspects of my life are very good (compared to others here) but it's hard to shake at times.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: The Iceman on June 13, 2018, 01:59:19 PM
Can I encourage you all to participate in a great event coming up in Armagh this weekend:
https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/re-ignite-your-ultimate-power-tickets-44439759517 (https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/re-ignite-your-ultimate-power-tickets-44439759517)

It can equip many of you who struggle with depression or negativity, with the tools and techniques to take control of your thoughts.
I've personally went through similar training and talk to the host of the event regularly still.
Worth every penny.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: imtommygunn on June 13, 2018, 07:59:34 PM
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(

Admitting it is the hardest thing to do, the lad needs a decent support from family members to help him instead of talking about doctors controlling him. There is very little you can as he might think you are sticking your nose in.

Exactly. Genuinely a bit worried about the fella.

Rois he wouldn't really. To be honest i said to our manager that i could see bad signs and we talked about it. Won't accept help at all and is now thinking about leaving when that manager always gave him leeway whereas somewhere else may not. He has just bought a house so has a mortgage too and i am not convinced that extra responsibility will be good for him.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 13, 2018, 09:23:34 PM
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(

Admitting it is the hardest thing to do, the lad needs a decent support from family members to help him instead of talking about doctors controlling him. There is very little you can as he might think you are sticking your nose in.

Exactly. Genuinely a bit worried about the fella.

Rois he wouldn't really. To be honest i said to our manager that i could see bad signs and we talked about it. Won't accept help at all and is now thinking about leaving when that manager always gave him leeway whereas somewhere else may not. He has just bought a house so has a mortgage too and i am not convinced that extra responsibility will be good for him.

The financial side of life is a complete bastid for people. Iíd say 75% of the rows with the wife are money related, sometimes the pressure is serious. We are lucky we have a decent group of mates who donít care what kinda money we have or the holidays that we go on.

Sounds like youíve done all you can and more. Itís hard to watch a work colleague going through a hard time.

This is a good thread folks, restores my faith in life. 👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on June 13, 2018, 09:41:30 PM
The Serenity Prayer is sound advice ......God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

I think we go through different stages in life and I believe we do get wiser as we get older. When I was 17-30 I thought I was bulletproof, then marriage and kids settled the jets somewhat, busy being a full time taxi for the kids, late 40's and now well into 50's kids flown the nest, major health scares survived, mortgage free, enjoying life and looking forward to retirement.
Personally speaking I would not like to be 18 now, think there is too much pressure on young people, especially with 'social media' and so called celebrities. Took me a long time to accept that I can't change the world but eventually I did and life is good.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: imtommygunn on June 13, 2018, 09:50:04 PM
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(

Admitting it is the hardest thing to do, the lad needs a decent support from family members to help him instead of talking about doctors controlling him. There is very little you can as he might think you are sticking your nose in.

Exactly. Genuinely a bit worried about the fella.

Rois he wouldn't really. To be honest i said to our manager that i could see bad signs and we talked about it. Won't accept help at all and is now thinking about leaving when that manager always gave him leeway whereas somewhere else may not. He has just bought a house so has a mortgage too and i am not convinced that extra responsibility will be good for him.

The financial side of life is a complete bastid for people. Iíd say 75% of the rows with the wife are money related, sometimes the pressure is serious. We are lucky we have a decent group of mates who donít care what kinda money we have or the holidays that we go on.

Sounds like youíve done all you can and more. Itís hard to watch a work colleague going through a hard time.

This is a good thread folks, restores my faith in life. 👍

Cheers. Yeah his boss has said to me he has phoned helplines to seek advice on how to help him but every avenue he has tried he has drawn a blank. Difficult situation.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on June 13, 2018, 11:42:59 PM
From the it's-good-to-talk department:

Last few days I was getting unbelievably stressed at work. I'd had a bad annual review (wasn't focused enough on my core area of responsibility, too much time spent on side projects that could create opportunities for me in the future but aren't directly related to what I was hired to do, hence quality of my work was suffering and others were having to re-do it) and I went home early on Friday in a terrible state because of it.

I came in this week trying to think positive but there was something poisoning the atmosphere on the team. There's this girl who's a star performer but doesn't get along with the rest of us. I had a major blowout with her yesterday and honestly felt like quitting on the spot.

Well this morning I asked her if we could have a private chat, and she agreed. We found a small conference room, talked over where we were coming from, all the little misunderstandings, all the little things each of us did wrong. It only took 15 minutes but it was amazing how much pressure was lifted from both of our shoulders. I felt relieved and I could see she felt the same. We agreed to be friends again and hopefully we're back to the same positive vibe we had when she first started here.

The power of talking things out is amazing. Not behind backs, but directly and face to face with a frank but polite and professional attitude. I admitted my mistakes up front and asked how I could make it better. She soon opened up and started admitting her mistakes and we apologized to each other for where we went wrong, and acknowledged where we both needed to do better.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 18, 2018, 05:29:17 PM
* bump *
 
For the benefit of Spoofer on the other thread who's been having a bit of bother. Also for the benefit of anyone who struggles at this time of year with shorter days and the imminent time-change.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Itchy on October 18, 2018, 10:20:46 PM
Maybe you guys can help me. A close family friend of mine suffered very severe depression 2 years ago after having her child. She ended up hospitalised. She made a decent recovery if that's the right word, drugs have been since reduced but she never went back to work or took up a hobby etc. Stuff she was advised to do. Now I can see the last weeks she is low and I'm afraid she is going backwards. She not sleeping and feeling crap all the time. The problem is she won't talk to any of us, we've tried but we get nothing back really. I know she's in a darker place but am helpless. I think she considers herself a burden on us and so doesn't talk openly to us.  Not really sure what to do or how to help.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on October 19, 2018, 12:11:59 AM
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Itchy on October 19, 2018, 08:29:36 AM
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

She goes to a Councillor, she dumped 3 or 4 of them initially as she didn't like them. However, I would say its more like she didn't like the questions they were asking. I am fairly sure she is not telling current Councillor the truth and I certainly see no evidence that Councillor is  making any progress with her.

