Condolescenes to his family and all that knew him, a leeds united legend, had a great yr with wales, reports say he was found hanged today...
Im in total state of shock, only 42, Rest in peace.
hanging!? fkn hell thats shocking - i assumed heart.
what a class footballer
Very sad news. A great player for many years
Quote from: SLIGONIAN on November 27, 2011, 12:37:42 PM
Condolescenes to his family and all that knew him, a leeds united legend, had a great yr with wales, reports say he was found hanged today...
Im in total state of shock, only 42, Rest in peace.
that's been confirmed
Very sad news. RIP
Actually in shock about it. RIP
Quote from: Hoof Hearted on November 27, 2011, 12:42:36 PM
Quote from: SLIGONIAN on November 27, 2011, 12:37:42 PM
Condolescenes to his family and all that knew him, a leeds united legend, had a great yr with wales, reports say he was found hanged today...
Im in total state of shock, only 42, Rest in peace.
that's been confirmed
I did think about whether to post that or not, but its in the mainstream media so everyone was going to see it anyway. Really gutted, he was one of the good guys and i think everyone liked him and wanted him to do well.
yeah posted it on the Death Notices earlier on, but diddnt realise he was found hung.
Honestly can not believe this! He was just on Football Focus yesterday and looked so relaxed and like himself! Seemed one of the genuine nice guys in football. His poor family, can't believe it - RIP
That's a real shocker.
This is shocking news! On the face of it you would think he had it all, successful career, wife, kids, plenty of money. But you just don't know what's going on in a mans head! RIP Gary, a true legend for Wales and Leeds!
I have been listening to the tributes on Radio 5, god some grown men close top tears with the shock but not one of them has mentioned how he died yet. one of the great midfielders
RIP
What a strange condition.
Jesus that's shocking. Seemed like a really nice fella. Can't believe that.
RIP
Sad shocking news. I dont often get to see Football focus, but was up early yesterday and there he was on it. Few hours later and he has taken his life. Thoughts are with his family. RIP
Depression will claim anyone from any background, class divide. Terrible for anyone to go through that. for it to drive you to kill yourself, and that being the only way out must be a very lonely place to be in.
Men still don't talk about it and this is what finally pushes them over the edge.
very sad, one of my favourite players back then, esp when he was at leeds. one of the great headers of a football.
I had the privilege of watching him play for his beloved toffees a couple of times at Goodison. I met him once, he was a genuinely nice lad. Terribly sad news. God rest him.
One of my favourite memories of Gary Speed, was when David O Leary swallowed his tongue playing for Ireland against Wales and with the game continuing on Speed stopped playing ran over to O Leary and help open the airway and called for medics, he made over 300 appearances for Leeds and came up through the ranks aswell, and won the old Division 1 title in 1992 which is now the premiership, he also played in 2 FA cup finals with Newcastle and played for Everton, sheff united, 85 caps for wales and was captain for 44 caps...
Can't believe that.
He had Wales playing some great football recently too.
RIP
Shocking news. Very weird I happened to read this on the Guardian football site yesterday. Well worth a read.
www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/nov/25/the-secret-footballer?INTCMP=SRCH
Very sad news. Robbie Savage said he was talking to him only yesterday on the phone and said he was in great form. Laughing and joking. You never know what's going on in someone's head underneath it all.
Quote from: ExiledGael on November 27, 2011, 01:41:59 PM
Shocking news. Very weird I happened to read this on the Guardian football site yesterday. Well worth a read.
www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/nov/25/the-secret-footballer?INTCMP=SRCH
Thats an interesting article and got me thinking about an incident i had with GAA footballers father over a 1yr ago, he told me that his son was suicidal at what i was saying. It affected me deeply and i stopped posting on HS altogether and on here in terms of player performance with Sligo. I went back into HS and Gaaboard and copied and pasted everything i said about this player just to see what bothered him. I was shocked to myself at the tamenest of my comments, if i remember correctly the worst thing i said was "this player isnt up to county standard but i blame walsh for picking him, not the player who trys his best, but just not good enough" I did a background check on this player and he well known not to be able to take criticism and is very sensitive and there are family issues. I have said alot worse about other players but i never really knew you could affect them so much, i wouldnt be proud of hurting players feelings but at least i stopped. As you say none of know what goes on in each of our heads, but i have people round me in my life who i can share anything with and i hope everyone has the same. I think mental health shouldnt be shunned under the carpet and we need to tackle it head on.
+1 Sligonian
Absolute tragedy, he did seem a genuinely nice man. Condolances to his wife and family.
Shocking news. Was an absolute legend of a player and fast becoming a very good manager
RIP and God Bless
What could drive a man like Gary Speed to do something as terrible as take his own life??
Dumb struck at that news.
Got a fair shock when I saw that news.
I would have regarded him particularly highly without knowing much about him really.
Very tough for his family. RIP.
Shocked with the news, fine player not many could play in the top flight as long as he did! The silent killer depression has claimed another good person! awful disease.
Was just going to post that link ExiledGael. It seems that it is becoming more normal to talk about it in the public sphere nowadays. There are a fwe things mentioned in that article, like the German referee who tried to take his life last weekend. Does anyone follow Stan Collymore on Twitter? He's been posting updates of his condition, for anyone interested. Anyway, RIP Gary Speed.
totally shocked by the news. devastating for his family. RIP
Just saw the footage of Shay Given from this afternoon. Heartbreaking stuff.
