Well, anyone any funny stories about run ins with the cops or getting arrested? Not talking about anything too serious here, just light hearted.
When I was at uni, I had no money for a taxi home from the Odyssey to the Holylands but got it anyway, told the fella to stop at Botanic for me to go the bank machine. I was airlocked and only ran about ten yards before slowing down to a stroll. He caught me and brought me to the police station at the bottom of Botanic near the Halifax.
They put me in a wee holding cell for about half an hour to sober me up then brought me round to my house where I had to get a lend of £4 off a housemate. That was the end of my brushes with the law/
Got done by the same Garda three times in the space of about 15 mins for drinking the same naggin of Jameson on my way through Temple Bar on the way to the Trinity Ball two years ago. He wasn't best pleased.
Think he realised that I knew for a fact he was never going to bother with the hassle of a write up and eventually made me pour it out down a drain.
Quote from: Don Johnson on March 07, 2011, 11:43:08 PM
Well, anyone any funny stories about run ins with the cops or getting arrested? Not talking about anything too serious here, just light hearted.
When I was at uni, I had no money for a taxi home from the Odyssey to the Holylands but got it anyway, told the fella to stop at Botanic for me to go the bank machine. I was airlocked and only ran about ten yards before slowing down to a stroll. He caught me and brought me to the police station at the bottom of Botanic near the Halifax.
They put me in a wee holding cell for about half an hour to sober me up then brought me round to my house where I had to get a lend of £4 off a housemate. That was the end of my brushes with the law/
Amateur. My mates used to get the taxi to drop them off at the end of a lane that was so rough only a tractor could get up it. One of them would fake being sick to make sure the driver stopped, the others would get out to "make sure he's OK" and next thing you know the three of them were away like the hammers of blue f*ck. Never got caught even though they did it for a spell of about six weeks.
I met him one time at my local McDonalds. He ordered a milkshake just. I had a McChicken Sandwich Meal. I sat in. He took out.
(http://www.realbollywood.com/news/up_images/11126653.jpg)
Caught by the fuzz
Well I was, still on a buzz
In the back of the van
With my head in my hands
Just like a bad dream
I was, only fifteen
If only my brother could be here now
He'd get me out and sort me out alright
I know I should have stayed at home tonight
Locked in a cell
Feeling un-well
I talked to a man
He said, It's better to tell
'Who sold you the blow?'
'Well it was no-one I know'
If only you'd tell us, we'd let you go
We'll make it hard for you my son, so tell us what you know
We'll make you wish you'd stayed at home tonight
(Ooh wah ooh wah ooh)
Here comes my mum
Well she, she knows what I've done
'Just tell them the truth
'You know where it's from
'You've blackened our name
'Well you, you should be ashamed
'If only your father could see you now
'He'd break down, and he'd throw you out for sure
'I never should have let you out tonight'
(Tonight,) tonight, (tonight,) tonight, (tonight,) tonight, (tonight,) tonight, (tonight)
I was lifted once for indecent exposure on the M1. It was a mistake as I was sleepwalking and had walked two miles from home to the motorway. I usually sleep with pyjamas on but that night had been my birthday and things were different.
Got lifted by the guards for being completley hammered outside a well known Dublin nightclub.. I was convinced I was sober enough to be allowed into the club but the bouncers had other ideas, so I kept arguing with them until the guards lifted me and 'cuffed' me. Was put in a cell for a couple of hours until I sobered up and they let me go! Hangover from hell the next day! :(
When I saw the speeding ticket and run in with the law threads I thought Tyrone Girl has been busy.
Way back in my teenage years, I missed the last train out of Dundalk. It was dead quiet, late at night and not a soul was around the station. Another guy strolled in to the waiting room. After a nice chat, I lit up a joint and asked if he would like a puff. Turned out he was an off-duty Garda,. He struggled with his conscience for 10 minutes or so but duty got the better of generosity and he took me down to the station to book me.
Naturally the story attracted a bit of attention around the station but I took the embarrassment on the chin and joined in the mirth.
Many months later, I got a summons to appear at Dundalk court. I travelled up on the day and secured the services of the first solicitor in the first office I saw. He was ancient. I thought it was an open and shut case so I didn't imagine I needed a legal wizard. I left the solicitor's office. The only thing he had said was hmmm hmmmm as he tried to remember the idea that had flashed through his head some 5 seconds previous.
I went to the Courthouse and tried my best to look upstanding, intelligent with a promising future, despite the details of the capture indicating that the chances of that happening were slim.
The charge was read out, before I could cry out my guilty plea, my raggedy old solicitor raised an objection.
