I just got a text from one of our minors saying he couldn't train tonight because his sister was going to her school formal. I text him back asking how that affected him and he replied that he had to be at the house to wave bye bye to her when she gets into the limo. WTF!
Best one I've heard for a while. Any others?
When i was at uni a message sent from Renshaws (never a good idea) to the fellas manager (who was also his father) which simply stated:
"I have a hamstring"
Haha, can't mind who that was? Derry contingent?
Nope, South Armagh contingent :D
fella from our club said he wouldn't drive from belfast because the back door wouldn't close and he would not risk the lives of the passengers, think in was a wed and there were in the bot!!!!!!
Well if it was a Wednesday and they weren't in the Bot then questions would need asked!
That reminds me off an excuse given to get out of 1st year school training once.
A fella who was not sporting in any shape or form was trying to get out of school football training which was basically unheard off. the conversation went something like this.
Lazy 1st year (Terry)"Sir"
Cross teacher (Chivers) "What Terry?"
Terry "I cant do training today"
Chivers "WHAT?"
Terry " I cant do training today?"
Chivers "Why not?"
Terry "I cant do training today because I have a hamstring"
Chivers "You have a hamstring?"
Terry "Yes"
Chivers looks at him for a min and then says "Well Terry If I had A hamstring I wouldnt be able to train either"
There is a silence for a couple of seconds and the rest of the panel are amazed he is taking this obvious lie in. Terry turns around thinking to himself that he has out-smarted Mr Chivers and just as he starts to walk away (without so much as a limp) Chivers shouts
"IN FACT IF I ONLY HAD 1 HAMSTRING I WOULDNT EVEN BE FIT TO WALK" and boots Terry up the ass actually lifting him of the ground.
that was never at the Convent was it?
No Paddy Chivers, a Lavey man think he and the convent Chivers are related though but could be wrong.
Quote from: Gabriel_Hurl on October 22, 2008, 05:04:57 PM
that was never at the Convent was it?
:D was thinking the same myself!
Quote from: Lecale2 on October 22, 2008, 04:38:32 PM
I just got a text from one of our minors saying he couldn't train tonight because his sister was going to her school formal. I text him back asking how that affected him and he replied that he had to be at the house to wave bye bye to her when she gets into the limo. WTF!
Best one I've heard for a while. Any others?
shakes head and tuts loudly :o
I forgot my stuff
The cattle broke out
i couldnt find the anti freeze
I was grounded once - wasnt allowed out the door (and I mean out the door) except for mass and school for a month. I got back to training and football after a week.
The late Mick Holden arrived very late at training in Parnell park one Saturday morning and Heffo pulled him aside ready to read him the riot act
Holden: Heffo did you hear about the big armed robbery yesterday?
Heffo: Yeah, why?
Holden: Cos the guards pulled me over on the way and said I was the image of one of the robbers
Heffo: Jaysus, are you serious?
Holden: No, but it sounds better than I just couldn't be bothered getting out of bed!
One of our minors couldn't play a match one because of a golf injury. Not the most macho excuse ever . . .
Of course Stephen Ireland missed a match once because his grandmother was died. But, of course, she wasn't
Quote from: Lecale2 on October 22, 2008, 04:38:32 PM
I just got a text from one of our minors saying he couldn't train tonight because his sister was going to her school formal. I text him back asking how that affected him and he replied that he had to be at the house to wave bye bye to her when she gets into the limo. WTF!
Will he be dropped is the question??
ive been lifting bales all day i have no need to be doing any training this week ::)
I had to leave training early one night to get my hair cut, i told the manager i had to go and he was laughing (thinking i was joking) as i started to walk away and he realised i was serious the laughter left him and the language got very industrial.
Not football but I was late for work one day and the boss was looking for an explanation
Boss - Where the f**k were you?
Zap - Sorry the girlfriend was having a baby.
Boss - Ooh, fair enough, what did she have?
Zap - I'll tell ye in nine months ;)
Boss - Hahahaha, good man Zap.
It's not originally mine, I had heard of another guy doing it so tried it and it worked a treat :D
Another old one: A young lad arrive into school an hour late one snowy morning.
- Where are you going at this hour?
- The roads are fierce slippy sir. Every time I went two steps forward I slipped three steps back.
- You realise that, mathematically, that means you could never have got here?
- I know. Sure didn't I turn around to go home!
Will never forget the time that we had a match the Sunday the clocks went forward.
Our intercounty player turned up at half time wondering why the match had started early.
Everyone had told him the clocks went forward at Fridays training.
The manager had even phoned him on Saturday night ::)
Someone let my budgie out of its cage.
Best one I heard was that a player couldnt make training because he was helping his da build a pigeon shed.
Also, a mate of mine once texted his manager at 2.30am on a Friday morning from Belfast asking him did he know the number of Dial-a-Drink. Worst of all the team had a match that night.
last year towards the end of the season we were sittin in renshaws and 2 of the lads had trainin at home (although they werent students, they were just down for the night before), and were try to make up excuses not to go back down the road, so one of them plucked up the courage and just text the manager saying that he wouldnt be back from belfast in time he was still there, and then the other one text immediately after just saying "so am i" :D chancer!!
trainer...... why u late for training?
pa.............had to take the cow to the bull
trainer........could ur father not have done that?
pa..............jaysus no.. it had to be bull!
:) :) :) :) ... Class ..hahaha!!!
Boss ...... why were you not @ training last night?
Mule ... sorry boss, i tried, but by the time i come ...... it was too late..... ;D ;D ;D