You see there was tragedy in the family when she was a child, I am sure that's some of the root of the issue but she will never talk about it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: brokencrossbar1 on October 19, 2018, 08:42:11 AM
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

She goes to a Councillor, she dumped 3 or 4 of them initially as she didn't like them. However, I would say its more like she didn't like the questions they were asking. I am fairly sure she is not telling current Councillor the truth and I certainly see no evidence that Councillor is  making any progress with her.

You see there was tragedy in the family when she was a child, I am sure that's some of the root of the issue but she will never talk about it.

Itchy as a family all you can do is support her. Thereís only so much you can do. She has the support structures around her and if she is dumping the counsellors as you say then she is not ready to get better. I would see if there is anyone who she can trust but she has to want to make the ch age herself. This may sound a bit cold but you canít do it for her. Provide her with the professional supports you can, mind her as best as you can but ultimately she needs to make the decision
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on October 19, 2018, 10:45:01 AM
Professional help is the way to go. Counseling is the first option. Maybe look up some counseling options in your area and present those to her.

She goes to a Councillor, she dumped 3 or 4 of them initially as she didn't like them. However, I would say its more like she didn't like the questions they were asking. I am fairly sure she is not telling current Councillor the truth and I certainly see no evidence that Councillor is  making any progress with her.

You see there was tragedy in the family when she was a child, I am sure that's some of the root of the issue but she will never talk about it.


Itchy as a family all you can do is support her. Thereís only so much you can do. She has the support structures around her and if she is dumping the counsellors as you say then she is not ready to get better. I would see if there is anyone who she can trust but she has to want to make the ch age herself. This may sound a bit cold but you canít do it for her. Provide her with the professional supports you can, mind her as best as you can but ultimately she needs to make the decision


I would agree, BC. Something is probably causing it and the illness can't be fixed without addressing it. 
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: spoofer on October 31, 2018, 10:44:08 PM
Does anyone find they have destructive behaviour which keeps the flame of depression lighting?..as in you are generally horrified by your actions but it's a choice you make to ease some mental pain ie alcohol, self harming, risky behaviour? I posted on another  forum about my relationship with alcohol and since then I've taken the step of seeing someone professionally after severe unexpected family difficulties...esp from my wife from her childhood years unfortunately(you don't need to be a heinous to figure this one out). Somebody replied to my post about pouring all alcohol in the house down the sink which was drastic but it struck a chord about where I was and metaphorically shuck me up!!
So I've started therapy and am trying so hard to change my mindset. In doing so I'm trying CBT AND mindfulness/meditation.
It's so difficult as I'm still actively experiencing negative personal and family issues. It's such a difficult mind shift to make..I would consider myself a fairly intelligent guy with strong emotional connections but I'm struggling so much to see things clearly. I know I'm baffling and ranting but my question to you boys is how do ye  feel about the connection internally with mindfullness/CBT? Is it a habit after a while or is this difficulty somewhat always there?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jell 0 Biafra on November 01, 2018, 12:40:28 AM
Does anyone find they have destructive behaviour which keeps the flame of depression lighting?..as in you are generally horrified by your actions but it's a choice you make to ease some mental pain ie alcohol, self harming, risky behaviour? I posted on another  forum about my relationship with alcohol and since then I've taken the step of seeing someone professionally after severe unexpected family difficulties...esp from my wife from her childhood years unfortunately(you don't need to be a heinous to figure this one out). Somebody replied to my post about pouring all alcohol in the house down the sink which was drastic but it struck a chord about where I was and metaphorically shuck me up!!
So I've started therapy and am trying so hard to change my mindset. In doing so I'm trying CBT AND mindfulness/meditation.
It's so difficult as I'm still actively experiencing negative personal and family issues. It's such a difficult mind shift to make..I would consider myself a fairly intelligent guy with strong emotional connections but I'm struggling so much to see things clearly. I know I'm baffling and ranting but my question to you boys is how do ye  feel about the connection internally with mindfullness/CBT? Is it a habit after a while or is this difficulty somewhat always there?

I did mindfulness training in the late 90s for a panic disorder.  It was very helpful, and I do go back to it from time to time when I feel I need to.  But at first, you do need to force yourself to stick to a regimen and it can be difficult at first. But as you begin to see the benefits, you'll find yourself returning to the mindfulness techniques more instinctively.  At least, that's how it was for me back then.  Best of luck with it.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on November 01, 2018, 08:14:00 PM
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyHarp on November 01, 2018, 11:40:58 PM
I came across this today, my apologies if it has been posted before but I found it very inspiring. Especially coming from someone so young. https://diggchildrenswear.com/blogs/news/its-going-to-be-ok-my-mental-health-journey-by-sean-ohare
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on November 02, 2018, 09:03:01 AM
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Frank_The_Tank on November 02, 2018, 10:31:31 AM
Two good books by Matt Haig

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reasons-Stay-Alive-Matt-Haig/dp/1782116826/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1541154400&sr=8-3&keywords=matt+haig

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Notes-Nervous-Planet-Matt-Haig/dp/1786892677/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1541154400&sr=8-1&keywords=matt+haig
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Walter Cronc on November 02, 2018, 02:25:16 PM
Did anyone listen to the Joe Rogan podcast with Tyson Fury. Very interesting to hear about Fury's battle with depression.

