What's your relationship with alcohol?

Started by Boycey, October 12, 2018, 11:27:30 PM

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tonto1888

Pbat well done on 100 days. I remember that milestone. I'm 1000 days ahead of you and it's one day at a time. I was overwhelmed when I gave up. How can I go the rest of my life without booze. After a while it dawned on me. I don't have to. I just have to go the rest of the day without it. When I got up the next day it was the same thing. A bit of a cliche but for me it works

The Iceman

Quote from: pbat on October 19, 2018, 11:23:07 AM
I close friend of mine had a 30 years battle with the booze, like myself. He married late in life (mid 40's) but was still on the sauce very heavily. He had 2 kids in quick succession but never stopped him. It wasn't till the wife tossed him out and he was sleeping rough for a while that he got stopped.

That's about 5 years ago, he is back living at home. Relationship is going from strength to strength and he is a great father. Also he never looked better. And I have to admit I am very proud of him and jealous also.

But I get really angry when down the local and his name comes up. His so called mates are he's a bollacks, what did he ever really drink, its all the wife's problem she knew what she married, why not let him have a couple of pints.

I had many a good session with him, I do missed the odd day on the lash with him but am glad he is where he is in his life and hopes that comes to me someday.

I am an alcoholic but unfortunately I feel it is misunderstood by so many. I have attended AA meetings where people talk about there illness. This term for alcoholism doesn't not sit easy with me, I have seen illness in my father for 7 years which ended up killing him a man who never drank or smoked in his life. But also being told its a selfishness or a lack of will power is my problem also angers me. I know the decision to drink in my case is selfish, I would count myself intelligent man but logic and intelligence goes out the window when drink is involved.

I posted last week about aiming for 100 days on Wednesday, I did it. Not posting here looking any pats on the back or well done but to tell how my heads works and maybe someone with a close family member who is struggling can take something from it to help them.

Wednesday I got through no issue, never crossed my mind to drink. Sister messaged me that night to say well done and that was all the thought I had about it. Thursday morning woke went to the gym at 6am feeling great. Headed to work and have to walk past one of them shit holes that is Weatherspoons about 7.15. The drink delivery lorry was loading out.

Logic went out the window and all that entered my head was if I go for a Fry by the time I eat it will be 8am and weatherspoons will be serving. My head was telling me look you've done the 100 days, proved all the feckers wrong who said I couldn't do it so I have no need to do 101 days. All day yesterday I had to battle the urge and I was close to the wire a few time but I got there, today I have no interest in drink. That kind of messed up thinking is very hard to explain to other people. But if I had went yesterday that would have been me till at least start of November.
Good work there. I think you definitely can't hide from this so facing a challenge like you did on Thursday will only make you stronger.
It's a real illness. I posted earlier in the thread my cousin died of it at 35. His body just couldn't take any more abuse. Some people can drink and smoke heavily until they're 90 because they're just made that way - its genetics. Others cannot.  None of us should.
Keep going to the gym. Keep going to your AA meetings. Get out in nature as much as possible. Look up an event they're running in Armagh - Reignite your ultimate power. You'll find great strength in the people and learn a lot of things to help you move on... good luck - keep us posted on your journey!
I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

pbat

BC the plan would be to eventually not worryng about days. Work involves use of two week look a heads and milestones that I draft every Monday so for the moment I am tying the days of into the 2 week programme. Big milestone next is Christmas.

brokencrossbar1

Quote from: pbat on October 19, 2018, 12:58:12 PM
BC the plan would be to eventually not worryng about days. Work involves use of two week look a heads and milestones that I draft every Monday so for the moment I am tying the days of into the 2 week programme. Big milestone next is Christmas.

Thanks,  I have seen extended family members struggle with alcohol and drug addiction and I just was curious if this was part of the treatment regime.

Tony Baloney

Good work pbat. Christmas is naturally a time where it will be tight going but you seem to have a system that works so keep at it.

And you see you fellas that are drinking red wine in a round...

Milltown Row2

Quote from: Tony Baloney on October 19, 2018, 01:58:16 PM
Good work pbat. Christmas is naturally a time where it will be tight going but you seem to have a system that works so keep at it.

And you see you fellas that are drinking red wine in a round...

