Topics

Anyone watching this crap?

Oh and they are singing the sash 

A Londonderry consultant has said he is ready to take legal action against patients who verbally abuse his staff.
Alan McKinney says over the holidays staff in Altnagelvin's A&E unit were subjected to "unacceptable abuse".

"We've been saying throughout the year that zero tolerance isn't just a message on the wall but that it means something," he said.

"And now we will be examining all of these incidents and deciding what course of action to take."

I was in A and E in the City Hospital one Saturday night and the abuse that was being handed out to the staff was was terrible, drunken feckers with busted hands and faces terrorising the staff and the other patients, they wernt worried that there was pressing emergencies to deal with, just "sort me out yous bastards or I am gonna kill the lot of you" grabbing nurses and doctors trying to get them treated first. it was a frightening experience.

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?

Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
Spain.


FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the capital of France? - F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell

5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar

6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil

A famous Scotsman? - Jock

9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.

10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs

11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water

12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse

13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair

14) A famous Royal? - Mail

15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings

16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? Goes to the toilet
18] Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? Jam
28] A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something red? My sweater

Another tragic event.

one-year-old boy has died after being attacked by a pet rottweiler at his grandparents' home, police have said.
West Yorkshire Police said the baby was snatched from the arms of a seven-year-old girl in the yard of the house in Chald Lane, Wakefield.

He was taken to hospital with serious injuries but died on Friday evening.

The dog was shot at the scene by a police marksman. It was destroyed to ensure the safety of others at the address, a police spokesman said.

The boy's family are now receiving support from specially-trained officers, he said.

  Without any warning, the dog snatched the baby from the youngster's arms and carried him into the yard

Det Supt Steve Payne

Det Supt Steve Payne, from West Yorkshire Police, said the boy was staying with his grandparents during the Christmas holidays.

He said: "What we know at this time is that the dog was a family pet, a two-and-a-half year old female rottweiler, which the family had owned for about six months.

"Although the dog lived in the yard of the premises, it had interacted with members of the family including children, and another dog and cat at the house, and had shown no previous signs of any aggression."

Parents nearby

Mr Payne said the boy's aunt, aged 16, was caring for him and two girls, aged six and seven, in the house.

The 16-year-old girl was upstairs when the seven-year-old carried the baby outside to stroke the dog.

Mr Payne said: "Without any warning, the dog snatched the baby from the youngster's arms and carried him into the yard."

He said the 16-year-old tried to rescue the baby but was unable to do so, despite striking the dog.

Paramedics and police arrived within six minutes following an emergency call to police at 1530 GMT, he said.

The baby was taken to Pinderfields General Infirmary where he was pronounced dead.

The boy's parents were at a nearby property at the time.

A post-mortem examination is due to be carried out on Saturday.

The death follows the unlawful killing of five-year-old Ellie Lawrenson who was killed by her uncle's dog in St Helen's on New Year's Day 2007.

The illegal pit bull terrier called Reuben attacked Ellie at the home of her grandmother, Jackie Simpson, who was later found not guilty of manslaughter through gross negligence.

Ellie's uncle Kiel Simpson, 24, was jailed for eight weeks at Liverpool Magistrates' Court in May after admitting owning a dog banned under the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991.

Chris Window, from the Rottweiler Club, said it was very uncommon for attacks of this nature to take place.

But he said young children should never be left alone with any large breed of dog.

"All breeds of dogs are animals. They do revert to animal instincts. If a dog is confronted with a situation they are not used to, they can react unexpectedly."

[17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. 

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
 
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the lot:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.



any wordsmiths among us who can have a go?

Well at least one person:


Thursday, December 27, 2007

I'd like to thank the Belfast Telegraph for publishing letters from Tony Fearon of Poyntzpass.


His letters are a huge source of entertainment and have brightened my evenings with his blend of dislike of all things associated with the Northern Ireland football team.

His wee digs, such as referring to the Northern Ireland team as the North of Ireland team, are really quite pathetic. Indeed, his latest attempt (Write Back, December 15) at belittling our team's achievements is yet another example of his warped thinking and how he just cannot grasp that things have changed, both politically and on the sporting front, in our wee country in recent years.


