Author Topic: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell  (Read 839 times)

seafoid

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18014
    • View Profile
Born Sloppy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTFrCbQGyvM

There was a tsunami warning on all coastal waters and on the Irish Sea rising slowly with great vengeance and furious anger and the Department of Finance was down at Paddy Power putting a bet on the farm. You literally couldn’t make it up. Nobody knew what they were doing.  If it was golf he would have been using a colander. That would be ridiculous. But it was finance so anything goes. Nobody cares in Dublin elite circles. As long as you wear a tie.  And don't pronounce s as sh . That would be backward.

Mise Eire collapsed while pitching a sand wedge onto the 9th green of Elm Park Golf club on the 25th of September 2008 as the water rose to her knees. She was rushed in a boat to St Vincents, to the Jesus Mary and St Joseph ward.

It was a huge deal because Mise Eire  had been looking great that afternoon and was in great form, according to Standard and Poors, an old business acquaintance. She was attended by the most eminent surgeons in the country including Mr Biff Taoiseach, an English surgeon called Merrill Lynch, doctors from PWC, Arthur Cox and the AG (short for all grand), and her personal doctor, Pat Neary. Everyone in the room apart from Merrill Lynch and Mise Eire had been to the Gonzaga in their head.

None of them had a notion about financial tail risk. You must be joking. Nobody called Raidio na Gaeltachta either. Sure what would they know beyond in Connemara speaking that dead language. f**king didlyi shite. Sure some of them wouldn’t even know what a CDO squared was.  And none of them had gone to Gonzaga.

We think it was 25 September because there was no date on the memo. They must have been too busy. Yeah. Too busy.

And remembering nothing

The doctors and surgeons were at a loss to explain what was happening. Pat Neary wasn’t even sure Mise Eire was sick. He thought she might just need a few bottles of Lucozade. Nothing to worry about.

D Doyle had been to Gonzaga. He thought it would be good to know how much dopamine mixed with debt Mise Eire’s kids  had been taking over the previous decade. He hadn’t done anything about it before because he was from Dublin and he wouldn’t have a notion what to do about it. Sure how would he? And nobody cared about accountability. It was only f**king culchie money anyway.   

Mise Eire  was responsible for all their drug bills. This was news to her, according to Paul Reynolds who was looking forward to some gory corpses. Three of the boys-  Abe, Boy and Anglo were suspected of mainlining dopamine and crushing it with debt for an even deeper high. 

Drive boy, dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And AAA rated  boy
And all in your innerspace boy
You had
Hands girl boy
And steel boy
You had dopamine boy
I've grown my balance sheet
so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy

The sons were always claonta to listen to a bit of plámás. Especially if she was blonde and worked in Golem Sachs. Roysh
Everybody in the small room was shocked. Nobody knew they had been taking so much debt and dopamine, apart from Neary . There was no record. Neary didn’t do records. They had to guess.   This is what they always did. Always. Because it was the only way to do it. Fáilte go Baile Atha Cliath. Jaysus.

Samuel Beckett
“This tired, abstract anger –inarticulate passive opposition –always the same thing in Dublin.”

Patrick Kavanagh
“What is distressing is walking eagerly to go nowhere in particular”

Various interventions were discussed. Lucozade, guarantees, nationalist songs and a bad mother approach. RTE’s mother was very interested in old poetry and she always called a guarantee a baránta. About 350 years earlier she had a bit of heart trouble so she went to St Vincents. The head surgeon in St Vincents at the time was a Mr Cromwell, from England, and he wouldn’t let her out of his office unless she agreed to a symphiosotomy. She told him to f**k off even though she could barely walk. Mórtas cine. Mr Cromwell sent her to the Regional in Galway in a handcart. Her personal surgeon , called a file in the style of the time , wrote the following on her medical record :

Féach na Gaeil go leair gan bharánta
‚s ná bígí ag caol faoi dhul siar
 
Mise Eire  will never die but she wanted to be able to enjoy concerts by the Gloaming again. Plus the Sunday Game. Because she was so old, timeless, she couldn’t be covered by the VHI. She had so many children she didn’t know what to do so she set up a pension fund for them, called the NPRF.  The Department of Finance advised her not to keep it in her shoe in case some tinkers might come and steal it.  Roysh
-----------------------------------------------
The Department of Finance is from Dublin, is really dull and very bossy. He thinks he knows everything and there is only one way to do anything, which is his way. DoF went to Gonzaga . He is a hoor for process but he is quite sloppy when it comes to attention to detail. He hangs around with the accountants who think the way he does. 