Quote from: mc_grens on November 27, 2011, 07:53:18 PM
Just saw the footage of Shay Given from this afternoon. Heartbreaking stuff.
Yeah Shay couldn't hold back the tears
(http://s1-03.twitpicproxy.com/photos/large/457967174.jpg)
Terrible news RIP
This just shows that depression is something that can affect anyone. If someone like Gary Speed who to the outside world was young, fit, good looking, perfect family, no money worries ... can feel that they can't go on then there is no shame in anyone feeling depressed.
It's incredible sad, hopefully his wife and children can find a way to get through this.
I agree re depression but how do you know this was the reason for his death?
Quote from: DennistheMenace on November 27, 2011, 09:21:57 PM
I agree re depression but how do you know this was the reason for his death?
We don't, and sometimes in these cases we would never know, but you must be feeling terrible inside if you want to throw a rope up and do away with your life.
Unreal. Brilliant header of the ball. Great pro. Watched football focus yesterday and couldnt believe it when i heard it after mass today
Sadly this high profile case could launch a large number of other similar stories.
I thought Gary had everything a man could possibly want. RIP.
As anyone ever had depression, suffer from depression or know someone that had it?
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:07:53 PM
As anyone ever had depression, suffer from depression or know someone that had it?
Everyone on here knows someone who suffers from depression, it is widespread and is a terrible silent killer. I often wonder why so much money a.d effort is spent on road deaths but most media can't even put the word suicide in their reports.
Quote from: mylestheslasher on November 27, 2011, 10:21:00 PM
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:07:53 PM
As anyone ever had depression, suffer from depression or know someone that had it?
Everyone on here knows someone who suffers from depression, it is widespread and is a terrible silent killer. I often wonder why so much money a.d effort is spent on road deaths but most media can't even put the word suicide in their reports.
I posted that cause there seems to be a feeling that some people don't really understand depression. It dosen't matter if you have miss world in your bed and own all of China. Depression is terrible for those who suffer it or have had family that suffer it
Shocked at the news - he was a very solid player and seemed like a true gent of the pitch.
Some disturbing news circling round Twitter at the minute about a certain newspaper that was going to run a story about him tomorrow.
Quote from: Gabriel_Hurl on November 27, 2011, 10:24:55 PM
Shocked at the news - he was a very solid player and seemed like a true gent of the pitch.
Some disturbing news circling round Twitter at the minute about a certain newspaper that was going to run a story about him tomorrow.
Rumours of the S*n "outing" him.
Those f**kers should be shot, how many people on the board buy these red tabs?
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:34:31 PM
Those f**kers should be shot, how many people on the board buy these red tabs?
A fair few I would imagine if you look at their circulation.
about time that paper went same way as news of the world
Quote from: The Worker on November 27, 2011, 10:38:28 PM
about time that paper went same way as news of the world
I have never ever in my life bought a red tab. Irish news the odd time now. No real information in a paper that i can't get from the net or here!!
Makes my blood boil, i hope they are proud
The paper is successful because more people buy it than anything else.
Poor Gary. To get to the point when your life isn't worth continuing with - at such a young age and with so much to do - must be a very, very dark place.
Personally, I don't think it was depression but we'll probably, and hopefully, never know.
Quote from: Minder on November 27, 2011, 10:30:42 PM
Quote from: Gabriel_Hurl on November 27, 2011, 10:24:55 PM
Shocked at the news - he was a very solid player and seemed like a true gent of the pitch.
Some disturbing news circling round Twitter at the minute about a certain newspaper that was going to run a story about him tomorrow.
Rumours of the S*n "outing" him.
You mean that this story may have led him to take his own life?
@TheSunNewspaper No truth in this story. The Sun was not investigating Gary Speed in any way.
Why would you not believe them?
QuoteRumours of the S*n "outing" him.
What a terrible, cowardly post.
Starting with the word rumours so as not to be blamed with the accusation. Using an asterisk to avoid being sued by a newspaper and putting quotation marks around a life style choice which people should not be ashamed of nowadays
To be in that position ONeill it (should this be the real reason) must have been so bad for him to do that.
But still depression is the silent killer and he was obviously depressed at the thought of being "outed" and killed himself.
Wild - there are always options - no matter how dark things look there are always options. In todays world, anything can be dealt with.
Quote from: BennyCake on November 27, 2011, 10:43:57 PM
Quote from: Minder on November 27, 2011, 10:30:42 PM
Quote from: Gabriel_Hurl on November 27, 2011, 10:24:55 PM
Shocked at the news - he was a very solid player and seemed like a true gent of the pitch.
Some disturbing news circling round Twitter at the minute about a certain newspaper that was going to run a story about him tomorrow.
Rumours of the S*n "outing" him.
You mean that this story may have led him to take his own life?
Justin Fashanu case springs to mind. TBH i'd leave these type of rumours away from forums.
Quote from: Windmill abu on November 27, 2011, 10:45:35 PM
QuoteRumours of the S*n "outing" him.
What a terrible, cowardly post.
Starting with the word rumours so as not to be blamed with the accusation. Using an asterisk to avoid being sued by a newspaper and putting quotation marks around a life style choice which people should not be ashamed of nowadays
Are you brain dead ?