Setting small targets and working out seemed to be his key to recovery.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on November 02, 2018, 02:47:23 PM
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/it-could-be-your-parent-a-sibling-or-colleague-that-s-making-you-ill-1.3673100?mode=amp

what characterises a healthy relationship?
It involves two people in an authentic dynamic who emotionally support each other and provide practical help, as needed. They communicate well, trust each other, are thoughtful and share healthy activities. On a basic level, you feel emotionally and physically safe. Each party is there for the joy, but also the suffering. There is mutual respect, trust and a Ďgive-and-takeí ethos. The best of you is brought out in a vibrant dynamic and you can be yourself, warts and all.

relational stress can trigger psychological ill health and aggravate existing mental-health conditions. Each person brings a unique, history, personality, set of values and communication style to the table. An unhealthy relationship can wreck your head, sap your energy and consume you so much you miss out on all the positive relations you have. Those around you become fed up hearing the details over and over again. Another serious side-effect is that prolonged exposure can chip away at your sense of worth.

A lack of respect is characterised by name calling, being overly critical of and putting down the other person. Breaches of trust, false promises, lack of communication and over-dependence are other indicators. Jealousy, possessiveness, controlling behaviours and manipulation may feature. Arguing not only impacts the duo, but those around them and high levels of conflict are linked to depression and low self-esteem.
Being bullied is a contributory factor to a plethora of physical and psychological damage. Constantly being let down by the other person, repeated negative behaviours or too much drama is emotionally draining. Negativity and moaning can have an adverse effect on your own mood. Know-it-alls, competitors, boasters and Ďall about mesí can irritate and bore.


So how can you get out of an unhealthy relationship?
It starts with you. The first step to exiting and getting into better dynamics is to work on yourself. Take stock and uncover what your vulnerabilities are. Perhaps you need to be more assertive and work on your self-esteem. Are there patterns? Identify what are your issues and what are not? Learn from it and review your selection process.
Assess if the relationship is good for you, what are you getting from it and are there any of the above symptoms present. Ask for feedback from others and explore what you are hanging on for. So many people stay in relationships that are not good for them because there is a history, or it is family, or because they fear confrontation and change.
People may endure toxicity for what they perceive is best for the children, financial reasons or the fear of being alone. Others live in the shadow hoping for change. Sadly, some people may be so worn down, their resources have diminished. It takes strength to leave, so accessing support, therapy and positive outlets can help. Write or reflect on what keeps you holding on.
Healthy boundaries involve verbal, physical and psychological layers and help keep a healthy distance and not get sucked in. Donít fake it. If talking hasnít worked or is not an option, step right back. You can connect with people on different levels from your inner circle outwards and maintain easy connections with twice-a year-lunch buddies or Christmas card people.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on November 02, 2018, 07:40:40 PM
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.

Life has a habit of kicking us in the balls sometimes but thankfully Iím in a better place to deal with it now. What Iím experiencing this week would of crippled me 5/6 years ago.

👍👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on November 02, 2018, 08:20:55 PM
Going through a real hard time this week. A close friend has just been given bad news and itís hit me like a ton of bricks. Also work is being a complete ballbag and Iím getting the brunt of the shite!

But I keep telling myself it could be worse and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

I found from my own experiences that a text or quick call to the person means so much, shows the friend that they are in our thoughts and prayers. Let them know you are there for them, no matter how trivial they may think the issue is. As for the work....if the shite you are getting is unwarranted then speak to those giving it out......failing that look elsewhere for employment......life is too short.
The weekend is upon us.....do something as simple as a park walk with the kids....with a wee treat at the end of it. Keep talking to us.

Life has a habit of kicking us in the balls sometimes but thankfully Iím in a better place to deal with it now. What Iím experiencing this week would of crippled me 5/6 years ago.

👍👍

Good man👍👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: marty34 on November 02, 2018, 09:03:57 PM
Good man. Every day is a new day. Live one day at a time.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: STREET FIGHTER on November 02, 2018, 09:41:26 PM
For all the negative sh*te on the board threads like this are really refreshing.....along with the alcohol thread recently introduced....

Still some really good people out there....

Keep up the great work......the support is incredible......I'm sure its providing comfort to those who require it....
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on November 02, 2018, 09:52:50 PM
For all the negative sh*te on the board threads like this are really refreshing.....along with the alcohol thread recently introduced....

Still some really good people out there....

Keep up the great work......the support is incredible......I'm sure its providing comfort to those who require it....

Some bullshit and real arrogant w***ers on some threads but this youíre spot on, a lot of decent lads and ladies on the boards to help.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: spoofer on November 03, 2018, 11:15:46 AM
For all the negative sh*te on the board threads like this are really refreshing.....along with the alcohol thread recently introduced....

Still some really good people out there....

Keep up the great work......the support is incredible......I'm sure its providing comfort to those who require it....

Some bullshit and real arrogant w***ers on some threads but this youíre spot on, a lot of decent lads and ladies on the boards to help.

I agree wholeheartedly..I know I don't contribute very much on here but everyone's thoughts and tough stories and experiences have helped me greatly. I know I'm not alone and some if not all of us have these kind of chapters in our lives at some stage. Thanks to you all so much  ;)
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Rich Ricci on November 03, 2018, 06:01:52 PM
This thread hits home hard at present. Been struggling a lot recently all beginning with losing my job (have since found another) Then's there's the alcohol and gambling. You drink and gamble to try and help yourself but it reaches a certain stage during/after where you just feel 10x worse than you did before due to hangover and money lost. All coming to an all time low yesterday where I emptied my bank account to a grand total of 1.35 within the space of 45 mins. A kick in the balls and hit me hard this morning when i realised i had nothing to live on until Friday. I don't know whether I'm an addict because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm an addict. Either way today I realised enough was enough. Permanently excluded myself from all my online accounts and going to see the Gp on Monday.

