Wexford on the way back up

[Punxsutawney Fergal]

An enterprising group of Wexford businessmen are set to come to the aid of Wexford hurling by granting John Myler his wish to have a '' few 6ft 4 hurlers in the forwards'' for next year.

In a daring move that will surely lead to namby pamby liberals foaming at the mouth, the businessmen, trading under the name Stretch and Grow Ltd, have reached agreement to purchase the last intact Cromwellian Rack which ,they believe, was used to teach lippy Wexicans manners when Cromwell and his army of gentlemen farmers chose to stay in Wexford on their way to a wedding in Cork.

According to a spokeman for Stretch and Grow, the Rack will be made available to Myler in his quest to find a taller and tougher Wexford hurler. '' The beauty of this yoke is that with a simple system of ropes and pulleys, a fella of five foot ten can be stretched to at least six foot two in less than three days'' said the spokeman. The recovery period is thought to be six months of intensive muscle and bone re-construction but the upside is that those six months will be used to teach lads how to hurl.

The Rack is currently on loan to a travel agency in Guantanamo Bay and once it has been serviced and cleaned, it will be shipped via Rosslare to the Bull Ring where Stretch and Grow have just received planning permission to install the Rack and a visitors gallery. '' We anticipate a lot of interest from dedicated hurling fans and passers-by'', said Freddie Fingertips of Stretch and Grow and '' while there will be a small charge for visitors it will be a pittance compared to paying for a twenty year bredding programme between taller Wexicans and success never comes cheap''.

As an introductory offer, Stretch and Grow have put up the money to have a talent contest which will seek to identify likely men for the job. ''Women need not apply as there is no shortage of big, tall women in the county'' said Freddie who himself stands tall and proud at five foot ten.

Cromwells Rack will be unveiled shorthy. It wil take longer to prepare the volunteers but there is no shortage of men longing to give it a go as the entry forms for the talent contest are out of print.

Liberals and porgs ( persons of restrictd growth) need not apply.

for more information log onto www.cromwellsrack.com

[Mentalman]

  top class, pity it's relegated to the back water that has become the hurling board...partitionists....

[AZOffaly]

At least the hurling topics stay 'topical' here, and aren't swallowed up by the latest Dubs v culchies, Ulster v Everybody threads on the main board.

[Homer]

Look at that one mention of 'Dancing at the Crossroads' and then all of a sudden a revival  .

[Mentalman]

At least the hurling topics stay 'topical' here, and aren't swallowed up by the latest Dubs v culchies, Ulster v Everybody threads on the main board.

True, it's swings and roundabouts I guess.

[dodo]

Wexford on the way back up..............................................................shit creek !!

[Punxsutawney Fergal]

Wexford on the way back up..............................................................shit creek !!

So you when we arrive there

[the procastenator]

they need a better underage structure