I was out with the lads one time and we were all in rounds and the mate shouted over, what ya having? I said a bottle red please! He sickened me rightly and boy was I fucked trying to keep up with them!
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Ea

Therealdonald

Great thread. Alot of the boys that you battle with normally I'm looking at you MR2, you find yourself reading the posts and empathising. Suppose being honest I'm at a bit of a crossroads. I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic or not. I enjoy a drink most weekends when the sport allows me. When there's no football to be played, it's nearly like an invitation to drink all weekend. I realise myself I'm probably drinking too much but I can't seem to get a handle on it. Had a big weekend of it last week, and said that'll do me now to Christmas. Sitting watching TV last night, I more or less manufactured a row with the woman just so I could get away for a couple of hours. So I text my mate, we met up played pool and I'd my 5 or 6 pints. It's never affected me with work. I always get up for work. When I was younger and living in the city, there was nothing thought of a 4day session or whatever. Get up go to class, then back on it. Now it has me wondering if I'm on the slippery slope that's talked about. I come from a background of alcohol abuse, so its always eating at you if you're the same. I don't know if its just a lack of will power on my behalf, or if this is the start of it.

whitey

Best advice ever given to me (when I was drinking heavily in my youth).......stick to drinking pints and stick to drinking at the weekend.

If you're struggling give yourself a weekly pint allowance and stick to it like your life depends on it (coz it does)-eg 10 pints.  That will give you 1 heavy, 2 decent or 3 light nights out

Tell people straight up you're reigning it in and if they don't like/respect it you need to find new friends

Ask the bartender for a pint and a pint of water at the same time, And tell him you'll need the water refilled when it empty. Chances are if it's your local you spend north of €1000 a year in there, (and have been doing so for years) so feel no embarrassment about asking for a pint of water

If all that doesn't work......time to pack it in completely


BennyCake

Fair play, pbat. Full credit to you. I'm sure it wasn't easy. Keep it up.

Milltown Row2

Quote from: Therealdonald on October 19, 2018, 04:13:56 PM
Great thread. Alot of the boys that you battle with normally I'm looking at you MR2, you find yourself reading the posts and empathising. Suppose being honest I'm at a bit of a crossroads. I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic or not. I enjoy a drink most weekends when the sport allows me. When there's no football to be played, it's nearly like an invitation to drink all weekend. I realise myself I'm probably drinking too much but I can't seem to get a handle on it. Had a big weekend of it last week, and said that'll do me now to Christmas. Sitting watching TV last night, I more or less manufactured a row with the woman just so I could get away for a couple of hours. So I text my mate, we met up played pool and I'd my 5 or 6 pints. It's never affected me with work. I always get up for work. When I was younger and living in the city, there was nothing thought of a 4day session or whatever. Get up go to class, then back on it. Now it has me wondering if I'm on the slippery slope that's talked about. I come from a background of alcohol abuse, so its always eating at you if you're the same. I don't know if its just a lack of will power on my behalf, or if this is the start of it.

A functioning alcoholic is a term that's used a lot, and depends on your lifestyle. I've a few friends who have jobs as directors and owners, so a lot of lunch meetings in pubs restaurants or hotels, deals struck on the golf course followed by drink or just living in hotels during the week! They would be letting their hair down at the weekend and be more booze.. if you're taking that much then you're a functioning alcoholic..

if you're are boozing on your own or missing work or lying to friends family about your daily intake then that's the slippery slope for me..

people are hung up on amounts of drink, the unit values vary so someone's 14 units maximum might be to someone else 18 units a week and that's their level! I'll have 3 beers tonight possibly and a glass or two of red! That's nearly the weekly intake! I'm not an alcoholic if I break the 14 unit guidelines.

None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Ea

Puckoon

Enjoy a drink on an almost daily basis, particularly when travelling a lot for work. Lots of dinners, lonely hotel stays etc..

1-2 glasses of Wine on a school night, maybe 2-3 on a weekend.

The odd Gin martini if I am trying to get a solid buzz and stay off the beer, it's a great option for 1 and done. At 38 beer is too much calories, carbs - and frankly beer is starting to bore me as well as leave me feeling bloated and lethargic the next morning. Wednesday night I treated myself in San Fran to 4 pints of stout. Cant get decent stout in this city and Fiddlers Green had some great pints flowing.

Moving into the colder weather, there will be a whiskey or 2 in front of the fire watching the telly at the weekends, or maybe in the hip flask on the golf course.
Rarely go on the absolute tear and almost never go out at night to a pub, I like being at home and functioning with the family in the mornings and not feeling absolutely useless.

Marijuana is a great downshifter and really halts the alcohol consumption. I wonder sometimes if having a drink every day is a bad thing, but it doesn't overly concern me.

ONeill

It's like ateing cake. Bad for ye like but sure what the hell. If you can enjoy life and still drink the bit out, go for it. You're only alive for a wee while. No point being a healthy corpse.
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.

ziggy90

Funny, I never think about dying whilst imbibing.  :)
Questions that shouldn't be asked shouldn't be answered

MoChara


ziggy90

Quote from: MoChara on October 23, 2018, 09:12:28 AM
Quote from: ziggy90 on October 20, 2018, 01:09:58 PM
Funny, I never think about dying whilst imbibing.  :)

Only the day after

Funnily enough the thought did cross my mind yesterday.  :o
Questions that shouldn't be asked shouldn't be answered