Took a lot of comfort from reading this read. Went through many pages and seen that there were many others going through worse than me that came back out the other side stronger. Just got to take it one day at a time.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on November 03, 2018, 06:10:44 PM
This thread hits home hard at present. Been struggling a lot recently all beginning with losing my job (have since found another) Then's there's the alcohol and gambling. You drink and gamble to try and help yourself but it reaches a certain stage during/after where you just feel 10x worse than you did before due to hangover and money lost. All coming to an all time low yesterday where I emptied my bank account to a grand total of 1.35 within the space of 45 mins. A kick in the balls and hit me hard this morning when i realised i had nothing to live on until Friday. I don't know whether I'm an addict because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm an addict. Either way today I realised enough was enough. Permanently excluded myself from all my online accounts and going to see the Gp on Monday.

Took a lot of comfort from reading this read. Went through many pages and seen that there were many others going through worse than me that came back out the other side stronger. Just got to take it one day at a time.

Don't be too hard on yourself.....lots of us have been there and come out the other end. Online gambling is a disaster....pressing buttons not the same as taking money out of your pocket. Drink and gambling were escapism for me....dread to think what I lost....but I'm still here......have the odd football bet for a £5, occasional lucky 15.... still take a drink. Lesson I learned was if I only went out with £50 that's all I had to lose. Join a support group whether gambling anonymous or whatever.....you are not alone.....the sun will come up tomorrow.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: STREET FIGHTER on November 03, 2018, 06:29:19 PM
This thread hits home hard at present. Been struggling a lot recently all beginning with losing my job (have since found another) Then's there's the alcohol and gambling. You drink and gamble to try and help yourself but it reaches a certain stage during/after where you just feel 10x worse than you did before due to hangover and money lost. All coming to an all time low yesterday where I emptied my bank account to a grand total of 1.35 within the space of 45 mins. A kick in the balls and hit me hard this morning when i realised i had nothing to live on until Friday. I don't know whether I'm an addict because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm an addict. Either way today I realised enough was enough. Permanently excluded myself from all my online accounts and going to see the Gp on Monday.

Took a lot of comfort from reading this read. Went through many pages and seen that there were many others going through worse than me that came back out the other side stronger. Just got to take it one day at a time.


Keep the head up.....

You've realised there is a problem which needs to be fixed....that's a great start....

A day at a time is correct.....

Don't be afraid to reach out....GP appointment a good move....

All the issues are inter twined......time to try and unravel them and move forward....

Best of luck with it all....
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: heganboy on November 19, 2018, 12:48:44 PM
Mr Lightbody, making a very personal case that the lack of an assembly in Belfast is contributing to depression and suicide

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-northern-ireland-46249365/gary-lightbody-feels-angry
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Taylor on November 19, 2018, 02:37:23 PM
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on November 19, 2018, 04:55:10 PM
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

I used to go running when I was angry and felt my head would explode.....a bit like Forrest Gump....just head off and see where I would end up.....it was great for getting rid of the anger. I understand your frustration about the wait to see a professional.....there are private counsellors available if you want to see someone sooner. Good man for taking the first step and best of luck.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on November 20, 2018, 11:06:44 AM
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

Good luck pal. Well done on taking that first step, its the hardest thing to do.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on November 21, 2018, 12:09:17 AM
Recently took the step of going to the GP as something just isnt right in my head between anger, pissed off most of the time etc. etc.

Dont know if its depression or what.

Anyway he referred me as he said I needed to see a professional.

Got an appointment.......for next March. Jesus. And to think there are people worse off than me and they have to wait over 4 months to be seen

Fair play to you for taking the first step. Strikes me as a bit odd that they'd keep you waiting until March though, I'd have thought counsellors would be more available than that. As Bolt said, if you feel like you can't wait that long, look up private counsellors.  Might cost a wee bit of money but it could be well spent if it helps you out this side of winter.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Taylor on December 05, 2018, 12:39:25 PM
Cheers lads.

Tried that running lark. Goosed after a mile. Too fat  :P

Strange as it may seem (and I dont know how) I have found myself more relaxed simply because I have an appointment in March and there may be something that can be done.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on December 05, 2018, 02:08:59 PM
Cheers lads.

Tried that running lark. Goosed after a mile. Too fat  :P

Strange as it may seem (and I dont know how) I have found myself more relaxed simply because I have an appointment in March and there may be something that can be done.

As the saying goes.....the longest journey starts with the smallest step. Well done on getting out, keep it going....I'm 17 stone so no lightweight 😜. I regularly do 5k now so hope for us all.....and always feel a lot better after it. Keep talking👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on December 05, 2018, 04:58:38 PM
If you can't run, walk. Pick up the pace slightly each time, try to sprinkle in a few steps of running to get you going. Running's tough, it hurts the first few times you do it, but you can settle into it eventually. Even when I'm in shape and I've been training, I still find the first mile tough as hell until I settle into my stride.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on December 19, 2018, 07:00:07 PM
*Bump*

Christmas is hard for a lot of people, keep an eye for your family & friends.

The last month or 6 weeks have been hard for me, thankfully Iím getting through it.

Itís good to talk folks.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on December 19, 2018, 07:59:35 PM
*Bump*

Christmas is hard for a lot of people, keep an eye for your family & friends.

The last month or 6 weeks have been hard for me, thankfully Iím getting through it.

Itís good to talk folks.

Good man PJ, life is a roller coaster, enjoy the ride. Keep talking.....especially to the kids....they make no judgement. The sun always comes up👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Baile an tuaigh on December 19, 2018, 08:16:54 PM
My cousin's wife just died from this disease left three young children behind. No matter what happens at the end of the day every single one of us are fighting our own demons.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Boycey on December 19, 2018, 08:19:34 PM
You know what's great for the auld head, a dog... Their attention is
 unconditional. I'm typing this sitting in a dark empty stand at the local football field as the dog potters about the seats. I value this walk every day, keeps me sane 😀 soon time to toddle home
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on December 19, 2018, 08:40:59 PM
I read the story of Laura Burns in the paper last week, a young nurse who passed last week. 32 years old. Totally freaked me out, i used to hurl against her husband and knew him through work also.