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:46:15 PM
To be in that position ONeill it (should this be the real reason) must have been so bad for him to do that.
But still depression is the silent killer and he was obviously depressed at the thought of being "outed" and killed himself.
I understand that but I also believe some suicides are spur of the moments.
Quote from: ONeill on November 27, 2011, 10:51:14 PM
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:46:15 PM
To be in that position ONeill it (should this be the real reason) must have been so bad for him to do that.
But still depression is the silent killer and he was obviously depressed at the thought of being "outed" and killed himself.
I understand that but I also believe some suicides are spur of the moments.
Agreed, a moment of madness.
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:52:05 PM
Quote from: ONeill on November 27, 2011, 10:51:14 PM
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 10:46:15 PM
To be in that position ONeill it (should this be the real reason) must have been so bad for him to do that.
But still depression is the silent killer and he was obviously depressed at the thought of being "outed" and killed himself.
I understand that but I also believe some suicides are spur of the moments.
Agreed, a moment of madness.
Disagree - I've heard of a few where the actual act has built up over a few weeks. Buying the tool and planning the event.
Yeah lads, leave the rumours and speculation out. Can do no good. Lets wait for the facts.
Now we don't know what lead to Garys tragic passing but if you want to understand depression. Just imagine everything that you ever cared about suddenly meant nothing to you. The disease affects the hypothalamus the gland that produces endorphin's and so no happiness or pleasure can be derived from anything. Its not like you can just snap-out-of-it. Doesn't matter how rich or successful you are, it all feels meaningless. It's a horrible disease and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not only me but a few other relatives of mine had it too.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b017m16g/606_27_11_2011/
An emotional but fantastic tribute to a legend of a person, the stories shared were inspiring. What a man. Sleep well my hero.
RIP. A great Toffee and one of the greats of the game.
Shocked.
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on November 27, 2011, 01:12:16 PM
Depression will claim anyone from any background, class divide. Terrible for anyone to go through that. for it to drive you to kill yourself, and that being the only way out must be a very lonely place to be in.
n
Men still don't talk about it and this is what finally pushes them over the edge.
[b/]
its not always easy to talk about things that bother you. I'm a very private person and there are things i won't tell anyone no matter how much they bother me. Im lucky they arent tehat serious bt for some people they could be. On the outside he may have seemed happy but nobody knows someones personal life really. RIP
Really shocking news alright. Poor family left behind wondering why.
Couldn't believe it when i heard the news terribly sad. Like miltrow said depression is the silent killer. I know at least 5 people who have committed suicide around the ballina area the past year year far far too common at this stage.
Very sad. RIP
A great favourite at Leeds, came up through the ranks from underage. Best header of the ball I've ever seen. Will be very mich missed in the game.
A legend of a player. The length of his career in the Premiership marks him out as one of the great professional soccer players and holds the record for most capped outfield player for Wales. Hard to believe what has happened.
Re depression- My sister in law worked as a suicide prevention officer, and she said that the reason the vast majority of people looking to take their own life was not not one big thing but many other small problems building up to this feeling of worthlessness. As someone has already said it is very much a disease of the mind, and lot more should be done about it.
Although it would appear not to be the case here as Garry Speed is a 42 year old man, the vast majority of suicides in young people is drug related. Either drugs leading to a state of depression or victims are high on drugs when they commit suicide.
Very sad news, but this is a reality for many families on a daily basis.
I was talking to someone who deals with this type of thing this morning.. I was asking what sort of affect she thinks this would have on people in general and she said that if he is built up into a sort of hero through the media with what he has done given added mystique etc. then this is very dangerous. If this is dealt with in the right way that brings the issue out into the open more and people start to talk more freely about having depression etc. and not feel stigmatised then this could have a positive effect on people.
RIP
Terrible news yesterday and was surprisingly annoyed over this yesterday, switched off sky sports and just watched the game. Maybe it was after watching him on FF on Saturday. Always liked him a player, even when he was at Everton, and he came across well on the TV.
Maiden1, yeah have seen that before in these cases. A local GAA club lost a player this wya a few years back and then another shortly after it. One of the prevention officers was involved at the time with the others and the family and one of the first things they tried to enforce was as lowkey funeral as possible - that if others seen the person buried in a blaze of glory or whorship as such that it can make the decision easier for others. Not a very nice or pleasant subject by any stretch of the imagination.
Terrible, terrible news. So sad. I always admired him as a player (far and away my favourite player on that Leeds team) and he seemed a good bloke too. Was delighted to see him raising Wales fortunes too. It's horrific.
Don't know what to say really. What can you say? Very, very sad. Always came across as a decent fella, and I was shocked when I saw it yesterday morning. RIP.
Horrible stuff! Wouldn't have supported anyone loyally over the years but I always liked Gary Speed as a player - RIP.
A tragic story and will be greatly missed
i watched the video on youtube of him on football focus on saturday, and came across this photo online which was a photo with a fan taken on Saturday afternoon. Maybe its just me and this is hindsight talking but i think theres something different in how he looked normally and how he's looking in both the photo and on football focus, something different in his eyes, hard to explain
Poor fella, RIP
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Last-picture-Wales-manager-hours-committed-suicide.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Last-picture-Wales-manager-hours-committed-suicide.html)
Reading all the tributes and the type of person people who knew him are saying Speed was and what he had going for him in his life makes it all the more baffling as to why he did what he did.