In the space of 5 seconds, right before my eyes. he was transformed into Perry Mason. He went on for at least 5 minutes non stop. I heard something about 6 months limit and that my warrant was out of date. He gave the judge a look at the relevant law in the law book and the Judge said he had no other option but to dismiss the case against me because they delayed too long with delivering the warrant.
My future remained intact. The Argus would never get know or report the details of how I was captured. I met the Guards outside and they were in great form. At least we were quits on the dumb side of things.
Great story, well told.
Quote from: Eamonnca1 on March 08, 2011, 12:11:30 AM
Amateur. My mates used to get the taxi to drop them off at the end of a lane that was so rough only a tractor could get up it. One of them would fake being sick to make sure the driver stopped, the others would get out to "make sure he's OK" and next thing you know the three of them were away like the hammers of blue f*ck. Never got caught even though they did it for a spell of about six weeks.
So on a number of occasions they stole, in a pre-meditated and planned manner, from hard-working men who provide a much-valued, poorly remunerated* service late at night etc
Good "mates" of yours, by any chance? ::)
* - When they get paid, that is
Me and my friend Rob held up a bank using guitars and heavy metal poses to intimidate the staff and security
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU
A mate of mine, well he is actually known to quite a few on here, got arrested recently for being drunk and disorderly late at night.
He was brought to the local cop shop, and put into a one man cell for the night as they could get no sense out of him, or where he was from.
When he was in the cell he thought it would be a great idea to shit all over it. When the cops seen (or smelt) this they gave him a protective suit to put on.
The next morning they sent him home, he was happy as larry to tell us this story (though his identity will remain withheld from the board!)
I know a lad who got caught urinating one night in the Hoyland area. Police caught him, and booked him with a warning. About a few months later he got caught doing the same thing. This time he was charged with indecent exposure and had to/still has to go to court. I dunno if his has made his court appearance yet or how it has went, but I do know since the second offence the idiot was once again caught peeing in the street!
Lawnseed is gonna go mad when he hears of all this criminal activity!
Quote from: Evil Genius on March 08, 2011, 04:49:12 PM
Quote from: Eamonnca1 on March 08, 2011, 12:11:30 AM
Amateur. My mates used to get the taxi to drop them off at the end of a lane that was so rough only a tractor could get up it. One of them would fake being sick to make sure the driver stopped, the others would get out to "make sure he's OK" and next thing you know the three of them were away like the hammers of blue f*ck. Never got caught even though they did it for a spell of about six weeks.
So on a number of occasions they stole, in a pre-meditated and planned manner, from hard-working men who provide a much-valued, poorly remunerated* service late at night etc
Good "mates" of yours, by any chance? ::)
* - When they get paid, that is
It's ok, he (the driver) would hardly have a degree.
Quote from: pintsofguinness on March 08, 2011, 08:27:29 PM
Quote from: Evil Genius on March 08, 2011, 04:49:12 PM
Quote from: Eamonnca1 on March 08, 2011, 12:11:30 AM
Amateur. My mates used to get the taxi to drop them off at the end of a lane that was so rough only a tractor could get up it. One of them would fake being sick to make sure the driver stopped, the others would get out to "make sure he's OK" and next thing you know the three of them were away like the hammers of blue f*ck. Never got caught even though they did it for a spell of about six weeks.
So on a number of occasions they stole, in a pre-meditated and planned manner, from hard-working men who provide a much-valued, poorly remunerated* service late at night etc
Good "mates" of yours, by any chance? ::)
* - When they get paid, that is
It's ok, he (the driver) would hardly have a degree.
:D
In Whitehead in Co. Antrim. Mate and sitting near Blackhead coastal path one sunday morn, seen police car approaching. Thought it easier to run than explain things. Chased us on foot for a while. Was ok till mate started to call them black, well u know whats. Chased us all around Blackhead aera and then fired 2 shots over our heads from a distance. Fecked if we were going to stop. Don't think they would have brought us to the station for just a cup of tea. Got away anyway.
Quote from: Don Johnson on March 07, 2011, 11:43:08 PM
Well, anyone any funny stories about run ins with the cops or getting arrested? Not talking about anything too serious here, just light hearted.
When I was at uni, I had no money for a taxi home from the Odyssey to the Holylands but got it anyway, told the fella to stop at Botanic for me to go the bank machine. I was airlocked and only ran about ten yards before slowing down to a stroll. He caught me and brought me to the police station at the bottom of Botanic near the Halifax.
They put me in a wee holding cell for about half an hour to sober me up then brought me round to my house where I had to get a lend of £4 off a housemate. That was the end of my brushes with the law/
Snap Don. I also did an hours hard time in the exact same station.
