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Why have most of the Armagh teams pulled out of the Ulster league? i thought it would be better than pre-season. Spirit you need to have a word with that fella of yours, whats he playing at buying rings and all that shit!!

what teams have pulled out? I've only heard that Silverbridge has pulled out. Have these teams been replaced by any other clubs?

Last page back lads have said Silverbridge, St Micks and the Ogs have pulled the pin.

I'm not sure where the match is on Sunday but Kildare usually play in Newbridge

Why have most of the Armagh teams pulled out of the Ulster league? i thought it would be better than pre-season. Spirit you need to have a word with that fella of yours, whats he playing at buying rings and all that shit!!

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said,
"Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old
bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to
tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a
bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."
"As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at
the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he
couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."
"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead." "Now, what do
you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres that were aired on British TV

& Radio



1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from

Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"



2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl

Gibson comes inside of him."



3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely

horse. I once rode her mother."



4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't

that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the

Oxford crew."



5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is

playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his

balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"



6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team

Live' said:  "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."



7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have

snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's

that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to

leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so

hard!



8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better

today after a 69 yesterday."



9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like

this."



10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen

Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."



11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male

astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: They

seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in

his shorts."



12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny

Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to

use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Watched it from the sofa as well, thought they done well considering Donegal had a much stronger team. If I'm totally honest i thought Donegal would have beat us by a lot more but fair play to them lads when you think that Enda can't kick was the only recognised first teamer. Young Toal stood out the most. That was bound to be demoralising for Donegal even though they won when they couldn't beat that team by 8 points or more

Has the phone lines been cut in South Armagh, thats the quietest yous lads have been this long time! Hey pint i thought you'd be gettin all excited now that the Bridge will be starting the season soon.

What clubs are playing in that Ulster league? and who plays who (Armagh teams)

Hi shady who the F**k rattled your cage you c**k box, sorry if i interrupted your conversations about what its like to win a championship match. Stick your Antrim thread up your arse

Hi lads Slimshady was on our site (Armagh club football) talking shite, i see he's doing the same on the Antrim one. 

Thats the stuff lads, take the middle out of each other the craic's 90. Most people on the board know what clubs the lads represent and in a lot of cases who each other are with the exception of a few c**k boxes from other counties so nobody needs to identify themselves to a few melters

Did yous see that new advertisement about the two breeds going in to a South Armagh pub and everyone stops in their tracks like out of the film "An American warewolf in Britain" then the barman says "its tradition in South Armagh that new folk buys everyone a drink" then everyone goes about their business. Whats that all about? and what are they trying to say that South Armagh people are tight fisted tinkers, some promotion that?

JP's new bar in Lurgan, has just been bought over and renovated. The pints of harp are belter 

Hi Charlie c**k Box wind your neck in you t**ker

Most of yous lads may hope all these stories are true as it would be extremely hard for the lad to walk back down to the Harps and start training or playing as if nothing had happened, and if it is true I'm sure something was done to him to warrant his actions as that is a very big thing to do (transfer to your nearest and dearest).
Anyway on another issue what are your definitions of a hard man?

Right all you's Harp's men spill the beans, what happened to JP that it was bad enough for him to transfer to your nearest and dearest?

Hey lads wasn't it great to get a county match back in Davitt Park the only problem is the south Armagh lads don't like playing on it, can't imagine why? Maybe its because of the travelling or that they very seldom win a match on it

You are one knob

Thats a bit strong full back, can't you take a joke you melter or maybe you are sick of loosing on our pitch as well

Any more of that and you'll need your face stitched up , sorry couldn't resist that you left yourself open

Oh Sorry illdecide-didnt realise it was a joke
Will be back later-have to go get my sides stitched up