I know everyone has a story of their own to tell regarding knowing someone who has committed suicide but there was one that affected me very badly a few years ago.
I had an apprentice working with me and it was coming up to Christmas,this guy was only 21 and was a real joker and he was really excited about the Christmas coming up.
His sister was due her first child any day and he couldn't wait to be an Uncle, and his other sister who he was very close to was coming home from Australia on the 28th of December and he hadn't seen her in a year,he had said to me a number of times this was gonna be the best Christmas ever,he even texted me on Christmas Eve to say he had won €1000 on some bet he had placed and he wished me a happy Christmas and that he would see me in the New Year for a few drinks before we went back to work.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I got a phone call St.Stephen's morning to say he had been found hanging in his father's garage at his home,why he done it I'll never understand he had so much going for him and he was so looking forward to that Christmas.
As I said it really affected me and I don't think I ever got over it as I just can't get my head around why he did it or if I should have spotted something in him myself as I was working side by side with him every day for about 8 months.
Shocking LL altogether. Say it was and still is very tough. Can't get my head around it at all since yesterday.
Gents- Do any of you know of any local groups that offer counsilling (Prob spelt that wrong) for those who are affected by depression similar to the samaritains, or those who find themselves in need of an ear. Does Oisin McConville's group do that?
I want to run a wee bit on our Facebook page for the Club's younger members do let them know people can help.
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/11/28/article-2066812-0EF858E700000578-424_306x423.jpg)
Very cool photo there. My wee brother is a big Leeds fan and he'd a neat photo on there too. It was a foil Speed sticker from an old album and he said 'you had to be a good player to be a shiney'. Apt.
Quote from: Norf Tyrone on November 28, 2011, 05:06:51 PM
Gents- Do any of you know of any local groups that offer counsilling (Prob spelt that wrong) for those who are affected by depression similar to the samaritains, or those who find themselves in need of an ear. Does Oisin McConville's group do that?
I want to run a wee bit on our Facebook page for the Club's younger members do let them know people can help.
AWARE would be a support group for depression in ROI.
http://www.aware.ie/ (http://www.aware.ie/)
Pieta House as well, the organisation we helped out with the Golf Classic.
Sad story LL sounds like the lad had a bad case of Bipolar disorder.
Quote from: laoislad on November 28, 2011, 04:13:40 PM
Reading all the tributes and the type of person people who knew him are saying Speed was and what he had going for him in his life makes it all the more baffling as to why he did what he did.
I know everyone has a story of their own to tell regarding knowing someone who has committed suicide but there was one that affected me very badly a few years ago.
I had an apprentice working with me and it was coming up to Christmas,this guy was only 21 and was a real joker and he was really excited about the Christmas coming up.
His sister was due her first child any day and he couldn't wait to be an Uncle, and his other sister who he was very close to was coming home from Australia on the 28th of December and he hadn't seen her in a year,he had said to me a number of times this was gonna be the best Christmas ever,he even texted me on Christmas Eve to say he had won €1000 on some bet he had placed and he wished me a happy Christmas and that he would see me in the New Year for a few drinks before we went back to work.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I got a phone call St.Stephen's morning to say he had been found hanging in his father's garage at his home,why he done it I'll never understand he had so much going for him and he was so looking forward to that Christmas.
As I said it really affected me and I don't think I ever got over it as I just can't get my head around why he did it or if I should have spotted something in him myself as I was working side by side with him every day for about 8 months.
That is tragic. I would say there are hundreds like you every year wondering why they seen nothing or wondering why. Very sad.
Sad and all that Gary's death was and (the probable) dark state of mind he was in, my thoughts would be for the shocking sight left for his family that had to find him like that and the spectre that will live with his children for the rest of their lives.
Gary's life is over, the pain is elsewhere now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQoUpo9rX0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQoUpo9rX0)
Heartbreaking stuff :'(
Quote from: ross4life on November 28, 2011, 05:21:37 PM
Sad story LL sounds like the lad had a bad case of Bipolar disorder.
If you don't know anything about an illness, never mind being professionally qualified, you probably shouldn't be making flippant diagnoses based on a few lines of text.
Great photo there from norf tyrone.
Quote from: Clown on November 28, 2011, 03:37:12 PM
A tragic story and will be greatly missed
i watched the video on youtube of him on football focus on saturday, and came across this photo online which was a photo with a fan taken on Saturday afternoon. Maybe its just me and this is hindsight talking but i think theres something different in how he looked normally and how he's looking in both the photo and on football focus, something different in his eyes, hard to explain
Poor fella, RIP
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Last-picture-Wales-manager-hours-committed-suicide.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Last-picture-Wales-manager-hours-committed-suicide.html)
I see the same thing, its a glazed over look in his eyes, like he is zoned out, very errie that first photo. He probably knew then.