I was caught carrying a couple of letters from the Virgin cinema sign advertising films ( I think it was Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels). Given a lecture on vandalising property and an hour in a room to sober up.
Wouldn't mind but those familar with Botanic in those days may remember that the red light district ( this makes it seem more glamorous than it was)was just around the corner from the cinema. 5 mins earlier I had been given the going rate ( I hadn't asked for it) by one of the ladies ( I say ladies....) who was working that night. The cops weren't bothered with them.
Was in the Maxol garage on the Lisburn Road (gone now) one night about 2004, right next to a cop shop when these two spides walked in. Neither of them noticed the in uniform cops in the shop and shouted to the other one lets get some munchies here and go smoke this joint. He was promptly arrested for possesion
Quote from: David McKeown on March 08, 2011, 11:46:31 PM
Was in the Maxol garage on the Lisburn Road (gone now) one night about 2004, right next to a cop shop when these two spides walked in. Neither of them noticed the in uniform cops in the shop and shouted to the other one lets get some munchies here and go smoke this joint. He was promptly arrested for possesion
Ha, that Maxol was about 25 yards from one of the biggest cop shops in town!
Quote from: gallsman on March 09, 2011, 01:04:19 AM
Quote from: David McKeown on March 08, 2011, 11:46:31 PM
Was in the Maxol garage on the Lisburn Road (gone now) one night about 2004, right next to a cop shop when these two spides walked in. Neither of them noticed the in uniform cops in the shop and shouted to the other one lets get some munchies here and go smoke this joint. He was promptly arrested for possesion
Ha, that Maxol was about 25 yards from one of the biggest cop shops in town!
Don't talk to me about it, I lived across the road in my student days and had to evacuate several times due to car bombs in front of it.
A car bomb would give me the sh**ts too.
Mate of mine was steamin at the queens student union and resisted expulsion by the bouncers. The Fuzz was called and he was brought back to the station and put in a holding cell to sober up. He proceeded to strip his clothes off and tossed them in the corner, then in some sort of dirty protest, he pissed on his own colthes on the floor. He had to walk home the next day to the Holy lands in a PSNI issued tracksuit!!
Quote from: HiMucker on March 09, 2011, 11:58:39 AM
Mate of mine was steamin at the queens student union and resisted expulsion by the bouncers. The Fuzz was called and he was brought back to the station and put in a holding cell to sober up. He proceeded to strip his clothes off and tossed them in the corner, then in some sort of dirty protest, he pissed on his own colthes on the floor. He had to walk home the next day to the Holy lands in a PSNI issued tracksuit!!
:D
Anyway who has the contract for the PSNI trackuits, wonder could O'Neills pick it up, that would look sweet in the O'Neills shop
Quote from: Hardy on March 09, 2011, 09:56:32 AM
A car bomb would give me the sh**ts too.
A few skids is the least you can suffer in the cause of Irish unification!! ;D
Quote from: HiMucker on March 09, 2011, 11:58:39 AM
Mate of mine was steamin at the queens student union and resisted expulsion by the bouncers. The Fuzz was called and he was brought back to the station and put in a holding cell to sober up. He proceeded to strip his clothes off and tossed them in the corner, then in some sort of dirty protest, he pissed on his own colthes on the floor. He had to walk home the next day to the Holy lands in a PSNI issued tracksuit!!
Almost the exact same thing happened to someone I know just at the weekend - for some reason he decided to strip naked and ended up going home in the tracksuit!
They seem like decent lads - giving a tracksuit to a kn**ker who urinates on his own clothes like a buck goat. I'd let him walk home in his own saturated gear.
Quote from: Hardy on March 09, 2011, 12:56:36 PM
They seem like decent lads - giving a tracksuit to a kn**ker who urinates on his own clothes like a buck goat. I'd let him walk home in his own saturated gear.
Are these tracksuits now a badge of honour for the dim witted?
Quote from: Hardy on March 09, 2011, 12:56:36 PM
They seem like decent lads - giving a tracksuit to a kn**ker who urinates on his own clothes like a buck goat. I'd let him walk home in his own saturated gear.
Me too. By the way, we don't use the phrase 'buck goat' enough :D
Quote from: gallsman on March 09, 2011, 01:04:19 AM
Quote from: David McKeown on March 08, 2011, 11:46:31 PM
Was in the Maxol garage on the Lisburn Road (gone now) one night about 2004, right next to a cop shop when these two spides walked in. Neither of them noticed the in uniform cops in the shop and shouted to the other one lets get some munchies here and go smoke this joint. He was promptly arrested for possesion
Ha, that Maxol was about 25 yards from one of the biggest cop shops in town!