Keep the letters rolling in next year Tony, if only to remind us of how your calendar is still stuck in the 1990s while the rest of us are looking forward to a successful World Cup 2010 campaign.


JEFF PARTRIDGE Ballywalter

Oh my God!!!!!!

The price of a pint of beer in Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK could rise by as much as 20% next year, industry insiders have said.
Spiralling manufacturing costs are being blamed for the anticipated hike.

Stephen Kelly from the Federation of Licensed Vintners said the necessary raw materials have "risen in value enormously in the past year".

"The grains and the metals for kegs have risen so much that it's going to have a knock-on effect," he said.


If it goes up by 20% then it will be £3.10 a pint (rounded down)

FRom the BBC

A visit to the Republic of Ireland by Queen Elizabeth II is inevitable, Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern has said.
Mr Ahern was speaking on RTE radio on Christmas Eve when he made the comment.

"I think she will come in the next few years, I'm not sure it will be 2008," he said. "I think that it is inevitable that she will come."

He said outstanding security issues in the NI peace process would be agreed next year, and an invitation to her would "probably be issued after that".

During the interview Mr Ahern said he has no immediate plans to step down and would be staying on as Taoiseach for a 'good few years'.

When asked about his recent appearance at the Mahon Tribunal, the Taoiseach said it was something which had to be done.

The tribunal is investigating planning corruption and Mr Ahern has been asked about cash transactions which went through bank accounts on his behalf in the 1990s. He has denied any wrongdoing.

The last visit to Ireland by a reigning British monarch was when George V, The Queen's grandfather, came to Dublin in 1911, when Ireland was still part of the United Kingdom.

In recent years, other British royals have visited Ireland, including Queen Elizabeth's husband Prince Philip and Prince Charles, the heir to the throne.

There has been speculation about a visit by the queen since the signing of the Good Friday Agreement in 1998.

Power is now being shared between unionists and nationalists in a revived Northern Ireland Assembly in Belfast.

For years, Ireland's Belfast-born President Mary McAleese has strongly supported the prospect of a visit by Queen Elizabeth.

The night she was elected for her first seven-year term as President in 1997, Mrs McAleese said she hoped she would host the queen on her first visit

Play Station hijackers raid lorry 
 
A lorry containing £120,000 worth of computers and Sony Play Stations has been hijacked and stolen in County Antrim.
More than 140 laptop computers and 18 Play Stations Threes were taken during the robbery.

It took place on the Lylehill Road in Templepatrick on Friday afternoon, said police.

A white HGV lorry was driving along the road when a white box van pulled out, forcing the driver to stop.


Two men, one armed with a knife, got out of the van and forced the driver into their vehicle.

The driver was driven around for about two hours. He raised the once he was released. The hijacking took place at about 1430 GMT on Friday.

anyone for Nutts corner tomorrow?

I love this entire story, wonder will it make a book and/or film? a pair of heartless feckers

the latest.
The wife of a man presumed drowned in a 2002 canoe accident has said he lived in part of the family home for three years after being declared dead.
Anne Darwin said her husband hid in a bedsit in a house they owned next door when family or friends visited to prevent them discovering the truth.

John Darwin, 57, vanished from the Hartlepool area in March 2002.

He walked into a police station last week claiming amnesia and is now being questioned on suspicion of fraud.

Cleveland Police have been granted an extra 36 hours to question him and may apply for a further extension if necessary.

Police also want to speak to Mrs Darwin, 55, who sold the family home in Seaton Carew and moved to Panama six weeks ago.

She is thought to be in Miami but expected to return to the UK this weekend.

'Hid in bedsit'

Mrs Darwin told reporters her husband plotted his Reggie Perrin-style disappearance to escape debts "in the tens of thousands".

"John said there was only one way out of the situation, and that was to fake his death. I pleaded with him not to do it, I said it was the wrong thing to do," she said.

  They were tortured. And yes, it was hard to keep up the front. I so wanted to tell them but I was in too deep

Anne Darwin

Mrs Darwin maintains she did not know he had gone ahead with the scam until he turned up on her doorstep in Seaton Carew 11 months after going missing, looking like he had been "living rough".

She claimed he threatened to say she was involved from the start if she reported him.