Sorry to hear that LL, heart breaking stuff, my next door neighbour who i grew up with has tried and failed to commit suicide 3 times, the first time i'll never forget his mother running into the kitchen crying needing a lift from my parents into to see if there son is ok, you should never beat yourself up for not reading the signs, because they are experts at hiding it and wearing an outwardly positive mask to society. The only thing i will say if someone is outwardly positive more than usual it be the only sign you get so i tend to get a bit pokey with people like that and ask them how they really doing. Its an unconcious act and the person feels out of there body, i talked to my friend about it and he also sayed it was like someone else in control, and he wanted to stop the pain. Hes never fully recovered, but i hope he has better days ahead. Bless anyone at this present moment suffering like this.
Quote from: SLIGONIAN on November 28, 2011, 07:30:45 PM
Quote from: Clown on November 28, 2011, 03:37:12 PM
A tragic story and will be greatly missed
i watched the video on youtube of him on football focus on saturday, and came across this photo online which was a photo with a fan taken on Saturday afternoon. Maybe its just me and this is hindsight talking but i think theres something different in how he looked normally and how he's looking in both the photo and on football focus, something different in his eyes, hard to explain
Poor fella, RIP
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Last-picture-Wales-manager-hours-committed-suicide.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-dead-Last-picture-Wales-manager-hours-committed-suicide.html)
I see the same thing, its a glazed over look in his eyes, like he is zoned out, very errie that first photo. He probably knew then.
Sorry to hear that LL, heart breaking stuff, my next door neighbour who i grew up with has tried and failed to commit suicide 3 times, the first time i'll never forget his mother running into the kitchen crying needing a lift from my parents into to see if there son is ok, you should never beat yourself up for not reading the signs, because they are experts at hiding it and wearing an outwardly positive mask to society. The only thing i will say if someone is outwardly positive more than usual it be the only sign you get so i tend to get a bit pokey with people like that and ask them how they really doing. Its an unconcious act and the person feels out of there body, i talked to my friend about it and he also sayed it was like someone else in control, and he wanted to stop the pain. Hes never fully recovered, but i hope he has better days ahead. Bless anyone at this present moment suffering like this.
Agreed.
People who describe it as a selfish act really need education.
Also wanted to say Leeds United fans are planning to sing his name for for the 11 mins of the next 2 games, and banners are being prepared for the next home game. I am slightly worried as our next home game is against millwall and hopefully theyll respect the minutes silence because therell be war if otherwise. From the Leeds side of things we are looking at a massive crowd for that game on the back of this tradegy as people want to pay there respects.
I suppose the photo i saw today that got me emotionally was a Man utd shirt with a message to Gary on the Billy Bremner statue, this man u fan also asked permission to put it there. Great to see. I just hope the turkey and munich chants cease forever now.
You are right Muppet that nobody really understands what was going on with whoever committed suicide. Its a horrible horrible way to have someone stolen from your life. I lost a good mate at Uni through suicide and nobody knows why. I think that is why so many people would call it selfish, because of the devastation it leaves behind and the questions. They are all selfish responses in themselves, to death, but all natural.
A horrible reality.
God Bless the Wife and kids left behind and the wider family circle. Hopefully they find comfort in the tributes pouring in for the man.
Quote from: The Iceman on November 28, 2011, 07:46:57 PM
You are right Muppet that nobody really understands what was going on with whoever committed suicide. Its a horrible horrible way to have someone stolen from your life. I lost a good mate at Uni through suicide and nobody knows why. I think that is why so many people would call it selfish, because of the devastation it leaves behind and the questions. They are all selfish responses in themselves, to death, but all natural.
A horrible reality.
God Bless the Wife and kids left behind and the wider family circle. Hopefully they find comfort in the tributes pouring in for the man.
An unconcious act is when your mind controls you and you go missing, it happens when the suffering your experience is too much, you go on autopilot to survive it but it is very dangerous because you relinquish control of the mind and are no longer at the wheel. Simplest explaination is when someone makes you angry and you react well your reaction is unconcious, they push your button and it triggers the reaction, you turn into a robot. The question is what triggered this unconcious charge in Gary and it must of been massive for him to react the way he did. So imo there are all unconcious reactions, not selfish.
I started working on my mind yrs ago because of health issues, grief is actually a unconcious reaction. My Dad had a heart attack 6 yrs ago and i went in turmoil for a long while after, and 2 yrs ago he got cancer and 3 days into the grief of it i starting usually my NLP techniques/meditation etc.. and i really didnt have many negative thoughts around it as i did when he had heart attack. We can control our reactions imo even to pain and suffering. Whats natural is when we are fully concious.
Quote from: Lady GAA GAA on November 28, 2011, 07:12:23 PM
Quote from: ross4life on November 28, 2011, 05:21:37 PM
Sad story LL sounds like the lad had a bad case of Bipolar disorder.
If you don't know anything about an illness, never mind being professionally qualified, you probably shouldn't be making flippant diagnoses based on a few lines of text.
Professionally qualified what like a psychiatrist whom throws a shit load of pills or gives electric shocks? All i said was "sounds like" & i know plenty about Bipolar disorder condition. Maybe you shouldn't get so uptight on a few lines of text.
Quote from: SLIGONIAN on November 28, 2011, 08:09:58 PM
Quote from: The Iceman on November 28, 2011, 07:46:57 PM
You are right Muppet that nobody really understands what was going on with whoever committed suicide. Its a horrible horrible way to have someone stolen from your life. I lost a good mate at Uni through suicide and nobody knows why. I think that is why so many people would call it selfish, because of the devastation it leaves behind and the questions. They are all selfish responses in themselves, to death, but all natural.
