Messages

Any good ones out there? (not made up)

Personally reckon "The Dogs Bollix" complete with various sets of dogs gonads (plastic) on the wall is, er, the dogs bollix.

"Muddy Farmer"

"Bog" (with resident 2 man traditional band "Dodgy and the Bastard" ....did'nt seem fair to ask which one was the bastard)

"Father Teds"

Bible bashers - esp Americans picketing their own dead soldiers funerals or pontificating about divorce/gays/sex/beer/gambling/bigamy/ etc... to disguise the fact they have some grubby little secret from their past

sick bastards with diarrhoea using the cubicle next door to you when theres 20 other free ones - noboby else wants nor needs to hear your disease riddled guts spit their poison.

The dating pop up on this board that makes it look like you're on, well, a dating site.

street preachers telling us the world is ending - off course it will, whenever the sun gets big enough,........... so  until such times, pish away off and do something useful with your time

Know a few bars in the states running a "Murder Pool" - $50 a head (so to speak)  closest man to the total for that year scoops the lot - but there are rules - any bodies found outside the city limits are defunct, similiarly any bodies found dumped inside the limits but the person is from another town or state does'nt count - basically those murdered must be from that particular city and their bodies found there.

Which makes me wonder if there is say $5000 up for grabs and the tally is close between a few loopers, would they be tempted to up the tally themselves?

There is no such thing as bad soup, no matter what the mixture is its all good.

But theres something very special about veg soup made from the turkey bones at christmas,  could live on the stuff.

Actually i would be a lot healthier i'm sure if i did

[From the BBC Website:]

From the BBC Website:

Paisley Jr fished with developer
The DUP's Ian Paisley Junior has confirmed he went lobster fishing with the private developer Seymour Sweeney.
Mr Sweeney's bid to develop a visitor centre at the Giant's Causeway has stirred controversy.

Now if there was a brown envelope found trapped in Ian Ogs lobster pot, he could have a promising career in politics down here.

Don't know about his lobster pot but theres a fair pile of brown round his cake hole

baghdad?

Don't forget you are dealing with the pissw*nk who brought a tape recording of "the queen" into his graduation ceremony 10 odd years ago and stood up alone in full regalia singing his little bigotted heart out like the diamond studded asswipe he is.

Wonder is there any chance of these bible thrashing tits buggering off to Utah?

Feck off fishbat - thats too close to me for comfort.

I hear ye..............would Kansas do?

[poking around pus, wart and boil infested nether regions does'nt appeal to me]

Whats the big thrill in Gynaecology?  poking around pus, wart and boil infested nether regions does'nt appeal to me.

Professional mountaineer.................or failing that, a bikini waxer/fake tan rub-ber in-ner

Pardon the pun, but I think you are splitting hairs there.

Only If ye get the right client!

What about a pubic lice delouser in amsterdam?

Nah, Michael Palins cameraman would be the ticket

Don't forget you are dealing with the pissw*nk who brought a tape recording of "the queen" into his graduation ceremony 10 odd years ago and stood up alone in full regalia singing his little bigotted heart out like the diamond studded asswipe he is.

Wonder is there any chance of these bible thrashing tits buggering off to Utah?

Whats the big thrill in Gynaecology?  poking around pus, wart and boil infested nether regions does'nt appeal to me.

Professional mountaineer.................or failing that, a bikini waxer/fake tan rub-ber in-ner

What about the aussie rules club on darlinghurst road/the cross, the screen in there is huge

"Who? him or the rat?"

He was under the tree later that night half dead i'd say!  come to think of it, the reason that rat was in such good shape was it had been gorging itself on dog food - some sheen of its coat, it would have been edible if you were stuck.

"2) shoveling spuds into the picking machine. My memory is of finding many spuds which had been have eaten by rats, and having to disregard them"

Good god man are ye mad? - those spuds go to Belfast..., along with the wasp nibbled strawberries, casualty lamb and shot Icebergs

For the country folk

Anyone here ever sort spuds?  always great craic shovelling spuds into the sorter and having an avalanche of mice falling down round your feet, then the battering begins,....usually killed more spuds than mice though.

Or getting down to the last bale of hay and 20 mice hiding behind it - pure turkey shoot.

My next door neighbour shot a rat in our back lawn - he got the rat alright but also took out 4 panes in the greenhouse then blamed it on the grandkids cloddin stones!....despite the fact a shotgun is fairly loud, pellet holes in glass and a splattered rat on the lawn, he stuck to the story.....and fair play, say nothin and you're out in 24 hrs.

also have a friend who had a rat problem at christmas one year, ended up dead under his christmas tree on christmas morning, nice and plump and black as the ace of spades, trap was set on the window sill but the bastard somehow ended up under the tree across the room........santy's getting to be a quare miserable aul bollix these days

The whole truth may never be known - even if they did it and are found guilty in a court of law, it'll be denied til the grave.

How many of these rumours are actually true? like the hair in the boot etc...  you would think their every move would have been monitored after reporting a missing child

God save Ireland   Now lets get a few things clear!

Bag -  having pockets full of stuff and other items round your neck, camera etc... plus a handful of curleys bags.....so as not to "look stupid" is feckin stupid - Even jungle dwellers know the practicality of a bag versus pockets - especially when trampin about with a dozen poison arrows

Bag with wheels at airport -or- carting a boggin O'Neills bag around an airport over your shoulder - fairly obvious.

Nothing wrong with pointy shoes/cowboy boots - only in Kazakstan are the brown brogues acceptable in 2007.

Hair - masai warriors have been dying their hair for millenia.  Are punks considered metros? Long hair has been around a lot longer than the short back and sides/boul cut/NFTAB (no fringe, tuft at back) etc...

Denim - all forms acceptable - not just blue with cow-shit stains.

Washing - should be made law, have sat beside too many bastards with onions rolling down their brow.




Whatever yanks your plank