"He lived at the house with me for three years. We lived as man and wife," she added.

Mr Darwin was declared dead by a coroner in 2003.

Mrs Darwin has previously said she claimed on his life insurance "in good faith" but has now told reporters she knew he was alive before the pay out.

'Missed sons'

She said he lived with her in the main family home most of the time and hid in a small bedsit in a house they owned next door when guests or their two sons, Anthony and Mark, visited.

"They were tortured. And yes, it was hard to keep up the front. I so wanted to tell them but I was in too deep, how could I possibly explain to them that I'd known their father was alive?" she told journalists.

Both sons have said they want nothing more to do with their mother or father.

They insist they did not know their father was alive and say they are furious at being made the victims of what they describe as a "large scam".

Mr and Mrs Darwin later bought an apartment in Panama and she moved there seven weeks ago after selling up in England. But he had to come back because he could not remain without a visa and missed their sons, according to reports.

Police say they have received calls from "all over the world" after appealing for information about Mr Darwin.

have a look at the photo, can you see the face?

A book alleged to be bound in the skin of a Jesuit priest executed over the 1605 Gunpowder Plot is to due to be sold at auction.
The macabre lot, deemed "a bit spooky" by the auctioneer, has the mysterious image of a face on the cover, said to be that of Father Henry Garnet.

Auctioneer Sid Wilkinson of Doncaster said the face shows the haunting presence of a man falsely accused.

The book, dating from 1606, is expected to fetch several thousand pounds.

Preston v Scunthorpe
Port Vale/Chasetown v Cardiff
Colchester v Peterborough
Bolton v Sheffield United
Blackburn v Coventry
Brighton v Mansfield
Northampton/Walsall v Millwall
Charlton v West Brom
Watford v Crystal Palaec
Luton/Nottingham Forestv Liverpool
Plymouth v Hull
Aston Villa v Manchester United
Tranmere v Hereford
Tottenham v Reading
Burnley v Arsenal
Bristol City v Middlesbrough
Fulhamv Bristol Rovers
Huddersfield v Birmingham
Horsham/Swansea v Havant & Waterlooville
Sunderland v Wigan
Oxford/Southend v Dagenham & Redbridge
Everton v Oldham
Derby v Sheffield Wednesday
Southampton v Leicester
West Ham v Manchester City
Ipswich v Portsmouth
Wolves v Cambridge
Barnsley v Blackpool
Chelsea v QPR
Stoke v Newcastle
Swindon v Burton Albion/Barnet
Norwich v Bury

Was talking in the pub , and well to cut a long story I am trying to establish how many other clubs have been called Fontenoy, it was a discussion around Liatroim (Down) that started it, only other one I can find is Clanna Gale (Dublin) any others out there?

Five men have been arrested in connection with alleged corruption in football, police have said.
Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp and chief executive Peter Storrie are among those held on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud and false accounting.

Rangers player and Senegalese international Amdy Faye was also arrested in Glasgow.

The arrests are part of City of London Police's ongoing inquiry into alleged corruption, a spokeswoman said.

Police refused to give details of those arrested and would only confirm they were aged 69, 60, 55, 48 and 30.

The men were held as officers carried out raids on 12 locations across the country. Two of those searches are still ongoing.

Detectives from the economic crime unit of the City of London Police are investigating allegations of corruption within football and its impact on owners and shareholders.

  The club is fully supportive of Peter and Harry who are co-operating fully with City of London Police in this ongoing inquiry

Portsmouth FC

In July, officers raided Newcastle United, Portsmouth and Rangers football clubs as part of the inquiry.

A spokesman for Portsmouth said on Wednesday that the club's chief executive and manager had "been asked to help police with their inquiries concerning a matter dating back to 2003".

"This was prior to the new owner taking control of the club at the beginning of 2006," he said.

"The club is fully supportive of Peter and Harry who are co-operating fully with City of London Police in this ongoing inquiry.

"Both are playing major roles in the continued success of Portsmouth Football Club."

Rangers FC have confirmed that a player has been arrested in a matter unconnected to the club.

Meanwhile, the BBC understands that Scottish football agent Willie McKay is one of the other men arrested.