A horrible reality.
God Bless the Wife and kids left behind and the wider family circle. Hopefully they find comfort in the tributes pouring in for the man.
An unconcious act is when your mind controls you and you go missing, it happens when the suffering your experience is too much, you go on autopilot to survive it but it is very dangerous because you relinquish control of the mind and are no longer at the wheel. Simplest explaination is when someone makes you angry and you react well your reaction is unconcious, they push your button and it triggers the reaction, you turn into a robot. The question is what triggered this unconcious charge in Gary and it must of been massive for him to react the way he did. So imo there are all unconcious reactions, not selfish.
I started working on my mind yrs ago because of health issues, grief is actually a unconcious reaction. My Dad had a heart attack 6 yrs ago and i went in turmoil for a long while after, and 2 yrs ago he got cancer and 3 days into the grief of it i starting usually my NLP techniques/meditation etc.. and i really didnt have many negative thoughts around it as i did when he had heart attack. We can control our reactions imo even to pain and suffering. Whats natural is when we are fully concious.
I meant that our reactions to death are natural. Applying NLP techniques to overcome your natural tendencies does not mean you are more conscious and everyone else is on autopilot, I would argue. It means you understand how the mind works more than most.
I am an NLP practitioner myself.
Quote from: muppet on November 28, 2011, 07:35:16 PM
Agreed.
People who describe it as a selfish act really need education.
After the shock wore off about this awful news - my mind starting doing the usual thing that most of us do - reaching for threads of things we could relate to with Gary Speed, or with the depression buzz word that was flying around in the immediate aftermath (has there been any confirmation of this?) - and I started thinking about his kids. Not his great life, nor his wife nor his heading ability, nor the turn around with wales - but the kids. And how could he actually do this - with them left behind.
Selfish
is a harsh term - but for those of us without direct knowledge or experience of depression and suicide - it's not a case of needing an education if that word, or variants of it, crop up at a time like this when you look at what is left behind to carry on after the death. Is it not completely understandable that that word would come up - given so much is still unknown and untalked about? Even if it is ugly? A previous poster mentioned that severe depression results in not being able to find any pleasure in anything in your life. I can understand that. What I cannot understand is the abandonment of the responsibility to his children. That is a hard thing for me to get my head around.
He was a hell of a player - one of my favourites from my youth. His poor family are left behind now and the unbearable pain he must have been in is gone for him. Hopefully it doesnt set in in those left behind.
Quote from: The Iceman on November 28, 2011, 09:10:54 PM
Quote from: SLIGONIAN on November 28, 2011, 08:09:58 PM
Quote from: The Iceman on November 28, 2011, 07:46:57 PM
You are right Muppet that nobody really understands what was going on with whoever committed suicide. Its a horrible horrible way to have someone stolen from your life. I lost a good mate at Uni through suicide and nobody knows why. I think that is why so many people would call it selfish, because of the devastation it leaves behind and the questions. They are all selfish responses in themselves, to death, but all natural.
A horrible reality.
God Bless the Wife and kids left behind and the wider family circle. Hopefully they find comfort in the tributes pouring in for the man.
An unconcious act is when your mind controls you and you go missing, it happens when the suffering your experience is too much, you go on autopilot to survive it but it is very dangerous because you relinquish control of the mind and are no longer at the wheel. Simplest explaination is when someone makes you angry and you react well your reaction is unconcious, they push your button and it triggers the reaction, you turn into a robot. The question is what triggered this unconcious charge in Gary and it must of been massive for him to react the way he did. So imo there are all unconcious reactions, not selfish.
I started working on my mind yrs ago because of health issues, grief is actually a unconcious reaction. My Dad had a heart attack 6 yrs ago and i went in turmoil for a long while after, and 2 yrs ago he got cancer and 3 days into the grief of it i starting usually my NLP techniques/meditation etc.. and i really didnt have many negative thoughts around it as i did when he had heart attack. We can control our reactions imo even to pain and suffering. Whats natural is when we are fully concious.
I meant that our reactions to death are natural. Applying NLP techniques to overcome your natural tendencies does not mean you are more conscious and everyone else is on autopilot, I would argue. It means you understand how the mind works more than most.
I am an NLP practitioner myself.
Would you say that any reactions are unconcious or just all natural? Im not religious but i love the line in the bible when Jesus says "forgive them Father for they know not what they do" This is relevant to Gary in that i believe that saying means there unconcious, who in the right minds would vote to release a murderer like barrabas go free and crucify Jesus. Therefore i believe suicide is an unconcious act where the real person isnt there anymore. Thats my take, no one has to feel the same but it helps me have an inkling of understanding to why such thing happened and leave the trail of despair that will follow as puckoon points out. Maybe im wrong but maybe im right too.
The paps hanging round his house are parasites.
Quote from: Tony Baloney on November 28, 2011, 09:50:39 PM
The paps hanging round his house are parasites.
you're not joking, read all about the bastards below. No scruples whatsoever
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15925515
Very sad news. Great player for his beloved Toffees for a few years before we had to sell him.Always a 7 out of ten player and one of the 1st names on most FF teams at work years ago.
Suicide is still taboo in many circlles.As someone has said the same resources should be put into suicide agencies as road deaths.