Unreal, scary. We all have demons to fight. Keep talking folks.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyCake on December 19, 2018, 08:46:24 PM
You know what's great for the auld head, a dog... Their attention is
 unconditional. I'm typing this sitting in a dark empty stand at the local football field as the dog potters about the seats. I value this walk every day, keeps me sane 😀 soon time to toddle home

Never was one for dogs but I can see the value of one for some.

I find that swimming is great for me. Gives you time to work things out, bit of head space. No phones, tv, distractions. Youíve no choice but to switch off for an hour.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on December 19, 2018, 08:48:59 PM
You know what's great for the auld head, a dog... Their attention is
 unconditional. I'm typing this sitting in a dark empty stand at the local football field as the dog potters about the seats. I value this walk every day, keeps me sane 😀 soon time to toddle home

Agree...my poor dog...she never talks back....always up for a walk...rain hail or snow.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: laoislad on December 19, 2018, 08:50:04 PM

I find that swimming is great for me. Gives you time to work things out, bit of head space. No phones, tv, distractions. Youíve no choice but to switch off for an hour.
Any form of exercise is great. If you find something you love doing it's even better. Running does it for me.
Certainly good to switch off for an hour or so whatever it is you like to do.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on December 19, 2018, 09:53:55 PM
If you're not into dogs, try cats. Mine saved me a few years ago.

There's even research that says that the sound of a cat purring on your lap can lower your heart rate and help you relax. My cat is always happy to see me when I come home. I have a wife now but when I was single the cat was a godsend. It was nice to have this animal waiting for me at day's end.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Taylor on December 20, 2018, 08:25:17 AM
*Bump*

Christmas is hard for a lot of people, keep an eye for your family & friends.

The last month or 6 weeks have been hard for me, thankfully Iím getting through it.

Itís good to talk folks.

Good man PJ.
Keep the head up and as the lads/ladies here have said no matter how hard it may seem talk to someone about it.
Costs nothing but definitely helps
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: general on December 20, 2018, 10:50:44 AM
For anyone on Facebook, get yourself on a page called "Ask Dave".

A lad of about 25 set it up some time ago, as a support for anyone feeling down, depressed or just down right P8shed off. I met the young lad out the other night while doing the once yearly festive 12 pubs and had a craic with him, great lad all together.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: tintin25 on December 20, 2018, 12:25:46 PM

First Xmas in a long time and I seriously have no motivation to do anything.  Majority of mates are all married and have kids, so the nights out will be few and far between.  Trying to keep active for e.g. gym but it's hard not to have periods where you get abit 'down' during this time of year.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Jeepers Creepers on December 20, 2018, 01:01:31 PM
Lads, I cannot recommend being out in the fresh air enough. If your lucky enough to live beside a river, hills/mountains or woodland. Birds, trees plants & nosies all proven to be a great distraction from every day life. A public park if your inner city. Get yourself a rain coat and flask of tea and a few sarnies and head out. Trust me, its a world away.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Taylor on December 20, 2018, 01:14:08 PM

First Xmas in a long time and I seriously have no motivation to do anything.  Majority of mates are all married and have kids, so the nights out will be few and far between.  Trying to keep active for e.g. gym but it's hard not to have periods where you get abit 'down' during this time of year.

have you looked into another hobby or interest to widen your spectrum of friends or people to mingle with?
More than yourself like this at the time of year.

Failing that speak to your mates - regardless of their circumstances they will make time for you
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: tintin25 on December 20, 2018, 01:53:26 PM

First Xmas in a long time and I seriously have no motivation to do anything.  Majority of mates are all married and have kids, so the nights out will be few and far between.  Trying to keep active for e.g. gym but it's hard not to have periods where you get abit 'down' during this time of year.

have you looked into another hobby or interest to widen your spectrum of friends or people to mingle with?
More than yourself like this at the time of year.

Failing that speak to your mates - regardless of their circumstances they will make time for you

To be honest, I do keep myself active and whilst I have decent network of friends it can get quite lonely at the weekends especially if you've nothing else on and everyone else is doing there own thing.  I guess at this point in my life (early/mid thirties) I thought I would have been married/have kids etc.  My twenties came and went in a flash and I probably enjoyed the single life too much.  Guess it just hits you abit when you see everyone else settled.  That's not to say I'm unhappy and appreciate there are people in relationships who are unhappy and it's purely a convenience thing, but this time of year just gets me thinking about what I shouldda/couldda done re previous relationships.  Life certainly doesn't go in the straight line you expect it to when you're younger!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BennyCake on December 20, 2018, 02:01:40 PM
Another thing that lifts your mood no end is pop on a stand up dvd. An hour of Billy Connolly would do you the power of good. Other comedians are available.

Anyone considered baking? Not much good at it but Iím sure a few scones, buns or apple tart is doable for most of us. Then pop your results round to family and friends. Itís a good excuse to call in, see people, arrange something for later etc. Plus, you can have a good laugh with folk when your results turn out disastrous!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on December 20, 2018, 02:53:37 PM

First Xmas in a long time and I seriously have no motivation to do anything.  Majority of mates are all married and have kids, so the nights out will be few and far between.  Trying to keep active for e.g. gym but it's hard not to have periods where you get abit 'down' during this time of year.

have you looked into another hobby or interest to widen your spectrum of friends or people to mingle with?
More than yourself like this at the time of year.

Failing that speak to your mates - regardless of their circumstances they will make time for you

To be honest, I do keep myself active and whilst I have decent network of friends it can get quite lonely at the weekends especially if you've nothing else on and everyone else is doing there own thing.  I guess at this point in my life (early/mid thirties) I thought I would have been married/have kids etc.  My twenties came and went in a flash and I probably enjoyed the single life too much.  Guess it just hits you abit when you see everyone else settled.  That's not to say I'm unhappy and appreciate there are people in relationships who are unhappy and it's purely a convenience thing, but this time of year just gets me thinking about what I shouldda/couldda done re previous relationships.  Life certainly doesn't go in the straight line you expect it to when you're younger!