And remembering nothing boy
You like my tin horn boy and get
Wet like an angel
Derail

They decided on a guarantee even though there were no numbers on the back of the fag packet.

Shouting bailout bailout bailout
Mega mega solvency  thing
Mega mega solvency thing
So many things to see and do
In the DoF do not hole true
Blonde going back to Fianna Fail
Bailout  Bailout Bailout going back to Gonzaga
Hi mammy are you having fun
And now are you on your way
To a new tension
Headache

Féach na Gaeil go leair gan bharánta
‚s na bígí ag caol faoi dhul siar

This was to fulful Scripture
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later Merrill Lynch was in town and they went for a few pints. Merrill Lynch wanted to update the department of finance on the state of his mother and especially how to pay for her treatment. Merrill Lynch was very earnest. The treatment could be paid for out for convertible capital or upside or downside but the maximum cost would be around EUR 10.5 Bn plus VAT.  Tops. DoF wasn’t listening. He was following the arse of the waitress as it returned to base in the kitchen. ,“Grand” . the Department of Finance was always saying.  “Grand” . Everyone in Dublin says Grand. Or Grond.

And remembering nothing

Nothing to worry about. 
That would be manageable, said Merrill Lynch.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Finnish chainsaw and amputation expert called Olli Rehn was working in St Vincent’s mother hospital in Brussels on the Husqvarna contract. He was over in Dublin about 2 years later. The Department of finance offered to bring him out to Doheny and Nesbits because there was a cash machine on the way and he could get the EUR 10.5 bn after putting a bet on the farm. 
Olli was a Calvinist. He said he wanted to stay in the office. He wasn’t interested in a pint. He wasn’t interested in tea are you sure or even chocolate Kimberley. Olli was weird. After about 10 minutes he produced the final bill. It was over EUR 100 bn.

The department of finace had a weakness.100 bn would not be manageable.

Labour said our way or Frankfurt’s way. Olli waved the chainsaw at them. That shut Labour up. 
Grand is worth EUR 1000. You would need to say Grand 100 million times to get to EUR 100 bn. If you had an egg. And Sally O’Brien and the way she might look at you.

The department of Finance did the Cath Eachdhroma facepalm.
In Corca Dhúibhne it is called the Cath Chionn Tsáile facepalm
In Machaire Rabhartaigh they call it the Teitheadh na n-Iarla facepalm. 

Mise Eire  didn’t have that kind of money. She doesn’t have that sort of money said the Department of Finance
Olli said that Mise Eire was a distressed agent. He could accept payment either as an arm and a leg of Mise eire  or else she could put it on the credit card as long as she gave him either her first born child, or alternatively, the pension fund of all the children. The NPRF. He waved his chainsaw around for theatrical effect. The tinkers were innocent.

This is what happens when Dublin  is in charge. That is how the NPRF was lost. 

And the Lord looked at it and said “and remembering nothing”. But Finland couldn’t escape deflation either. Nokia collapsed.  Ní uasal agus íseal ach thuas seal agus thíos seal.

If there had been 10 itinerants from Tuam at the meeting instead of the Gonzaga boys there would have been no guarantee . They wouldn't have trusted the banks.
"you can try and intimidate us, but f**k youse, we're going to win an All-Ireland anyway"

sligoman2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 759
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2017, 10:34:10 PM »
No offense Seafoid but what  the fcuk is this and what the fcuk has it got to do with a gaa discussion?
I used to be indecisive but now I'm not too sure.

Eamonnca1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4572
  • Catching the world in my headlights of justice
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 10:46:11 PM »
What have you been smoking, Seafoid?

Minder

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14090
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2017, 10:47:02 PM »
What have you been smoking, Seafoid?