Maybe if it was discussed a bit more there would be more understanding of it. Has any ever committed suicide in a soap for example?
Everyone knows families that have been affected by it but no one knows any more than speculation in most cases for the reasons why. There was a show on BBC Northern Ireland last year that would have moved the hardest heart to tears.
Quote from: Hoof Hearted on November 28, 2011, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: Tony Baloney on November 28, 2011, 09:50:39 PM
The paps hanging round his house are parasites.
you're not joking, read all about the b**tards below. No scruples whatsoever
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15925515
Are there posters on here who buy those papers? I have not bought one of those red tabs for close on 15 years I say (before i was married)
Those paps thrive on the public buying their pictures of pain of families that have lost love ones or going through the pain of a marrage break down
Quote from: Puckoon on November 28, 2011, 09:28:13 PM
Quote from: muppet on November 28, 2011, 07:35:16 PM
Agreed.
People who describe it as a selfish act really need education.
After the shock wore off about this awful news - my mind starting doing the usual thing that most of us do - reaching for threads of things we could relate to with Gary Speed, or with the depression buzz word that was flying around in the immediate aftermath (has there been any confirmation of this?) - and I started thinking about his kids. Not his great life, nor his wife nor his heading ability, nor the turn around with wales - but the kids. And how could he actually do this - with them left behind.
Selfish is a harsh term - but for those of us without direct knowledge or experience of depression and suicide - it's not a case of needing an education if that word, or variants of it, crop up at a time like this when you look at what is left behind to carry on after the death. Is it not completely understandable that that word would come up - given so much is still unknown and untalked about? Even if it is ugly? A previous poster mentioned that severe depression results in not being able to find any pleasure in anything in your life. I can understand that. What I cannot understand is the abandonment of the responsibility to his children. That is a hard thing for me to get my head around.
He was a hell of a player - one of my favourites from my youth. His poor family are left behind now and the unbearable pain he must have been in is gone for him. Hopefully it doesnt set in in those left behind.
Selfish does not describe the act.
Those things which mean everything to a person when not depressed, have little value to the same person when depressed.
A person could have a strong sense of duty/responsibility, but have little or nothing left in a state of deep grief or despair, not even for the children.
What gets me are the remarks about people crying as if the crying was a symptom, a mark of how upset the person was.
Shedding tears is a healthy response when a person feels such sadness. Crying is the bodies natural response for you loosen up wherever you are holding in the knotting horrible feelings of grief.
Quote from: Hoof Hearted on November 28, 2011, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: Tony Baloney on November 28, 2011, 09:50:39 PM
The paps hanging round his house are parasites.
you're not joking, read all about the b**tards below. No scruples whatsoever
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15925515
Some shocking stuff there. Just shows you they build you up to knock you down. Absolute scumbags.
There will be some fallout from the whole thing. How high it goes is the question.
Still shocked about Gary Speed. First time I've watched football focus this season was saturday and I'd also just read the guardian article about stan collymore and that unknown footballer who writes the article. Who knows if it was depression but it's a terrible thing.
Suicide is rife in society these days. Have unfortunately known a person and known of a few who have done the same thing. I don't think we can ever understand what will go through their minds. I really feel for the poor wife. She'll have to move out that's for sure as you couldn't live in that house again. She has now to raise kids without a father - travesty.
Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language. Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.
I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.
Awful sad stuff. I am another who doesn't agree with people who term suicide as a selfish act. We haven't walked in the shoes of any person who has committed suicide so who are any of us to say such a thing.
I can't begin to imagine what they must be going through in their minds.
RIP Gary Speed.
Agree with the last two posts. Lazy and ignorant to say it's a selfish act. Nobody knows what is going on in someone else's head. And for them to resort to suicide would break your heart even trying to think what was keeping them down.
One of my best friends took his life in Christmas 2009. He was your stereotypical, centre of attention, joker, womaniser, great craic, friendly, entertainer. Always happy and and always smiling.The last person you'd ever expect. I could never imagine him ever feeling sad, down or lonely. Then one night he had enough, completely out of the blue. Something I will never get my head round :(
With all the the news about Gary Speed this weekend, I was absolutely gobsmacked to hear this morning of the recent suicide of an old friend. A smart, funny, good looking girl in her early thirties who unbeknownst to me had been suffering from depression for a long time and sadly took her own life. Its at times like this that you realize the suicide taboo, being that I am away from Ireland, every had been leaving it to everyone else to tell me, and when I called it was "oh I thought someone would have told you..."
Gutted to hear this news, really took the wind out of the sails today a sad sad loss of a great person.
Quote from: mylestheslasher on November 28, 2011, 11:48:55 PM
Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language. Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.
I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.
Yes Myles and while chastising here for the use of the word
selfish, a view widely held due to lack of
understanding imo ... explain how you would know that they feel they are doing the world and their families a favour ::)
Quote from: Tyrones own on November 29, 2011, 03:57:15 AM
Quote from: mylestheslasher on November 28, 2011, 11:48:55 PM
Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language. Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.
I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.
Yes Myles and while chastising here for the use of the word selfish, a view widely held due to lack of
understanding imo ... explain how you would know that they feel they are doing the world and their families a favour ::)
Well I know someone who suffered (and still does) quite badly with depression and when first admitting to his thoughts about committing suicide that's exactly what he use to say. In fact, he use to say he was selfish by carrying on with life because he was such a burden on the family. They would be better without him, he'd be doing them a favour etc
It was then I stopped thinking suicide was selfish.