Have you tried doing some volunteer work? It's great to remind me how lucky I am and how much I take for granted. Amazing the people you meet. Keep the chin up.....as the saying goes....if it's for you it will not go by you.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Cunny Funt on December 20, 2018, 11:03:53 PM
Dublin footballer Shane Carthy on his experiences with depression. His intention is to share a message to those who are suffering in silence that there is hope for you and you are not alone on this journey

https://scarthyblog.home.blog/2018/12/19/im-no-longer-surviving-im-living/
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on December 20, 2018, 11:39:30 PM
Wife was out tonight with work, In laws had the kids so I took the chance to go for a dander and ended up in a mates house with a pot of tea and a pool table. Craic was serious and some memories were brought up.

It did me a world of good and although there was a few tears from us all about whatís happened, itís proved that we are all there together.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on December 20, 2018, 11:41:37 PM
Another thing that lifts your mood no end is pop on a stand up dvd. An hour of Billy Connolly would do you the power of good. Other comedians are available.

Anyone considered baking? Not much good at it but Iím sure a few scones, buns or apple tart is doable for most of us. Then pop your results round to family and friends. Itís a good excuse to call in, see people, arrange something for later etc. Plus, you can have a good laugh with folk when your results turn out disastrous!

I used to make soda farls and give a few extras to the girl next door. She was always happy to receive them, fresh from the griddle. A good excuse to meet the neighbours in a place where neighbours don't always mingle much.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: spuds on December 23, 2018, 10:48:14 AM
Interestingly blog article from Dub player Shane Carthy from Naomh Mearnůg outlining his experiences.

https://scarthyblog.home.blog/2018/12/19/im-no-longer-surviving-im-living/
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on January 01, 2019, 08:42:03 AM
Happy New Year lads & ladies. Keep talking, keep smiling and donít let anything stand in your way.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on January 01, 2019, 09:10:44 AM
Happy New Year lads & ladies. Keep talking, keep smiling and donít let anything stand in your way.

👍👍👍
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: grounded on January 01, 2019, 11:25:55 AM
Happy New Year lads & ladies. Keep talking, keep smiling and donít let anything stand in your way.

Good man PJ, thats the spirit. Some great advice earlier about joining different clubs etc to meet new people.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Walter Cronc on January 07, 2019, 04:48:28 PM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on January 07, 2019, 05:27:07 PM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

I've had issues with this. Totally fried my head last summer. Got a promotion and tried to hard to impress, ended up making 3/4 big mistakes and it really shattered my self confidence and the self doubting was unreal.

I took a step back and weighed up my options, and decided to stay put. Gradually I started to make amends and slowed the process down and things have fine since. None of us can change the world and work, although it pays the bills is only small on the grand scheme of things.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Boycey on January 07, 2019, 05:27:23 PM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

I can relate to that, the last few years at my job have been nearly unbearable. A long story, I've basically been backed into a corner where I'm all things to this business, accountant, manager, IT person you f**king name it I do it. I've also got a financial interest in it without being the owner making it difficult to leave. I'm  50 and despite having loads of qualifications find it hard to see where I can place myself in the working world to get the wage I require/need

It got to me a couple of years back and basically didn't sleep for a year, but with medication I sleep now but still find myself under pressure and worrying. (mostly unnecessarily). The simple thing to do is give it up but what then?
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on January 07, 2019, 05:38:40 PM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

If a job is stressing you out my advice is to change jobs. I used to run my own business but ended up working 7 days a week to try and get a living....many a week I paid my employees and went home with very little. I started to drink more and it had knock on affect with family life. I made a decision to walk away from the business.....closed it one Saturday afternoon. I got a job as a postman....loved it.....now work in social care.....money isn't great but it's enough to do me at my time of life. Hope you get sorted.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Tony Baloney on January 07, 2019, 05:43:21 PM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.
Been there done that. Feeling trapped in a job/relationship is a common source of depression. It came to a head for me as the only way out I could see was to work elsewhere but it had to be on similar or better money. I did a phone interview with another company for slightly better money but more of a commute (which in hindsight would probably have been a worse move) and told my boss about it and that I wasn't happy with current workload and pressures. He obviously told the chief and I got pulled into his office. Got a pay rise and more staff to support me but we are a big company and not everyone can do that.

It's a cliche but this thread is all about talking about it. You'll not change anything by keeping it to yourself and not sleeping at night. Everyone makes mistakes so I would assume there is more to it than just that mistake.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Eamonnca1 on January 07, 2019, 08:34:43 PM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

My work situation has been getting me down for the best part of a year. I've done something about it and I'm starting at a different company on Monday, a company that's making a bit of money and offers better career prospects, plus a shorter commute.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on January 07, 2019, 08:51:49 PM
Work to live......not live to work. Life's too short.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: RedHand88 on January 08, 2019, 08:58:04 AM
Work to live......not live to work. Life's too short.

This.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Walter Cronc on January 08, 2019, 09:04:59 AM
Cheers for the responses guys.

I think a major reason has been working overseas, away from family for this best part of 3-4 years now.

Have began to take steps to move home (purchased a house) with the aim of moving back in 2020.

Having a goal/aim is certainly beneficial.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on January 08, 2019, 09:39:36 AM
Cheers for the responses guys.

I think a major reason has been working overseas, away from family for this best part of 3-4 years now.

Have began to take steps to move home (purchased a house) with the aim of moving back in 2020.

Having a goal/aim is certainly beneficial.

I honestly don't think I could work away from home. I've done it a few times for no more than a week and I struggled badly.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Walter Cronc on January 08, 2019, 09:50:32 AM
Cheers for the responses guys.

I think a major reason has been working overseas, away from family for this best part of 3-4 years now.

Have began to take steps to move home (purchased a house) with the aim of moving back in 2020.

Having a goal/aim is certainly beneficial.

