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Topics - Orior

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General discussion / Boring
« on: September 30, 2019, 04:27:13 PM »
Has this General Board gotten all boring since some of the Characters no longer post?

General discussion / GB Car Stickers
« on: September 04, 2019, 09:44:22 AM »
For the posters living in the occupied six...

General discussion / Ideas for the next big Reality TV show
« on: July 29, 2019, 06:04:04 PM »
How about a show with 10 men and 10 women all in their seventies, living together in a hot climate, sleeping together in one big dormitory. The contestants face daily challenges, and the winning couple get a viagra pill and lubricant.

General discussion / Things I do not understand
« on: May 29, 2019, 11:30:52 AM »
1) How does the wind rushing over and under wings make a plane fly?

2) How does a mobile phone still work perfectly when on the move?

3) How does the sun's light travel though the vacuum of space?

General discussion / Sport on Sunday
« on: February 24, 2019, 08:22:09 AM »
1. Armagh v Tipp
2. Ireland v Italy
3. Celtic v Motherwell
4. Man Ure v Liverpool
5. McIlroy with an outside chance

Should pass the day rightly

General discussion / The Pimp Your Pornography Thread
« on: January 06, 2019, 11:54:56 PM »
I'll start...

Sexy Porn

General discussion / Ruth Dudley Edwards: a brain to be reckoned with
« on: January 03, 2019, 09:38:27 AM »
Great piece by Jude Collins

Now that Stephen Hawking has left us, the hunt is on for an intellect of comparable size to shine its light and lead the rest of us dullards through the minefield of Life. You may say “There’s only one Stephen Hawking” and you’d be right. But be of good cheer. His successor in the brain cells department is obvious and, best of all, one of our own. I’m referring, of course, to Ruth Dudley Edwards.

As far back as the 1960s at UCD,  Ruth was known for the size of her brain. The Derry boys, who used to cluster around a radiator by the main door, would gasp when Ruth made an entrance. “Would you look at the size of that!” they would whisper to each other in awe, as Ruth make her way across the black-and-white tiles to a lecture hall.

Further evidence of the size and attractive shape of Ruth’s brain was provided by her choice of subject (History) and choice of parent (her father was Professor of – yes indeed, Virginia – History). She also used her enormous brain to attach herself to another student of History called Paddy Cosgrave, who resembled a more youthful Mr Burns from the yet-to-be-created Simpsons but who had a brain, some claimed, even bigger than Ruth’s. A year after Ruth’s graduation,  they married and the pooling of brain power was made permanent. Well, sort of.

They moved to England, where Paddy (now ‘Patrick’) became well-known for his right-wing views and in particular for his admiration of a woman called Margaret Thatcher. He was so impressed by her (no, I don’t know if Thatcher had a bigger brain than Ruth or Paddy, Virginia – probably not) that he wrote a reverential biography of her which unkind critics declared a hagiography. Thatcher seemed to take a shine to the man formerly known as Paddy, and  he was tipped to be given a safe Conservative seat in Parliament and even a place in a future Thatcher cabinet. But alas, Paddy took to the drink and, Private Eye alleged, ended his political career in spectacular fashion when, emerging from a taxi containing the Iron Lady, he vomited over her lap. Sic transit gloria Paddy.

But that’s getting away from our subject. Ruth went to Oxbridge and later wrote all sorts of history books, including one showing how unbalanced a creature P H Pearse really was and another what a fine institution the Orange Order really was.

With age Ruth’s brain has, if anything, expanded. To the best of my knowledge she has lived her life in England, but that hasn’t prevented her using her magnificent organ to explain the Irish situation to the Irish people. Her glittering grey cells transform complicated and many-stranded issues to an elegant simplicity : if it’s republican it’s bloodthirsty and bad, if it’s British / unionist it’s law-abiding and good. That’s a truly mammoth brain at work.

It can surely only be a matter of time  – perhaps before the end of this coming year – before Her Majesty rewards Ruth’s oversize organ with a peerage, or President Higgins places the gold torc around her unique neck and welcomes her to the ranks of Aosdána. There is no truth to the rumour that the torc would have to be expanded first to fit over her head.

General discussion / Work Christmas Dinners
« on: December 13, 2018, 11:22:23 AM »
I've a couple of Christmas dinners to go to this year. Here's my tips:

1) this is not the occasion to have a go at the boss because you didn't get a pay rise
2) this is not the occasion to have a go at the boss because you don't agree with strategy
3) this is not the occasion to have a go at the colleague who winds you up all the time
4) if you're going try your luck with Julie from accounts, then make sure she feels the same
5) if the old lady from payroll makes a pass at you then politely decline
6) if the young lad from marketing makes a pass at you then tell him you are already spoken for
7) remember you still have to work with everyone the next day

General discussion / GDPR
« on: May 23, 2018, 11:36:05 AM »
Right so GAA Board, what are yis storing about me?

What are yis planning with my details? Is it world domination?

Have you forgotten Tony Fearon? Who?

General discussion / Commonwealth Games
« on: April 05, 2018, 01:44:21 PM »
England have won six gold medals on Day One.

This means that, of all the countries which England invaded as part of their empire building project, none of them can run or swim as quick as the english. Hurrah!

GAA Discussion / Great Players who were mostly Injured
« on: March 16, 2018, 09:46:09 AM »
Name any great players that failed to reach or maintain stardom because of their propensity to get injured?

General discussion / GAA Board Poster of the Year 2017
« on: December 17, 2017, 11:21:20 PM »
Categories in the GAA Board Poster of the Year 2017 (sponsored by Titcoin) are:
1) Most argumentative
2) Most boring
3) Most caring
4) Most pain in the bottox
5) Most sensible
6) Most knowledgeable
7) Most funny

Posters can only be nominated for one category. Winners will be announced on 1st January 2018, and will be invited to headquarters to receive generous monetary prizes.

General discussion / Terrorist Glorification versus Honouring Fallen Heroes
« on: November 22, 2017, 08:13:55 PM »
At the Sinn Fein party conference last week, there was the expected praise for Martin McGuinness.

Yet unionists are upset, that nationalists should honour their dead.

wee link

A couple of weeks ago, the whole country had to stop whilst unionists honoured their fallen heroes. Some people are even shamed into buying poppies.

Is this not the biggest of double standards?

General discussion / Gender Neutral
« on: October 24, 2017, 09:24:00 PM »
I see that Paloma Faith is raising her child as gender neutral.

Any GAABoarders raising their children as gender neutral?

Any GAABoarders wish they had been raised as gender neutral?

Any GAABoard posters that you wish had been raised as gender neutral?

General discussion / Orange Order Museum in Belfast and Loughgall
« on: October 18, 2017, 10:25:46 PM »
Does anyone know if there is an native Irish equivalent (equal and opposite) to the Orange Order museum?

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