Slightly off topic, I wouldnt for one minute call the actions of anyone commnitting suicide as being selfish but I have to say that it is very unfortuate when their actions cause severe repercussions for a third party. There is a bridge called Scammondon Bridge which crosses the M62 between Leeds and Manchester (nicknamed suicide bridge) and a colleague i used to work with was driving along when a body of a man fell to the ground in front of her and she ran over him in her car. The man died and the impact this had on that poor woman was immense. She was a very friendly, outgoing individual but became very reclusive and took a few weeks off work, which became a few more until eventually we found out that she wasnt coping very well and wouldnt be returning. Her marriage has since broken down and I would really fear for her long term well being. Like i said, i would never say the actions of a suicide victim are selfish but in this case it may have claimed another victim.
Quote from: pintsofguinness on November 29, 2011, 08:10:41 AM
Quote from: Tyrones own on November 29, 2011, 03:57:15 AM
Quote from: mylestheslasher on November 28, 2011, 11:48:55 PM
Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language. Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.
I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.
Yes Myles and while chastising here for the use of the word selfish, a view widely held due to lack of
understanding imo ... explain how you would know that they feel they are doing the world and their families a favour ::)
Well I know someone who suffered (and still does) quite badly with depression and when first admitting to his thoughts about committing suicide that's exactly what he use to say. In fact, he use to say he was selfish by carrying on with life because he was such a burden on the family. They would be better without him, he'd be doing them a favour etc
It was then I stopped thinking suicide was selfish.
100% correct there POG. A very close family member of mine has struggled for quite a few years now and this is exactly what they say. In their mind they are a burden to everyone around them, they are worthless, they are causing everyone else undue heartache and everyone would be happier if this person was dead. They don't want to die, but they don't want to continue the way they are and they cant see another option. This is what their mind tells them and they believe it as strongly as you or I would believe that the sky is blue. No amount of re-assurance will change their mind in the same way that you couldnt convince me that the sky is green. Only professional treatment can make a difference, which may be medication, CBT, ECT or all of these techniques. I've unfortunately been in the position of having first hand experience of this but luckily have come out the right side of it for now, but it's an ongoing challenge for the person who is suffering and one day to the next is unpredictable.
It's not a selfish act, it's a medical problem that requires a very specialised understanding and treatment in much the same way as Cancer or any other life threatening illness. What I am told is that although no-one can definitively say what causes mental health problem, that people who suffer from depression have certain chemical imbalances in their brain. The medication attempts to re-align those chemical balances. But every person reacts differently to different medications and the dosage is not determined by age/weight or any other physical feature so getting the right treatment is very difficult.
There is a lack of understanding in general on mental health problems - I dont know how that can be addressed though.
What happened to Gary Speed and his family is tragic and sad. His wife and kids will struggle to cope in the aftermath but unfortunately this is an all too common daily event. Perhaps his high profile will raise awareness of this disease and maybe some good can come off it if it helps prevent further suicides.
RIP Gary Speed.
"My experience of talking to people in distress is that they tell others – even their closest – only a proportion of what bothers them while being simultaneously unaware of all that bothers them."
"We should recall that it's difficult to know a mind that does not know itself."
Phillip Hodson, Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.
very strange
RIP Gary Speed, a tragic loss, very few players are respected by the fans of every club they had played for, that speaks volumes about him.
Quote from: thejuice on November 29, 2011, 11:15:33 AM
"My experience of talking to people in distress is that they tell others – even their closest – only a proportion of what bothers them while being simultaneously unaware of all that bothers them."
"We should recall that it's difficult to know a mind that does not know itself."
Phillip Hodson, Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
Totally agree with that, how many people are actually aware of how there mind works?
Quote from: Clown on November 29, 2011, 11:20:27 AM
there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.
very strange
What would his agent know? Maybe he hid it well.
Quote from: seafoid on November 29, 2011, 12:58:18 PM
Quote from: Clown on November 29, 2011, 11:20:27 AM
there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.
very strange
What would his agent know? Maybe he hid it well.
A bit harsh...his agent was also his best man at his wedding
Quote from: seafoid on November 29, 2011, 12:58:18 PM
Quote from: Clown on November 29, 2011, 11:20:27 AM
there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.
very strange
What would his agent know? Maybe he hid it well.
I know some lads who say you could see it in his eyes in photos taken the day before ::)
Great player, and great person by all accounts. The good that it will do is lessen the stigma of depression - his death shows it can affect anyone.
I always thought the NI ad about depression is a great one - the lad joking and being the centre of the craic with his mates then taking off his 'happy' mask when they left- seems very accurate to me-noone can know what anyone is going through
See the rumours now that big Duncan Ferguson is the father to Gary Speed's 2nd child...
just google duncan ferguson / gary speed and you'll see for yourselves... shocker!
Quote from: sammymaguire on December 08, 2011, 01:28:20 PM
See the rumours now that big Duncan Ferguson is the father to Gary Speed's 2nd child...
just google duncan ferguson / gary speed and you'll see for yourselves... shocker!
Seen that on Twitter this morning. Shocking if true. A terrible rumour if not.