I honestly don't think I could work away from home. I've done it a few times for no more than a week and I struggled badly.



I've no kids PJ, just the girlfriend so a lot of fellas are having a tougher struggle than myself.

Fair played to any man who has a young family and can do it.

Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Mayo4Sam on January 08, 2019, 10:51:37 AM
Anyone ever have issues with work getting you down?

The past 6 months have been a bit of a struggle - worrying about what if's/lack of sleep etc.

It all came from a problem I had with a job (work in construction) and confidence has suffered as a result.

Thinking of a job change/work for myself as I feel overstretched in consultancy role.

Walter thereís plenty of construction jobs at home now. A real shortage, you could nearly name your price. Specifically thereís a ball of work in Abbvie in Sligo, itís the plant on the Bundoran road so might be suitable for Derry if you wanted to be at home. Alternatively itís impossible to get trades or engineers in Dublin. If you want to drop me a DM I could put you in touch with people
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Walter Cronc on January 08, 2019, 11:09:09 AM
Cheers M4S. I have made contact with a few firms in Belfast and Dublin.

Willing to do another year away and it suits the other half and her work.

Thanks again lads!
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: seafoid on January 08, 2019, 02:09:36 PM


Shane Carthy: ĎI was two years wearing that mask, but internally I was crumblingí

Dublin footballer on the challenges of tackling his mental health issues


about 8 hours ago



Ian O'Riordan
 


0

 
Shane Carty in actin during last yearís OíByrne Cup. ďIím absolutely touched by all the messages and well wishes, and more importantly to hear of someone who has gone out and sought help now.Ē Photograph: Bryan Keane/Inpho    
Shane Carty in actin during last yearís OíByrne Cup. ďIím absolutely touched by all the messages and well wishes, and more importantly to hear of someone who has gone out and sought help now.Ē Photograph: Bryan Keane/Inpho










































 

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https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/gaelic-games/shane-carthy-i-was-two-years-wearing-that-mask-but-internally-i-was-crumbling-1.3750462

The last thing Shane Carthy wants or expects right now is to walk back on to the Dublin panel.

Not with his utterly changed perspective on life and football and everything else in between. Or indeed his heightened sense of what exactly constitutes success.

What he does want, and expects of himself, is to give it his best shot, and whether thatís good enough time will tell.

In the meantime the telling of his story, his crippling and at times terrifying experience with depression in the aftermath of Dublinís All-Ireland winning success of 2013, to breaking point a year later, aged only 19 and the rising star of the county under-21 team, has been proving both therapeutic and rewarding.

It has been the latter in helping him realise how fortunate heís been to come through it all, including the good and bad days with Dublin football.

Six days before Christmas, in a lengthy online blog, Carthy wrote frankly and eloquently about his journey over the last four and a half years.

It detailed, without overdramatising, the downward spiral which, days after producing a man-of-the-match display in Dublinís 2014 Leinster under-21 final win over Meath, saw him wake up in St Patrickís Mental Hospital.

Only then did he begin to face up to ďthe inner demons I had kept away from for many yearsĒ.

Under the very deliberate headline ĎIím No Longer Surviving, Iím Living!í, Carthy also explains what ultimately brought him back to where he is now, just turned 24 and more determined to ever to revive his football career with Dublin.

ďThe first intention with the blog was to busy myself, to give something back to myself, positively, and maybe further afield in the sporting community,Ē says Carthy, who in November completed a Sports Science degree in DCU, and is currently on a year out.

ďIíd already done some talks on mental health and depression in schools and clubs, but theyíre limited to those present, whereas with the blog people could read and maybe relate to it at any time.

Sought help

ďIt completely surpassed that, in terms of what I expected, the scale of the response and reaction I really canít believe. And in such a good way.

ďIím absolutely touched by all the messages and well wishes, and more importantly to hear of someone who has gone out and sought help now, on the back of it, or just something that might have resonated from the blog. I also wanted people to know thereís lot of people out there that depression touches.Ē

Carthy will, along with distance runner Kevin Dooney and ironman triathlete Gerard Prendergast. also be part of a three-person panel discussion this Saturday as part of the First Fortnight festival, the charity organisation aimed at challenging mental health prejudice through the creative arts and spoken word.

Carthy will further outline some of the mental health issues specific to sport, especially for any athlete or player seemingly at the top of the game, which for the male in particular can sometimes be more difficult to face up to.

From the outside, Carthy had it all in 2014.

Playing with Naomh Mearnůg club, in north Dublin, already an All-Ireland minor winner with Dublin, in 2012, he was called into Jim Gavinís senior panel in 2013 and that year playing scintillating football for the Dublinís U-21s at centre forward.

The team that featured Jack McCaffrey, Brian Fenton, Paul Mannion, John Small, Cormac Costello, amongst others, went on to win that 2014 All-Ireland U-21 title in his absence.

ďI was two years wearing that mask, but internally I was crumbling, ďhe says. ďFootball was the only thing covering it up, as long as I was training, playing.

ďAnd it relates to where Iím at right now, because for the last few years, Iíve been in and out of Dublin championship panels, and that in itself can be a huge low.

But because Iím educated now in how my minds works, and the emotions naturally attached to this, Iím able to control it, whereas before, I didnít know how to handle those emotions, couldnít handle them.

ďIt became an ever worsening situation, whereas now I know how to put a positive spin on it, something I can deal with. It was hard to accept that at the time, when the lows were very low, but Iíve come out the other side now, better and stronger for it. From sporting, academic, and personal points of view.Ē

Difficult moments

He no longer fears the highs or the lows, as long as he feels he can control them. Carthy was invited back onto the Dublin panel in early 2018, featuring in four league games, only be to be dropped again for summer. Instead of letting that get him down, he spent what he felt was an overdue summer in America, playing football for a club in San Francisco, and that gave his fresh perspective again.

