Messages

I hope it is Sue Barker. That bitch knocked my ice cream out of my hand at Queens one day and just walked on.

Has anyone seen The Modern Family. It's set in America and it's about a man and a woman with 3 dysfunctional children. The father is an estate agent. The mother has a gay brother who has a gay husband. Her da is an old man but is married to an attractive latino girl. They get into some hilarious escapades. It's on Sky regularly and has millions of episodes.

Whoever invented elasticity in clothes should be awarded the Nobel Prize for Science even if he or she is dead.

The last thing I expected to rise in cost was underwear. I was in Tesco the other day and 5 pairs of pants were £20 and it's not the ones with the buttons on the front too. It's the ones you've to pull right down when standing up.

That teamsheet is making me mad for a supermacs

My da has us all out pishing on the grass with sheets around us for privacy.

Sligo by 8
Fermanagh by 6

Derry by 6
Mayo by 9

Earrings

Jesus was skinny. As was Mother Teresa after she turned 60.

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Speak for yourself

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As they say in the simpsons, were you expecting to seduce me mr Burns.