Was involved in another incident that happened at the same place a couple of years later. Not so much funny as scary this one though. About 4 am one morning I decided to go to the same shop for a drink, being the lazy git that I am I jumped in the car at Chadwick street with a mate of mine and drove towards the garage. As I came to the top of Chadwick street I looked to my left and saw a motorbike in the far inside lane, so I completed my manoeuvre and turned right into the outside lane of the Lisburn road. Next thing I know the bike pulls up behind me and starts gesturing towards me. I ignore this so he pulls in front of me and again I ignore him as I have no idea who he is and drive on to the garage. The next thing I know the guy pulls up beside me and opens my passenger door and starts trying to pull my mate out of the car. He then takes off his helmet and screams "I'll do you wait here to I get my uniform on I'll f**king do you" The guy then heads towards the cop shop. I follow him and report whats happened next day I phone the ombudsman and make a complaint. He was a complete dick. About two months later I get a letter from the ombudsman apologising and telling me he was disciplined
Quote from: Evil Genius on March 08, 2011, 04:49:12 PM
So on a number of occasions they stole, in a pre-meditated and planned manner, from hard-working men who provide a much-valued, poorly remunerated* service late at night etc
Good "mates" of yours, by any chance? ::)
* - When they get paid, that is
[/quote]
For a change we agree, EG!!
Quote from: AZOffaly on March 09, 2011, 01:30:47 PM
Quote from: Hardy on March 09, 2011, 12:56:36 PM
They seem like decent lads - giving a tracksuit to a kn**ker who urinates on his own clothes like a buck goat. I'd let him walk home in his own saturated gear.
Me too. By the way, we don't use the phrase 'buck goat' enough :D
You're right. I'm going to try and work it into more of my posts.
I had to pick my sister up at the airport at about 3.30 in the morning a few years back. So im tearing over the Glenshane, nothing mental, about 80-85mph to the good. And i see the dreaded blue flashing lights (by the way some of them new cars with the fancy headlights can make you dung your nags from time to time). So i Mirror, signal and pull over into the hard shoulder. Cop comes up to the window and asks for my licence heres what follows.
Cop: do you know what speed you were doing
Me: Yes, was doing about 80mph
Cop: Speed limits 70, thats extremely dangerous
Me: Officer, i know, im just picking my sister up at the airport. Its the middle of the night and the glenshane is a big open road i dont think its that dangerous to be honest
Cop: What happend if Mr Fog was out
Me: Well, Mr HiMucker, would have put Mr foot on Mr Break, and slowed Mr Car down
Cop: Mist or Fog!!
True story
The only police record I have is their greatest hits album.
Remember hearing a story years ago when I was on work experience of a guy who was brought to Dungannon court for speeding. It was the time that a police officer did the prosecution in court. I'd doubt it's true but funny none the less.
After the guy was stopped by a Constable Smith he was asked if he had anything to say and he responded "the defendant had nothing to say, however I Constable Smith would like to proclaim my undying love for you your honour. For many years I have been deeply attracted to you and I feel only right that I now tell you this". The defendant said this in the hope Constable Smith would read it out, in the end though it was a different cop prosecuting And the defendant was also prosecuted for contempt of court.
Quote from: HiMucker on March 10, 2011, 10:53:15 AM
I had to pick my sister up at the airport at about 3.30 in the morning a few years back. So im tearing over the Glenshane, nothing mental, about 80-85mph to the good. And i see the dreaded blue flashing lights (by the way some of them new cars with the fancy headlights can make you dung your nags from time to time). So i Mirror, signal and pull over into the hard shoulder. Cop comes up to the window and asks for my licence heres what follows.
Cop: do you know what speed you were doing
Me: Yes, was doing about 80mph
Cop: Speed limits 70, thats extremely dangerous
Me: Officer, i know, im just picking my sister up at the airport. Its the middle of the night and the glenshane is a big open road i dont think its that dangerous to be honest
Cop: What happend if Mr Fog was out
Me: Well, Mr HiMucker, would have put Mr foot on Mr Break, and slowed Mr Car down
Cop: Mist or Fog!!
True story
Mr Cop doesn't know his speed limits then!!
Why let the truth get in the way of a good story. Do I change that to 50 or 60 then? Im Not much a stickler for the speed limits :)
down at a weddin in enniskillen yrs ago, in the early days of breathalysers;
i wasnt drivin, mate was; we was headin back past killyhelvin (?); pulled in by cops;
mate gonna get breathalysed; police officer starts explainin process to him...
"Now if it its green, thats good...if its red, thats bad", to which my mate replies "what if its orange, do you shoot me?"
;D ;D ;D
cue silence from the policeman.
o how we loll'ed;
he got away with bein over the limit, think he was borderline;