 ďI was involved again for the 2018 league, and again let go, and these are difficult moments for everyone. Football has given me so much, and Iím thankful for that, and playing football in the US last summer was a great experience. That negative turned positive straightaway.

And football definitely is still a big motivation for me, I always strive to be the best I can be, whether I get back there or not, Iíll never stop. This year it may have to be at club level, but I want Jim Gavin to know that if or when that call might come, Iíll be ready, and Iím staying ready.


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ďI enjoy the training, and that motivation to get back involved is a part of it as well, to be a part of the huge success the lads have had over the last number of years. But thatís not the sole focus of why I do it. Itís the feeling as well of accomplishing something at training. Everyone can relate to that.

ďFrom a physical standpoint, Iím absolutely on top of that, and for this time of year, January, Iím training as hard as I can, Iíve a huge goal to make it back into Jimís plans. Iím doing everything I can, but outside of football as well, just going to the Phoenix Park for a run or a cycle, because exercise in general has been huge in my recovery, and still is.Ē

And after surviving, he says, the critical part now is to focus on the living again. ďAnd I was just surviving, by the skin of my teeth actually, and wasnít living. Only now after Iíve got the help I needed do I feel like Iím living again, and thatís why I feel Iím in a good position to impact people.

ďThere is also that sense Ďif I knew then what I know nowí. And Iím still seeing a psychologist, spaced out now to about once a month, and thatís the path weíre taking, to be the more independent, make it my own recovery. Iím not putting any pressure on myself either.

ďIt could take six months, or six years, but eventually I will get that independence back, to go on, and there will be things in the way, because thatís life. But I want to strive for excellence in mental health as well. It may not be 100 per cent every day, but I wonít stop striving for it.Ē

Shane Carthyís blog can be read here Ė

https://scarthyblog.home.blog/2018/12/19/im-no-longer-surviving-im-living/
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on March 14, 2019, 04:57:52 PM
The last few months have been a struggle for myself. Lost a very close friend to the Big C and its hit harder than I thought I would and a friend lost his father to suicide last weekend.

Thankfully there has been brighter days and after a few heavy sessions of chatting and talking later the spirits have lifted.

I always like to give this thread a bump and keep it going.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on March 14, 2019, 05:05:21 PM
The last few months have been a struggle for myself. Lost a very close friend to the Big C and its hit harder than I thought I would and a friend lost his father to suicide last weekend.

Thankfully there has been brighter days and after a few heavy sessions of chatting and talking later the spirits have lifted.

I always like to give this thread a bump and keep it going.

Good man PJ. Itís great that you are talking to others.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: tbrick18 on March 15, 2019, 11:11:45 AM
There's no words more true than "your health is your wealth".
If something in your life is having a detrimental effect on your health, then try to change what ever that is.
Should it be job, friends, being away from home....at the end of it all the only thing that really matters is health and family.
Everything else is just fluff around the edges to make you "feel" like you've achieved something or that you are living more comfortably. That's just an illusion if it effects your health.
In the past I've been guilty of working long hours or away from home to further my career or earn more money.
Some life events gave me a different outlook, now I priortise family first. No matter what.
I recently changed jobs and at the interview stage actually said, for me family would be first and if they had an issue with that not to offer me the job. They offered me the job and I've worked around family needs ever since. It was the best thing I ever said at an interview and my life is so much better for it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, look at your priorities in life and see what's really important and decide what would de-stress you as much as possible. The money and status is not worth the stress and possible mental health problems that it can cost.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: BarryBreensBandage on May 19, 2019, 11:47:10 PM
Very good show on BBC atm about mental health. With premier league footballers and Prince William. Should be on iplayer if missed tonight.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on June 10, 2019, 03:45:02 PM
Giving this a bump folks. The demons have hit with a big bang over the last 5 weeks. Sudden death of my mother has left me reeling.

My world is in absolute bits but I'll get there.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: JohnDenver on June 10, 2019, 03:51:55 PM
Giving this a bump folks. The demons have hit with a big bang over the last 5 weeks. Sudden death of my mother has left me reeling.

My world is in absolute bits but I'll get there.

Sorry for your loss, PJ. There's no timeframe on these types of things as you well know, but the fact you have said and you know what i've highlighted in bold is a massive thing.

Things will get better, so just stick in there and take it one step at a time and do whatever, or speak to whoever that will you get through these dark days.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: Insane Bolt on June 10, 2019, 04:26:15 PM
Giving this a bump folks. The demons have hit with a big bang over the last 5 weeks. Sudden death of my mother has left me reeling.

My world is in absolute bits but I'll get there.

Sorry for your loss. Thereís no easy fix coping with sudden death of a loved one. In my own experiences I found comfort in being surrounded by family and talking openly about my feelings. My kids gave me great comfort at the time as they depended on me. Grief is a process and it takes time.....but keep talking and as you say you will get there.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: paddyjohn on September 05, 2019, 07:58:40 AM
Another bump folks. Keep talking and donít be scared to talk.

No problem is to big that canít be fixed.
Title: Re: Depression
Post by: tbrick18 on September 06, 2019, 10:39:27 AM
Another bump folks. Keep talking and donít be scared to talk.

No problem is to big that canít be fixed.

I'd echo that 100%. Sorry for your loss PJ. Feeling low after something like that is to be expected and don't beat yourself up over it.
Keep talking and keep the head up.

Mrs Tbrick18 had some serious issues a few years back with post-natal depression. Really in the depths of despair, resulting in a prolonged hospital stay getting some quite extreme treatment. She had suicidal thoughts and had come close on a number of occasions, and I'll be honest, it affected my state of health too. I couldn't see her ever coming out of it.

However, its 10 years roughly now since then and she has not only survived but is no longer even on medication.
It has left its scars on the both of us, but if she can come through what she came through then it should give hope to anyone struggling on here that better days are ahead. Just persevere and exist until the cloud eventually slowly lifts.