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#1622
General discussion / Re: An odd request
October 16, 2007, 03:58:16 PM
Now I am rightly fucked. Ok new request. Was anyone in Zanzibar pub Dublin (real not Cyber Space Pub) friday the 24th Of October or Friday the 31st of October 1997.In the haze I figure there was a bank holiday involved. I need to know was I there cause the girl i shifted that night is my girlfriend and it will be 10 years soon and she is damn sure going to know. I have been told that I resemble Daniel Craig. (by my mam)
#1623
General discussion / An odd request
October 16, 2007, 03:00:50 PM
I have googled it endlessly and have no joy, does anyone know how I would find out if the 3rd of November 1997 was a bank holiday in the Republic?
#1624
General discussion / Re: Anyone knw much about VW Passats?
October 03, 2007, 03:23:11 PM
I was told by a road safety expert, best place for a baby in a rear facing seat is directly behind the driver. Not beside the driver even with the airbag turned off. Something to do with driver reaction in the event of a crash, you tend to turn away to avoid injury to yourself. Aslo the distraction of the baby next to the driver is similiar to that of the radio/mobile phone it takes your eyes off the road. Baby in the back behind the driver facing the other way, nothing to distract you.
#1625
General discussion / Re: The Horse racing thread
August 31, 2007, 03:22:13 PM
Mac
Unless you know an owner, nothing else is a tip. We had a dog for a while and we felt like the mafia, the dog was on this stuff to give him a start, that dog was on this to keep him to last to the line, the dog would be stopped. Do reverse forecast for the laugh and just sit back and enjoy a few pints.
Unless you know an owner, nothing else is a tip. We had a dog for a while and we felt like the mafia, the dog was on this stuff to give him a start, that dog was on this to keep him to last to the line, the dog would be stopped. Do reverse forecast for the laugh and just sit back and enjoy a few pints.
#1626
General discussion / Re: The Horse racing thread
August 31, 2007, 02:32:08 PM
Greyhound racing has got to be one of the most corrupt sports around. A friend of mine had two dogs stopped on Monday night, they both won! He was disgusted that the othere trainers had their dogs stopped better than his two!
#1627
General discussion / Re: Holidays
August 09, 2007, 10:28:06 AM
Zel Am Zee - Austria. Great craic Great skiiing for all levels
#1628
General discussion / Re: The Horse racing thread
July 20, 2007, 08:08:08 PM
Bud
Time for the Glue factory
Time for the Glue factory
#1629
General discussion / Re: Harry Potter
July 16, 2007, 01:35:44 PMQuote from: Billys Boots on July 16, 2007, 11:33:53 AM
Probably heading to it tomorrow night with the kids - they love both books and films, and they're great for their imaginations.
Boots Junior "Dad, we are going to win a Leinster soon aren't we"
BB "Sure son any day now"
#1630
General discussion / Re: Corny One for Friday
July 10, 2007, 08:28:57 AM
Divorce Letter
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Connie,
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait
anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me
talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact.
In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that.
But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.
Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says:
"There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're
not you. They're not even close.
Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me.I don't say this to hurt you, but
just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies
that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body.
Tits like you wouldn't believe, and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on
the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's
all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean?
Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a
better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it.
And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so
drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something
else.Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?
And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean?
Nothing feels the same without you.Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just
reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a
woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.
Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom.
And this tart's a total monster in the sack.
She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not Hung up about her weight or
her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your
grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves.
And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the
mirror on the floor?
We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."
Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but
she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.
She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general.She's pulling for us to get back
together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier
times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked
like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.
And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing. That gets me to thinking about how many times
I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us.
But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do
is think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it.Don't you think we could start over?
Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.
If you feel the same please, please , please let me know.
Otherwise, can you let me know where the ****ing remote is?
Love,
Dan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Connie,
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait
anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me
talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact.
In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that.
But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.
Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says:
"There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're
not you. They're not even close.
Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me.I don't say this to hurt you, but
just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies
that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body.
Tits like you wouldn't believe, and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on
the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's
all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean?
Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a
better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it.
And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so
drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something
else.Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?
And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean?
Nothing feels the same without you.Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just
reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a
woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.
Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom.
And this tart's a total monster in the sack.
She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not Hung up about her weight or
her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your
grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves.
And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the
mirror on the floor?
We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."
Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but
she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.
She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general.She's pulling for us to get back
together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier
times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked
like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.
And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing. That gets me to thinking about how many times
I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us.
But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do
is think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it.Don't you think we could start over?
Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.
If you feel the same please, please , please let me know.
Otherwise, can you let me know where the ****ing remote is?
Love,
Dan
#1631
General discussion / Re: Corny One for Friday
July 02, 2007, 08:32:13 AM
The Fish
A priest hooks a huge fish. Helping him reel it in, a sailor says
"Whoa, look at the size of that f*cker!"
"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.
Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father,but
that's what this fish is called - it's a F*cker fish"
Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the
fish back to church.
Look at this huge f*cker" says the priest, spotting the bishop.
"Language, please! this is God's house," replies the bishop.
"No, no - that's what this fish is called, " says the priest.
"Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that f*cker
And we could have it for dinner".
So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother
superior.
"Could you cook this f*cker for dinner tonight?" he asks her.
"My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked.
"No, sister that's what the fish is called - a f*cker, " says the bishop.
Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, "wonderful,
I'll cook that f*cker tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!"
The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.
"Well, I caught the f*cker!" says the priest.
"And I cleaned the f*cker!" says the bishop.
"And I cooked the f*cker!" says the mother superior.
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans back On
his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, Pours himself a
whiskey and says " You know what?, You c*nts are alright !! "
A priest hooks a huge fish. Helping him reel it in, a sailor says
"Whoa, look at the size of that f*cker!"
"Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.
Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father,but
that's what this fish is called - it's a F*cker fish"
Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the
fish back to church.
Look at this huge f*cker" says the priest, spotting the bishop.
"Language, please! this is God's house," replies the bishop.
"No, no - that's what this fish is called, " says the priest.
"Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that f*cker
And we could have it for dinner".
So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother
superior.
"Could you cook this f*cker for dinner tonight?" he asks her.
"My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked.
"No, sister that's what the fish is called - a f*cker, " says the bishop.
Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, "wonderful,
I'll cook that f*cker tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!"
The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.
"Well, I caught the f*cker!" says the priest.
"And I cleaned the f*cker!" says the bishop.
"And I cooked the f*cker!" says the mother superior.
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans back On
his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, Pours himself a
whiskey and says " You know what?, You c*nts are alright !! "
#1632
General discussion / Re: The Horse racing thread
June 22, 2007, 04:20:47 PM
john mcgill
Jr. Member
Posts: 99
Re: The Horse racing thread
« Reply #215 on: June 19, 2007, 10:51:08 AM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ascot for the Coronation, Indian Ink. came from the owner who was trying on his tops and tails the same time as a friend of mine. Big odds so each way.
Well done son backed him at 20's Between you and Benny its been a great week!
Jr. Member
Posts: 99
Re: The Horse racing thread
« Reply #215 on: June 19, 2007, 10:51:08 AM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ascot for the Coronation, Indian Ink. came from the owner who was trying on his tops and tails the same time as a friend of mine. Big odds so each way.
Well done son backed him at 20's Between you and Benny its been a great week!
#1633
GAA Discussion / Re: GAA Betting Issue - Who was in the right?
June 21, 2007, 03:48:23 PM
In view of the fact the checked the price at HO, the know who you are, they know who you work for, they know they fucked up and you took advantage of it, and they are saying f**k You!
#1634
General discussion / Re: The Horse racing thread
June 20, 2007, 09:52:17 PM
Benny just got home, logged on to PP, account balance looked wrong, f**k me but thats a great little win.
#1635
General discussion / Re: Feet
June 19, 2007, 02:15:04 PM
Pints
Go to the Doctor. I had something the same. Thought it was Aths Foot, and still play indoor soccer, so toes were getting kicked all the time. Eventually the nephew spotted them and said "you have that thing off the Telly" there is an ad running the last year about it. True enough went to my Doc and had to get a slow release antibiotic for six months at 75 yoyos a month. If i hadnt the thing would have spread.
Go to the Doctor. I had something the same. Thought it was Aths Foot, and still play indoor soccer, so toes were getting kicked all the time. Eventually the nephew spotted them and said "you have that thing off the Telly" there is an ad running the last year about it. True enough went to my Doc and had to get a slow release antibiotic for six months at 75 yoyos a month. If i hadnt the thing would have spread.