Mr McKay oversaw Mr Faye's 2005 transfer from Portsmouth to Newcastle United for £2m.

Seven arrests

Last year, the Premier League asked former Metropolitan Police Commissioner Lord Stevens and his company, Quest, to carry out a separate inquiry into several hundred player transfer deals.

In June, Lord Stevens presented his final report, which highlighted concerns over 17 transfers and five Premier League clubs.

City of London Police have distanced their investigation from Lord Stevens' inquiry.

The latest arrests bring the total number of people detained in connection with the investigation to seven.

In September, a 28-year-old man was arrested in London and in May, a 61-year-old man was arrested in Manchester on suspicion of money laundering.

this could have went on the Christmas thread but It deserves one all on its own.

What Christmas song do you hate the most? Is it one by Cliff? thats to easy!!! he is my first contribution

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JaXSDXiGy4

BBc NI are running a vote on the above topic and when I voted it was:

Healy 33% and Best 67% 

IMHO it should be Best 100%, Healy should not be compared to Best, not good enought to lace the guys boots

First 40 BILLION to bail out Northern Rock now this:

Two computer discs holding the personal details of all families in the UK with a child under 16 have gone missing.
The Child Benefit data on them includes name, address, date of birth, National Insurance number and, where relevant, bank details of 25m people.

Chancellor Alistair Darling said there was no evidence the data had gone to criminals - but urged people to monitor bank accounts "for unusual activity".

The Conservatives described the incident as a "catastrophic" failure.

CHILD BENEFIT HELPLINE
0845 302 1444

In an emergency statement to MPs, Mr Darling apologised for what he described as an "extremely serious failure on the part of HMRC to protect sensitive personal data entrusted to it in breach of its own guidelines".

MPs gasped as Mr Darling told them: "The missing information contains details of all Child Benefit recipients: records for 25 million individuals and 7.25 million families. "

 
The police are not aware of any evidence that it has been used for fraudulent purposes or criminal activity

Alistair Darling
Chancellor


Point-by-point: Darling
Q&A: Records lost  

The chancellor blamed mistakes by junior officials at HMRC, who he said had ignored security procedures when they sent information to the National Audit Office (NAO) for auditing.

Mr Darling told MPs: "Two password protected discs containing a full copy of HMRC's entire data in relation to the payment of child benefit was sent to the NAO, by HMRC's internal post system operated by the courier TNT.

The package was not recorded or registered. It appears the data has failed to reach the addressee in the NAO."

He added: "The police tell me that they have no reason to believe that this data has found its way into the wrong hands.

"The police are not aware of any evidence that it has been used for fraudulent purposes or criminal activity."

Fraud protection

The HMRC has set up a Child Benefit Helpline on 0845 302 1444 for customers who want more details.

The data was sent on 18 October and senior management at HMRC were told it was missing on 8 November and the chancellor on 10 November.

MISSING DATA INCLUDES...
National insurance number
Name, address and birth date
Partner's details
Names, sex and age of children
Bank/savings account details

Mr Darling said banks were adamant that they wanted as much time to prepare for his announcement as possible.

He added: "If someone is the innocent victim of fraud as a result of this incident, people can be assured they have protection under the Banking Code so they will not suffer any financial loss as a result."

Mr Darling said people should monitor their accounts "for any unusual activity".

Chairman resigns

The Metropolitan Police are investigating the disappearance of the two discs and the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC), which monitors HMRC, is investigating the security breach.

Uniformed officers were earlier checking HMRC's offices in Washington, Tyne and Wear.

It is the latest and by far the most serious of a string of missing data incidents at HM Revenue and Customs.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Check your bank statements for odd transactions
Monitor your account if you bank online
Change your account password if it is a date of birth or name
Source: Apacs


How worried should you be?  

HMRC chairman Paul Gray resigned earlier after the latest incident came to light.

Shadow Chancellor George Osborne said: "Let us be clear about the scale of this catastrophic mistake - the names, the addresses and the dates of birth of every child in the country are sitting on two computer discs that are apparently lost in the post, and the bank account details and National Insurance numbers of 10 million parents, guardians and carers have gone missing.

"Half the country will be very anxious about the safety of their family and the security and the whole country will be wondering how on earth the government allowed this to happen."