He's a bot 
"When it's too tough for them, it's just right for us"

Syferus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11943
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2017, 10:53:21 PM »
Seafoid, you used to be a decent troll.

Captain Obvious

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4385
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2017, 11:32:58 PM »
visitors can't see pics , please register or login

The Subbie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 871
    • View Profile

The Gs Man

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1663
    • View Profile
    • Captain Kennedy
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2017, 09:33:47 AM »
Like an Irish Hunter S. Thompson.
Phosporescent!

The Subbie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 871
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2017, 12:08:36 PM »
Like an Irish Hunter S. Thompson.

More drugs used than hunter by the look of that OP.  :o

Owenmoresider

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1897
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2017, 01:28:15 PM »
It's merely an elaboration of most of his posts for the last few years really.

seafoid

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18014
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2017, 02:18:59 PM »
It's merely an elaboration of most of his posts for the last few years really.
It is actually.

The Department of Finance made a decision that cost the country over one thousand times one hundred million Euros.
And a lot of it has to do with the official culture of the powers in Ireland. They gave a guarantee without knowing how much it would cost. How many suicides were there ?
how many people went into negative equity?
How many Sligo footballers emigrated ?

And the economic system is melting down again
And nothing has changed.
Next time will be even worse.   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxbIU0X-lCI

nobody cares about your pension .

You think you are going to get a pension?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dY4WlxO6i0

Carry on
"you can try and intimidate us, but f**k youse, we're going to win an All-Ireland anyway"

seafoid

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18014
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2017, 03:28:21 PM »
Say this summer on the board you might have read a good bit about Carew and Peter Creedon. They are both atrocious. FFS. Shameful. Putting that fella on CHB when he never played CHB for the club. and tactics? Jesus. 

Very bad results .  I don't know how many 10 point plans for the regeneration of Laois football there are on the local pages. Should they get a local manager or whoever managed Ballyroan or Pat Flanagan maybe but also the attitude of the players is not good enough they weren't fit and they don't have the heads right. Maybe Beano could do it with somene to help him. Laois shouldn't be losing to fuckin Wexford or Westmeath and it was much better in 2004 and what do Laois need to do and should the town be providing more of an input and what about Emo . And Creedon only got one year and you can't change the mindset in one year and maybe the next lad needs 3 years and everyone rowing behind him but the first thing is the O'Byrne Cup.

The knowledge is pretty comprehensive

But when it comes to finance it's learned helplessness.Nobody knows anything. Nobody wants to know, it's only your financial future lads. You know how it is talking to the wife when the money is not really fluirseach. It is worse than losing the second round against Longford because she might be going on about it for weeks and you mightn't even get the ride if she is really mad because you forgot to pay for the schoolbags and there is only 20 Euro in the account because the payrises dried up in 2011.   

Why does say the Financial Regulator get a pass when Peter Creedon is vilified? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Creedon is out of his depth but nobody died.
"you can try and intimidate us, but f**k youse, we're going to win an All-Ireland anyway"

Orchard park

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 93
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2017, 03:57:50 PM »
your married seafoid, you wont need serious issues like schoolbag non payment to ensure limited conjugals

The Subbie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 871
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2017, 08:27:00 AM »
It's merely an elaboration of most of his posts for the last few years really.
It is actually.

The Department of Finance made a decision that cost the country over one thousand times one hundred million Euros.
And a lot of it has to do with the official culture of the powers in Ireland. They gave a guarantee without knowing how much it would cost. How many suicides were there ?
how many people went into negative equity?
How many Sligo footballers emigrated ?

And the economic system is melting down again
And nothing has changed.
Next time will be even worse.   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxbIU0X-lCI

nobody cares about your pension .

You think you are going to get a pension?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dY4WlxO6i0

Carry on

Fair play to ya Seafoid, haven't heard that del amitri tune in years, that brings me back, great tune  :)

johnneycool

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7495
  • who loves ya baby!
    • View Profile
Re: I remember September in Dublin and the Liffey it did stink like hell
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2017, 08:47:16 AM »
I keep telling everyone, pensions are the next big financial scandal/bollox up.

It's only a matter of time and we're all screwed.