'Ancient' computers

He urged the government to "get a grip" and said it was the "final blow for the ambitions of this government to create a national ID database" as "they simply can not be trusted with people's personal information".

Liberal Democrat Acting Leader Vince Cable said it was now the Treasury and not the Home Office that was "not fit for purpose".

CHILD BENEFIT

Available to the parents, normally mother, of every child in UK under 16
Older children in full-time education still eligible
Taken up by almost 100%
It amounts to £18.10 a week for a first-born child
For subsequent children - it amounts to £12.10 a week


Timeline: Benefit records loss  

"Why does HMRC still use CDs for data transmission in this day and age? The ancient museum pieces it is currently using for computing must be replaced.

"After this disaster how can the public possibly have confidence in the vast centralised databases needed for the compulsory ID card scheme.

"Where does the buck stop after this catalogue of disasters?"

Giving his reaction, the Information Commissioner, Richard Thomas, said: "This is an extremely serious and disturbing security breach."

Mr Thomas welcomed the Chancellor's announcement of an independent review of the incident by Kieran Poynter of PricewaterhouseCoopers and said he would decide on further action once he has received the report.

"Searching questions need to be answered about systems, procedures and human error inside both HMRC and NAO," said Mr Thomas.

The prime minister's official spokeswoman said Gordon Brown has "full confidence" in Mr Darling. She added that Mr Darling has not offered to resign.



they were not even sent recorded delivery

Bloke  coming on masterminds, his specialist subject is the GAA

Is this discrimination or common sense, and how do you make the call who is obess and who isnt?

Frm the BBC

leading Australian nutritionist has urged airlines to charge obese passengers more for their seats.
Dr John Tickell believes a "fat tax" would highlight his country's obesity crisis and make commercial sense, as heavier loads increase fuel costs.

But health groups have warned that to single out people with weight problems could cause them emotional stress.

Recent studies estimate that 67% of Australian men and over half of women aged over 25 are overweight or obese.

Experts have warned that by 2030 half of the country's children will be overweight or obese if the problem goes unchecked.

In March, Australian health officials were forced to equip their fleet of ambulances with heavy-duty stretchers to cope with the sharp rise in overweight patients.

'Too precious'

Dr Tickell, a leading nutritionist and author, told the BBC that society should take a more hardline stance against obesity and get tough on fat airline passengers.

He said that Australian airlines should impose charges on their overweight clients, as they do for excess baggage, because heavier loads increase fuel costs.

  It's not fair to single out those people who have a problem, which is already impacting greatly on their life, and make them feel like pariahs

Dr Tim Gill
Australasian Obesity Society

"I fly Sydney to Perth - five hours - and being totally disadvantaged by some huge person next to me literally flopping over into my seat. Why should I pay the same as them?" he asked.

Dr Tickell said it was important to start highlighting Australia's obesity crisis.

"I think we're a bit too nice, we're a bit too precious about minority groups. I think the majority group must have something to say too," he added.


But the chief executive of the Australasian Society for the Study of Obesity, Dr Tim Gill, said penalty charges should not be imposed on overweight passengers.

"It's not fair to single out those people who have a problem, which is already impacting greatly on their life, and make them feel like pariahs," he said.

A spokesman for the Australian budge airline, Jetstar, said it had no plans to charge larger passengers more for their seats.

Airlines are, however, monitoring long-term trends in the size and shape of their customers, the BBC's Phil Mercer in Sydney says.

The Ulster Defence Association is expected to make a major announcement about its future on Remembrance Sunday.
It is understood the organisation may announce that it is to stand down some of its units and call for an end to all criminal activity.

However, the group is not expected to give any commitment that it will decommission its weapons.

The DUP junior minister Ian Paisley Junior said the UDA should be judged on its actions and not on its words.

Mr Paisely said unionists would analyse carefully any move from the UDA.

"Ordinary loyalist communities don't want pariahs on their back," he said.

"They want to see the actions, the gangsterism, all going away.

"So, let's look at the actions and if we are now seeing movement in the right direction, I, of course, will not be churlish.".


FFS just stand down them all and hand over all the guns!!! They are only terrorising the people who they claim to represent